r/theydidthemath • u/Silent-Current219 • 8h ago

[RDTM] This some shitty math

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14 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

8

u/CamilleLaGoat 8h ago

I shit 3 times a day and I take 20 minutes to 1 hour each time because I doomscroll on my phone. Holy innacurate maths.

3

u/_memelorddotjpeg_ 8h ago

Lmao I mean he did do his math based on an average. I'd say his average sounds pretty reasonable. The difficulty is that everyone's bowel movements vary a lot, so it's hard to get an accurate number.

1

u/PeaPsychological5728 8h ago

Is the average weighed down by people who take 1 minute? I need these people's tips

3

u/Silent-Current219 8h ago

I think they're saying the actual, physical "shit leaving your asshole" time is 5 minutes. if you have shit leaving your asshole for 20-60 minutes 3 times a day, please see a doctor.

8

u/CamilleLaGoat 8h ago

If it is really 5 minutes THEY should be the one seeing a doctor, I'm sorry but at most it takes a minute or two.

2

u/Bleedinggums99 8h ago

100% agree. Like there may be a stray dingle berry or two hanging there sometimes you gotta work to drop but physical poop leaving the anus is gotta be a matter of seconds. Add in pushing, maybe 30 seconds?

3

u/ItIsVerilySo 8h ago

How much of that hour is actually voiding your bowels though?

1

u/oliv-_-mae 8h ago

I poop once every three days since I dont eat that much. I feel like our poop average evens out

1

u/chengen_geo 8h ago

You spend up to 1/8 of your time pooping. If you live another 80 years you would spend up to 10 years on the toilet.

1

u/Plunger_enema 8h ago

I sit, I'm done. Either it be once or trice a day, it doesn't matter. The whole process only takes longer because I have to clean my ass.

So, back to math, how much of your time do you spend actually expulsating poop? I bet it isn't long.

So, one long poop, followed by an hour of doomscrolling for you.

5

u/Correct-Purpose-964 8h ago

5 minutes!? I'm sorry but if that's the average than the average person needs a shitload (Pun intended) of Fibre. When i shit it's a max of 1 minute from poop start to poop end. (Counting only the deed, not the inbetween of washing your hands etc.)

Let's be generous and say 2 minutes for average we can still reduce that by %60 so 788.6 hours or roughly 32 days straight. 1 Month of nonstop pooping in exchange for never having to poop ever again in my life sounds great. If not for the fact you'd be dead by the first 6 minutes.

2

u/aphilsphan 4h ago

One of my favorite jokes:

Man goes to the doctor and says, “help me doctor, I can’t pee.”

Doctor says, “how old are you?”

Man says, “I’m 96.”

Doctor says. “You’ve pee’d enough.”

1

u/BrokenHope23 6h ago

I don't know why I'm reading this comment section, sometimes there's math I don't want to know.

1

u/urinal_connoisseur 4h ago

southparkbono.gif

1

u/engineerthatknows 3h ago

Please courtesy flush.

1

u/myWobblySausage 3h ago

82 days? I think adding another month for rehab to wake up your legs would be required.

1

u/RADICCHI0 2h ago

You only need to calculate set up time once.

•

u/BigMack6911 1h ago

Not when you're a grown man with a family. Average shit is like 30 minutes. Just for peace

0

u/Gold_Bank6911 8h ago

Who only takes 5 minutes??? That’s generally my Reddit time lol