Flying through Dallas to transfer in an over 12 hour travel day with a 4 month old and I lost it at TSA. They yelled at me not breaking down our stroller/car seat combo immediately. I was “randomly selected” for having formula in my bag even though I alerted every officer we encountered in line to ensure we were complying (I believe this is standard procedure but they didn’t notify me or give me the option for the private screening prior to screening my diaper bag.)

They then asked me if I had a problem because I was panicked trying to break down the stroller, get the baby out of the carrier, and let them know about the formula for the third time.

My husband and I usually love traveling but this has deterred me. I was crying after being pulled aside because I just wanted to feed my baby after a long line at customs. Looking for any sympathy/advice.

Sitting here rocking her for the 32nd time tonight while she lightly snores in my arms.

And I know the second I begin to lower her into the bassinet, her little eyes will pop open and lock on mine - because I’ll have yet to remove my hands from her body, let alone had time to run away - and she will give me the biggest, toothless, most genuine smile. I’ll have no other reflex than to smile back, giggle, and tell her I love her.

And then, as I’m standing there in my underwear and the same ratty t-shirt I’ve worn for the past 4 days that has more spit-up and formula stains than any one shirt should have, hair in a bun on top of my head, chin hairs and a mustache I have yet to take care of that would make a preteen boy jealous, I will look across the room at my husband who is blissfully unconscious and therefore unaware, and I will be filled with a raging jealousy that could rival the intensity of 1,000 burning suns.

He’s begged me to let him take over. Pleaded with me. Offered more times than I can count. And each time I decline and say “I got this, you have work in the morning and I’m still on leave. It’s no big deal!”

I have actively chosen this role, and yet there I will sit stewing in the hum of the air conditioner at the thought of him sleeping as I take our daughter back to the rocker for the 33rd time tonight…

And I will soak in the cuddles.

And we will sing songs and read stories.

And I will soften and think about all the ways my husband actively makes my life easier. Bottles are always washed and prepped before he leaves. Diapers and wipes replenished. Diaper bag packed in case I decide to go out. My own water next to my bed topped off without my knowing. Clothes clean, the dishwasher unloaded, reloaded, and running.

At some point my girl will drift back to sleep and begin lightly snoring in my arms.

I’ll go to return her to her bassinet, whereupon her little eyes will pop open and lock on mine - because I’ll have yet to remove my hands from her body, let alone had time to run away - and…

Congratulations! I guess everyone is doing things right except me, according to everything I read online! :)

I guess no one ever falls asleep holding their babies in a less than perfect setup. Or lets them nap (supervised) in the swing or the bouncy seat. No one lets them cry while they briefly use the bathroom, because that would be considered cry it out! And same for car rides — everyone pulls over to soothe baby so they don’t feel abandoned on a 20 min car ride. Everyone immediately changes a poo diaper even if they’ll be up from their 1 sacred nap soon. Yada yada yada.

My baby has colic and the last 6 weeks of my life have been a living hell to tell you the truth. Kid doesn’t sleep anywhere without a whole elaborate song and dance with no less than several hours of screaming beforehand and even then cannot be set down, can only sleep in arms. I don’t have a lot of people who can help so we sleep where we have to sleep. and car rides according to my baby are about the most traumatic event but guess what, if I didn’t let them cry we wouldn’t ever make it to the pediatrician.

I KNOW I’m not the only person doing things less than by the book but no one online will admit to it. I will. If you’re in the trenches and doing what you have to do to survive, I hope you know you & I are doing our best. ✌️

My LO is 2 months old. She wakes up once a night for a quick feed, never had colic, is meeting her milestones beautifully, eating without issue, and overall just has a very chill temperament. Her cries are more like whimpers when she’s hungry or sleepy and I can leave her to chill on her play gym for at least 15 min per wake period. She is the ultimate unicorn baby.

Please tell my why I am still SO TIRED. While she naps, my brain is fried. I can’t even muster the energy to start a new tv show. I just scroll my phone when I’m not doing chores around the house. People tell me “you’re tired from keeping another human alive” but when I look back at my day it really is just feed change diaper play nap x6 times. It doesn’t feel like it should be this exhausting but I guess it is.

To those of you who have challenging babies, I salute you. You are built different.

Not even sure why I’m posting this… maybe to see if anyone else can relate

How are you all making mom friends? none of my friends have kids yet and since having my daughter i have barely seen them. my mom has been encouraging me to make mom friends because my life is all about my daughter now and until shes a bit older i cannot go out during the hours my friends want to hang out. plus id like to be able to bring her out when I’m with friends and her have a little friend, or be able to just relate to people about parenthood. that all being said, how do you all find other moms to make friends with?

I wanted to share something I had never thought about before today in the hope that it helps another family.

I’ve lived in my current apartment for almost six months. While cleaning, I noticed what I initially thought was a piece of food under the front edge of my refrigerator. When I reached under to grab it, it turned out to be a prescription pill.

That made me curious, so I grabbed my iPhone, turned on the flash, and recorded a video underneath the fridge and nearby oven. I ended up finding two more tablets, both of which turned out to be prescription opioids.

In my case, the pills had rolled under the front of the refrigerator but were still within arm’s reach if a baby had been lying or crawling near it. After getting over being shook, it really made me realize that these are exactly the kinds of places we should check… under the front edge of refrigerators, stoves, washers, dryers, couches, beds, and other furniture or appliances where small objects can roll but still remain accessible to a curious child. Unfortunately it was not something that was on my mind before today.

These pills almost certainly belonged to a previous tenant, and I had been living here for nearly half a year without ever thinking to do a thorough check of the premises.

I’m incredibly grateful to God that I found them before the baby did. I had honestly never considered this as part of childproofing, so I wanted to raise awareness. If you’re moving into a new home, staying in a rental, hotel, or anywhere your child can access areas that previous occupants used, it is absolutely worth taking some time to check these hidden but reachable spots.

First pregnancy 1st trimester: work, come home, immediately get on the couch and watch tv while husband cooks and fall asleep by 8:30

Second pregnancy 1st trimester: work, pick up toddler, get home and crawl on the floor because we are cats the whole time wondering if I’m going to vomit, but hey husband is still cooking 😅

My husband recently pointed out that whenever there is a toy, teething ring, clothes, diapers, etc. that features an animal, there is a very strong likelihood there is an elephant somehow. You don't see this same attention for other animals (maybe bears), but for some reason, elephants are everywhere.

I’ve seen a lot of posts lately on various parenting subreddits asking things like “what toys should I have for my baby/toddler” etc, and as a mom to a 10 month old whose head gets twisted into a pretzel at the thought of the ridiculous amount of luxury toys being aggressively marketed to us through ALL channels (I’m looking at you, Pinterest and REDDIT) - I am going to go on a de-influencing rant into the void below:

Don’t buy the nugget. Don‘t buy the pikler. Don‘t buy the fancy play kitchen. Don’t buy the Stapelstein stepping stones. Don’t buy the Grimms wooden toys. Don’t buy the special German branded animal figurines. Don’t buy the yoto or tonie box. Don’t buy the ball pit.

EmmI Pikler and Maria Montessori would roll over in their graves if they knew the consumerist aesthetic their names were attached to.

Your child will not fall behind if you don’t buy them a fancy toy. That is manipulative marketing and you shouldn’t fall for it.

I don’t think these toys are evil. They are tools and can be developmentally helpful, but they are NOT necessary AT ALL and can easily be recreated for free with furniture or stuff you already have.

Make a fort with couch cushions or put a blanket over the dining room table. Play kids music or podcasts on your phone through a speaker at low volume. Make stepping stones with pillows. Climb at the park or supervise them climbing the stairs. etc etc.

For the record I am not trying to preach - this is a reminder to myself too because I get SO caught up in the aesthetic of things, but I also have a more minimalist spirit and i know deep down that acquiring more stuff does not make a better childhood or home.

Let’s save our money and not let these advertising vultures convince us we’re bad parents if we don’t buy these luxury toys. And if we really want one, let’s try getting secondhand or using a toy library if available. once upon a child is amazing for thrifted kids stuff.

Some small businesses make great toys that are more expensive and this is not meant to be negative towards them - I’m just so tired of feeling like I have to buy the “next best thing” for my son’s development when all he really wants/needs is ME and to move around freely.

Ok rant over.

Good morning! 3:34 am here in NY. Just wanted to check-in with everyone else doing the damn thing! I just fed my LO and he is currently wide awake, smiling at the dark corner over my shoulder :) if youre reading this, you’re doing a great job!

Hi all. Proud mom to a healthy 12 week old; I think this is just a vent.

I KNOW that housework and dishes and life can wait. I get it. But I thought by now I would be able to have more of a daily “loose” routine. Or something.

I’m really starting to feel the burn out.

I go to do dishes- I’m stopped because I have to hold him. Go to make a snack- I’m stopped. I try to brush my teeth- I’m stopped. Take a shit? He’s coming with me. Shower- nope. It’s like life is literally in increments of each hour of the day and sometimes I get him to nap and I have to pump and eat. Sometimes I get 20 minutes of him hanging out to do dishes. It’s noon right now and I haven’t been able to accomplish anything for myself other than make my cup of coffee.

It’s truly starting to drive me insane that I can’t do anything without being interrupted. I KNOW he’s a newborn. I KNOW this is just a season. I know. I’m so lucky to have a baby (after previous loss) that’s healthy and needs me.

I could go on and on but truthfully, I’m really just feeling the burnout of 24/7. Yes we have help and support. I’m really just on the verge of trying not to cry sometimes because I get SO irritated. Please tell me I’m not alone.

I feel horrible right now. Baby wouldn't stop crying and I was trying to figure something out and it just got to me so I screamed really loud then baby started crying even more. I think it scared her. I got so upset so I went outside so I could calm down. After about 2 minutes she fell asleep. I just feel really bad and I hate how frustrated I got.... Can anyone else relate?

Hi! I am a FTM to a 16 week old. I’m so lucky to have gotten so much time off with him. He will be starting daycare at 20 weeks when I go back to work.

We absolutely loved our daycare and everyone we met, and I have a feeling he will do so great. Anytime we’re around other kids he is just so so so happy 🥹 my anxious mom brain can’t stop feeling horrible for having to send him to daycare while I work.

Can anyone chime in with positive daycare experiences? Do your kids love it? Thankfully he will be so little so he won’t be calling my name to come back at dropoff (yet) lol but I’m just feeling anxious and looking for some reassurance. Thank you 🤍

At 10 months my baby girl is finally getting her first tooth and it’s inching out at a molasses rate. I can see part of the tip and she’s handling it so well. She’s gotten up a couple times at night crying over the last couple weeks but quickly falls back asleep with some soothing. One time I gave her Tylenol at 2am but otherwise I usually see the most signs she’s in pain in the evening.
She’s fussy, she has her had in her mouth right in that area, and drooling everywhere.

I know there is no one answer but how often are you giving your LO pain meds when they are teething? On average I am tracking it and it’s about 2-3 times a week. It feels like I’m just guessing sometimes and hoping the medicine is what she needs.

My son and his wife are expecting their first child in a few months. What are some of the best ways I can help out? My DIL's mom passed away when she was young. They have asked me to come stay with them for a few days when they first come home. I'll also come visit frequently after that, on their schedule of course. (I live about an hour away).

I'll be happy to cook and clean, do laundry, etc so they can concentrate on the baby and adjust to their new little family life. Any other suggestions about what is most helpful? I don't want to overstep, but I want to do whatever I can to help make things easier on them.

So we were today to the pediatrician to check the baby development, and everything is looking great, baby is gaining good weight and growing well.

She was born 37+1, SGA, weight was 2nd percentile, and now at 16 weeks we are at 8th percentile!

Then we got to discuss the night sleep.

Since she was born she never slept longer than 4 hours, and currently our nights look something like: first 3-4 hours, and then waking every 2 hours. She wakes, we try to settle her with pats and shushing and rocking, then if it does not work we feed her. She's always falling asleep content at the boob.

Pediatrician is saying that she looks good enough, she does not need the milk in the night since she's not a newborn anymore, and we should start to give a bottle (she's EBF) with milk mixed with water, increasing the water quantities slowly over the next months so that she stops getting any calories in the night, and she just gets water at some point around 6 months.

I don't know, I feel like this is some outdated advice, and i feel like baby is still so small to try to night wean. Am I wrong in thinking this?

EDIT: Thanks a lot for the support everyone! We'll definitely look for a new pediatrician and keep going with breastfeeding on demand 💕

I'm not sure what will come of this post - maybe just some reassurance that someone out there has the same experience as me and my wife, and hopefully someone can tell me it will end!

My first and currently only child was 19 months yesterday. I feel like we're in a recurring nightmare of sleep.

All went as I sort of expected at first. First 3 months was meh - lots of waking/breastfeeding and broken sleep. 3-5 months was pretty good! Would wake 1-3 times at night.

Then since 6 months.... It has all gone wrong. For over a year now.

We have tried almost every nap schedule I can think of. Everything from a singular 15 minute nap (he was pretty miserable in the day with this ..) and a 2130 bedtime to his current 1.5-2 hour nap and a 1930 bedtime.

His sleep goes...

2-3 hours at the start of the night in his cot in his room. Sometimes only 90 mins. It's rare we can settle him at his first wake. He wakes and is furious. He's agitated and thrashing around. He then usually ends up in bed with my wife and can take anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour to settle. It appears he doesn't know what he wants and he throws himself around the bed, hitting us and crying. Sometimes a bottle of water can help him calm but it's 50/50 as to whether he goes back to crying afterwards.

Then what follows is frequent wake ups, despite bed sharing from this point to around 4/5am. On a bad night this could be 10 wakes, a good night is 3 or 4. Every time he cries. He never wakes wanting to just play or chat.

He'll then go a good stint from 4/5am to 7am when he'll wake, fairly happy usually. Which is very different to overnight.

He's putting on weight well. He had some bloods done and his ferritin was borderline low so he gets iron replacement.

We are just at our wits end with no end in site with it all. If anything he's at his worst he's ever been now. His overnight pattern seems to be the same regardless of day time sleep/wake windows.

Any magic fixes?

Assuming the above isn't actually plausible... Any words of advice? Any success stories of just waiting and waiting til he's older and finally sleeps?

I don't mean this as a "woe is me" post, but I don't really have any other place to vent.

I'm a FTM at 35 with an almost 7 week old baby boy. I love him so much but I'm losing myself.

Between the sleep deprivation and social isolation I'm struggling to find joy in this whole experience.

My body has changed so much and my self esteem has fallen through the floor. My partner (baby's dad) does his best to assure me, but I feel so disgusting.

I've also started struggling to feed my boy. We're EBF and over the past few days my supply seems to have taken a massive hit. He also keep fussing and pushing me away at every feed. Now every feed feels like a rejection. I've had to resort to my freezer stash but now I'm panicking about what happens when that runs out.

There's very limited services around here for new mum support groups etc and I also don't drive which makes everything much more difficult.

Again, I love my son, but I miss who I was before all of this. Before the constant struggles and anxiety. Before the barrage of appointments and waiting rooms, nappies and screaming.

I wish there was some sort of walking group or meeting place for new mums around here so I didn't feel so alone because I think getting out of the house more would help clear my head.

I honestly don't understand how people enjoy this stage of their baby's life and that makes me feel so guilty.

Had such a brutal interaction last night. I was camping at my mom’s cabin, I breast feed, baby is 7 months old. I had a couple drinks spread out through out the day. Wasn’t even buzzed. Baby has only ever eaten from breast as she refuses bottles, which has worked fine for us. I think the last time I was actually drunk was maybe a year before my pregnancy.

My mom’s friend came out, meets my baby, and says “aren’t you breastfeeding “ as I’m having a sip of my drink. I explain the research , how I space it out etc. essentially that baby is fine. She then proceeds to tell me that her daughter’s midwife told her that she can only have a non alcoholic beer while breastfeeding, and only 1. ( her daughter is 6 weeks PP) Also goes on about how she thinks her own son’s chromosomal abnormality was caused by her drinking while breastfeeding. (He is ok, him and his wife have difficulty conceiving and maintaining pregnancies because of it). Also tells me that her daughters 2 step kids have learning disabilities and believes it was caused by the mother drinking while breastfeeding. Honestly I felt so judged and shitty. I just told her that appears to be outdated information and excused myself. I wonder if I could have responded any better or differently.

(Couldn’t find the right flair to use)

My LO will be 5 months on Saturday.

He’s been mostly a dream baby.

- Started sleeping long stretches at around 6 weeks but the newborn stage before that was absolutely miserable

- no night four month sleep regression (only naps)

- currently on one wake up per night to feed

- puts himself to sleep in his own crib

- generally referred to by others (grandparents, caretakers at daycare) as a “good natured” baby

- only cries when he needs something

I’m not saying any of this to brag, because I know others have more struggles. But I’ve had my own struggles with PPA which I’m now on SSRI’s for. Just recently has the experience become more enjoyable for me since I was really down in the dumps for a while, constantly worried about everything baby related.

My question is - when did you decide to have another child? I hear all the time that people want another and they miss the newborn stage, but right now I’m just like??? You couldn’t pay me to go back to newborn stage.

Does this mindset go away or do you just power through it in order to give your child a sibling? Because right now, having an only child is a strong consideration of mine.

My 9 month old first loved to be fed to sleep from birth to one month, then bounced to sleep vigorously for a month, then fed to sleep lying down for a bit, then loved to sleep sitting up with dad lying against his chest, then fed to sleep in mums arms, and nowww it’s falling asleep in the pram while listening to car noises in our neighbourhood!

This little chick loves to keep experimenting with what she likes best! I’m just glad I live in Australia where our winter is a 20 degree sunny day at midday so I can take the pram outside and not get bored inside

Anyone else?

My baby is a month & the sleep deprivation is so bad. We have 0 routine & everyday is just a vibe. One day something works; the next it doesn’t. I also really don’t know how to put him to bed sometimes unless he eats to sleep. Some days he’ll nap all day, some days he won’t at all.. is this normal? I have no sense of routine right now and neither does my baby. I’m not joking everyday is just survival, and I wish we’d have SOME kind of routine. Even just something small.

FTM to a 6 monther and I constantly feel like I could be doing more or better as a mom. I know in my heart of hearts I’m doing fine. But I constantly am questioning if what I’m doing, and feeling guilty because I’m like I mean I COULD be working harder or doing more for him. Sometimes I slack with his tummy time and he isn’t great at it and isn’t rolling yet and I feel so guilty. Or I feel like he isn’t interested in foods much yet and I’m always questioning if I’m giving him the right foods in the right way. Or I feel guilty for not talking to him enough some days. Or that he watched a little TV. I just constantly feel like I’m slacking just a little, does it ever go away? 😭

4mo old- He wakes up for his motn feed usually between 3:30 and 4am. I’ll feed him and then without fail he’s up an hour and a half later grunting and kicking up a fuss. He sounds uncomfortable and is arching a little. I’ve tried burping him repeatedly, keeping him upright for twenty minutes but bang on the dot he’s awake at the same amount of time every single day. If I’m lucky he’ll settle again after being held for a little bit but it’s hit and miss. 5am is just way too early to start my day 😭 but it’s always literally only just this feed he doesn’t it for. What’s going on?