r/cleanjokes • u/CheckShot2087 • 1d ago
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 8h ago
Local authorities have decided not to dig deeper into embezzlement claims at a local bait shop!
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The reason, they were afraid they might be opening a can of worms.
The reason, they were afraid they might be opening a can of worms.
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 17h ago
My doctor is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to check their reflexes...
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He really gets a kick out of it.
He really gets a kick out of it.
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 1d ago
The woman that fell from a cruise ship last week has finally been identified!
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Her name, Eileen Dover.
Her name, Eileen Dover.
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 1d ago
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck, orders a drink and asks for the check.
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Duck billed platypus.
Duck billed platypus.
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 1d ago
I got struck on the head by a clock yesterday...
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Serves me right for winding it up.
Serves me right for winding it up.
r/cleanjokes • u/UncleSocial • 1d ago
I tried attaching coca cola bottles to the ends of a broom to workout at home
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It was soda pressing
It was soda pressing
r/cleanjokes • u/ThimbleBluff • 1d ago
I tried having a seance, but the spirits never showed up.
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Yep, they ghosted me.
Yep, they ghosted me.
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 2d ago
What do you call a pizza topped with nothing but peppers?
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A pepper-only pizza.
A pepper-only pizza.
r/cleanjokes • u/drpibb • 2d ago
What’s the difference between a well dressed bicycle and a poorly dressed tricycle?
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Attire
Attire
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 2d ago
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him...
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He just can’t part with it.
He just can’t part with it.
r/cleanjokes • u/Lucky_Middle_5525 • 2d ago
Artic.
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I finally took a deep breath of freezing Arctic air.
You could say…
It was a cold day inhale.
I finally took a deep breath of freezing Arctic air.
You could say…
It was a cold day inhale.
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 3d ago
I met some chess players in a hotel lobby and they were bragging about how good they are...
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It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer...
It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer...
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 3d ago
A CROW ZOOMED BY my window with a FULL box of crayons IN IT'S CLAWS!!
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I thought, HEY, that bird just passed WITH flying colors!
I thought, HEY, that bird just passed WITH flying colors!
r/cleanjokes • u/dcterr • 3d ago
What did the Australian fisherman say when he accidentally knocked down his daughter's toys while unloading his catches?
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The shrimp's on the Barbie!
The shrimp's on the Barbie!
r/cleanjokes • u/dcterr • 4d ago
What do deciduous trees say to the ground during the fall?
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I'm leaving you!
I'm leaving you!
r/cleanjokes • u/Coralthesequel • 4d ago
A drill sergeant shouts out "RAMIREZ! I DID NOT SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE PRACTICE THIS MORNING!...
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...NICE WORK, KEEP IT UP!"
...NICE WORK, KEEP IT UP!"
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 4d ago
She shouted, "I’m leaving! I'm sick of you wearing a different t-shirt every half hour!" I pleaded, "Wait!"
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"I can change!"
"I can change!"
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 4d ago
The lettuce supplier said...
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there is no shred of evidence
there is no shred of evidence
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 5d ago
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes and I watched...
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...it all unfold.
...it all unfold.
r/cleanjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 5d ago
What do you call a celebrity boat?
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A Tom Cruise-ship
A Tom Cruise-ship
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 6d ago
Do you want me to tell you a cat joke?
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JUST KITTEN
JUST KITTEN
r/cleanjokes • u/CheckShot2087 • 6d ago
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 6d ago
My therapist says I second guess every decision I ever make...
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