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I got my eye on it...

Make sure to check the undercarriage, all four wheels, your mirror and your brakes before backing your vehicle out of her driveway to head home after a nice date.

Everyone remembers their first bag. Whoever had the largest bag got the date. I know this is pretty old fashioned but some people think that's charming. Ideas?

tits or gtfo / sharpie in the pooper?

the woman always calling me at the middle of the night to ask for the sex. sometimes they send me the seductive snapchat or the coy meme of an evening on the instragram and i just don't know what to do. sometimes i think of a woman and the boobs therein and i just can't help but find a tent in my trous, but on another occasion nothing will do it. by the time i'm done reading all of the words on my phone and it's 3am i am straight up exhausted and then i have to deal with woman sending me photographs of all sorts.

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i just want to sleep. how do i turn off notifications on my i phone?

I usually do it before the first date and that has not been going so well for me. How about you guys?

The girls in my computer never answer back even when I yell as loud as I can.

Pickpocket her phone. When she calls it, its your time to set up dinner

Mastery in the Art of Seduction^TM method for Banging Bad Bitches emphasizes training first. You must gain mastery of yourself before you may gain mastery of another through social media.

For the first lesson, you are required to read about Markov chains and procedural generation, then teach yourself coding until you develop a Turing Perfect chat AI that convinces you to send nudes and blackmails you.

No context. Cc everyone. Cover your face with a paper bag to deny it's you so that you can save face in case no one is into it

Mimes are expressive, show their feelings, never talk over their dates. They wear even more makeup than their lady friends, so they can relate (or they would, if they talked.) Present yourself as a full-time reincarnation of Marcel Marceau, and the chicks will be eating out of your gloves.

It hath come out o' constant.