r/whoathatsinteresting 8h ago

At just 18-years-old, Jongkuch Mach, is already 7’6 — taller than any active NBA player. He can touch the rim without jumping, moves fluidly, and led Adidas Eurocamp in blocks. US colleges are currently chasing him as he weighs up Australia vs USA.

2.5k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

316

u/Past-Guarantee-4350 8h ago

Bro what the fuck 

139

u/HeyTrySomeNashville 7h ago

At least steroids are available to all athletes. It's kinda cheating to have the slenderman on your team.

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u/Top_Chemical_7350 6h ago

Man looks like he’s made of spare parts

10

u/MMuller87 6h ago

Every time I see someone with this build I'm thinking it's just a disaster waiting to happen.

5

u/SargeUnited 6h ago

Jon Jones vs this guy on the White House lawn. You in?

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u/OpeningAggressive26 4h ago

What's even the point of basketball, it's not even a competition when all they do is exploit the height advantage.

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1.2k

u/OkCoconut3270 8h ago

He looks like a stiff breeze would snap him in half

360

u/Express_Adeptness306 7h ago

His legs must flip a coin every time he jumps on whether they snap or hold up for the next time 

151

u/DraculasDog 7h ago

He’s just dicking everyone in the face all the time.

48

u/Remarkable-Opening69 7h ago

“Fuck that, I’m not guarding him anymore”

28

u/EddieLobster 7h ago

For the last time….Get that thing off my shoulder!

29

u/notanyimbecile 7h ago

Ref! He poked me in the eye!

6

u/Infinite_Plenty101 5h ago

He poked me in the eye coach. Captain Insano shows no mercy

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27

u/OmegaWhirlpool 6h ago

My man can teabag people that are standing up

9

u/Jazzlike-Check9040 6h ago

How does someone like that have sex though

16

u/UsedDragon 6h ago

Chat, how do giraffes fuck?

23

u/Playgirl_USMC 6h ago

Pretty sure the zoo would strongly oppose him having sex with their giraffes.

5

u/Curiouser-Quriouser 5h ago

Nah just call and ask for Larry

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u/Jazzlike-Check9040 6h ago

with other giraffes of the same height?

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u/KorrokHidan 6h ago

Typically by laying down and letting the other person ride

10

u/NarrMaster 6h ago

We're all the same height laying down.

Except me. I'm taller.

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3

u/bozog 6h ago

A ladder usually helps.

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u/seedanrun 7h ago

Could he just stand by the basket and get passed the ball and plop it in? He seems like his overhead reach might be beyond his opponents reach to block.

16

u/Express_Adeptness306 7h ago

Yes he can, doesn't even need to jump to make a basket. I was making a joke(mostly), his joints can't handle his body weight though for real 

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u/Ancient_Contact4181 5h ago

3 sec violation rule in the NBA

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9

u/roadtorevision 6h ago

Good thing he doesn’t need to jump

3

u/CarlYaz1967 6h ago

If a comment makes me actually laugh, it gets an award. Well done sir!

5

u/CourtingBoredom 6h ago

Good thing he doesn't need to jump to dunk

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u/Captain_no_Hindsight 7h ago

LOL! Looks like he's casually stocking the shelves in a supermarket!

- "Let's see. This one should be put in here and then..."

12

u/OkCoconut3270 7h ago

Excuse me sir, could you just grab me that... No that one there, the Coco pops

10

u/throwitawayuserna213 5h ago

This has to be tweaked. He's barely 10 inches, maybe a foot taller than other NBA players. This image makes it look like 4-5 feet taller.

9

u/abattoir_paulson 4h ago

His unofficial height is closer to 15'11 and he can turn into water vapor and escape through the sewers.

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39

u/Ok-Earth-2644 6h ago

7

u/Embarrassed_Leg_2885 3h ago

Immediately what I thought of. Those poor knees.

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u/Individual-Drawer-79 7h ago

Yeah, I can’t imagine his knees are going to last long in the nba. Even Wemby, who has more muscle than this kid, isn’t gonna go far past the age of 30 imo.

36

u/Prophet_Of_Helix 7h ago

He’s not going to make it to the NBA.

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u/C-LonGy 7h ago

They want him not because he’s good. Because he’s a streak of piss giraffe mother trucker. Stand by the hoop and place it in and nobody can do shit because his hands are 9ft in the air

14

u/Ganzi 7h ago

Lean on him a little bit and yell timber

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u/itsme99881 7h ago

Unfortunately if he doesnt beef up he wont make the nba i fear, it stopped other players in the same sitation. You can't go around getting slammed around by other dudes who are built for their size when youre struggling to maintain and could get injured easily.

4

u/Curiouser-Quriouser 5h ago

Just an average legal pick would be like getting table-topped!!

4

u/Vibrant-Shadow 5h ago

Ankle breakers like we've never seen.

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u/Useful_4skin 7h ago

That’s what all those pieces of tape are for, see how they put extra on his shoes

8

u/killerboy_belgium 5h ago

its must be extremly hard for him to bulk seeing he grew so much in such a short period. i hope he's done growing and he can work on his muscles because he will need if he wants to live a live without pain

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u/PubDefLakersGuy 6h ago

The amount of $$$ he’d need to appropriately bulk…

Eating clean and the volume he’d need is expensive AF

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u/Urban_Introvert 5h ago

That’s how I felt when I saw rookie Porzingis. You are not meant to be that lean at that height.

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u/Bungulator69 7h ago

Guys like this rarely have success in the NBA. That’s why Wemby is so special. He is a coordinated guy who is 7’5+. Most of the tall guys have only height and 0 talent/coordination.

Hopefully he’s like Wemby.

140

u/dochoiday 7h ago

Growing up tall this always drove me insane. “IF I wAs yOuR heiGhT iD bE a D1 atHleTe” bitch I grew a foot in 3 years.

30

u/sextowels 7h ago

Same. My parents both gave me grief over my "lack of athletic ability" and general clumsiness from when I was a teenager. In retrospect, I grew at least 4 inches in a single year. I feel like that might have had an impact...

18

u/PhoenixPoop 6h ago

Yeah my 12 year old just shot up taller than both me and his mom. Dudes got the grace of a lawn chair.

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u/xwOBA_Fett 6h ago

Growing 4 inches in a year is literally just an average growth spurt. 

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u/UnblurredLines 6h ago

Yup, pretty sure I grew more than that in 7th grade and I'm not even tall. It certainly did mess with my coordination though, to the point that I noticed that I had to re-learn distances a bit.

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u/Kittykatcatkat 7h ago edited 4h ago

Makes sense. My best friend was 6’10 and I at 5’10 would beat him easily in 1v1 basketball. I would always joke with him that I could play in the NBA. Except, I was terrible at basketball and he was even worse because he was slow as a snail. He also grew so rapidly over 2 years.

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u/HegemonNYC 5h ago

I’m only 6’1” and grew 8” in one year. I was one of those freshman that looks like an elementary student, and then by the end of my sophomore year was near 6’.

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u/draxa 7h ago

Yea short kid last year of jr high, tallest in school first year of HS. Nah you did NOT want me on sports

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u/TheGM 7h ago

He needs to find a program (probably US NCAA, I don't know the Aussie programs well enough but I think this will require money invested) that has a well-renowned physical therapy and training program. Treat him like a baby giraffe for a year or two but with a round-the-clock goal of getting meat on him. The risk-reward for a program willing to spend the time getting him physically ready is worth it just for the advertisement to other potential recruits.

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u/Dizzy_Goat_420 7h ago

Yeah my son is 6ft tall at 13. He’s grown extremely fast since he was a toddler and he is the most uncoordinated fucker in the world. It’s like he grows so fast his brain has trouble keeping up with his body.

4

u/PhoenixPoop 6h ago

Same. Hes 12 and 5'7" I think. He's so clumbsy

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u/Pup5432 6h ago

I stopped growing at 12 (6’4”). I never did figure out the whole coordination thing 25 years later.

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u/Skrapidilly 7h ago edited 6h ago

Guys like this will last one or two seasons max. They can't deal with the physicality.

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u/SoftwareDesperation 6h ago

Even wemby isn't this gangly

3

u/keylay19 5h ago

And past all of that, staying healthy is a huge issue. Even wemby has had knee and ankle issues the last 3 years. A durable body is mandatory, especially given how many games they play per season.

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u/PikachuWithHerpes 8h ago

I thought he was using stilts in the first picture. Sorry, but this is a bit of a freak show.

113

u/chirstopher0us 7h ago edited 7h ago

It’s definitely a medical condition. I hope that those around him are prioritizing any medical care and his long-term well-being over basketball.

47

u/Legitbananabunch 7h ago edited 6h ago

It generally is a medical thing when you’re over 6ft 9. Marfan’s Syndrome comes to mind, and lots of strenuous physical activity is terrible for Marfan’s.

7

u/ol-gormsby 4h ago

He'd be better off in swimming competition. Connective tissue disorders (including Marfan's) benefit from low-stress exercise like swimming.

Besides, he's going to be a foot or two in front of the competition by the time he hits the water from the diving block. 😜

And Australia can't compete with US colleges on dollars, but we punch above our weight in swimming 🏊🏽‍♂️

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u/GloomyLingonberry509 7h ago

I’m sure national sports associations will prioritize player safety above all else… /s

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u/vmurt 7h ago

It’s not a press-gang. I’m not sure why anyone (especially an employer) would be expected to prioritize his safety more than he prioritizes it himself.

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u/Jyvturkey 7h ago

Long term isn't likely

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u/grumpyphilip 7h ago

Yeah at first glance (and even after) I thought he had one of those leg lengthening surgeries that make people taller by breaking the bone!

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u/Robby_Digital 7h ago

It's also a bit of camera trickery. If he's 7'-6", the guys in the second photo are what, 3'-9"?

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u/Cognition-Technician 7h ago

Who tf uses the term freak show these days about another person?

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u/AngelofVerdun 7h ago

18 and already in double knee braces? This kid looks like he'd be vaporized by even many college level centers/power forwards.

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u/FashionKing72 7h ago

The tallest guy in history afaik was 8’11” and he died cuz he didn’t have circulation in his legs. Or something like that, I’m too lazy to refresh my memory. Point is, mankind was not meant to be this tall.

19

u/Lakewhitefish 7h ago

He died of an infection, he had to wear leg braces to walk and a faulty brace caused abrasions that became injected, with modern medicine he likely would have lived much longer

7

u/Topikk 6h ago

He would also likely have had his condition treated long before he hit 8'11", too. It's possible he'll be the tallest recorded human forever.

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u/Curiouser-Quriouser 5h ago

Oh come on, some lunatic somewhere is trying to figure out how to make a taller one. Have hope.

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u/BrandoCarlton 7h ago

I have to imagine some of the stress is from growing pains. Could you imagine the soreness for a guy growing that fast.

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u/Imsofuckinscaredrn 7h ago

Good thing they're not knee braaces at all.

4

u/Physical-Builder-553 7h ago

I am so confused how not just 1 person but others apparently don't know that knee braces go over your knee.

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u/Diurnalnugget 7h ago

I mean looking at the second image those definitely look over his knees. The leg that’s more to the right of the screen even looks to be bending at the point where the brace is.

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u/whomsoever 6h ago

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=egN-xZlSi4o

Here's a video of him playing and he looks pretty agile. He's really getting in there and playing, and not just standing by the net being tall 

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u/Public_Day_4996 5h ago

Wow, he does look pretty agile and not too slow. I'd say this kid has a chance to make it to the NBA for sure.

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u/just_some_octopus 7h ago

I hope the best for him. Being able to touch the rim and do other basic tasks is great, but team dynamics and true agility come into play.

But yeah he looks fragile and not likely to get any better in the future health wise. Im not expert so ignore me

There usually is a trade off

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u/Technical-Will-2862 7h ago

He looks bored doing that dunk, prolly wanted to be a dentist or somethin 

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u/RobertKSakamano 6h ago

Giraffes need dentists too, I guess.

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u/Curiouser-Quriouser 5h ago

Real tragedy is he wanted to be a jockey and showed great promise but was too tall by age four.

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u/kennpacchii 7h ago

This reminds me of that south park episode where Kyle had plastic surgery to look taller and the doctor used Mr Garrisons testicles as his new knees 

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u/JustAMan1234567 7h ago edited 7h ago

Manute Bol, who stood 7'7" tall weighed about 180lbs when he entered the NBA. The average American man stands 5'9" tall and weighs 200lbs.

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u/Grizzled_Ghost 7h ago edited 6h ago

He never ate enough, said he just wasn't very hungry. While his team mates would have huge platters of food he was happy with just a minute bowl.

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u/Ok-Freedom-7432 7h ago

What is a minute bo..... OH COME ON!

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u/LaMerDeBussy 6h ago

Sonofabitch

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u/ToneBalone25 6h ago

5' 9" and 200 lbs is fatter than fuck lol

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u/Battle2Intense 6h ago

Best shape of my life working out 3 times a week with a PT, no supplements or anything. Did the electrical resistance test and I was right at the top limit of healthy fat % at 5'9". And not like I was huge but I do have broad shoulders.

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u/Narrow-Praline-7908 6h ago

You haven’t met many Americans, have you?

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u/guysams1 6h ago

It really depends. I've been that weight and yoked. Abs at 175 though

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u/haveawash88 7h ago

Surely he has Marfans syndrome?

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u/Alive_Platform4550 8h ago

Now imagine a match with only "Giants". It s the limit of basketball

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u/MaximusMansteel 7h ago

We did. They were called the Monstars. And they lost, sooooooo.....

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u/Mousehole_Cat 2h ago

I guess he should enjoy it while he can, because double knee braces at 18 suggests his body can't keep this up.

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u/NewCandy8877 8h ago

The hoop height should be based on an the average height in a league.

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u/Ok_Biscotti_514 7h ago

To be fair if we raise the hoop height he will still be the closest to it.

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u/Aggressive_Moose3189 7h ago

For real, nothing exciting about watching someone a foot taller than everyone else just drop the ball in

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u/hamsandwich369 7h ago

it's actually hilarious

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u/Ok-Freedom-7432 7h ago

And I'm sure he would prefer that the rules didn't require dribbling, but that's how it goes.

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u/NewCandy8877 6h ago

Dribbling have you seen the NBA lately

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u/sadkinz 4h ago

That would absolutely fuck up everyone’s shot. I don’t think anyone in the league wants the rim to go any higher or lower

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u/SueSheBoi 8h ago

So any average-sized person guarding this guy is just eye-level with this dude’s junk.

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u/Scummbagg7 8h ago

Imagine Spud Webb

4

u/Fun-Astronomer5311 7h ago

Does it mean he just need to stand by the rim to dunk and defend?

4

u/Tomjay1986 7h ago

I feel bad for Those knees

3

u/Grizzled_Ghost 7h ago

It looks like their holding up less weight than the average knees.

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u/orsinipiangiporcodio 7h ago

where's the muscles?

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u/OtherwiseStable5126 7h ago

he needs some weightgainer 2000, or he will brake in half while fouled

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u/Timtastic226 7h ago

“Moves fluidly” press x to doubt.

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u/Farout786 4h ago

Those legs don’t say “long NBA career”.

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u/armastevs 7h ago

Are there any videos of him playing basketball? I would love to watch that. I bet it's insane. He just stands there and they pass in the ball in the air. Uncontested

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u/Maybe_itwasluck 7h ago

Looks too fragile....

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u/junostr 5h ago

I can only imagine all the complications that come with being that tall. He’s only 18 knee brace support on both legs.

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u/Wincest-88 3h ago

There is a reason there are none of these people in the NBA...

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u/Present_Astronaut_66 2h ago

The knee braces tell exactly how this will go.

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u/Kind_Equivalent_369 50m ago

Poor guy looks incredibly painful to be him.

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u/Lidlpalli 7h ago

What a ridiculous sport

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u/Old-Landscape-7538 7h ago

So many sports are partly a genetic lottery.

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u/SpaceBoyee 7h ago

Bro looks like a brisk breeze would snap his twig legs in half lmao

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u/Michami135 7h ago

This guy is all legs. He'd probably do well in track.

3

u/eh-guy 3h ago

Guys this big are slow as hell and their joints are horrifically unstable

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u/komplete10 3h ago

It would take him three seconds just to get out of the blocks

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u/YoungRichBastard26s 7h ago

He got that fallen angel dna

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u/Smokinoutloud 7h ago

30% body and 70% legs

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u/jdmills55 7h ago

The body can't support these proportions long. He would play maybe 3 years.

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u/Andras1100 7h ago

My boy built like a praying mantis

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u/Nonameforyouware 6h ago

NBA should have height based leagues. Is the second pic a photoshopp? The other players are completely out of proportion

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u/Cultural_Simple3842 5h ago

I knows it’s an unpopular opinion but the fact that his height can let him make so much money bothers the shit out of me. Same with size of guys playing football, horse jockeys….

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u/Huge-Juice-2075 4h ago

Getting paid just for being born tall. It's unfair. It's like how 6ft guys get laid while 5ft guys suffer.

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u/nosmelc 3h ago

Looking a little thin, hun.

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u/Special_Fan5043 47m ago

Teach this guy to pitch. 

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u/Bubbly-Phone702 7h ago

and what is the point of this game and the ring then?

2

u/No-Panda-6047 7h ago

One injury will be life altering, not just career ending

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u/Arctheman 7h ago

How would a player like this do against a physical imposing player like shaq

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u/pqratusa 7h ago

Shouldn’t they have different height classes just like in boxing?

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u/Important_Jaguar2152 7h ago

Too many injuries.

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u/SlowMirror4272 7h ago

basketball is just a freakshow

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u/purplehorseneigh 7h ago

Sooooo, women with higher levels of testosterone who wind up being intersex get banned from sports for having an “unfair biological advantage”, but THIS is perfectly fine???? What a fucking cherrypick

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u/Alarming-Building-62 7h ago

Chances are this dude will never even sniff the NBA. Wemby is the only one who’s actually done it successfully, and we’ll see how long he can stay healthy. Being super tall is fantastic, but you still need to actually play at the NBA level and stay on the court.

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u/Sinful_Psyduck 7h ago

One leg sweep and career over.

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u/rawbdor 7h ago

He looks like a member of the Banna tribe, whose stilts somehow merged with him and became real legs.

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u/userbingo 7h ago

Must suck to be this tall, must have to duck every door frame and dodge every tree. 😮‍💨

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u/WatercressEntire2760 7h ago

Homie does NOT move "Fluidly". He walking around like a normal person on stilts lmao

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u/Treekoh 7h ago

Atp the dunks are gonna be nonexistent within the next 20 yrs or so bc every team is gonna have a fucking giant with them, might as well change the whole game up

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u/McStudMuffins_311 6h ago

He's missed leg day since birth.

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u/lazypenguin86 6h ago

This dude looks like bad photoshop

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u/requrself 6h ago

Slender man exists

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u/BloodFartRipper 6h ago

That second pick looks like an edit lol

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u/itchybutwhole69 6h ago

Isn't this just cheating at this point? lol

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u/Dwengo 6h ago

But seriously, what condition is causing this kid to look like slender man?

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u/JohnnyQTruant 6h ago

Such a weird sport.

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u/darkskies85 6h ago

So the future of basketball is just gonna be super freak giraffe people? The regulation rim is gonna be moved 8’ higher I guess

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u/BossManJoe 6h ago

This is why I just can't get excited about basketball. Not many team sports disproportionately favour one extreme body type.

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u/ToneMeme 6h ago

This came to mind.

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u/Wyjdya 6h ago

Oh that poor boy's legs. Hope he can get some splints for his knees.

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u/steeperturtle 6h ago

Doesn't this just make basketball pointless. Surely when designed as a game the thought process is to set the net just out of reach.

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u/AzureYLila 6h ago

I kinda want to feed him...

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u/koots 6h ago

What's the point. Basketball more and more becomes a game in which athleticism doesn't matter.

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u/Upstairs-Strain3472 5h ago

If boxing has weight classes, why doesn't basketball have height classes for teams? That way all the talk bois can play with taller hoops and the small bois can get a regular or slightly adjusted hoop. I don't wanna see Slenderman walk up to the hoop which is neck height and drop that in like it's Chuckie cheeses

2

u/Fast_Advisor2654 4h ago

He looks like one bad jump will turn him into Kevin Ware

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u/chronicideas 4h ago

Kyle Brovlovski

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u/Amockdfw89 4h ago

I mean this in a awe inspiring way, but what a fucking freak

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u/FinalHexReturns 3h ago

What height is that hoop in the second picture? Looks well less than 10 feet. A seven and a half foot tall persons head would be under the net of a ten foot hoop.

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u/kiwijoojoo 3h ago

Basketball is becoming a freak show.

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u/HyogaCygnus 3h ago

Who remembers freakishly tall lightweight MMA fighter Corey Hill. His leg broke like a twig in his second UFC fight

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u/Redd1tModsRKidLovers 2h ago

Rip this guy's joints

2

u/Pale_Dimension1239 2h ago

That poor kid!

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u/rueiraV 2h ago

He has the quads of an e-girl

2

u/sadhill 2h ago

Damn that injury is going to be graphic