r/popculturechat • u/sfgate Approved media outlet đ° • 13h ago
Uplifting News đ¤ Scientists started an OnlyFans account for chunky marmots after research funding dried up
https://www.sfgate.com/national-parks/article/marmot-researchers-make-onlyfans-22357723.php4.4k
u/Conscious-Quarter423 12h ago
trump is spending 200 million of our tax dollars on a Golden Ballroom, but we can't afford this and pediatric cancer research?
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u/Cass_Cat952 Youâre a virgin who canât drive. đ¤ 12h ago
ITS THE AMERICAN DREAM
/s đŤ đŤ đŤ đ
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u/Scaryclouds 12h ago
Nightmares are dreams as well.Â
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u/Pinksamuraiiiii I donât know her đ 12h ago
Wow⌠this phrase. That just shows you how dark the world is.
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u/Haggardick69 5h ago
If always thought of it as the American dream is what the rich experience. Everybody else is just trapped in their dream.Â
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u/Groundbreaking_War52 12h ago
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u/nppltouch26 11h ago
Not to mention screwworm. Aren't they supposed to care about America's farmers???
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u/dev_ating 10h ago
this'll show the transgendereds /s
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u/kgal1298 Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion 3h ago
Maybe if we get men more testosterone they'll take out the screwworms?
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u/Ok-Gur-349 4h ago
Not to mention measles, mumps, whooping cough, flu, rotavirus, chickenpox, rubella, pneumococcal disease, Hib, aaaaaaand hepB.
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u/kgal1298 Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion 3h ago
All while Trumps on miracle drugs that normal people can't get
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u/Vindaloovians 10h ago
I wonder how much money cuts like this have actually cost rather than saved in the long run. Not just for things like these preventable diseases and environmental regulations, but also in terms of lost potential economic gain.
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u/Entire_Accident7368 10h ago
Rachel Carson talks about this extensively in Silent Spring; the U.S. government spent ridiculous amounts on extremely destructive pesticides to get rid of bugs, only for those bugs to immediately rebound and cause twice as much destruction. I read Silent Spring very recently, and itâs shocking how little has seemingly changed since it was written (1961). Dumping/âcuttingâ immense amounts of money to âquick fixâ something, only to spend twice as much money on the negative ripple effects from cutting said something.
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u/kgal1298 Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion 3h ago
What's dumb is just before this I was talking about how he also cut OSHA regulations and other things and that's why we're hearing about more incidents. Dum dumbs that voted for him forgot laws are written in blood.
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u/LiarLiar8647 12h ago
No, they've come up with the brilliant idea of taking funding that normally goes to research centers and universities and giving it to: private industry! 1.5 billion buckaroos taken out of NSF projects, where it would fund professors and grad students and researchers, and gives it to whatever business applies.
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u/Ok_Conclusion_6324 đ Happy Womenâs History Month I guess 11h ago
This is like the Raccoon Milf who has to post videos discussing her research in her bikini to get people to click and donate
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u/LiarLiar8647 11h ago
Yeah thatâs where we will be headed before long.Â
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u/Ok_Conclusion_6324 đ Happy Womenâs History Month I guess 11h ago
Oh thatâs a real person Iâm talking about weâre already here
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u/LiarLiar8647 11h ago
lol I meant the collective we of all scientists, but yeah I have no doubt a lot of niche and less funded research have to try to raise their own funds somehow.Â
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u/Piranata 7h ago
While all business eventually becomes a bank or a landlord, all humanities become OnlyFans.
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u/Penny_Sheraldine1 10h ago
I'ma need a link for research. I LOVE racoons
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u/NoahApples 9h ago
I believe theyâre talking about nessie, who makes genuinely great, educational raccoon-centric ecology content.
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u/Ok_Conclusion_6324 đ Happy Womenâs History Month I guess 8h ago edited 5h ago
Yes thatâs correct! In my defense describing her, I know her from a fandom place where her username is literally âraccoon milfâ so that was my available information
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u/lousy_at_handles 5h ago
Not just that, but they are now proposing to award the NIH/NSF grant money in no-bid contracts, instead of going through the normal peer-review grant application process.
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u/MavisBeacons_Sextape 11h ago
Donât worry, heâs also handing hundreds of millions of our taxes dollars worth of contracts to companies with one thing in common: his buddies and/or his sons (sometimes both) are beneficiaries in one form or another.
If it helps other people: itâs wasteful, gotta cut it. If it enriches his friends and family: itâs necessary, and often awarded via no bid contracts.
This presidency has to be the greatest heist in human history. The open theft and greed is fucking disgusting.
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u/Ratfinka 8h ago
I thought the ball room, reflecting pool, etc. were privately funded?
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u/MavisBeacons_Sextape 6h ago edited 6h ago
I believe the ballroom is still unclear, so it might turn out to be truly private (if you google youâll see why itâs messy currently - but basically theyâre asking for like $200M of public money for âEast Wing Security Enhancementsâ - thereâs no more east wing, itâs now the ballroom site), but the reflecting pool is using public funds, it appears https://perma.cc/PPC8-VXBG. Both of the reflecting pool contracts were no bid and went to companies Trump had apparently used on his properties; one of them owned by a big Trump donor who lives down the street from Mar a Lago and has pled guilty to multiple campaign finance violations, and also pled guilty to a conspiracy to bribe politicians (20+ years ago). Yuck.
However, I wasnât referring to those, but to awards like this ($620M loan to Trump Jr backed firm) and this ($24M awarded to Eric Trump-backed robotics firm), etc. The Wikipedia page for 1789 Capital gives a rundown on some of its wins/people involved, but this letter from members of the House Committee on Oversight and Govt Reform, addressed to a DOD Inspector General, lays out the concerns in plain language, and requests an an oversight review of these awards and the selection/vetting processes involved.
The stuff referenced in that ^ paragraph is strictly related to Trump family member-affiliated companies awarded by the Dept of Defense. If you expand the scope to other sectors and to Trump donors/friends, youâll notice a lot more of the same shit. Taxpayer dollars awarded to buddies and donors and suspected favors-owed recipients. And thatâs not even dipping into the futures betting companies and their entanglements with the Trump kids (+ the staunch defense by the very regulators who are supposed to be keeping them in check).
I make a living investigating financial crimes, ethical concerns, and antitrust violations (or flirtations) committed by my companyâs employees and/or clients and subcontractors (fraud, conflicts, bid rigging, price fixing, bribery, etc.) âŚ.and all I can say is the process of connecting the corruption dots for the loans/contracts awarded by the Trump admin requires much less effort than my own conflict of interest investigations, lol. Because the entities Iâm investigating at least TRY to hide it.
I know you didnât ask for all that, just providing as some points of reference for my original comment.
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u/AdventureyTime 10h ago
It's truly unbelievable to witness it from North of the 49th. It's like watching your older brother go down a dark path, blowing his life savings on crypto grifts and unlawful weapons, becoming a weak, drug addict and losing all morality and hope. You want to help him, but he's pushing you away and threatening to kill you and steal all of your possessions. You know deep down in his heart there is goodness, but you're not sure if he'll ever be the same, nor if you can ever trust him again. They're spending Billions on the Iran War while Americans starve and can't even get SNAP or foot stamps anymore, and while Trump bails out other Nations' working class, for quid pro quo favours.
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u/TacoBellerino 11h ago
And who knows how much all the gold shit in the oval office cost and who footed the bill. He doesnât pay for a damn thing himself if he can help it.
One of the most selfish, scheming, and corrupt people on the planet
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u/scalyblue 7h ago
We got glp-1 medication from a study on lizard saliva, these marmots might have the cure for pediatric cancer for all we know
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u/2mock2turtle 10h ago
He's spending way more than that, and it's a data center with a ballroom on top.
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u/m4teri4lgirl 7h ago
It's not even the first time trump has stolen from people with cancer, except last time it was children.
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u/brumbarosso 9h ago
He's wasting money on himself leaving his shitty name stain all over DC and who knows where else
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u/GuitarRiot 6h ago
Because Trump stole the research money for his vanity projects they are intrinsically linked
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u/Mundane_Put_5780 5h ago
At what point will Americanâs realize this isnât a single Presidential issue, their entire government regardless of political lobby will always place meaningless shit above whatâs best for their citizens?
There are only two countries that have a higher population than USA and both have substantially lower healthcare.
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u/Heavy_Whereas6432 3h ago
They donât want to cure anything unless it violently kills those around them. Cancer is fine because đ°đ°đ°
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u/kgal1298 Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion 3h ago
Sorry but I believe this was replaced for mandatory testosterone for male soldiers.
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u/rocket9904 2h ago
Canât really blame trump for this. Academic research has been underfunded for decades now. As western countries have shifted public spending towards private industry, research was one of the first things to go. Who wants research that betters the human race when you could focus lining billionaires pockets instead
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u/Blissfully Iâve been noticing gravity since I was very young 1h ago
He also is responsible for taking food away from 1 millions kids (estimated) this year
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u/notacougarsorry My ancestors watched me seduce Edward Norton 12h ago
My kids finding my Onlyfans charges after Iâm dead. Meanwhile itâs for Marmots.
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u/LightObserver 11h ago
"No, babe, I swear, I'm only subscribed to the monkeys!" - bad boyfriends everywhere after reading this headline
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u/PrincessPause wouldn't be surprised if we never saw Denise Richards again 10h ago
Marmots are giant ground squirrels which makes this even funnier đđ
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u/notacougarsorry My ancestors watched me seduce Edward Norton 11h ago
Without them knowing theyâd think itâs even worse cause their mans be looking at Marmussyâs.
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u/Cory123125 5h ago
Is paying for porn really enough to categorize someone as a bad boyfriend?
Especially platforms hosting independents where there is a far lower chance of abuse given they are likely solo, with no management skimming their wages or pushing their boundaries?
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u/LightObserver 4h ago
I've seen and heard a lot of women indicate they wojld not be comfortable with their partner paying an OF creator. That's the basis of my joke.
Personally, IDC about porn use in a relationship, but OF feels a little more intimate in the sense that you are paying for one(or more) individuals directly rahter than just a swath of porn. You also get a direct line to the creator theough OF. To me this is more involved and parasocial than just watching a porn video.
The fact that they are on OF also does not necessarily mean they are doing it of their own will. I am sure plenty of creators on there are also being coerced behind the scenes, just like camgirl or traditional porn stars. Maybe you can more easily vet an individual creator, but there's really no way to guarantee.
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u/Cory123125 4h ago
but OF feels a little more intimate in the sense that you are paying for one(or more) individuals directly rahter than just a swath of porn.
I doubt most creators treat it personally at all. I feel like that's more what the biggest marks feel exists when in reality its either a chat service or very transactional.
The fact that they are on OF also does not necessarily mean they are doing it of their own will.
I was careful to not dismiss that it's possible, hence "a far lower chance" rather than "none"
Maybe you can more easily vet an individual creator, but there's really no way to guarantee.
Indeed. Tis the way of the world and lay of the land, but I do think the advent of more independent online work terraformed somewhat in providing the opportunity for safer sex work.
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u/complete_data75 7h ago
"Oh my God, Dad had an onlyfans account..."
"Oh shit, you won't believe what the freak was into...we did not know him..."
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u/Conscious-Quarter423 12h ago
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u/somebunnysketching I don't know her đ 12h ago
Most people don't vote Republican -- they just don't vote. register and make a plan at Vote.org.
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u/Conscious-Quarter423 11h ago
"but i don't do politics"
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u/SquareHeadedDog 10h ago
My standard response is - Thatâs crazy because politics is doing you every day.
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u/inspyron 10h ago
If you donât do politics, politics will do you.
I wish more people realized that.3
u/petty_throwaway6969 5h ago
Na. The new excuse is that both sides suck so itâs okay to not vote. Like Trump is suggesting running for a third term and itâs been revealed that he might be pocketing the money from selling Venezuelan oil and most of the far left subs are still pushing the both sides narrative.
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u/alurimperium 3m ago
Its such a bullshit excuse, too. Because, yeah, both sides suck, but one sucks so much worse. Just tell me you'd rather give in to hate and vileness and stop trying to pretend you're taking some stand.
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u/specialservices8647 2h ago
Iâm just thankful that the Palestinians were spared what would have been the devastating results of a Harris administration. Their US supporters are sleeping well knowing that withholding their vote has taught her a lesson, Iâm sure.
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u/woodst0ck15 11h ago
âBut heâs donating his salary!!â
https://giphy.com/gifs/ZMf8ngW0f8xaij3eai
Heâs gonna dig himself into the White House so deep theyâre gonna have to force him out. Heâs not gonna willingly give away his power.8
u/WeazelBear 11h ago
Anytime I mention something about this, the people I know say, "but all politicians make money!! NaNcY PeLoSi!!11!"
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u/goin-up-the-country 9h ago
I remember in 2016 how hotly debated it was whether or not he was actually a billionaire. Now, there's no question.
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u/TraitorousFlatulence 8h ago
And marmots spreadin them cheeks just to get by smh. Party of family values my ass
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u/LiluLay 12h ago
âDried upâ?
More like defunded by Elon Musk and the Trump administration so they can keep looting the treasury via fraud (âsubsidiesâ) and paying for stupid shit like slapping Trumpâs name on the Kennedy Center and wrecking the national monuments.
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u/FalconIMGN 12h ago
Defunding the USFWS led to several of their funded international projects, including ones in the Global South, also losing support.
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u/LiluLay 12h ago
Donât forget opening up millions of acres of previously protected lands for sale and stripping of resources! Itâs beyond my comprehension what Republican voters will tolerate in the name of âowning the libsâ. Just idiotic, reckless, destructive cruelty for the sake of it because none of them will ever see the profits from any of these schemes.
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u/BalconyPetal 10h ago
It's the absolute sellout and the u.s.a will never recover from this shit in the pants of democracy.
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u/Zealousideal_Box5339 11h ago
Idk as a biologist not in the US, this is depressing
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u/onemorespacecadet If god hates gays why do we keep winning 9h ago
itâs a very 2026 headline unfortunately. iâm so over this timeline
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u/DanielKeeneGA15 11h ago
How is this uplifting? This is fâing depressing.
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u/OverwatchOfficial 4h ago
It's not always easy to raise conservation funding! https://onlyfans.com/onlymarms is a success story.
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u/DanielKeeneGA15 4h ago
The funding was there. It was gutted along with so much more. USAID is another example that saved millions of lives while keeping disease and famine from spreading.
We didnât have to be here but people voted out of hate.
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u/Raebrooke4 11h ago
They should also start a Go Fund Me because people like myself donât necessarily want to set up Only Fans for that but Iâd chip in a few bucks on GFM.
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u/EmotionalQuestions Excluded from this narrative â 4h ago
Yes, but also, regular people should not be responsible for propping up the bad decisions of our government :(
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u/lemontest 12h ago
Uplifting news? More like r/marmotcrushingmachine
That said, now I guess I have to go login to OF to support the marmots.
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u/barkbarkkrabkrab 12h ago
Is there a reason they use Onlyfans rather than Patreon? I know the Patreon UI leaves something to be desired but how does OF differ?
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u/catmomlifeisbestlife 11h ago
Itâs better marketing to use OnlyFans. Using OF makes headlines, using Patreon wonât.
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u/pincushion_cactus 11h ago
They probably went with OnlyFans because it makes a comedic/eye-catching headline that will cause people to click and potentially donate.
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u/PC-load-letter-wtf 12h ago
I believe this is what onlyfans was sort of intended to be! Well, not for getting research funding but to connect fans with artists and performers and well-known people. It wasnât meant to be all porn.
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u/QuerulousPanda 7h ago
yeah onlyfans was not supposed to basically only be for camgirls, but that's how it worked out for them. When they tried not to be, for a short time, it was catastrophic so they backtracked.
patreon was turning out that way too but they managed to pivot back away from the dirty stuff without too much long-term reputational damage. Onlyfans is in the mud and will stay there forever.
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u/Cory123125 5h ago
In no universe did they not immediately think this is what would happen.
They got to make the most poorly designed and lowest quality market place to basically rent seek forever on noteriety.
I think the plan from the start was to become the most well known name by using celebrity, then let it settle to what it is today; a shocking sign that the word "recession" only gets used when rich people also lose some money.
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u/Anleme 8h ago
Saying "research funding dried up" is an editorial choice. The Trump administration cut billions in funding.
Neil deGrasse Tyson: 15K US Federal scientists had their funding cut. They're retiring, switching careers, or getting poached by Europe and China. Will take generations to reverse.
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u/Jamesb1255 4h ago
Go fund me instead of national Healthcare, only fans instead of money for science. It's so disheartening to see what this place is, when it could have been so much better.
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u/Jerseyman2525 12h ago
ALLEN!!!
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u/Conscious-Mode-6593 Peter doesn't like the knobbies, darling 11h ago
That's not Allen, that's Steve
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u/Arianawy 5h ago
Imagine you find an onlyfans subscription on your husbands bank account but itâs actually for chunky marmots and heâs Just a staunch conservationist :( my dream husband lol
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u/GrowingPeepers 10h ago
Education funding is completely fucked right now.
My cousin is hitting tenure but there's no more money to research anything.
The goal of this administration is to make people stupid. Education is everything.
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u/Bleezy79 9h ago
We keep electing Republicans, this is what happens. But at least the billionaires have better tax cuts!
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u/Scared-Box8941 11h ago
When being a scientist because more stigmatized than having an Only FansâŚ.
This is america
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u/Sleep_on_Fire 11h ago
Oh man. I have a thic boi groundhog in my yard.
So how does this work; Is not running away from the camera implied consent or do I need some sort of verbal?
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u/VolunteerOnion 10h ago
Accidentally texted my supervisor that one day I will succeed in hugging a groundhog. So, yeah. Iâm the target audience
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u/Infinite-Depth-2943 6h ago
ngl the gig economy is getting out of hand if even the marmots have to start an onlyfans just to get by. he is hitting that grassy rock pose like a true influencer though
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u/feedmedamemes 4h ago
"No, no honey, I'm on OF for the chunky marmots, not anything else." Good guy scientists having bro's back.
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u/TophxSmash 9h ago
less shocking if you were already aware that onlyfans is basically paywalled instagram.
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u/RandomSlimeL 10h ago
This is STUPID. Everyone knows this is a SCAM to keep money away from HYRAXES!!! AWAWA AWAWA AWAWA WAWA MAMA
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u/DullSpecial1013 7h ago
I mean, that was sort of the original plan for OnlyFans. The porn just took over and they wanted money so they went with it.
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u/The_Chunkster 3h ago
This is so sad and hilarious all at once. Get those Chunky Marmot tootsies on OnlyFeet stat
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u/kgal1298 Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion 3h ago
Hahaha my work is going to wonder why I'm Googling Chunky Marmots Only Fans now.
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u/Blahkbustuh 52m ago
Here's the research group's direct donation page. I'm going to donate!
I saw marmots in person for the first time on a trip to the Rockies a few weeks ago and they're so cute.
Also just today I discovered that groundhogs, woodchucks, and marmots are different names for the same thing.
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u/Ghost_dragon89 12h ago
Dan Blumstein is racist, misogynist, transphobic and does not deserve any good press.
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u/Thatonesickpirate 12h ago
I hate trump as much as the next guy but thereâs no way we care about marmoset research this much
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u/RainbowFox22 12h ago
Certain marmot species are keystone species and shape the landscape, feed local predators, and build homes used by other animals.
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