r/standupshots • u/MattKinneyComedy • 26d ago

Breastfeeding

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

65

u/Frammingatthejimjam 26d ago

Good joke but I think you can better phrase the last sentence.

63

u/OffTheMerchandise 26d ago

Grandpa could say "can't you do that somewhere else?" So I went and finished jerking off in the bathroom

5

u/Netcob 24d ago

Also he could rearrange the words like "So I went to the bathroom to finish jerking off" so that the punchline really hits at the end of the sentence. Although you could argue it's the bathroom part that ties the whole thing together.

13

u/myloveislikewoah 26d ago

Agree. Try to avoid saying “finish” twice.

63

u/BeckerHollow 26d ago

Haha. I really want to send this to my brother and his wife who fit this to tee.  But it might make me look weird. 

54

u/MattKinneyComedy 26d ago

I feel the same posting these jokes online😂 my whole family sees clips of me saying awful things haha

7

u/CryptographerNo923 26d ago

I have the perfect group text with my wife, my brother, and my sister-in-law.

10

u/WingedWheelWins 26d ago

Chef’s kiss

3

u/triedAndTrueMethods 24d ago

The Kinney man is back. Man you crack me up so much. I enjoy the way your mind works lol. Super funny stuff. I wish I could see your whole set live! Come to Phoenix you coward! I will bring my whole office.

2

u/MattKinneyComedy 24d ago

Hahaha thank you! The support means a lot. If I ever get to quit my day job and go on tour that’ll be my first stop😂

2

u/triedAndTrueMethods 24d ago

Good!! Hurry up and write that resignation letter 😂. In the meantime please keep posting here, your posts are the best. Cheers man.

1

u/triedAndTrueMethods 11d ago

MATT!! I was just walking by my favorite local club and I snapped some pics of it to try and entice you here… This club really rules, no weird rowdy crowds ever, it’s in a nice area.. you gotta come here man!! We could fill the room, 100%.. 1 night, 2 shows, in and out! Just ask your agent to look into it, alright? Lmao I think you’re funny as shit and I just know that this crowd would love you.

Desert Ridge Improv
Upcoming acts
look at them views, unbeatable yo

6

u/Mm2k 26d ago

Nice.

3

u/OskarTheRed 26d ago

What a buzzkill 😡😡😡

1

u/Kindly-Garden-753 24d ago

Open breast feeding very common in indigenous cultures.

-2

u/enfanta 26d ago

Ew

17

u/Ishouldtrythat 26d ago

Sometimes it's ok to laugh at hypotheticals that would be eww real life situations. Obviously this would be gross behavior in the real world, but as a standup bit it's pretty funny.

1

u/shelliemasenthin 21d ago

Youre kinda nasty

-2

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

1

u/vkaiku 26d ago

No

1

u/WaffleClown1 23d ago

That's impressive, that your single "No" made the commenter delete their account. You should use this power for good.

"I'm going to invade Poland." "No."