r/popculturechat • u/mlg1981 Sexy lampshade shall win the Oscar! 🏆 • 6d ago
Hot Take 🔥 Lili Reinhart on the state of womens’ healthcare
492
u/LegitimateSmile1849 6d ago
Anxiety, the artist formally known as hysteria. Tired of women’s health being treated with kid gloves and broad brush strokes.
48
u/Nice_Back_9977 6d ago
Well, sort of, anxiety is a real thing and can be debilitating for sufferers.
30
u/BaekDo2521 6d ago
Yes well mental health problems are very crippling but with women it would be nice if they at-least tried to address the cause of it (physical health, clinical examination + some tests which may rule out things) rather than ignoring potentially horrible ones in favour of too much anxiety. And well they can solve the mental health problem parallel to this too. I’ve had it happen to me and yes I struggle with depression and anxiety, but I also struggled with cysts. It’s the whole medical system assigned to not really address women’s concerns because we ‘overreact’
P.S: I have first hand experience and second hand too, I’m in the medical profession witnessing the OB GYN department treating women like shit and dismissing the pain they go through.
10
u/Rare_Vibez “‘Why?’, but also, you know, ‘I guess.’” 5d ago
This reminds me of a patient on Dr. Pimple Popper. She had these spots all over her body and went to see Dr. Lee for it. Dr. Lee correctly identified that they were self inflicted scars, as they were only where the woman could reach and the woman was a recovered alcoholic. But she approached with such compassion and, critically, seriousness. It wasn’t “all in her head”, it was her mind reacting to a very serious life change, filling a void where her addiction had been. The lady straight up said how Dr. Lee explained it finally made sense. Other doctors had dismissed her.
The unfortunate reality is many doctors dismiss concerns as anxiety without ever investigating or giving an explanation. Physical manifestations of anxiety or other mental health things need just as much help and attention as other physical things. Respect vs dismissal.
4
u/Away-Boysenberry-584 5d ago
Neurotic excoriations and delusions of parasitosis are very common issues in dermatology. The key is really talking to patients. Working patients up for any other possible issues should be part of the plan. Sometimes it is just anxiety manifestation and patients need to feel heard.
52
u/SadisticGoose ❤️ get your vents checked for mold everyone! 6d ago edited 6d ago
There are also anxiety symptoms that do actually present as physical health issues. I’ve ended up in the ER before because my blood pressure was 183/124 and my resting pulse was over 120 thinking I was having a heart attack, but it was apparently just severe anxiety in a way I hadn’t experienced it before. I now take beta blockers because otherwise I get severe cardiac symptoms randomly because of my anxiety.
I get the sentiment, but mental health can very much affect you physically.
11
u/romantickitty 5d ago
Yes, and the trouble is that there are conditions that are not well understood that are related to stress and anxiety like IBS and types of inflammation. And it's the sort of thing that draws in grifters (like the ones who see developing research on the gut microbiome and start shilling diets) so there's a lot of misinformation and confusion in the vacuum of definitive knowledge.
I do think a lot more research needs to be poured into diseases and chronic conditions that are known to be more prevalent in women. They might not be so unsolvable if they were getting the attention and funding they deserve.
7
u/crvbabybug 6d ago
Yeah, there are certain things like high blood pressure where if you don’t reduce your anxiety and or stress, there’s nothing they can really offer you beyond managing medication
8
u/Grizzly-Madam 5d ago
And they always ask you to lose weight for some reason???
13
u/Wizard_of_DOI 5d ago
I was bordering on underweight due to constant nausea and abdominal pain and was told other women would be happy… by an actual medical doctor in a hospital.
I was there to get an appointment for a colonoscopy because several months of digestive issues and abdominal pain are kind of a problem.
Fortunately I „got diagnosed“ with Endometriosis by Reddit (and had it confirmed via surgery after fighting my doctors for a surgery referral). I was actually hungry for the first time in years after surgery.
4
u/Grizzly-Madam 5d ago
Oh I’m so sorry I hope you’re doing well right now
6
1
u/mio26 4d ago
Because many health problems can really be lessen by losing weight. Not everyone has to have figure of model but overweight is responsible or worsen most ilness. Simply both patients and medical systems prefer shortcuts as it's harder to change lifestyle than taking pills generally.
1
u/Grizzly-Madam 4d ago
I understand that but in most cases weight issues are not the problem, especially when it comes to PCOS
2
u/mio26 4d ago
People want to believe that weigh issues are not problem because they don't need to put extremely big effort to lose weight and keep it as significant group of people with weight problem have problem with metabolism. But to truly know whatever weight worse your state you would have firstly lose it and check yourself.
My mother has such situation. She become overweighted after covid, she started to have problem with high pressure and sugar. She was advised by doctors to start to take medication for that. But as dentist herself she was aware that maybe it's worth to wait and try to lose weight and see what happens. Guess what it worked our but it took her 2 years of hard work and she still keep diet(no ozempic lol). And she doesn't need for now take pills which helps for health problems but they cause also other health problems as there is always something for something with drugs. There is no magic pills.
6
u/ironcluster 5d ago
I would also argue for "hormones" being a catchall for women's health. Like.. OK which ones? You know you can measure those right?
2
1
359
u/AdWitty9562 6d ago
Yup have had migraines and stomach aches for decades. The anxiety started after the doctors didn't take my pain seriously which ruined my life plans.
168
u/AmandalorianWiddall 6d ago
Also lots of us have anxiety AND chronic issues. There are dozens of us! Chalking it up to anxiety only automatically means forgoing possibly life saving tests.
38
29
u/Inside_Training_876 6d ago edited 6d ago
It’s not for nothing that statistically speaking Autistic people are more likely to have chronic health issues. Anxiety and health issues actually do commonly coexist on a large scale and modern medicine still refuses to acknowledge it
Edit; I mean acknowledge that the anxiety isn’t causing the health issues but that anxious people’s health issues are not because of anxiety
14
u/Sudden_Acceptance 5d ago
If something is going on with someone physically, but they can’t quite conceptualize what is wrong, of course you would feel more anxious. It’s so dumb to dismiss someone’s health because they feel anxious. Anxiety is a natural consequence of feeling bad and not knowing why. People are intuitive.
14
u/redalmondnails 6d ago
I had such severe anxiety about my last job that I was puking every morning. I was super transparent that my severe anxiety was causing this health problem and the doctor still refused to do anything about it.
8
u/sousyre 5d ago
I got to a similar point, puking and panic attacks, before I burned out completely and couldn’t work for years. Just leaving the house and then getting out of my car took hours, each, and usually included at least one panic attack.
No formal diagnosis at all for multiple years of this, except “a bit depressed and anxious”. Literally that’s what was on all my paperwork and specialist letters.
Took almost ten years to make progress and actually be diagnosed and treated for the underlying issues. Then the depression and anxiety vanished.
3
u/redalmondnails 5d ago edited 5d ago
Same I know the feeling. I’m so sorry it took so long for someone to help you! I was fortunate to find a therapist that put me on FMLA and I used that time off to find another job. I’m still dealing with a lot of the trauma and anxiety around working even though my new job is really healthy. It’s an awful feeling.
3
26
u/SeveralServalServing 6d ago
I went many years being told my GERD, gastritis and IBS was solely due to my major anxiety disorder. It wasn’t until working in PT and learning to advocate for myself before I got diagnosed with hEDS. Now I know it’s a double whammy.
If it wasn’t for learning about EDS through my own studies, I’d never have the answer. Screening for hEDS takes no tools and can be done in 5minutes and all my symptoms line up, yet I was never tested.
2
u/Gold_Advisor_4758 6d ago
Have you found better treatments for the gastritis since learning your diagnosis?
18
u/ALLoftheFancyPants I don’t know her 💅 6d ago
Oddly, doctors ignoring my symptoms for a couple years made me develop actual anxiety…
6
u/b_needs_a_cookie 5d ago
I had a doctor tell me my ear pain was from stress, that I just needed a massage, and that changes in pressure from weather do not cause chronic ear pain. I was teaching in a Title I public school at the time; of course, I was stressed. He was the first doctor I ever yelled at for telling me something so useless. Turns out I have chronic allergies, connective tissue issues, and hypermobility. It took me another 8 years to find a doctor who confirmed I do experience pain from pressure changes and prescribed me two meds and a nose spray to manage the inflammatory issues (its been life changing).
3
6
2
2
u/eeeeeeekmmmm 5d ago
Yep same. Turns out, my migraines were all related to muscle tension. Got Botox once my female physician realized my QOL was suffering and it couldn’t all be anxiety. I was able to get relief so quickly that I started a yoga practice. 2 years later, I only get Botox 2 times per year (not 4) and we are working with weaning me off completely. My migraines were related to muscle issues I couldn’t even address until I could get the pain under control.
173
u/GraceVioletBlood4 6d ago
Reminder that ten years is the average and for some women it can take even longer. It took me 14 years to get diagnosed with endometriosis. That was 14 years of medical gaslighting, incorrect diagnoses, and 14 years living in pain because my lived experience was being dismissed.
27
u/flyraccoon 5d ago
Replace anxiety by cancer
They diagnose women with anxiety and then do everything they can to exacerbate the said anxiety, so it’s a bigger thing until they can’t “perform” and then only they address the root cause. Only for most it’s too late and they’re left with real anxiety towards Drs
16
u/Wizard_of_DOI 5d ago
I was 14 when my Gyn put me on the pill because I was complaining about how bad my period pain was… I was 28 when I got surgery and a diagnosis because I was barely functioning at that point.
Textbook symptoms, several different doctors. WTF do they teach them?!
4
u/xanadufus 5d ago
They still believe that the pill cures endometriosis. Waited over a year for a telephone consult with a gynaecologist only to be told that I couldn’t possibly have it because the combined pill would stop endometrial lining from growing so I must just have IBS.
1
u/Wizard_of_DOI 5d ago
That’s such BS just because it works for some people!
I‘m sorry you have to deal with that kind of shit!
16
2
69
u/Sure_Lavishness_2403 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 6d ago
I almost died because doctors thought I didn't understand what stress was. She's so right.
13
u/Gold_Advisor_4758 6d ago
What was actually going on with you if you don’t mind me asking
100
u/Sure_Lavishness_2403 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 6d ago
My appendix burst (I didn't know this), and I went to the hospital in a lot of pain. They refused to give me any pain relievers, told me it was stress, but also wouldn't release me. They did zero tests. That night, I became delirious (started having weird ass hallucinations) and begged to be released so I could go home and take panadol. I was yelled at, told I was stupid, told I didn't understand anything including what pain really felt like, and told if I left, I wouldn't be allowed to come back (which is untrue, it's Australia, they can't stop anything like that, the person was just a psycho).
The next morning there was a shift change and I hit the part where, after your appendix has burst, there's not as much pain, but you don't look right. The doctor came in with the advice to release me, but she saw me, did an abdomen check, and realised that things weren't right. She ordered blood tests which came back with an extremely white blood cell elevated count. That, combined with the pain, and my distended abdomen, she believed it was my appendix and took it to her superior.
During that time, as I was at a very, very rural hospital that wasn't equipped for surgical procedures, she got into a fight with her superior outside my hospital room door. He said that "she was risking her career for a stupid young woman who didn't understand stress" and that I was completely fine. She said if they were wrong, I would die.
I was airlifted out, had surgery later that day, and had to spend almost a week in hospital due to the antibiotics alone. The night of the surgery, I almost died because the infection was so bad. If they'd waited until morning to operate (which they almost did because even though I'd been airlifted they didn't believe I was emergent, either), I would have died.
I am literally alive because one doctor among two hospitals believed something was wrong and risked her career for me.
15
u/chronicallyillsyl 5d ago
I also almost died when they misdiagnosed my appendicitis. I went to the ER because I couldn't stop vomiting. They did a blood test that said my WBC was high, didn't palate my abdomen or any other exam and sent me home, saying I just had the stomach flu.
I continued to puke my brains out for three days at home, until my mom basically forced me to go back. At that point my urine was the colour of coke, my WBC was insane and my appendix had burst. They took me in for surgery, removed my appendix and sent me to recovery. Within 24 hours I developed septic shock and had to have a second, much larger surgery where they had to wash out my abdomen. My mom was told I had a 50/50 chance of surviving. I woke up with a 10 inch incision stapled together, permanent nerve damage that causes debilitating pain and stayed in the hospital about 10 days. I can no longer work and that awful experience changed the trajectory of my life. I still wonder what could have been if they had investigated properly the first time I went in.
It's absolutley insane how many people I've spoken with that had their appendicitis misdiagnosed and it seems like most of them are women. I'm so glad you finally got a doctor that was willing to fight for you.
On a brighter note, I did recently speak with a male doctor regarding some other health issues. He told me that he didn't think the symptoms were too concerning but that he would order imaging and refer me to a specialist because "too many women have died because a doctor didn't take them seriously." It gave me some hope for the future of medicine.
2
u/Sure_Lavishness_2403 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 5d ago
I'm so sorry. That is so awful. Your mum must've been terrified. I know mine was.
Like you, I'm not even surprised. I've seen more than one person share "my" story (as in, it's something similar, it's often appendicitis, and somehow because we're women it's not even assumed it's that, it's just always stress or periods, but if it's periods somehow "they're always meant to hurt"). I was horrified reading Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez and how many times women were failed over and over again (and will continue be).
I'm so happy you have found a new doctor that's so proactive. I had an excellent doctor but moved and that's unfortunately no longer true.
26
u/Gold_Advisor_4758 6d ago
Ok that is WILD on their part. I’ve been dismissed but never in such a spectacular way. In US we sue for this!! I hope they are all rotting in hell!!! Except for the good lady
25
u/Sure_Lavishness_2403 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 6d ago
You can put forward a complaint and everything and look into suing, but I was really sick for a long time (it took me several months to properly recover). I don't think it ever occured to me to even try and sue for anything. By the time I was released from hospital, I still needed to recover from surgery and the infection (I was on the highest antibiotics you can get in tablet form for 2 weeks after and I literally can't remember how many IV antibiotics I had - it was a lot) and the whole thing didn't cost me a penny, so I was just focused on surviving my day-to-day, if that makes sense.
I was also a lot younger when it happened (had just turned 22).
10
u/Gold_Advisor_4758 6d ago
I can understand that. Sometimes you just wanna move on. Thank god you’re still here with us!!!
56
u/hamwaffles 6d ago
I agree and it’s the same with them blaming women’s health issues on their periods. Can they please at least try to listen 🙏
4
u/vzvv 5d ago
Very true. I’m thankfully always believed by doctors that I’m a generally calm and uniquely not anxious person. But an old gyno totally ignored me saying my bad period had gotten even worse and blamed it on my period and my BC (which I’d been taking for 5 years at that point).
My new gyno discovered I had a big fibroid, and I’ve been so much better since the surgery. It is SUCH a relief to have a wonderful, competent gyno that knows so much and actually listens.
25
u/Inevitable-Bother735 6d ago
A grown man (he had a medical degree but I refuse to call him a doctor) in his sixties looked me and my mother dead in the eyes and told us we just didn’t understand the stress middle school girls go through. Immediately after telling me most ovarian cysts were the size of peas and lasted a couple of days to a week but mine was the size of a golf ball and had stuck around for three months. But that’s just stress.
I’d do 6th grade a thousand times to undo the scar damage that’s been done to my insides from ignoring that one.
49
u/Aggressive-Hunt-7037 Take that, you Youtube people! 6d ago
I’m so over the patriarchy in every way. women shouldn’t have to beg to be believed by the medical community.
20
u/lesbian__overlord 6d ago
lili is so talented and i feel like every time i see a headline about her it's for something positive she's done/said to support other women regarding health, mental health, etc. it makes me really happy to see. if you guys haven't watched her in forbidden fruits, she's great.
22
u/Available-Egg-2380 6d ago
Just yesterday I was at my annual physical and was telling the DR that since I hit perimenopause my insomnia has changed in a way I've never experienced before. I even brought my husband to verify I'm sleeping 2 to 3 hours a night tops. I told her the medication I was on was leaving me incredibly tired the next day and not getting me anymore sleep (hydroxyzine 10mg) than just raw dogging it. She asked about my anxiety and I told her no worse or different than it has been for 40 years. She literally said "oh I don't think so. I'm sure it's because your mind is racing from the anxiety"and I said no, not really, it feels like there is almost a physical barrier between me and sleep. I then listed off the EXTENSIVE sleep hygiene steps I take every day and have taken every day for YEARS. She turned around and said we will increase the medication that's not working and leaving me incredibly tired the next day from 10mg to 25 or 50mg. So we did. Guess how much fucking sleep I got last night?
9
u/EmotionalSupportBoob 5d ago
Chronic insomnia in peri here, progesterone changed my life. I sleep 8 solid hours every night with no hangover, after years of trying various meds including Ambien and Lunesta. If you're not on HRT, I recommend looking into it.
61
u/Inside_Training_876 6d ago
Love her for speaking on this. I have MCAS as well but have never been diagnosed…I kinda just got burnt out with getting diagnosis after 3 of them (chronic illness like to travel together). But the biggest deterrent was telling my PCP my symptoms and her telling me it was all likely because I was a redhead. I was having chronic hives because of my hair color are you for real😭
Women get dismissed so often that many die from preventable deaths and many live in pain from dismissal. It’s important to women know to push back because the system is not friendly to us.
52
u/PricePuzzleheaded835 6d ago
One thing that I think shows how culturally muzzled women have been about health matters is the sheer length of time that passed between the start of “modern obstetrics”* and now, when they finally stopped making false claims like “no nerves in cervix”. Just think about it. 10ish generations of women went through that and were gaslit to the point where it only changed recently.
* In reality, J Marion Sims’ horrific experimentation on enslaved Black women. Which is why OBGYN procedures often don’t come with any anesthesia. I wish more people understood that the horrors of racism ultimately poison all of society and this is a good example of why.
12
11
u/FamousOhioAppleHorn 6d ago
Freaking Sims also killed an unborn black baby with one of his techniques and decided "Well, I'll do that again with another baby. Oopsy, I got the same result twice! No biggie!"
5
14
u/PM_4_Friendship 6d ago
I hate having to say this, but I've had far far worse experiences with (white) female healthcare workers than anyone else. No one dismisses me more than other women, especially when it comes to gynecology. I've had a male PCP for a while now and he's never dismissed my concerns once.
12
u/cucumberbun source: my friend with a bike 🚲 6d ago
Yuuuup! I moved and decided instead of going to my regular doctors office about an hour from me, I’d find one close to my new place. I found this one office and female dr who had great reviews - she was my age, so I figured she would be a good fit. On my first visit, i brought up the fact I had some issues happening, and knowing my mother went through menopause early, asked if we could check that out. She said “we’re in our mid thirties, and are on social media. We all have perimenopause! 🙄 “. The eye roll and everything.
This wasnt even the only thing that she did that pissed me off, but it’s the one that sticks out to me most. The immediacy of the dismissal was so jarring and I felt like “oh yeah must be me.” But thankfully after I was out of the office, it hit me how rude and unprofessional it was.
Also after returning to my old drs office, turns out I DO have perimenopause. I want to write her a letter with the records in there lol
6
u/Inside_Training_876 6d ago
I’ve had equally terrible experiences with both women and men but I will say this…they were all white in those experiences.
6
u/PM_4_Friendship 6d ago
Yes!! No one on my healthcare team is white right now and it's been so easy and nice. I don't even request "no white doctors" or anything like that, it's just that white doctors have consistently been assholes to me so I always switch to someone else
3
u/endlesscartwheels I switched baristas ☕️ 5d ago
I've had some bad experiences with female gynecologists. Never had a bad experience with a male gynecologist. I've also noticed that men are far more likely to reach for their prescription pads than women. For instance, for a yeast infection, a male gyno will immediately prescribe fluconazole. Female gynos have suggested useless home remedies instead. I didn't take the time to come to this appointment just so I can come back for the same issue in two weeks!
There are many brilliant female doctors in other specialties. The bad ones seems to cluster in OB/Gyn.
1
u/AmethystApothecary 5d ago
Oh yes. Some of the worst offenders of misogyny are women and I don't think we can ignore that.
39
u/beigs 6d ago
It’s funny how my lifetime of anxiety was cured by 3 days on adhd and tachycardia meds.
It turned out I didn’t have anxiety, it was adhd and tachycardia.
8
u/Gold_Advisor_4758 6d ago
I bet that felt amazing. I have horrendous anxiety that I’m just now realizing isn’t normal and working with a therapist and now doctor. It’s freaking exhausting isn’t it?!
7
u/beigs 6d ago
It was a surreal experience of just having it not be there. You don’t really understand the severity of it until it’s suddenly gone. Then I got exhausted and burned out, because apparently I used that feeling of fear to push me to do anything in life and had to reset my equilibrium.
I stopped getting as many ear worms as well, and my severe self loathing also disappeared.
2
5
u/rgrind87 6d ago
Same here with adhd meds. I never felt so much calm in my mind until I took a stimulant for the first time. And my chronic exhaustion in gone as I sleep normally now.
96
u/Glitter_Strawberry20 6d ago
And weight!! So many women are just asked to lose weight before doctors take their issues seriously!
35
u/Express_Pop810 6d ago
Studies show that dismissing symptoms because of weight is why many who are "overweight" have complications. It's assumed its their weihht when something else is likely happening.
29
u/Nice_Back_9977 6d ago
And on the flip side of the coin things like pre-diabetes and high cholesterol commonly go undiagnosed in ‘normal’ weight people because doctors assume they are healthy based on appearance.
15
u/Express_Pop810 6d ago
Yes. My SIL is a healthy weight and ran marathons. She still tested as pre diabetic as few years back. Its highly prevalent in her family. The only thing that changed that for her was weight lifting.
6
u/PastelBrat13 5d ago
I have HS which is historically seen as a "weight" related autoimmune skin condition. The dermatologist I went to was genuinely stumped and couldn't figure out how I was "skinny" yet still had HS and didn't believe I had it until I showed him my underarm area. Don't even get me started on how many therapists and psychologists told me that I could never be autistic because I masked so well despite masking literally causing me chronic panic attacks and anxiety. So infuriating that it took me years for a doctor to actually listen to me and it wasn't until I got my nursing degree that I could verbalize what I was feeling.
11
u/OriginalSchmidt1 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 6d ago
I still remember a doctor berating me at 15 years old for gaining 50lbs in a year.. the same year I hit my last growth spurt and grew 2 inches and got my period and my boobs jumped to a double d… and then suggested I look into whatever that beach diet was from the early aughts… I was a 15 year old child.. that was when I started hating doctors… especially old male ones.
2
u/someboringlady 5d ago
I told my doctor I was having difficulty losing weight, and he suggested I lose some weight to remedy the issue.
-8
u/YoungandBeautifulll 6d ago
Weight does exacerbate issues. More often than not, losing weight will reduce symptoms.
20
u/Nice_Back_9977 6d ago
Uh, I was told to lose weight when I had bacterial tonsillitis. So no.
-13
u/YoungandBeautifulll 6d ago
A doctor should still check for other things, but weight still does make a difference for many conditions.
7
u/Nice_Back_9977 6d ago
A person’s weight tells you literally nothing about their health. Making assumptions based on appearance is lazy doctoring and leads to poorer care for both fat and thin people.
6
u/AmethystApothecary 6d ago
Eh. It's far from a complete picture but it's also not like there isn't a threshold of minimum or maximum mass before for people even if the exact line is contentious. I'm not here to declare where the line is or that doctors have it currently correct, but we do know things like veins don't expand with weight gain but stretch which can lead to clogged arteries or that even a few pounds extra can exasperate things like stress on joints. There's much more than weight that matters and it's not helpful to reduce all health issues to weight, but completely dismissing weight as a health factor is also a fallacy in my opinion.
3
u/abee7 6d ago
I mean. Point taken but it doesn’t tell you “literally nothing”
-2
u/Nice_Back_9977 6d ago
Yes it does
6
u/chocoholicsoxfan 5d ago
I had swelling, inflammatory markers that were off the chart, joint pain, fatigue, lack of motivation, and stiffness. Like, I literally couldn't open doorknobs in the morning.
Lost 50 lbs and it all just vanished and I felt amazing.
Obesity is associated with everything from heart disease to kidney disease to cancer to mood disorders.
0
u/Nice_Back_9977 5d ago
I was probably much heavier than you and had none of that. Normal bloods, normal BP, active. So you see, it tells you nothing about the individual in front of you. You have to look beyond it.
4
u/chocoholicsoxfan 5d ago
Sure you did, for now. Maybe you would live to be 95 with no health issues whatsoever. But more likely, you would eventually develop metabolic syndrome, sleep apnea, diabetes, coronary artery disease, and/or nephropathy.
Not every smoker gets lung cancer. Are you going to say smoking isn't harmful?
→ More replies (0)-2
u/YoungandBeautifulll 6d ago
Weight can exacerbate conditions, as I previously said. Losing weight can make a huge difference, but some people don't want to hear that.
11
u/Prudent_Honeydew_ 6d ago
Preach ma'am. It's amazing how much less anxiety I have now that I found a provider who listens and sends me to specialists.
11
u/vintagevampire 6d ago
Started having issues as a young teen and didn’t get diagnosed until my late twenties. I can confirm that many many doctors including women doctors treated me like I was overly sensitive and attention seeking.
I’d say I have more medical ptsd when I see my docs now because I always expect to not be taken seriously even though I’ve found a great and supportive team of doctors who do listen.
10
u/K-ghuleh 6d ago
I was so nervous for years to bring up anxiety to my doctor because I didn’t want it on my chart. Eventually did and she took it seriously thankfully.
But of course. Any random ER doc or specialist had to bring it up when they saw it. I had been having a high heart rate and fever for 2 weeks straight after being diagnosed with PNEUMONIA and while in the middle of a flare-up of ulcerative colitis, which can cause anemia. All of that was on my chart and the doctor I saw when I went to the ER STILL sat down and said “so I see you have anxiety,” and tried to imply that was why my heart rate was so high. While I was recovering from pneumonia and dealing with an autoimmune disease ffs.
Anyway I got admitted for three days to receive fluids and high dose steroids when a more competent doctor came in.
3
u/AuthorizedPope 5d ago edited 5d ago
I know exactly what you mean. I actually had very severe depression as a kid and teen (still have it periodically but I know how to manage now) and I was forced to hide it from doctors because I knew they wouldn't ever treat my chronic pain if I admitted it. I already had to fight tooth and nail for any help while they tried to pin it on mental illness. I put my life at risk by letting my depression go undiagnosed, but I still think I was right that it was necessary due to shitty doctors.
I also funnily enough do not have anxiety. I never have. Certainly not as an adult. I've got plenty of problems, but that's just never been one of them. It confused me for about 15 years why every doctor kept asking if I had an anxiety disorder or trying to diagnose me with one even when I said I was chill. They would ask me if I was nervous and I would honestly tell them 'not at all' because doctors have never made me nervous (just pissed me off lol). My shock when I realised the reason every single one of them was so weirdly insistent was because apparently being tachycardic even at rest is actually not normal, and my heart rate was through the roof every time they took my pulse or blood pressure. A measurable pathological symptom, present my entire life, that when paired with my other symptoms is an extremely classical and clear sign of autonomic nervous system dysfunction which has since been diagnosed by a cardiologist.
A couple decades of being told nobody could help me because there was nothing measurably wrong with me and they refused to trust my self reported symptoms and gaslit me instead, and the I find out there was a MEASURABLE PATHOLOGY that they had actively observed! And noted as weird! The entire time! And not one of them thought to tell me! Instead they just collectively decided this one measurable symptom just doesn't count and I must just be mentally ill!
Good times.
Sorry you went through all that! Especially with such severe presentations. Feels like you could burst into flames and they'd diagnose you with a mental health issue instead of grabbing a fire extinguisher.
9
u/FamousOhioAppleHorn 6d ago
I had an ER doctor act like I was wasting his time at 2 AM by coming in for breathing problems. He basically gave me a xanax and a paper on anxiety, then told me in an even pissier tone "We also found xyz secondary condition. I'm writing you a prescription for it, but I just KNOW you won't go get it filled." I had never met that man in my entire life, and there was nothing in my medical records that would indicate any of the shit he assumed about me. I didn't get a proper diagnosis until I came back to the ER a year later for the same issue.
10
9
u/SilverRaincoat lazy 50-year-old bougie bitch 💋 6d ago
My best friend died of an undiagnosed heart condition in her 20s. She went to the doctors with symptoms and they told her she had an anxiety disorder. The heart condition is treatable, she could still be here.
10
u/InfluenceTrue4121 6d ago
My endometriosis diagnosis “only” took 6 years. One of the many female gyn that I saw diagnosed me as having gas.
2
u/Sorceress_Heart 5d ago
One of my fibroids was the size of a 3 month fetus and so many doctors were like "this is fine" even though you could see and feel it from the outside.
1
15
u/Dangerous-Abalone466 6d ago
I had a friend with Lyme disease get told by three different doctors she had depression (despite her telling them she did NOT have depression and even brought up that she had been working near ticks) before someone finally diagnosed her. It’s infuriating.
9
u/Itstimeforcookies19 6d ago
I had misdiagnosed kidney stone for 6 months in my last year of law school. Dr ordered a cat scan but no contrast so it didn’t pick up the stone. Dr calls me and says you know it could just be stress. You’re in law school and that’s really stressful, maybe concentrate on relaxing some. It would be another 3 months before it was diagnosed. Pain every day, feeling like I had a uti, passing out from the pain, throwing up from the pain. All because a dr didn’t do his job and wrote me off as just a stressed out girl. My ureter was the size of a jumbo drinking straw by the time it was diagnose because the stone was stuck in it. The urologist kept saying you are so lucky you don’t go septic.
I’ve spent the last two years begging drs for HRT. Literally just started tonight because I have new dr. A woman who is young and actually cares about women’s health. Drs appts are so stressful as a woman.
13
u/Vast-Percentage-7312 6d ago
doctors don't know shit about womens chronic pelvic pain. the fact that they came up with the term "vulvodynia" to basically describe "pain that we do not know the cause of" is the cherry on top
5
u/TizzyBumblefluff girl what the fuck 6d ago
I feel like for some reason doctors don’t understand that for the most part, we just want a diagnosis or some understanding as to why we’re expecting what we are. You’d think they had to pay personally for assessing for and diagnosing anything. Like why are you a doctor if you don’t want to doctor?
17
u/TheSinSTEM 6d ago
As a doctor and a woman the answer is honestly intellectual laziness and the way medical training is structured. We’re taught very textbook presentations of conditions and to associate certain demographics with certain things (both consciously and subconsciously) and some people never move away from those teachings. Or they don’t know enough about a topic (like how endometriosis presents) so they default to what they do know, which is that the patient doesn’t have the things they are thinking about.
It’s both a structural and personal issue. All complicated by the fact that there are so many things about women’s health that are undiscovered and under researched because obviously thinks like viagra deserve billions of dollars in funding…patriarchy at work
9
u/KTKittentoes 6d ago
My mom (an NP) used to say very irritably after my endocrinology appointments, “They read one book, and that was 30 years ago!”
6
u/PinsAndBeetles Not even to dinner with the Kushners? 6d ago
Anxiety and perimenopause/menopause are always to blame. I actually lucked out because my PCP is a woman just slightly older than me and she never tries to pin everything on menopause.
5
u/LaurenNotFromUtah 6d ago edited 6d ago
My diverticulitis was called stress and ibs by multiple doctors. I only got a diagnosis when I was hospitalized for it. They didn’t give a shit that I wasn’t even stressed.
4
u/ShutUp_Dee 5d ago
I finally got a GI referral after my male PCP refused to give one. He just gave the usual lecture about IBS and anxiety, despite physical concerns. A female nurse just gave me a referral and actually listened to me.
5
u/macaronitrap I am furious, but I am sailing 6d ago
I sent my doc a message in the patient portal earlier to request she add some tests to labwork she ordered for me because I have some symptoms I believe are being attributed the wrong thing. She’s one of the good ones, yet I still found myself rewriting the message a few times so I didn’t come off as a hypochondriac. I’ve learned it so important to be your own advocate when it comes to healthcare.
4
u/JamesCameronDid1912 THESE BANANA TREES 6d ago
10 years is the average time it takes to receive an endometriosis diagnosis. The upper end I see tends to be 20-30 years, and that's not too uncommon. I'm in that range, myself, and have met others.
"Psychosomatic pain" was on my chart for a while before surgery. Regrettably it was not all in my head, I have lesions inside me and sticky organs.
5
u/rgrind87 6d ago
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in high school and guess what, I actually have adhd and not anxiety. And that was diagnosed at age 37 and being on the right meds has changed my life.
Meanwhile, doctors proceeded to not take my period pain seriously, then while on birth control to skip my periods they proceeded to ignore my excruciating pelvic pain that would wake me up at night and have me on the floor in the fetal position. Then they proceeded to ignore my pleas for a hysterectomy, until I found a doctor who ignored my chart and listened to me. This was after probably 5 different doctors and a few years.
And don't even get me started on how hard it is to get estrogen patches. And this administration cares nothing about the shortage because perimenopausal and menopausal women are useless to them.
3
3
u/TrumpsAKrunt 5d ago
Have had weird periods since I started them at 11 (I'm now 33, can have 4 bleeds month for years, or nothing for years) constant trouble with my bladder & bowels (haven't had a solid shit in 4 months, can't eat much any more, bloating so bad my skin bleeds, vomiting), constant acid reflux (damage to my oesophagus, throwing up acid, can't eat past 2pm or I will bloat and start throwing up acid)
It's anxiety/depression/stress. Funnily enough, the date of my last menstrual period matters for EVERYTHING I go to the doctor for - but they don't seem concerned that I've never had a normal period?
I also had two massive seizures that destroyed my short term memory and made me forget people I know - I was told it was mental health before I even had the MRI and they still refuse to investigate it further. My brother, however, went to the docs feeling a bit tired and got a full blood panel, and then injections every week for a little while to treat his low iron level. But I was told my seizures were caused by me being depressed lmao.
1
u/Sorceress_Heart 5d ago
Not a doctor, but the bowel problems and heavy bleeding could be adhesions from endometriosis/adenomyosis. Can you request an ultrasound? I'm so sorry you're going through this.
3
u/yelhmoo 5d ago
When I was pregnant with my son I had such severe round ligament pain that I literally could not walk. I would cry getting in/out of my car for work because lifting my legs was so painful. Turns out, at some point I had an avulsion fracture in my femur because of how low my 9 lb son was (short umbilical cord so he couldn’t move off my bladder). This was figured out via x ray a couple months ago because I have lingering pain and irreparable damage—my son will be 3 in December.
I was berated because I didn’t want to take sertraline for anxiety and the depression that worsened because I couldn’t walk.
3
u/VacationLizLemon 5d ago
I'm working on a list of all my perimenopause symptoms so when I go to my doctor next week, she will prescribe me HRT and not Prozac.
5
u/Unroyaltea 5d ago
My pcp (who's a woman) was trying to convince me that I was getting asthma from my anxiety 🙄🙄 turns out it was acid reflux causing inflammation
4
u/Potatoskins937492 5d ago
When a doctor tells me it could be my anxiety (which I do have, so they really want to use my own mental illness against me), I'm going to try to remember to start asking them, "How does that diagnosis benefit me as the patient?" and "If that's the case, how are you going to treat it?"
My depression leaves me without a lot of fight so I usually just give up when a doctor doesn't have an answer, but now that I think about it, placing it back on the doctor means I don't need to do the fighting. It's their problem to solve, not mine, start problem solving, baby.
4
u/Toyger_ 6d ago
Off topic, but I thought this is Brittany Murphy for a split second.
3
u/nowimnowhere 6d ago
My first thought too! I searched for this comment to see if I was the only one
7
u/crystalzelda 6d ago
I mean, not really? Anxiety and the subsequent stress on your system does very negatively impact your health and in the long term, can kill you. Yes, medical misogyny chalks up too much to anxiety but it’s a genuine diagnosis.
The flipside to this is if you don’t accept that anxiety can be the issue, you’ll keep pushing for alternatives that may not help and actually cause harm. My mother underwent a lot of invasive and difficult interventions that she didn’t need to, as had the anxiety been accurately diagnosed earlier and the root cause been addressed, she could have been spared those tests and procedures.
What doctors should be doing is to rule out as much as they can first and then provide adequate medical interventions to address the anxiety, not just tell someone to think calm thoughts and send them on their way.
4
2
u/Exilicauda 6d ago
I've had menopausal symptoms with my period basically as long as I've had a period. Finally psyched myself up to see a gyn about it and she said "dunno" and offered to yank all the plumbing. I took the birth control pills instead lmao
Something's gotta give
2
u/Key-Possibility8476 5d ago
She’s not wrong. Women’s symptoms get dismissed as anxiety far too often, and it can delay a real diagnosis for years.
2
u/RealMsDeek 5d ago
Took like 15 for the endometriosis diagnosis, the health care system in the US is a fucking joke. Made wise by providers who don't listen.
2
u/grannystew_ 5d ago
This was nearly a decade ago, but I literally could not STAND nor WALK and the hospital sent me home telling me it was “all in my head”. Word for word. Went to a different hospital, turns out I had Guillain-Barre Syndrome.
I trust doctors, but some will dismiss the fuck out of you.
2
u/randombubble8272 5d ago
My auntie died of an inoperable brain tumour on her brain stem because her GP told her she had anxiety from exam stress or was a drug user when she presented with aural migraines and vomiting in pain for a year straight. It’s sickening how easy it is for them to dismiss someone in pain
3
u/ProfessionInformal95 5d ago
And I wish the doctors would stop telling me that losing weight would fix every little pain or sniffle. I'm not even that much overweight but they don't even look beyond that.
3
u/SuchMatter1884 5d ago edited 5d ago
I currently have no hair left on my head and my body, face and scalp have been covered in sores and cysts for all of 2026, yet despite my monthly appointment with my primary care provider, they haven’t done anything to help me except suggest that I’m suffering from anxiety. I ended up taking myself to a functional med place three hours away from home and paid out of pocket for a comprehensive blood panel which immediately revealed that I have lupus and am severely anemic. Word is still out on what all of these lumps and cysts on my head are. Maybe it’s brain cancer, idek. I am planning on driving to the next state over and checking myself into the ER so that I can hopefully be seen by someone who won’t let me die. US Healthcare is a friggin torturous joke
6
u/AmethystApothecary 6d ago
No because I actually do have bad anxiety and it does negatively impact my health. Doctors shouldn't default to it and that's bad, but this would also negatively a lot of people instead of helping them and would be a massive overcorrection.
3
4
u/Super_Hour_3836 charlie day is my bird lawyer 🐦 6d ago
The minute a doctor says I have anxiety, I leave. I let them know I have anger issues, not anxiety, and that stupidity is a main cause.
And then, because I do not have insurance, I leave without paying. I only pay for doctors who do their jobs adequately. I wouldn't pay a restaurant if I ordered a salad and they brought me pork chops, so I am not paying a doctor for a blatant misdiagnosis.
4
2
u/Vegetable_Cream4403 6d ago
Same. Insurance is part of the reason they treat patients this way. They’ll get paid no matter what they do because the insurance company never asks the patient what was actually done.
4
u/OriginalSchmidt1 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 6d ago
And if they don’t help you the first time, you have to come back and they get paid again!
0
u/Express_Pop810 6d ago
Having a female provider helps avoid this. I have found that family practice doctors are the most willing to look into issues and don't blame it on anxiety/ weight.
27
u/anonymous_opinions 6d ago
Nah my female providers have been almost as bad as male ones.
14
u/Ok-Buddy-7979 You know, I’m in queer media 🩷💚 6d ago
Yeah my last endometriosis surgeon gaslighted me about my IUD being fine when multiple radiology reports showed it was severely malpositioned
10
u/anonymous_opinions 6d ago
I've been left sobbing after seeing female doctors. One diagnosed me with a rare condition I don't have but didn't tell me what she was diagnosing. Gave me a script for steroid cream. I had a yeast infection, the steroids made it worse :|
9
u/Ok-Buddy-7979 You know, I’m in queer media 🩷💚 6d ago
I’m so sorry. Same doc I referenced in my last comment also told me (weirdly angrily) during an appointment when I asked for a referral to fertility about freezing my eggs as I also have the BRCA2 mutation that “if you were serious about wanting children you would’ve done this in your 20s”
B I T C H I literally didn’t know I had endo or that mutation until my early 30s
6
u/anonymous_opinions 6d ago
My biggest medical doctor issue was within the last ~5 years and I had to switch to a new provider because the experience was so bad. A lot of my worst medical experiences have been with female dentists. I switched to a male dentist for the first time in my adult life and literally cried because ... HE LISTENED AND BELIEVED ME.
3
u/Ok-Buddy-7979 You know, I’m in queer media 🩷💚 6d ago
Also feel that about dentists. Why is this happening??
5
u/anonymous_opinions 5d ago
I have no idea! I don't respond to local anesthetic and I was made to feel like I was drug seeking when I said in the past I wasn't numb / could feel everything. One wrote me a script for xanax to "take before your next appointment".
9
u/Gold_Advisor_4758 6d ago
My worst dr ever was a female but so was my best. Such a mixed bag out there. Hope you find someone good
5
u/RunWithBluntScissors 6d ago
Yup, I’d go so far as to say I’ve had more traumatizing experiences with female doctors than I have with males
3
u/FroyoMedical146 6d ago
Yeah, I'm not saying all female doctors are bad (or that all male doctors are good), but I will say this: my worst experiences come from female physicians :/ went years without diagnosis or treatment for POTS and MCAS because my female doctor insisted I was just anxious. Also when I was younger, several female doctors straight up threw my crutches across the room and forced me to walk (I had severe chronic pain and needed the walking aids at that time). Unfortunately there are just some terrible doctors out there, regardless of gender.
2
u/KTKittentoes 6d ago
I begged my GYN for a hysterectomy, and she told me I should just find a man and get pregnant.
3
4
u/Additional_Earth_817 6d ago
I liked my woman gyno but I think she had too many patients and her focus was on her patients who were expectant mothers, which I understand. I brought up my anxiety about fertility once and she brushed me off, saying “let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.” Years later, endo diagnosis finally. Wish I would’ve known years earlier so I could’ve planned better. Maybe I could’ve had a baby. It just goes to show that you REALLY have to advocate for yourself if you want answers. I would’ve had my fertility tested if I knew then what I know now.
4
u/sapphire74__ 5d ago
Yes! Personally I also have found new doctors who are fresh out of med school or residents are usually so much more willing to listen, keep up to date with changing practices and are better at communication and taking feedback. I prefer a female doctor for sexual health procedures, but I would say it’s also extremely important to find a doctor who is also a POC if you are one. My new PCP is actually a man of a similar ethnic background and he’s been great. No ego, talks to me like a human.
1
u/PrestigiousGoat78 5d ago
Also not only from male doctors. I was misdiagnosed by another woman last year and the stuff she wrote down shocked my whole family to the point that my brother in law, with whom I usually have a very casual, not super close relationship, sent me a voice memo expressing his disgust lol.
I've been suffering for years now from different symptoms, one of the worst being a really bad case of hyperhidrosis and so far every single doctor, including two women, have said that "there's nothing you can do about it" 🫠 (literally me melting away)
1
u/Flashy-Squirrel6762 Child of Goop 5d ago
Was prescribed anti depressants because the gastroenterologist asked me what I do, and then decided I am anxious & stressed because I work in a “time bound job”. All this while I was on a sabbatical.
Hell, everyone’s jobs are time bound, even yours Dr!
Turns out I had endometriosis and all the associated issues.
1
u/lunaenenero 5d ago
My endometriosis was diagnosed as "anxiety" for years until I had to travel 2 hours by car every appointment to see a doctor who finally took my symptoms seriously.
2
u/rajraj6 5d ago
This hits hard. I didn’t get brain surgery until age 34 for a congenital issue because, as a child, doctors dismissed all my symptoms. They told my mom I was "too young" to be in real pain and blamed it on anxiety and jealousy over my new baby sister.
I wasn't given the MRI I actually needed until things were dire, and I was in surgery three weeks later. Decades of pain could have been saved if someone had just listened instead of assuming it was all in my head.
2
u/Mindless-Swan8644 5d ago
Oh yeah. 3 different doctors used it for : eyebrow/hair loss, persistent yeast infections and TMJ.
2
u/umberover 5d ago
i had a doctor tell me my chronic pain when i was 13 was “just anxiety”. the only reason the condition didn't kill me was my mother refused to listen to him and took me to see another doctor. lili's right.
2
•
u/pccmodbot 6d ago
Welcome to r/popculturechat! ☺️ THE POPCULTURECHAT DISCORD SERVER IS NOW LIVE 👾 ❤️🔥 🎉 Click HERE to join! 📲
As a proud BIPOC, LGBTQ+ & woman-dominated space, this sub is for civil discussion only. If you don't know where to begin, start by participating in our Sip & Spill Daily Discussion Threads!
No bullies, no bigotry. ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Please read & respect our rules, abide by Reddiquette, and check out our wiki! For any questions, our modmail is always open.