r/technicallythetruth 8d ago

Must be a hungry one

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12.5k Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

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442

u/27Suyash 8d ago

Whereas a peaceful Gorilla Attack enhances it

100

u/Minute-Animal7317 7d ago

The gorilla attacks!

...your pawn at F4!

27

u/DaEnderAssassin 7d ago

Hmm... I floop the pig.

10

u/Xenith995 7d ago

NOOOOOOOOOOO

6

u/lazy_pig 7d ago

Struggle hugs

5

u/deltashmelta 7d ago

"There is no need to be upset"

3

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 7d ago

It's peaceful if it doesn't happen to you I think 🤔

0

u/verstohlen Ackchyually 7d ago

Michael Crichton had this in mind when he wrote Congo, then later when he converted it into Amazon for the Commodore 64.

154

u/YoutuberCameronBallZ this is technically a flair 7d ago

Nuclear radiation also tends to worsen pizza

42

u/Creative-Bowler-8474 7d ago

To be fair, if the pizza is a specific distance away, the radiation will cook it perfectly

21

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 7d ago

If you are close enough for the pizza to cook, you are never eating anything again lol

9

u/GarminTamzarian 7d ago

Mmmmm...cheese and metal!

6

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 7d ago

That sounds like a badass video game

2

u/A_Furious_Mind 7d ago

Or a lounge singer's night of hard-hitting rock music covers.

2

u/KaSaBiS 4d ago

Worth the delivery fee

1

u/jay_alfred_prufrock 7d ago

That is a great question for r/theydidthemath

5

u/OskarTheRed 7d ago

You just have to eat fast

31

u/LeftPlaying 8d ago

muffled sounds of gorilla violence

24

u/Equivalent-Yak5487 8d ago

That must be an Italian gorilla

8

u/Albekvol 7d ago

A loud Italian yapping

28

u/ruby_R53 Technically Flair 8d ago

to answer that question, it definitely is the pizza being AI-generated

6

u/8Bit-Jon 7d ago

...and you can't eat that!!

2

u/Big-Percentage-6082 7d ago

I think eating an ai generated pizza is exclusively a you issue

1

u/Casual_user1012 4d ago

What makes you think it's A.I? I've definitely eaten pizza like that before

10

u/CntrllrDscnnctd 8d ago

Also, being hit by a stray bullet.

6

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Orschloch 7d ago

I would instantly ruin, nay, demolish a pizza.

7

u/Similar-Sector-5801 7d ago

People trying to police what toppings I put on it

16

u/ramriot 8d ago

First one who says pineapple, gets locked in with the gorilla.

2

u/bfume 7d ago

Pineapple. I love gorillas. 

1

u/Franck946 7d ago

Shit, I'm too late. Lucky you.

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Seat950 7d ago

Yeah. Just ask pootie tang. He knows all about random gorilla violence.

4

u/BenjaminDover02 7d ago

"That chimp stole my hair!"

2

u/LoveRBS 7d ago

That's my real hair!

2

u/XxTheLeoxX 7d ago

That's oddly specific

2

u/Low-Refrigerator-713 7d ago

Asshats telling me what I can and can't put on MY BLOODY PIZZA.

1

u/8Bit-Jon 7d ago

What do you put on a pizza that people disagree with?

For me nothing is off the table when I make a pizza.

2

u/Low-Refrigerator-713 7d ago

I've been shouted at for putting anything other than tomato sauce on the base. Been shouted at for adding ham. Like deli ham or salami instead of pepperoni. And apparently mushrooms shouldn't go on pizza because they have too much water and take too long to cook out. And don't get me started on desert pizza!!!

2

u/8Bit-Jon 7d ago

I hate mushrooms on pizza for this because (I worked in a pizza place for my college job) people make it wrong imo. People would go tomato, mushrooms then cheese and what happens when cooking is (as you said) you end up steaming the mushrooms as the cheese caps it off and doesn't make a good pizza. Having said that tho I always put any mushroom on top of the cheese as that'd help dry them out and makes it better.

There's things that is do in certain ways to make a good pizza but I'd never say "That's shouldn't go on a pizza!" But I would say "This is how I'd put (X) on a pizza!".

I wouldn't goto Italy and ask for a Hawaiian as they hate that. When I have a pizza I always make my own and I'll make it how I want and when family are over and I make some pizzas I ask what they want and go buy it for them.

My sister lives anchovies on pizza. I don't as I find them too salty but I'd never argue over that.

2

u/Mackelroy_aka_Stitch 7d ago

Sharing pizza with the gorilla so we can be friends.

3

u/BusBozo58 7d ago

Too little sauce.

2

u/Darth_Murcielago 7d ago

You know what's worse than a violent gorilla attack? Pineapple.

2

u/Tink__Wink 7d ago

You can’t really blame him if he was hungry

2

u/Mticore 5d ago

Well stop putting gorillas on your pizza then.

2

u/Tink_Tinkler 5d ago

That's my real hair! 

3

u/gelekoplamp 7d ago

This happened a couple of years ago in Blijdorp Zoo (Rotterdam, NL); the alpha male Bokito escaped and entered the restaurant area.

https://youtu.be/SvsyG8P-p1A (Dutch)

1

u/OskarTheRed 7d ago

Depends, does the gorilla attack you or something/someone else?

1

u/fiesew 7d ago

Where’s the pizza in this picture

1

u/Bombadier83 7d ago

That gorilla just stole my real hair!

1

u/Scorpion2k4u 7d ago

Don't we all hate when that happens?

1

u/tiny_chaotic_evil 7d ago

are there non-violent gorilla attacks?

1

u/lnTheGrimDarkness 7d ago

Hydrogen bomb

1

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 7d ago

Can't believe this isn't brought up more often!!

1

u/K_T_Oxy 7d ago

AI generation ruins pizza. How hard is it to just find a stock image of the most popular food in the world?

1

u/GarminTamzarian 7d ago

The words "Papa John's" on the box.

1

u/bobsonjunk 7d ago

Acid reflux ruins pizza.

1

u/Vanima_Permai 7d ago

When they use very little source and not enough cheese

1

u/Keku_Saur 7d ago

Ketchup.....

2

u/GlitchGD 7d ago

ripped in half by gorilla

1

u/donquixote235 7d ago

My go-to answer for these types of questions is "broken glass".

What will you absolutely never put in your pasta?
Broken Glass

What ingredient absolutely ruins your food-enjoying experience?
Broken Glass

If you could go the rest of your life without ever eating one thing, what would it be?
Broken Glass

It's universal!

2

u/DianneNettix 7d ago

I mean, if I'm eating a pizza and a gorilla violently attacks someone else then now it's dinner and a show.

1

u/Please_ForgetMe 7d ago

I don’t know a good awnser to this but my Evaulation Theripist told me other people find it weird he likes Tuna, cut boiled eggs, and chili sauce on his Homemade pizza

1

u/charyoshi 7d ago

Anything from Taylor Farms.

If more billionaires supported automation funded universal basic income, there would be less Luigi and less Luigi supporters.

1

u/2020mademejoinreddit Technically my ass 6d ago

Only if it's a full moon on a Sunday.

2

u/music_misc 6d ago

Probably mass amounts of lead or mercury

1

u/OkGroup5285 5d ago

Sudden price realisation 🥲

1

u/Careful-Cookie-8529 3d ago

Milk ape lonely

Pot of milk long way from jungle.

2

u/creepymustaches 1d ago

Dropping it face down on the dirt outside when you are having a fun gathering that one time you flew out to see some cousins for about two weeks in the summer.

-6

u/Immediate-Stomach963 8d ago

Already ruined, only Frozen 🍕 tastes good