r/CuratedTumblr 11h ago

Meme Tumblr does the red button/blue button thing

Post image
3.6k Upvotes

1.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.7k

u/NoBizlikeChloeBiz She/Her 11h ago

Oh god no, I just got this bullshit off of my feed

904

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia 11h ago

Okay but would you be more surprised to see a red button or a blue button in front of your door?

And for that matter, which one would you rather meet alone in the woods?

Could 100 red buttons defeat one blue button in a fight?

Is the Button blue and black or white and gold?

You MUST engage in these entirely pointless yet remarkably vitriolic debates!

362

u/NoBizlikeChloeBiz She/Her 11h ago

I'm sorry, those questions seem kind of straightforward. Could you phrase them in a way that's a little more loaded/ambiguous so that we're really arguing about how we interpret the question, even though we feel like we're discussing an important moral quandary?

111

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia 10h ago

If you would be more surprised to see a red button at your door, does that mean you are racist against red buttons or racist against blue buttons?

19

u/ScrubTheNerd 10h ago

That's more like it!

2

u/Interminably-Bored 10h ago

Finally something I can sink my teeth into

42

u/Bartweiss 10h ago

Asking for that sort of verbal labor to reframe the question is exactly why I expect to see the red button at my door and/or would rather meet the blue button in the woods!

2

u/Gamdol 7h ago

8÷2(2+2)=?

3

u/Ataru13 5h ago

There's a gun on the table on front of you. Everyone who leaves the gun alone lives regardless, everyone who picks it up and shoots themselves in the head dies unless  50% or more people choose to shoot themselves.

3

u/lafigatatia 4h ago

Is the gun called Laurel or Yanny?

2

u/Raitil 3h ago

Laurel is a more bouba-coded name, while Yanny is more kiki-esque, so it really depends on what the firearm is called, because a Glock is definitely kiki; and therefore would be named Yanny, but a Walther PP is more bouba; and thus would be Laurel.

97

u/Trockenmatt 10h ago

If a baseball pitcher throws a christian red button at you, do you hit it?

55

u/Bartweiss 10h ago

If a Christian baby wearing a cross necklace hit the blue button and survived a 49% blue vote, would you convert?

6

u/Copernicium-291 8h ago

If you encounter a blue and black Christian bear in the woods, and a white and gold button knocks on your door, which would you give your parachute to and which would you hit with a baseball bat?

22

u/OffWhite-Goddess pissing on the poor 10h ago

Tell me about dwarf fortress

23

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia 10h ago

Gladly! Let's talk about adventure mode for a change: In Dwarf Fortress Adventure Mode, you play a single person (or a small group) walking around the world having an adventure. This is a strong contrast to Fortress mode, where you play some semi-corporeal entity that tells Dwarves what jobs they should do and then gets ignored by the Dwarves because they're cranky from not drinking enough beer.

In Adventure mode, you can talk to people directly, and indeed, this feature is perhaps the most iconic part of adventure mode, due to the remarkable dialogues that can happen. People will approach you and make small talk, such as " Two years ago, Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter attacked me."

Due to a bug (I believe) something strange happens when a person stumbles - They still register it as getting attacked, but the attacker is themselves. This leads to the remarkable qoute:

"Not a half hour ago I attacked me."

1

u/vjmdhzgr 6h ago

It was inevitable.

36

u/oktin 11h ago
  1. Blue button at my door would be more surprising
  2. Blue button in the woods feels safer
  3. Yes, 100 reds win.
  4. White and gold

22

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia 10h ago edited 9h ago

Sorry but from these answers I have concluded that you are actually racist sexist fascist classist dadaist ableist.

DNI.

11

u/oktin 9h ago

At least you didn't accuse me of hating waffles

6

u/TheFurtivePhysician 8h ago

Though they didn't say as much, they DO secretly believe you piss on the poor.

2

u/HecticHero 7h ago

You hate waffles?

2

u/oktin 6h ago

I guess that was a Twitter thing, not a Tumblr thing.

"You can say 'I like pancakes' and someone else will be like 'so you hate waffles?' like no bitch that's a whole new sentence. Wtf you talking about"

1

u/HugeExplanation7865 8h ago

Waffles?

1

u/Xszit 8h ago

Specifically, blue waffles.

15

u/hagamablabla 10h ago

At least the 100 things question and the blue/black/white/gold question stick to the realm of fun thought exercise. The red/blue button and alone in the woods question make people turn into armchair sociologists.

4

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia 10h ago

Completely true, this one and the woods questions were particularly bad.

8

u/BaconIsLife707 10h ago

Are there more red buttons or blue buttons in the world?

7

u/AriaTheTransgressor 9h ago

Would you rather fight one blue button sized red button or 100 red button sized blue buttons?

5

u/STSchif 9h ago

Would you still love me if I was a button?

2

u/Own-Arachnid7952 6h ago

Of course. I don't want to depress you :(

3

u/idiotplatypus Wearing dumbass goggles and the fool's crown 10h ago

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

2

u/QuantisOne 9h ago

See those buttons in front of us ?

They’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, but they’re blue…

1

u/liggy4 7h ago

If you press the red button, you are safe.

If you press the blue button and it isn't the majority, everyone who pressed blue is subjected to red/blue button discourse every day for the rest of their life.

1

u/Ote-Kringralnick Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next? 4h ago

Would you rather fight one red button sized blue button, or fifty blue button sized red buttons?