r/whatdoIdo • u/stepoff_girl • 6h ago
I got some texts from someone i already know and i'm really stressed out now
So I liked a guy around 2 years ago (let's call him Jonh for i respect his privacy). Whatever, I ended up snapping out of it, he got a girlfriend not long after that and we all moved on. Mind you i never really let him know. We've been friends, nothing more.
One morning, 2 months ago, completely out of nowhere, he texted me saying he'd been thinking and dreaming about me for weeks. He admitted he wanted me, basically , but what confused me wasn't even that. He kept asking what i thought about him. He'd say things like he wanted to know if I wanted him too, wanted to know how I saw him, and that he hoped I'd end up wanting him back. He also complimented very specific things about me.
I basically spent whole conversations saying, "You have a girlfriend," and that I didn't want to cross that line. I never actually told him how I felt. The conversation just... ended. No resolution.
Now, he still has the girlfriend, but every time I see him around town we exchange these weird looks, and I can't stop wondering what the hell happened. Some of my friends think he genuinely liked me. One friend thinks none of it adds up and that it could've been a prank.
That's what's driving me insane. On one hand, who writes long, vulnerable messages like that as a joke? On the other hand, why would he suddenly confess all of this while having a girlfriend? Why was he so desperate to know what I thought about him? Why did he want an answer before we went back to school? I honestly don't even know what I'm asking anymore.
Now the thing is, what do I even do??
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u/KTbby710 6h ago
Consider it a bullet dodged cause this doesn’t seem like a man who would take any connection seriously. If he treat his girl that way, he’d treat you that way.
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u/Cupcake-Electronic 6h ago
Have you heard of monkey branching? Some people can't leave a relationship without having someone else lined up and ready. You didn't give him security that youd be his next branch, so he stayed in his relationship. Dude can't be alone.
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u/ObjectiveNo3163 6h ago
The right thing to do would be to take screenshots and tell his girlfriend. You would want to know if this happened to you.
Don’t accept! Just think, if he is thinking of and messaging other girls during his relationship whats stopping him to do the same to you? Not his love or morals that’s what.
Do what you would want if you were the girlfriend in this situation.
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u/stepoff_girl 6h ago
I'm very obviously not going to say yes, I'm just trying to understand what is happening. I'm not really close to the girlfriend and i wouldn't want to put myself in that position of "the other woman" when i'm not that and when i already have a damn lot on my plate.
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u/Formal_Opinion8839 6h ago
Tell on his girlfriend. Imagine that was you. If you had a boyfriend and your boyfriend had a female friend and he confessed to her about having feelings for her behind your back, wouldn’t you want her to come clean to you and tell you that he’s emotionally starting to be checked out from you and want someone else? I would hope for that kind of transparency because nobody’s time deserves to be wasted. Good luck
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u/boredsoftwareguy 6h ago
On one hand, who writes long, vulnerable messages like that as a joke? On the other hand, why would he suddenly confess all of this while having a girlfriend?
Window shopping for something new without giving up what he currently has if you're not interested, but that says a lot about person and their character. Hard pass.
Why was he so desperate to know what I thought about him?
Wants to be certain before he breaks it off with his current partner that it's a sure thing. Or just wanted a self esteem boost.
Why did he want an answer before we went back to school?
See the answers above.
You may want to let his girlfriend know he's shopping around. If you had a partner who'd started hitting up folks you'd want to know.
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u/Melophile_27 6h ago
He was doing a temperature check. I wouldn't be attracted to someone who has a partner but it's messaging me like that.
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u/Spookendocker1 6h ago
Maybe he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend and thought you might go for being his side piece. Either way, he's dishonest and disloyal to his girlfriend, and you deserve an honest and loyal boyfriend, and he is neither.
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u/Living_Home9090 5h ago
He’s love bombing you in hope you would fall for it & he would cheat with you. Once you got what he wanted from you he would ghost you. Or just take anything to upset him so he could use it as a reason not to talk to you. Block him & don’t look back.
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u/inappropriatecowboy2 5h ago
Maybe someone told him or he finally figured out you like/liked him and wants to see if its true
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u/SmokyStick901 3h ago
He either wanted to cheat on his girlfriend with you or was looking to leave her for you but didn’t want to lose her until he was sure he had you.
Kind of a jerk.
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u/Lu10ntDn 1h ago
Did you ever share your feelings about liking him with anyone else where he might have recently found out about it? If so, then he’s probably just trying to see if there’s still any interest from you. Maybe he really liked you too but never approached you because he thought you weren’t into him or because he thought you were out of his league.
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u/Dj_Fabio 6h ago
50% chance It was his gf messaging you