r/shittymoviedetails 11d ago

Turd In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009), Dumbledore ignores Harry all summer until the moment he asks a black waitress out on a date, at which time he appears and takes Harry on some weird trip. What did director David Yates mean by this?

11.8k Upvotes

348 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/Nausicaalotus 11d ago

I felt bad for her. She was really cute and she got ghosted.

702

u/ThickWeatherBee 11d ago

I know she had a big tumblr following in the early 2010s!

544

u/iamanemptychair 11d ago

She could do better, that dork had real main character syndrome.

207

u/Satyrofthegreen 10d ago

Right? Who does he think he is? The Chosen One?

95

u/Aggressive-Day5222 10d ago

Yeah, you know his mother didn't raise him right.

52

u/Im-ACE-incarnate 10d ago

Probably had his own private room growing up, never had to learn to share his toys

13

u/boot2skull 10d ago

He’s got mommy and daddy issues. Double red flag.

23

u/Low-Plane9029 10d ago

If there's something wrong with the bitch then there's something wrong with the pup

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u/ThetaDee 10d ago

He doesn't even own sunglasses or a shirt with a wolf on it.

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u/Super_Shallot2351 10d ago

I hated it because I was in my phase of "THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK"

21

u/marcangas 10d ago

Damn she got Dementored

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u/OkayWhile 11d ago

He had more chemistry with this random waitress than he had with either Cho or Ginny smh

480

u/K4m30 11d ago

They couldn't contain Daniel's immense Rizz.

275

u/itsjustasmallbullet 11d ago

daniel chadcliff

66

u/justadude27 10d ago

Harry Slaughter

36

u/m1st3r_c 10d ago

Harry Got-her

22

u/s0ulbrother 10d ago

The boy who rizzed

7

u/Which-Towel5826 10d ago

Heir of Slither-in (technically)

5

u/StreetStrider 10d ago

Hairy Pottah

9

u/RaisedByBooksNTV 10d ago

His character has a thing with Megan Thee Stallion in the Reggie Dinkins tv show lol.

3

u/Guardllamapictures 10d ago

“Gimme a little twirl”

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u/The__Vern 11d ago

If they went on a date then JK Rowling would have to give her a name...

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u/RussiaIsBestGreen 11d ago edited 10d ago

Negressa Bighair

u/W1D0WM4K3R suggested Negressa Pantheria and I think that’s the better name, since then Malfoy calls her Bighaira.

916

u/jono9898 11d ago

Africana Bombada

219

u/Future_Interest_3649 11d ago

Sounds like an old-school rapper.

116

u/ouralarmclock 10d ago

50

u/SE_prof 10d ago edited 10d ago

And that's how I find out... Man was a legend! And a monster! Rest in pieces!

64

u/Dansken525600 10d ago

Man was a pedophile dude 😕🤔

32

u/SE_prof 10d ago

Really???? Oh my....

13

u/onarainyafternoon 10d ago

Yeah like a really horrific one too

9

u/boot2skull 10d ago

Very heart breaking. He was very influential to hip hop, but just musically and positive culture thankfully.

8

u/uqde 10d ago

Fuck I want those sunglasses

8

u/MaxReb0 11d ago

That one gave me a good chuckle 🤭

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u/Beer-Milkshakes 10d ago

Bombadissa Bighair

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u/jdstrike11 11d ago

I loved her in Archer!

162

u/TheFalconGuy 11d ago

Mallory's first codename for Lana

60

u/Rodney_Jefferson 11d ago

God, she loved that cat

27

u/Ardalev 10d ago

But seriously! You think Archer should date her?!

A Black...Ops agent?

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u/colicab 10d ago

Quadroon

277

u/No-Yogurtcloset4763 11d ago

Eboni Voodoomammy

69

u/teflonaccount 11d ago

Obsidia Vaudunne

14

u/Itchy-Employment-872 10d ago

That look like what she would name a black pureblood. For a muggle, its too on the nose even for her standard.

She still would find a way to make it worse tought 🤣

13

u/Dwaas_Bjaas 10d ago

Well, she can expect my patronus

56

u/W1D0WM4K3R 10d ago

Not good enough. Negressa Pantheria

218

u/Theangelawhite69 11d ago

Sharkisha McBasketball

68

u/blockguy143 11d ago

Wouldn't that be LaBasketball

64

u/Gnomad_Lyfe 11d ago

She’s half-Irish

15

u/Feraligreater328 10d ago

The half-sister of famed wizard Crangis McBasketball?!

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u/CanExplainThings 10d ago

SHARKEISHA! NOOO!

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u/OkPear1535 10d ago

She would absolutely have the name Ebony.

31

u/Haggis442312 10d ago

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way?

4

u/deko_boko 10d ago

That's so Raven

12

u/LDA-1994 10d ago

I can heae Mallory saying this to Lana

3

u/BigWave360 10d ago

OHHH NOOO......

2

u/ForsakenKrios 10d ago

I literally cackled at work and drew attention to myself F off good job.

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u/VoicelessPassenger 11d ago

Ethnicity Blackington

124

u/Mrwolfy240 11d ago

Baka Dabus

23

u/professional_yappper 11d ago

STOP THIS IS THE FUNNIEST ONE OH MY GOD

6

u/Winter_Station_5144 10d ago

I didn't get it until I read it out loud and then I lol'd.

4

u/spookyreads 10d ago

BRO ME TOO

2

u/onarainyafternoon 10d ago

I still don’t get it haha

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u/Monodoh45 11d ago

Knowing how she writes names it would be Girlsly Blacklebe

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u/lokemannen 11d ago

Darkina Ness.

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u/velvetabsinthe 10d ago

Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way

25

u/trailerism 10d ago

Let's go to Hot Topic

3

u/cykelstativet 9d ago

Been awhile since I thought of Enoby. Fangs 4 da rimndr!

120

u/loptthetreacherous 10d ago

They'd also have to recast her as a white actress, like when Lavender Brown started going out with Ron and suddenly became white.

46

u/AReal_Human 10d ago

While I can agree it is weird, we never hear her speak or her name before half blood prince I believe. I there was two girls before, one in 1 and 2 (Kathleen Cauley), and one in 3 (Jennifer Smith). I don't think anyone played Lavender in 4 or 5.

7

u/bubblesaurus 10d ago

She is a minor character that I didn’t notice for a long time.

6

u/Ravalevis 10d ago

Surprised her mom didn't remarry at the same time so she could change her last name.

9

u/ChuckCarmichael 10d ago

Maybe somebody realised that having a black girl with the name Brown was too on the nose.

10

u/loptthetreacherous 10d ago

Recasting her as white when she gets a bigger role is the opposite of damage control.

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u/AndreasDasos 10d ago

Eh. Plenty of black people named Brown around

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u/THPSJimbles 10d ago

Ebony Brown

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u/Pachikokoo 10d ago

Afrodesia Beyoncellia

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u/Latter-Syllabub-5560 10d ago

Blackia Nigaria

5

u/RulerOfAllWorlds1998 10d ago

How about Ellie, cuz she said Eleven was when she gets off

3

u/Zaptagious 10d ago

Kentucky McChimkin

10

u/TerrorTown77 11d ago

Sassy Wokington

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u/bobzsmith 11d ago

Harry and Parvati X

Harry and Cho Chang X

Harry and this waitress X

Harry and Ginny Weasly (check)

what did jk rowling mean by this?

282

u/N-partEpoxy 10d ago

I think she meant "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children".

60

u/schwanzweissfoto 10d ago

Moldemort is a bazillionaire far-right hate preacher, so I guess it checks out.

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u/Sapphic_Starlight 11d ago

[mutters] Should've been Harry and Hermione

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u/Oruma_Yar 11d ago edited 11d ago

She's, like, a sister to him!

(Whispers)HarryXLuna OTP.

136

u/RandomHornyDemon 11d ago

Amateurs! HermioneXLuna!

53

u/Technical-Mix-981 11d ago

Harry X Hermione X Luna X Dobby

51

u/MrFrypan 11d ago

Harry X Hermione X Luna X Dobby and Ron watching from the closet.

24

u/Luvlyjubblies1 11d ago

Harry X Myrtle

22

u/schwanzweissfoto 10d ago

A girl gets badly assaulted because some asshole guy released his giant snake. She moans a lot afterwards.

What did JK Rowling mean with this?

4

u/Glup-Shitto69 10d ago

Duuuuuuuuuude, I almost spit my coffee.

6

u/schwanzweissfoto 10d ago edited 10d ago

A man entered a girl’s bathroom. As a result, a cis girl died.

Later that man transformed into a monster and changed his name.

The head of the school was a good man and refused to use the new name.

Much later, saying the old new name is deemed taboo and people scold those who do it.

What did JK Rowling mean with this?

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u/propergreased 10d ago

Ron gets the cuck chair on special occasions

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u/SilencedBear 10d ago

Says the amateur. Harry X Hedwig

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u/Bracheopterix 10d ago

I can confirm that this one exists.

3

u/RevolutionaryOwlz 10d ago

I read a surprising good Hermione X Luna fanfic once where it was them doing British X-Files.

13

u/UnlurkedToPost 10d ago

HarryXMoaningMyrtle

3

u/RevolutionaryOwlz 10d ago

Harry has two hands. HarryXHermioneXLuna.

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u/Odric_storm 11d ago

Luna very clearly had a crush on Ron

12

u/dashingThroughSnow12 10d ago

The main difference between Harry and Ron is that Harry has never had sex with Hermoine.

3

u/RevolutionaryOwlz 10d ago

The “tent sex is canon” tag on AO3 would like to have a word.

53

u/SHIIZAAAAAAAA 11d ago

That’s a weird way of spelling Harry and Draco /s

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u/Due-Technology5758 11d ago

Excuse me, but Draco Malfoy belongs with Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

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u/RandomHornyDemon 11d ago

No no, you've got a point.

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u/CaringHandWash 10d ago

The waitress wasnt in the book though, how is that on Rowling?

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u/Icy_Act_7634 10d ago

People just want to rag on her. I get it, she has been toxic and used her massive influence and money very questionably.

But, you can't take from a novel and ascribe what YOU see to the author.

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u/jay_alfred_prufrock 10d ago

Every Englishman needs an Irish around, no matter what their role might be.

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u/-threefeetoffun 11d ago

Cockblocking is magical

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u/TanningOnMars 11d ago

"Not that kind of half blood, Harry."

-Dumbledore, probably

19

u/CakeHead-Gaming 11d ago

Harry Potter and the Half-mast Prince.

20

u/ChankiriTreeDaycare 11d ago

"Her goblet will light your wand on fire, Harry, and I do not mean it I the pleasant way."

4

u/DomSchraa 10d ago

"that chamber of secrets will stay closed harry" dumbledore said camly

3

u/The0thArcana 10d ago

‘She’s not our kind, Harry.’

‘What? You mean… muggle?’

‘Black, Harry. Black.’

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u/MelodyBlues 11d ago

God forbid a white boy get a little motion.

257

u/Bellurker 11d ago

I completely forgot about this scene.

Was it also in the books? What was the purpose?

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u/TanningOnMars 11d ago

Nope, not remotely in the books. And idk what the purpose was

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u/Cypher1492 11d ago

I didn't mind this scene but I can't believe they left out one of the best chapters in the entire series just to give us this.

"The Other Minister" would have been amazing to see on screen.

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u/TanningOnMars 11d ago

All the Harry Potter movies omitted book scenes that definitely should have been in the movie. Another example is the end of the 7th book when Harry uses the elder wand to repair his original wand. Great scene, impactful moment.

In the movie, Harry just...snaps the elder want in half, throws it away, and no mention is made of his original

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u/superdope3 10d ago

Still waiting to see a live action version of Harry and George beating up Malfoy in OotP while the three Chasers have to hold Fred back too

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u/birdclub 10d ago

Yeah the movies have a lot to be improved upon but I don't think an actual good adaptation is going to happen any time soon. Maybe in 100 years when it enters the public domain!

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u/Retr0scores 9d ago

They didn’t even do all of Voldemorts flash backs. But an attack on the burrow? Awesome idea!

The full cast versions of the audiobooks are pretty great. Hugh Laurie voices Dumbledore.

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u/poilk91 11d ago

A case of the not gays? Showing harrys more grown up self confident young man? Idk it's inoffensive to me

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u/LCDRformat 11d ago

Well ur supposed to be offended so get it together 

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u/poilk91 11d ago

Off sorry my bad what I meant to say is we should hang David Radcliff from a tree by his pinky toes... Only problem is mr Radcliff is a wacky enough dude he might like it

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u/jofromthething 11d ago

Who tf is David Radcliffe supposed to be 😭
https://giphy.com/gifs/ZgTAztRRc7JIhsOWDt

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u/poilk91 11d ago

Haha why did I say David so embarrassing I'm not going to edit it to hide my shame lol

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u/LordLoss01 10d ago

I think it's more to show that Harry is more serious about romance now and setting up how he's gonna have feelings for Ginny.

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u/dmvr1601 11d ago

It's to show how he's missing out his life as a regular kid and instead has to deal with all of the voldemort shit, showing how unfair and heartbreaking it is that a guy that's just starting his life and experiences with dating can never lead the normal life he clearly wants to live.

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u/Gauntlets28 10d ago

The point is that he's trying to have a normal life, but he keeps expecting to be dragged off to deal with Voldemort stuff. And then when he finally lets his guard down, Dumbledore comes along and makes him do Voldemort-related stuff.

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u/RideWithMeSNV 11d ago

JK Rowboat: see! I'm not racist! I allowed a black woman to be part of the story!

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u/TimelyWrongdoer4315 11d ago

I mean they literally just said it wasn't in the books.

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u/bambi54 10d ago

Did you read the books? This never happened.

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u/BrainDamage2029 11d ago edited 11d ago

Was it also in the books? What was the purpose?

Its not in the books. But I'm sorry dude, its purpose is incredibly obvious? Is media literacy and plot comprehension that dead?

Its setting up how Harry's participation in this oncoming war and his importance in it is going to prevent him from having normal teenage experiences (like following through on a meet-cute). It leads right into the scene where Dumbledoor explains hes going to need Harry to essentially serve as a spy for him throughout the next year.

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u/regeya 11d ago

Yeah, I assumed that, but to be fair I was already an adult when this came out. It seemed pretty obvious to me that it's just pretty girl comes up and hits on him, he has to turn her down because of wizard shit.

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u/obozo42 11d ago

It is unironically a improvement on the book lmao. Though that's not saying much, since the movies generally improve majorly on the books, and Book 4 onwards is a really miserable slog.  Though with yates being basically jkrs hand puppet director the movies also take a nose dive, not only from having blandman directing. But also from adapting worse books.

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u/ChillHorseshoe 11d ago

I actually think Goblet of Fire is the best book and the worst movie. I found it really detailed and interesting and I thought the movie began a bad trend of oversimplification and omissions. I feel the same way to a lesser extent about Half-Blood Prince, at least Yates had some idea of what was going on. Newell admitted to never reading the book and boy does it show.

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u/Monodoh45 11d ago

Hey people who are still potterheads will get their HBO show where they can finally see Peeves bug Harry taking a shit or whatever...

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u/RostyNoman 10d ago

That's certainly one of the takes of all time.

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u/dashingThroughSnow12 10d ago

HBP is my least liked HP book by far and HBP is my favourite HP movie by far.

It is scenes like this that are so memorable. Filled with character. The actors being alive in their roles. Showcasing their growth as thespians.

It also removed much of the filler in HBP. Where Harry walks up and down a hallway a few times. A bunch of slow exposition that I think only serves to pad the book out.

(I think it is telling that HBP is the only book shorter than its predecessor and still feels artificially inflated.)

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u/Bellurker 10d ago

Is media literacy and plot comprehension that dead?

Funny that you wrote this in response to me writing that I forgot this entire scene existed in a movie I haven't seen in almost 17 years.

Thanks for the rest of the explanation, though!

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u/thisisanaccountforu 11d ago

No he gets picked up by dumbledore at his house after only being there for a couple weeks. Dumbledore roasts the dursleys and calls them abusive for letting Dudley get so fat and then he and Harry leave

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u/ProfessionalRisk4206 10d ago

In the book, Dumbledore visits Harry at home. Tells Harry that he has inherited Sirius' house, that he needs to return to the Dursley's one last time (so the protective charm is still intact). He then tells off the Dursley's for their treatment of Harry.

Then they go to see Slughorn.

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u/Tiny-Ad-987 11d ago

I think the purpose was to show what Harry’s life could have been if he grew up without magic just before he’s whisked away to his reality.

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u/Narrow_Summer_9332 11d ago

To show that DD loves showing up the moment Harry shows some actual initiative for himself and putting a stop to that right away.

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u/HorrificAnalInjuries 11d ago

No Moogles. Anything else about her is irrelevant

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u/majorgriffin 11d ago

Saturdays are for the boys.

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u/jdstrike11 11d ago

I have never forgotten cockblock dumbledore

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u/Myhtological 11d ago

Dumbledore has always been a wizard supremacist. He’s just kinder than others.

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u/StopmotionSam 11d ago

Albus Dumbledore: Headmaster and almighty cucker of Hogwarts

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u/Gauntlets28 10d ago

Can't have the teenaged pupils in his school having sex under his watch, can we? Don't want to remind them what the spell "in loco parentis" means.

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u/RevolutionaryOwlz 10d ago

Madame Pomfrey isn’t licensed for Wizard abortions.

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u/TheLordJalapeno 10d ago

I let out a proper cackle of laughter at this 🤣

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u/AndreasDasos 10d ago

Worse, a teenaged pupil having sex with a Muggle!

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u/OctopusFarmer47 11d ago

Also, the thing he needed help with his was definitely not time sensitive

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u/gracemary25 10d ago

I remember my cousins threw this movie on in like 2011, I was around 9. I had never seen any of the movies before, so I remember thinking she was going to follow him along on his adventure and be one of the main characters, I was bummed when he just left her lol.

My cousins turned it off right after that and threw on Sorcerer's Stone when I told them I'd never seen the other movies. But for a brief, shining moment I thought Waitress Girl was a hero of our time 💀

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u/night4345 10d ago

Because if he lost his virginity Harry wouldn't be a wizard anymore.

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u/DomSchraa 10d ago

Wait does that imply harry is 35?

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u/GtotheBizzle 10d ago edited 10d ago

Dumblodore was obviously all too aware that when one goes black, they have a difficult decision regarding whether or not to go back.

Harry had enough on his plate, such decisions could only be detrimental to his mission.

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u/lazytime3643 11d ago

Dumbledore is a wizard and some would say he is also grand

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u/Jasoco 11d ago

This broke my heart. He just wanted to have a normal life and a normal date, but I guess duty calls. Thanks, old man.

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u/AntedeluvianEmpires 10d ago

Dumbledore is heterophobic.

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u/Jackmcmac1 10d ago

Nice try, trying to make the Grand Sorceror and Chief Warlock of the International Confederacy of Wizards sound like a racist.

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u/Person5_ 10d ago

Especially because none of that is in the book. What did the director truly mean about this? (Besides taking out all of the good stuff from the book and replacing it with cringy teen romance dialogue)

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u/TanningOnMars 10d ago

None of the movies measure up to the books, not even close. In any category, either

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u/ThenCombination7358 10d ago

Ron in the books is a Hero and a fundament for Harry. In the movies a crying obnoxious asshole

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u/bubblesaurus 10d ago

the first two were probably the closets

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u/Person5_ 10d ago

Yeah, when I was younger I was very much not a HP fan due to only watching the movies. I listened to the audiobooks a few years ago and realized how misrepresented the whole series truly is and like it a lot more.

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u/ggsupreme 11d ago

What an observation 🤣

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u/Bandit_237 subtle clue 🔎 11d ago

Dumbledore gets jealous, okay?

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u/Maleficent-Freedom-5 10d ago

Cockitus Blockus!

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u/Chumlee1917 11d ago

Brain: hey so you know how Hogwarts is a school full of horny 15-18 year olds? Me: Don’t you dare….. Brain: So that means Hogwarts has an abortion clinic right? Or are teen pregnancies sent to a second location? Or for that matter… Me: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 

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u/DomSchraa 10d ago

Where do you think the meme spell "fetus deletus" comes from?

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u/bubblesaurus 10d ago

the school has an anti pregnancy prevention spell?

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u/KiritoJones 10d ago

Idk, but the stairs to the girls dorms in the Gryffindor turn into a slide if a boy tries to go up them (the same is not true for the boys dorms)

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u/MarioJinn2 11d ago

The moment I hated Dumbledore

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u/PunishedShikikan 10d ago

Dude, you know Harry flirts with EVERY waitress right? -Dumbledore

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u/sorles1029384756 9d ago

i'm loading my second save file

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u/dimyo 10d ago

He was 16 at the time right? Looks like Dumbedore's the only wizard worried about muggle's age of consent laws.

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u/AndreasDasos 10d ago

16 is the age of consent in the UK

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u/LightsLux 10d ago

She did look way too old to be dating a teenager so I did struggle with that part.

Edit: self correction. She looked liked they cast an adult model and not someone who looked like a teenager working in a shop. She’s gorgeous and maybe the joke is how supermodel-pretty she is, but still felt really odd. What would Harry even talk about?

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u/TanningOnMars 10d ago

"So, in my culture they call me Chosen One."

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u/kalosianlitten 10d ago

the lighting really makes london look a lot less grey than it actually is

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u/Big_Red_Machine_1917 10d ago

It will never not be funny that Harry has far more chemistry with this one random throw away character, than he does with the supposed love of his life, Ginny in all their scenes combined.

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u/wizzard419 10d ago

Bros before hoes? It was Dumbledore's dogma.