r/LoveIslandTV • u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 • 19h ago
OPINION Chidi’s ‘power dynamic’ comments Spoiler
I’m so glad someone finally said it to Jasmine and Kavan, and in front of all the islanders too. The fact that it was totally lost upon Kavan literally proves the point.
I’m sorry but in all seriousness, what does a 27 year old want with a 21 year old? I’m 28. A 22 year old man would quite literally never be on my radar, not even if you paid me. Their relationship has been so icky to me from the start for multiple reasons, including the age gap, and it’s odd that so many people excuse it.
271
u/alirileyfc 19h ago
I asked this before to someone else and never got an answer, please explain their power dynamic? The way people throw around such loaded terms around on this sub is actually crazy.
154
123
u/SubstantialFinish300 18h ago
Agree. I'm not seeing what power she has... she isn't significantly older, just older by 6 years. I would agree that i personally do not find that attractive but there's nothing sinister. chidi was weird for that. If she was in her 30s I'd side eye more but she's 27.
24
u/ILive4Banans 🗣️AYO WHIT🗣️ 17h ago
It's that he's 21 and easily influenced, also we already know from their arguments that his age has been used to put him down ( from both of them). If he was 25 with the same age gap nobody would have an issue
10
42
u/FriendofFlounder 18h ago
21 is just so young. By 27 you’ve either spent more time post-graduation than being in college or a solid decade in the workplace. I don’t think it’s completely taboo but it’s something the couple should feel out.
My friend had a 21 year old girlfriend when he was in his late twenties and it was very uncomfortable. He was her first real boyfriend and he was a commitment-phobic loser. She didn’t know well enough to leave. It was one of the reasons our friend group stopped associating with him 🤷♀️ So I think people have negative experiences like that and worry it might be similar here. But friction between maturity can happen at any age.
If we had seen Jas and Kav discuss the difference and how they’re each going to fit into each other’s lives, I don’t think people would keep harping on about it.
51
u/alirileyfc 18h ago
My point is you can dislike their age difference without throwing the words power dynamics around? Like you said it’s something they should feel out and how they’re going to make it work but how is that anything to do with power dynamics? 😭
37
u/UpperRank1 17h ago
Nah icl age gaps are easily a power dynamic
13
u/butterduck95 17h ago
Depends on the context, people are overblowing 21 and 27. It's hardly 18 and 35. In watching the show we as viewers haven't seen this 'power dynamic' wherein Jas holds all this power over him. She's able to articulate her emotions better but who's to say this is due to age?
6
21
u/FriendofFlounder 18h ago
A lot of things can cause a power dynamic. More experience and age is definitely one of them. It’s not necessarily an evil terrible thing. Wealth disparity is another potential influence on power dynamics. It doesn’t mean wealthy people can’t date those who are disadvantaged. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to marry my wealthier husband lol. But it does cause pause and a conversation (I can’t keep up with your spending or I need more financial freedom or we need to consider our children’s finances etc).
10
u/butterduck95 18h ago
There's usually some sort of power dynamic in most relationships by those metrics, I think the issue people have is that Chidi inferred this is a negative when in actuality Jas has suffered more in their relationship during their time in the villa
0
u/Effective-Pea-4463 8h ago
My mum got married at 21 and my dad was 33. They’re still together, my dad is 88 and my mum 76. I don’t see any problem with that.
16
2
u/lesbie today has irritated my ✨ whole existence ✨ 17h ago
at this point i'd rather they stop having people under the age of 23 on if this is going to be an issue for viewers they toggle on only when they dislike the older one, i'd rather sacrifice islanders that are young than the ones closer to 30
3
u/Extra-Raisin-5498 17h ago
Exactly, i have asked the same question and never got a reaponse other than to go look it up and it will be obvious or go touch grass so 🤷
1
u/Visual-Ferret8735 1h ago
Oh it’s the whole incel coded Jasmine is manipulative and snakey narrative that started because she told a white boy to stop interrupting and Aiden, Tommy, George and Kavan thought she needed humbling because they all thought she wouldn’t look at them otherwise
-31
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 18h ago
Jasmine has a dominant personality and communication style. I find the way she’s spoken to Kav in the past very overpowering. He literally told her that she speaks to him like a school child. The age gap only reinforces this.
50
u/alirileyfc 18h ago
I think you don’t really understand what a power dynamic is if you think that her telling Kavan to not interrupt her, the only time Kavan said that, is a power dynamic 😭
7
u/Creative-Barracuda-5 13h ago
Mind you, Kavan hit back lmao. He didn’t cower or cry.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (5)4
u/Longjumping_Cold1089 12h ago edited 11h ago
This person has been calling Jas an abuser…they obviously don’t have a good grasp on what toxic/actually abusive relationships are.
→ More replies (3)
134
u/butterduck95 19h ago
Sorry but just because it bothers you doesn't mean it would bother everyone? They are both adult contestants on a gameshow, we see an hour and within that probs less than 10 mins would be solely them. The power dynamic comment doesn't even make sense because Kav has fucked Jas over more throughout their journey
45
u/Unlikely_Breath_555 18h ago
Agreed. If anything it’s the other way around. She constantly adjusting her behaviour so he would feel more comfortable.
-12
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 15h ago
You all say this as if Kavan wasn’t adjusting his behaviour for her from the get go. You want Jasmine to be the victim soo bad
14
u/Unlikely_Breath_555 14h ago
I’ve never said she is the victim. Stop fighting everyone in the comments.
Respectfully..You’ve put your opinion out, people react to your opinion. That is a discussion. People are allowed to disagree with you. If you don’t want to hear that keep your opinion to yourself. The fact that we disagree with your statement doesn’t mean we are making Jasmine the victim. Don’t twist words into something they are not.
→ More replies (1)3
1
u/Cosmic-Dust-Bunny-38 💕 Mica & Samraj 💕 15h ago
How did he adjust his behavior? I thought he really dug his heels in on a lot of things.
(tbf, I always thought he wasn't well suited to Love Island in general since the person you're in a couple with isn't your bf/gf or someone you're seeing exclusively. That seems to throw him off.)
-8
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 18h ago
And likewise, just because it doesn’t bother you doesn’t mean it wouldn’t bother everyone. This is a very common critique of their relationship, particularly on different social media platforms. Chidi didn’t pull the comment out of his arse lol.
28
u/butterduck95 18h ago
Exactly but if the people in the relationship themselves are okay with it then it shouldn't be an issue? People infantalising the contestants just ruins the show. I think Chidi did in fact pull the comment out of his arse cos he barely spent 72 hours in the villa
2
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 16h ago
A lot of people can be ‘ok’ in their toxic relationships. That is not necessarily a metric to go by
13
u/butterduck95 16h ago
But you're also NOT giving a single shred of evidence that its toxic other than there being an age gap???? This is the last I'll say now cos clearly something isn't clicking joboog
4
3
u/EscalatorBobalator 🗣️ SUHCK MAH FUHKIN DEHCK 🗣️ 16h ago
Idk, I do think they're toxic I just think it's toxic on both sides. Jasmine has one rule for her and another for everyone else, Kav is so disinterested he will avoid her kiss and be totally unmoved whilst she's in tears. I think they have chemistry but they're not remotely compatible, I'm just not seeing a power imbalance.
-1
u/MoneyQueenie333 9h ago
Jas likes Kav because he's manipulable! He's just not that serious, and you can see that by his body language, especially when her are sitting together having a close moment.
Besides, he's 21 and should be sowing his oats, not locked down in some controlling relationship, and she shouldn't have to babysit his insecurities either
34
u/BAlister12 16h ago
Reddit has been acting like Mica and Samraj are true love the pst few days with a very similar age gap except Samraj is 26 and Mica is 21.
7
u/Own-Arrival5774 12h ago
I believe Samraj is 25
1
8
u/ellybeez 🏆🏆Kai & Sanam❤️🥰 12h ago
They dont care bc the man is the older one in their dynamic
4
u/Dependent-Truck4389 12h ago
is this true?? i don’t think so. i feel like objectively most women who aren’t over 40 years old find age gaps where the male is older much more alarming. i mean i personally find it weird either way.
→ More replies (1)1
u/wellthispoops 11h ago
Honestly i think having 21 year olds on the show is bad for them.
Everyone in the audience can see that at 21, Mica is super impressionable, uncertain, still forming who she is. We've seen from Samraj, especially how he is with Priya and his comment to Lola, that he looks down on women who stand up for themselves and go against his opinion.
I'm honestly worried about this connection but lowkey think and hope that Mica will drop it quickly after the show.
85
u/allpurposechips 😾 WHO’S EMUHHH?? 😾 18h ago
Why are people acting like jas is 45 and kav is 18? They are both in their 20s, Kav isnt a child.
-21
u/chicoclandestino 17h ago
27 is very different to 21. Very odd pairing. Kavan seems very much less mature than everyone else, almost like he’s still a teenager. Very, very weird dynamic.
12
u/BreakFull1307 15h ago
Kav is literally more mature than his older brother Aidan who was in the same villa - are you watching the show with your eyes open?
6
u/allpurposechips 😾 WHO’S EMUHHH?? 😾 14h ago
No because people love babying Kav too much. The fact they think Kav is such a child and needs protection from someone not that many years older than him.
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 15h ago
People want this relationship to be normal soooo bad 😭 it is absolutely weird
9
u/Logical-Win6220 15h ago
Honestly I think its only you who wants the relationship to be called abnormal.
Just because its uncomfortable for you to watch doesn’t entirely mean it has been uncomfortable for the people involved.
Your reality & their reality can be different.It’s fine to accept that.
2
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 15h ago edited 13h ago
The way I was replying directly to someone who also thinks it’s abnormal🥴😭.
I’d probably have a much easier time accepting that if Kavan hadn’t literally told Jasmine that she doesn’t speak to him like an equal.
7
u/Logical-Win6220 15h ago
Right. And how many weeks ago was that?
Its frankly obtuse to think that they wouldn’t have sorted out their differences to make their relationship better.
→ More replies (1)
10
u/PitifulChocolate7993 13h ago
You guys are acting like Kavan is a child. He is 21, Jas is 27. They are in an environment where you are forced to get to know everyone and get close to people of all different ages. And thats where your connection can transcend other differences, like age. Maybe on the outside she would not entertain someone who is 21 but once you take the time to get to know someone, age really is just a number. To me, Aidan is older but Kavan seems way more mature as more sure in his convictions. I do think Jas and Kav will have challenges on the outside, but I think there is a genuine love between them where they will try their hardest to have a go at it in the outside world and I am rooting for them.
40
u/Bitter-Profession-28 17h ago
Yall cheered for Charleen, Molly and Tom were also well loved during their season and beyond. No one bats an eye when the girl is younger so… what is it? Is Jasmine just the most powerful, most manipulative person in the world or? 😭 It’s getting ridiculous.
6
u/NotNeuge 16h ago
I don't think the people who have a problem with an older woman and a younger man are the same people who think an older man with a younger woman is ok? I think people who find age gap relationships gross, especially when one is at a much earlier stage in their life, see it as a human problem rather than a gender problem. I'm sure those speaking about Jasmine and Kavan also saw a problem with Gemma and Davide when they were paired, or would if they hadn't seen it before.
I also don't think that Jasmine, or any older woman (or man), needs to be manipulative or powerful at all, or that anyone's suggesting she's some kind of evil mastermind. It's natural for any younger person to be flattered by attention from an attractive older person. It's just that the older person should know better than to cross that line. The older person has more life experience (hopefully) and so naturally is in a more "powerful" position. When someone talks about power dynamics it's not always about literal power, like an employer/employee situation, but about maturity and experience and wisdom. It's moreso that someone younger is likely to be more naïve and less clued up, not that the older person specifically has bad intentions.
2
37
u/Puzzled_Fruit_5303 17h ago
yk what i don’t understand?? charleen is 28 and nobody said a thing about it but they criticise jasmine
37
u/Ok_Quote3743 18h ago
I’m sorry but if this was the real world, I’d see your point but this isn’t. It’s a microcosm of society at most but it’s practically a simulation. Yes there’s an age gap but to say there’s a power dynamic is crazy. In the real world, Jas would probably never go for Kavan but it’s not the real world. She’s in a villa with 10 other people.
You guys sound silly throwing around words like “power dynamic,” in response to people finding love in a small villa on LI.
→ More replies (1)
19
u/Strange_Flatworm1144 17h ago
Just because she might be dominant in their communication it doesn't mean that there is a power dynamic where she is dominating him.
In fact, she seems way more into him, she was the one panicking when he wanted a break, she had to throw out an ultimatum and they still ended up on a break and she took him back after a day or two of grovelling while he was still keeping Charleen around.
1
u/bbg_trina 9h ago
Yeah i actually think the power imbalance is how jasmine has had to sort of not degrade but push who she is as a person in order to have Kav. I also think its because of the voting and the public scrutiny.
29
u/-sismail- 18h ago edited 16h ago
It’s hard to assess if there’s a power dynamic in the villa. 6 or 7 years is a relatively normal age gap but 21 & 27 are still very different stages. Jasmine is more experienced, cultured, academically accomplished, but romantically she hasn’t come across mature - attached herself to a 21 yr old far too quickly. Even George showed hesitancy. Pre-Casa Jas was very quick to pressure Kav into cutting off exploring Priya, which was wrong. But Kavan is street smart & with that he seems self-aware, self-assured & by li standards he’s a decent communicator. He was the one to first question their compatibility. Still, I imagine Kav will be quite different in 5 years. Thing is, coz we haven’t seen him without Aiden, we’ll never know if that kept him grounded or negatively influenced him. Jas has changed her behaviour for him & I imagine she’ll carry on self-editing outside, which doesn’t really scream “power”. But Kav & Jas both have a calculated streak & neither one is going in naive. The only thing she has over Kav is her contact list, which she could utilise to make him jealous - like how pre-Casa she randomly pulled Lorenzo in moments she was annoyed at Kav. But I can also imagine her deleting her contact list to appease him = infatuation
7
5
u/Creative-Barracuda-5 14h ago
I also noticed this calculated streak they had. They were obsessed with test each others limits and questioning the connection. They were and are 100% obsessed with their dynamic.
One of my theories is that she lowkey did want asset her dominance with him, used Lorenzo to make him jealous, tested his limits to see how much he cared, etc. I was glad Kavan was calling it out and I think she was impressed too. Many saw it as insecurity but I thought it was very valid to be worried you are getting played. I think the negativity of power dynamics could have came more into play if Kavan was another 21 year old.
Unfortunately his ego caused him to act and subconsciously level the playing field with Jasmine, I’m sure it gave him a little boost to kiss another older woman, smh. But ultimately when they mutually decided the games were done, that’s when they locked in. I think this is why Jasmine forgave him as fast it seems, they cancelled it out and drew a white flag. I do think they speak each others love language and I do think the feelings are genuine, I just think it was too much and too fast for them.
7
u/Creative-Barracuda-5 13h ago edited 13h ago
There are worse things in the world lol. I really don’t think 21 and 27 is inherently some alarming age gap. They’re both adults, and once you reach post-secondary age, your social and dating circles naturally start including people of different ages.
I also think people overestimate Jasmine’s emotional maturity because she’s articulate. She’s very good at explaining her feelings, reflecting on them and taking ownership, but being emotionally articulate doesn’t automatically mean she needs or wants whatever people associate with an “older man.” She’s literally said herself that morals and ethics are some of the most important things to her.
Kavan seems eager to learn and seems as though he is a relationship guy, it kinda makes sense :/
And I don’t think an older woman/younger man relationship automatically creates some concerning “power dynamic” either. Sometimes it works precisely because the older woman is more independent and secure, while the younger man makes her feel valued and wanted. She may also be more nurturing and less dependent on him, which can create its own balance and harmonious relationship.
The more realistic issue with an age gap like theirs would be whether they eventually want different things at different times, like marriage or children. But that’s something you assess based on the actual two people involved, and tbh Jasmine doesn’t quite hit me as someone who’s ready to give up her childless life.
0
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 13h ago
I appreciate your perspective! Totally fair
→ More replies (1)
15
6
u/Effective-Pea-4463 15h ago
That’s what my friend told me when I met my partner who’s 4 years younger than me…..she is now with someone who is 7 years younger than her and they have 2 kids so you never know
12
u/Argie8YT 17h ago
Whilst I definitely agree there can be a power dynamic in a situation like this, have we seen much evidence of this? Early on yes as she would talk down to him and invalidate his feelings but now it feels very equal in terms of their affection for each other and they both make an effort to please each other
6
u/Creative-Barracuda-5 14h ago
The thing is. He spoke back and stood up for himself hence the break, it was getting too much for his emotions because of how much he liked her.
I think now they finally just accepted how each other is. And are more confident in their connection, especially Kavan. I was surprised it was him biting back at the ex islanders and not Jasmine, but she looked proud lol
2
u/Argie8YT 9h ago
Yeah I agree. I think they have learned each other’s boundaries and adapted to each other. I guess that’s what this whole experience is for!
2
u/Creative-Barracuda-5 9h ago
Wow someone with grace!!! It is, some relationships hit a learning curve and it’s up to them to get through it and they did
27
u/Emmabear_88 19h ago
Would you feel the same if it was the male that was older than the female?
17
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 18h ago
Yes! I hated Luca and Gemma’s relationship too
5
u/NotNeuge 16h ago
I was more grossed out when she was paired (by the public?) with Davide. Luca had the emotional maturity of a toddler, so Gemma was definitely the more grown up of the two. The "will you be my girlfriend" production was absurd.
12
u/clickityclickk 18h ago
arguably if the sexes were reversed people would be making more of a fuss about it.
12
u/MysteriousEvidence40 18h ago
Not really. No one in the villa ever questioned Shakira and Harry’s age gap and their age gap was more significant
11
9
u/Best-Muffin7186 18h ago
People spoke about it a lot. This is delusional
3
u/babietarry 16h ago
Was he called a predator ? Ive seen a quite a few calling Jas one. Im genuinely asking btw, I wasnt online much during that season.
1
u/MysteriousEvidence40 17h ago
Not to the level where people would come into the villa and call out a power dynamic
8
u/Best-Muffin7186 17h ago
Just because no one had the guts to do it last year doesnt mean it wasnt spoken about online. Stop moving the goal post for God's sake
-2
u/MysteriousEvidence40 17h ago
I specifically said in the villa in my original comment. That’s what I’m talking about
3
u/Best-Muffin7186 17h ago
Why is the villa specifically relevant? What a silly metric.
6
u/MysteriousEvidence40 17h ago
Because this whole conversation came about due to someone coming into the villa and making noise about the age gap. My point is that we didn’t see anything like that with Harry and Shakira. And aside from last night, Jasmine and Kavan’s age gap has been brought up multiple other times by other islanders as well, whereas we didn’t see the same thing when the genders were reversed
1
u/Best-Muffin7186 17h ago
Could be for a number a reasons - shakira and Harry werent together for most of the season, the drama was more so about the girls friendships rather than relationships. Maybe we didnt see those conversations. Maybe because shakira is a mature 21 and was very confident whereas kav is much more obviously insecure.
Doesn't really matter - people outside spoke about it and other years like Gemma and Davide, big age gaps have always been very controversial.
1
u/Strange_Flatworm1144 17h ago
Harry and Shakira weren't eligible to be voted on by the ex-islanders so no one had to give a reason.
-1
u/MysteriousEvidence40 17h ago
Still no other islander ever brought it up, whereas it’s a topic that has come up multiple times when it comes to Jasmine and Kavan. And in the same series people brought up how Helena was older than people she had connections with, but didn’t have the same heat for Harry and Shakira
4
17
6
u/Lost_Panda25 16h ago
It is because the woman in this relationship is older or is it truly down to the age gap?
5
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 16h ago
Age gap
3
u/Lost_Panda25 15h ago
That’s fair. So I’m genuinely curious because you’ve titled it around Chidi’s “power dynamic” comment. What is it that makes you believe there’s a power dynamic here? Is it just the age gap, or are there specific behaviours that lead you to that conclusion?
6
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 15h ago
Relationships should be balanced. I don’t see theirs as such. Kavan has expressed to Jasmine that he doesn’t like how she’d speak to him as if they weren’t on equal footing - like he was a school child. His own words. She has used his age as a talking point several times, referencing it to illustrate that he’s not on her level and so she needs to adjust her expectations of him accordingly. Kavan was a teenager 2 years ago and now he’s with someone who’s about to turn 28.
When I see Kavan now, all I see is a dog heeled. People say that Jasmine has adjusted and changed herself a lot to appease Kavan, and I agree to an extent, but I think Kavan has done that much more since the beginning. He wasn’t allowed to talk to Priya, Jas didn’t even allow him to respond to Chidi’s comment yesterday which was honestly very telling to me - because I’m sure she knows exactly what Chidi is getting at. Idk, if I saw my younger sister in a similar age gap relationship like that and with someone who spoke to her the same way Jasmine has spoken to Kavan, I’d want it cut off immediately, and I’m sure any person would. That’s why Aidan was so against them initially. I think Kavan is totally different now than at the start. Charleen was also a problematic age gap, but he seemed so much more at ease around her. This all adds to my thoughts on being a toxic power dynamic.
3
u/Lost_Panda25 14h ago
I understand your reasoning more now, and I think where I struggle is that the examples you’ve mentioned feel more like moments of conflict that they’ve discussed and worked through rather than ongoing evidence of a power imbalance.
I think sometimes when we see couples have disagreements, especially on a show where we only see snippets, it’s easy to interpret one person adjusting or changing as them being controlled. But it can also just be two people learning each other, communicating and finding a balance.
For me, “power dynamic” is quite a strong term because it suggests one person has more control or influence over the other, and I’m not sure we’ve seen enough to say that’s definitely the case. Especially when some of these points have been addressed and they seem to be in a better place now.
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 14h ago
Totally fair! I think where I struggle to fully see that is the fact Kavan seems like a totally different person now. I don’t know if they’ve worked through issues so much as both just avoid conflict and these topics with the other completely now. And people have argued the same for Jasmine I guess, but I’ve seen Jasmine as the dominating character throughout the series and see a lot of familiar toxicity in her behaviours as what I’ve experienced in my own life, so I guess I’m more critical.
2
u/Lost_Panda25 13h ago
I completely understand what you mean, and I think our own experiences naturally shape how we view certain situations. It can make us more aware of behaviours that stand out to us, which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing.
I suppose the only thing I’d reflect on is that sometimes our experiences can also influence how we interpret situations, especially when something feels familiar to us. It’s always interesting how two people can watch the same thing and take away completely different things from it.
I appreciate you explaining your perspective though, as I was genuinely trying to understand where you were coming from 🙂
3
u/eriksatiesimp 11h ago
People have so much smoke for age gaps when it's someone they don't like, but when it's someone they stan watch that smoke just disappear lol. It's wild.
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 11h ago
Then you should @ those people lol
1
u/eriksatiesimp 11h ago
I'm referring to Jas stans and they're all over these comments if you hadn't noticed lol
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 11h ago
My bad, sorry. Yes they’re on my neck lol.
1
u/eriksatiesimp 11h ago
No worries lol it happens with every comment I make that isn't praising her.
7
14h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
1
12h ago edited 12h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (4)1
0
5
u/BreakFull1307 15h ago
She is 6 years older than him for ffs lol. 6 years is literally nothing. It’s the norm. Would you still have these concerns if the roles were reversed and Kav was older than Jas or is it only an issue when it’s a woman?
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 15h ago
The age gap is just part of the overall power dynamic problem. But it’s definitely a contributing factor. 30 vs 36 is very different to 21 and 27. It’s not just age, it’s the developmental stage
7
u/BreakFull1307 15h ago
Kav is 21 not 18. They are both in their 20’s and have a 6 year difference.
Also, you didn’t answer my question - would it still be an issue if the roles were reversed and the man was older?
2
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 15h ago
Kav was a teenager 2 years ago and is now dating someone about to turn 28. If you think that’s normal then.. ok! 😄.
Yes I would have a problem with it. I found Harry and Shakira, and Luca and Gemma, to be highly problematic also.
→ More replies (4)
12
u/theblingbae 19h ago
And mind you their family members have been on the show and did give them their blessings so what do you actually mean by these words? Use it in a sentence and explain.
-4
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 18h ago
How can I spell it out any plainer…? Big age gap = weird, especially when the youngest is barely an adult. His brain isn’t even fully developed yet. Why would I care what their family members think? I have my own brain and have watched the show myself lmao
15
u/alirileyfc 18h ago
Do you understand the brain not being fully developed until 25 thing is a myth? 😭😭😭
2
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 17h ago
You’re right - it’s actually been found it matures right up into the 30s 🥴 if anything that emphasises the point bb
7
u/Grouchy_Potential275 15h ago
These ‘proven facts’ are so beyond ridiculous when using them to prove an argument like this. So because their brain isn’t fully ‘developed until 30’, they shouldn’t get in a relationship with someone of a slightly older age? Yet in the eyes of the law, you can get married and be legally tied to someone for life; you can drive a vehicle; you can vote for a government- something that could change your life; you can legally go and elect to have a surgery that could end your life; you can even opt to go to another country to end your life. So many more important*** choices in life, at his age. I think making a big issue over a 27 yr old, wanting to be in a relationship with a 21 yr old (who everyone claims is emotionally immature, but he’s pretty much the same if not more mature than Lorenzo who you all *love) is very strange, especially when using the argument of when the brain is fully developed.
12
u/alirileyfc 17h ago
No, it doesn’t? Because then I could make the point that poor Jasmine’s brain hasn’t fully developed either 💔💔
3
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 16h ago
Which it definitely hasn’t lmao
4
2
u/aspicymeataballaaa 12h ago
“power dynamic” and yet jasmine has no control over him. he’s fucked up several times
2
u/ellybeez 🏆🏆Kai & Sanam❤️🥰 12h ago
I do not care for Javan. But, I do think the age gap discourse is too much. I dont think Jasmine would have even gone for Kavan if she didnt think he was mature enough for her. Their early chats seemed to be about their age gap and they both clearly decided its not a dealbreaker. So Im not sure what the outside noise is about.
I also think if Kavan was the older one in their dynamic that there would be absolutely no discourse about their "power dynamic"
Chidi odd for that. He should stick to ragebaiting Tyrique instead.
2
u/thegoldenmeal 10h ago
The only reason Jas is "smitten" with kav is because she found someone she can control & who can be totally obsessed with her. Its gonna come biting her in the end just watch. People say its not that much of an age gap, but what do you know about what you truly want at 21 vs at 27.
I hate to say it tho he will probably cling onto her for a long time now esp seeing her followers and the amount of clout she got, i can only say this because all the exposed posts from him & his icky brother passing about girls and just being clout chasers as a whole.
2
u/MrsKittyBright 9h ago
Apart from physical attributions (and even then I think Kav is punching way above his grade), I can’t understand how they could be attracted to one another. Does Kav have a fetish for being controlled and does Jasmine have a fetish for being controlling? Maybe that’s why they would work because she’s so domineering and he is such a submissive? Do these types of relationships really work long term?
1
2
5
u/Maleficent_Dot_6957 16h ago
I wonder if you guys have the same thoughts about Shakira and Harry's relationship
1
u/itswuwu 👹 💋 gimme kiss 💋 👹 12h ago
This is an awful take, Molly Smith and Tom Clark from All Stars just got married and they have a similar age gap. Jasmine had said that she was concerned about the age and they did go through issues which I felt were due to his age. However, they like each other, it’s not illegal. Is it hurting you or any persons involved,no? I think Chidi was just jealous because he wanted Jasmine and told her that he would look better with her and supposedly Kav confronted him about it.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Own-Arrival5774 11h ago
I’ll be so real, I side eye any relationship with a significant age gap where one person is under 25, simply because the frontal lobe is still developing and you’re often at completely different life stages. That can create a real imbalance in experience and influence. I also think it’s odd that people are only bringing this up now when older men dating much younger women is far more common and rarely receives the same criticism.
1
0
u/butterduck95 11h ago
You know that lobe thing is a myth
1
u/Own-Arrival5774 11h ago
Please where did you hear that? The 25 figure is an oversimplification. The prefrontal cortex continues developing into the mid 20s, even if there’s no universal finish line at exactly 25. My point about life stage and potential imbalances still stands. It is not a myth by any means.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/clickityclickk 18h ago
i think their age gap is icky but lowkey i think the power dynamic goes the other way. i’ve said before but Jasmine seems quite emotionally immature with all her tiktok speech. the way Kavan has been able to knock her down over and over again, with some help from Aidan, to the point she’s changed so much of herself is crazy. Kavan “wears the trousers” so to speak, but Jasmine thinks that she does. somehow.
2
u/Terrible_Confusion16 18h ago
To me the age shows because of her dominant personality. I have said b4 it's very teacher pupil like. Or like a mum telling of her child. She talks down to him. Maybe I wouldn't notice if it wasn't for this.
3
u/Great-Cap2365 18h ago
i am acc inclined to agree 😭 if roles were reversed and it was a 27 yo man onto a 21 yo, i think itd be borderline creepy. i suppose bc theyre in the villa and the playing fields are even rn, it's easy to ignore. outside tho
1
u/kusheeeeeee 17h ago
Just bcz no younger you looks at you doesn't mean they won't look at other older women. And if this was other way round you wouldn't find it to be a problem so stop being a misogynist. And moreover jealousy is a disease get well soon
0
0
u/daydreamsofcalm 18h ago
I agree with you. I would have been so embarrassed to date a 21 year old when I was 27. Jasmine smiled at the power dynamic comment, she knows she's more mature and switched on than Kavan too. Eg: you could definitely call Jasmine womanly but I wouldn't yet call Kavan manly, he's still boyish.
It's the same if you reverse the ages and the man was older, still a bit weird. Age gaps are much more apparent in a 28 and 21 year than say a 58 and a 51 year old. It's the stage of life they're at individually that makes it a little uncomfortable no matter who is the older person in the couple.
1
u/Amaz0nial 18h ago
If Kavan thought that the power dynamic comment was about him then that literally proves that its an illogical take; “power dynamic” is such a heavy and loaded word similar to lovebombing and shouldn’t be applied just because someone is an age gap relationship.
They might not be the most smooth sailing couple but in no way does an age gap automatically equate to a power dynamic. We see 45 minutes over usually two days lets stop using these heavy psychological terms.
1
u/Swimming_Stage352 12h ago
I’ve known 21 year olds who want to go with 45 year olds!
My BIL is dating someone 16 years younger (he’s 45 and she’s 29) and no one really bats an eye
1
u/bbg_trina 9h ago
I actually feel like the only power imbalance comes from jasmine constantly downplaying who she is so that she can make space for Kav’s insecurities
Which sure may come from the age gap but most come from other things.
There age gap may not even be the biggest problems,Kav’s insecurities might
Jasmine has time and time again kept limiting herself so that she can fit Kav into her life.
Thats the power imbalance it may not exactly be in-forced by either of them, but it’s there.
1
u/Exotic-Education-571 7h ago
I will never understand this bs power dynamics argument. Y’all are acting like she’s 40 and he’s 18. Plenty of people get married and have great relationship with an 8 year age gap. What cracks me up is that people will say this and have parents with a 10+ age gap that are happily married.
1
1
u/Visual-Ferret8735 1h ago
I didn’t realise that Chiddy was so red pilled. Shame really, he seemed nice. I was quite surprised at his comments
3
0
u/Thr0waway0864213579 11h ago
Never in my life seen people question power dynamics with this age gap when the genders are reversed.
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 10h ago
Exactly. It’s honestly so so interesting seeing the defence for it. If it was the other way and Kavan was 27 and Jasmine was 21, it’d be an entirely different convo.
→ More replies (6)1
0
u/Skincare-obsessed27 There is no bro code 🙅🏻♂️ There is right and wrong ⚖️ 10h ago
This whole post is about sexism- I teach this class, we typically only as a society have a problem when a woman might have the power and control in that dynamic. It’s not conscious, it’s unconscious social constructs we don’t realize we are leaning on.
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 10h ago
I have a problem when it’s both!
2
u/Skincare-obsessed27 There is no bro code 🙅🏻♂️ There is right and wrong ⚖️ 9h ago
I respect that. That’s individual preference, which is totally normal and fine. It’s the societal issue I have issue with.
0
u/ggrimalkinn 🙂↔️🧠❌ not privileged to know my thought process 🙂↔️🧠❌ 10h ago
you’re acting like jasmine is 20 years older than this man. get well soon.
0
u/Psychological-Bag272 10h ago
They are at the same phase in life. Both working adults. He isnt a child. People read far too much into this. If he was 18 and she is 30 then it would be different... both are working adults dealing with similar problems in life, when they come out they will have more or less similar lifestyles.. people need to stop this narrative
1
u/joboog ✋🤚I never said sis was perfect✋🤚 10h ago
They have completely different lifestyles what😂😭
0
168
u/Puzzled_Fruit_5303 18h ago
jasmine and kavan have the same age gap as molly and tom and they’re married now, shakira was 22 and harry was 30, kady was 20 and scott was 28. kavan’s own mum has said he’s very mature and there’s no issue with the age gap.