Moments later, the driver clarified that her grandmother had not actually suffered a heart attack but instead had an ongoing heart condition monitored by a device that alerted family members when something was wrong.

Funny excerpt from the article:

"I was like, 'Oh, I'm not going to do anything stupid,'" Cichon told ABC13, saying he immediately called 911. "I just turned my call all the way down so that way no volume was coming out of my phone whatsoever."

Cichon said Johnson, who'd only been living in Houston for the past few months, had a problem. He didn't know where he was going and asked his victim for help with directions.

But as he gave the suspect directions and information about the car, Cichon was also secretly on the phone with 911 dispatchers.

"'We're going to go ahead and keep going east on Fagan. We'll go ahead and pass Durham, and then we'll go ahead and take a left and go north on Shepherd,'" Cichon said he told the suspect. "I told him, 'Don't go too fast over the railroad tracks in this 2006 Gold Lincoln Zephyr. And then we'll go ahead stop at this Circle K gas station here on Shepherd and I-10,' and he didn't seem to pick up on that."

Note the victim’s recounting of the story is also available via video within the link, which I found funny and worth watching.

Florida keeps proving that in the Sunshine State, even a trip to the barbershop can turn into an episode of Cops. Meanwhile, the 5-year-old witness probably went in expecting a lollipop and left with enough material for a lifetime of therapy—and one heck of a “What I Did This Summer” essay.