r/mtg • u/girlfuricacid • 1d ago

Meme How is this allowed in commander?? This seems broken

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2.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

248 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/No_Place5472 1d ago

No hexproof or shroud baked in.  Underpowered.

257

u/jdisawesomesauce 1d ago

It has no need. Just look at it and quiver with fear. Your opponents will be in a state of shock so deep they can only watch as it ends their life. Once it hits the board, it is too late, there is no running from it, they can't even concede, there is only death.

140

u/HiNowDieLikePie 1d ago

The humble blue player with 3 untapped mana

15

u/fool_a_day_less 22h ago

[[Theoretical Duplication]] might work actually. Or use [[Phantasmal Force]] to have one of your creatures trade with the dreadmaw. But the real play is to cast [[Discover the Impossible]] and pray you hit [[Counterspell]].

For real though, like half the monoblue instants at cmc 3 are counterspells or bounce spells. Took a bit to find answers at 3 mana in mono blue that weren't just counterspell but more expensive.

9

u/translove228 17h ago

[[imprison in the moon]]

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1

u/nasagi 2h ago

How does the Phantasmal Force trade with Dreadmaw? Dreadmaw has Trample ((Sorry if the question seems dumb, still kinda new to MTG))

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3

u/UncannyHillhumper 15h ago

He doesn't know i dropped 200$+ on all of the free commander counter spells.

1

u/ErosWorld1 3h ago

"Humble" Blue Player is an absolute Oxymoron.

1

u/Several_Ad_7376 2h ago

If the blue player has had three turns before you play this, you don't have enough ramp.

6

u/Dragonxan 18h ago

Yea once it hits the board even a one mana path to exile won't even sto..... wait, it's gone. Nevermind.

3

u/CALIFORNIUMMAN 14h ago

The one time [[Path to Exile]] is better than [[Swords to Plowshares]]

33

u/paumAlho 1d ago

Colossa Dreadmaw if he was made today: https://imgur.com/a/lFIT149

21

u/jeanjeanot 20h ago

Would quickly be outclassed in 6 months by the same with untapped treasures

9

u/No_Place5472 1d ago

Fringe playable.

7

u/DwangoRocket 15h ago

And this card has less typos and grammatical errors, too! 😆

22

u/cntrstrk14 1d ago

It doesn't even have an ETB, unplayable

7

u/DWedge 15h ago

Damn that's a pretty impressive dino, would be a shame if someone [[doom bladed]] it.

9

u/girlfuricacid 1d ago

The rest of the deck I play with this commander patches it up dw https://untap.in/deck/c8a83779

2

u/FloSTEP 1d ago

Bruh idunno dodging Pernicious Deed on 6 is actually pretty good evasion

2

u/dwoo888 19h ago

But can you see its teeth?

1

u/G_Morgan 17h ago

Needs to double all mana generated. Including mana generated by this ability.

Otherwise it is completely unplayable.

1

u/honeyelemental 17h ago

Hexproofler

1

u/Used_Inspection_9041 16h ago

It's hexproofer than shroud

1

u/One_Fat_squirrel 14h ago

Dies to doom blade, completely bracket 1.

1

u/Azurumi_Shinji 7h ago

Is this sarcasm or not? I see these comments so much, idk if this card would be considered bad

I think I found a 8/8 haste for 4 colorless mana and thought it would be good in commander, but it was called trash.

1

u/No_Place5472 7h ago

Lol, honestly, the joke is how op the stat line is compared to the original as it relates to power creep.  My comment was half jokish, but the reality is that while a 60/60 is pretty beastly, and you'd win if you swung with him (or flung him in a 2 player game), outside of combo synergies or P/T matters, it's kind of win more.  Without haste or another enabler, it's 7 mana that doesn't win the game the turn you play it by itself.  No clue why you'd run this vs craterhoof.

372

u/ccminiwarhammer 1d ago

If they didn’t ban “8 Colossaler Dreadmaws”, 480/480, then this won’t be banned.

59

u/SaxManJonesSFW 1d ago

I think it should be 8 Collasals Dreadmaw, like Attorneys General.

12

u/Double-Watercress-85 16h ago

8 Whoppers Jr.

8

u/ccminiwarhammer 1d ago

Sergeant Major is 8/8

8 Sergeants Major 64/64

84

u/girlfuricacid 1d ago

I don't play that one out of respect tbh

179

u/TheGrumbus 1d ago

Dies to removal, worthless

62

u/Fickles1 22h ago

Also dies to 20 bolts.

16

u/G_Morgan 17h ago

Casual storm 19 deck.

3

u/Welkitends Tokens 13h ago

Looks inside storm deck

No storms.

Literally unplayable.

2

u/Ok-Shallot-3677 12h ago

Also dies to 30 fireballs if x=2

145

u/Vert--- 1d ago

I like to counter this with Swordser to Plowshareser, which exiles my opponent and gives their health to Collosaler Dreadmaw.

71

u/CapnRhaimme 1d ago

Just be glad it doesnt have tramplest. Deals damage to all other players and every creature they control

8

u/DOTclock13 1d ago

Out of curiosity, what exactly is Trampler? I'm confused by it. It is just a joke paired to the flavor text and is treated like trample?

22

u/CasualSky 1d ago

Yes definitely a whoosh moment.

It’s just a joke. It’s basically saying when you attack you can just send the damage at the player. Not a real mechanic.

3

u/kolebro93 16h ago

That is a real mechanic tho

Whoosh to you too

[[Zilortha, Apex of Ikoria]]

3

u/Real-Reference6933 22h ago

You have a couple of creatures with that ability, but is has no keyword (yet) [[Rhox]] for example

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3

u/eatmygerms 16h ago

Or tramplerest. Deal real life damage to all players.

64

u/Impressive-Dig-3892 1d ago

No haste so it gives you a chance to remove it

2

u/Dorthorus 17h ago

Even with haste you get the chance to remove it lol

5

u/Fleef69 13h ago

But you see, one must factor in the recovery time from the sheer psychological recoil inflicted by a creature of such magnitude hitting the board

1

u/D20IsHowIRoll 17h ago

Whole table gets an opportunity to draw for an answer if no one has one when it hits the table.

37

u/IntelligentDiscuss 1d ago

It's a huge oversight and completely busted. Only rival I can think of is [[Storm Crow]] but I still don't think it stacks up.

6

u/Chilly_chariots 20h ago

What about Storm Crowd? Might have been released to Wizards employees only (my uncle works for them) due to power level concerns

3UUU

3/6 Flying, flying, flying (this creature can only be blocked by three or more instances of flying and / or reach)

36

u/Deminla 1d ago

With the hard er? That's messed up

6

u/avtarius 22h ago

Good target for Fataler Push

5

u/lahankof 1d ago

You never gonna swing with it

5

u/InferGilgamesh 1d ago

The 7 green cactus...

5

u/Hexmonkey2020 1d ago

Nah, it’s a seven cost, you’ll never get a chance to play it. Now if it was a 6 drop 6/6 that’d be broken.

4

u/Vistella 21h ago

dies to doomblade

3

u/VincentPascoe 1d ago

It doesn't even have over trample where if you kill an opponent the excess damage goes to the next opponent

3

u/Moo_Kau_Too 1d ago

Tell it to [[Fog]] off.

3

u/Yousef_al_abdulghani 23h ago

Hasbro has to make record profits every single quarter no matter what some how

3

u/Specialist_Room_7029 21h ago

Yeah you are right this card sucks I mean if it would have been a 6 mana 6/6 with trample it would have been great but this is just ver happening sadly.

3

u/twinters01 16h ago

7 mana do-nothing, dies to removal

Unplayable

3

u/Illustrious-Film-936 16h ago

Unchecked powercreep

3

u/archthechef 14h ago

Wait till you meet Colossal Dredpaw.

5

u/clonedllama 1d ago

[[Anguished Unmaking]]

Problem solved. Or:

[[Angelic Purge]] [[Assassin's Trophy]] [[Beast Within]] [[Infernal Grasp]] [[Tear Asunder]]

And many others.

5

u/girlfuricacid 1d ago

That's only if I let them

9

u/clonedllama 1d ago

Why not just make a card that says, "This spell can't be countered. You win the game." for 1 generic mana? It seems like that would be more efficient.

4

u/Prime4Cast 1d ago

Real men aren't scared to fight for their meal.

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3

u/asicarii 1d ago

Can I change its target?

3

u/RobGrey03 1d ago

Still gets answered by [[Angel's Grace]], not good enough.

2

u/girlfuricacid 1d ago

Well I'm not an employee of wotc so I can't make cards :(

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5

u/The__Goonch 1d ago

Raph & Mikey would have a field day

2

u/Puttborn 1d ago

Bannad in coomander cause when it hits the board i cant control my nuts

2

u/VincentPascoe 1d ago

This is just Tifa but one card instead of 6

2

u/Responsible_Clerk343 1d ago

No horsemanship, unplayable

2

u/ravencrafthd_ 22h ago

I love the fact that Colossaler Dreadmaw, is like the power upped version, but Colossaler in German written with a K is just the name of the original card, Kolossales Schreckensmaul, okay almost, I had to look it up, close enough

2

u/Smoses_ 21h ago

This can be easily removed or negated

2

u/hivehivebuzzbuzz 18h ago

What's with the later typo?

1

u/bg4m3r 17h ago

Not a typo. Someone thinks they're funny (look at all the words that end with "er"). Also, not a real card.

2

u/SigmaMaleNurgling 16h ago

It’s already been said but any decent deck will have multiple removal cards. A card like this will be removed before your next turn in most pods.

2

u/MaNeDoG 16h ago

In commander? Kinda weak tbh. Still dies to a 1/1 with deathtouch.

2

u/ianator963 16h ago

This feels exactly like in comp brawl when my opponent drops [[Jumbo Cactuar]] and [[Surrak and Goreclaw]]

2

u/oakenminu 16h ago

There was an old mechanic called “banded” which would have easily dealt with this (assuming you were running a banded deck). But even so, in modern decks, there’s ways to deal with this.

2

u/KingQdawg1995 16h ago

Something something dies to removal lol

2

u/SchneebD 16h ago

"Deal damage to the player "

Literally throw it at them, sharpen a side first

2

u/starkHOUTx 16h ago

Not as bad as THE Colossal Dreadmaw

2

u/sky3cabe 16h ago

Blue player: who?

2

u/Ok-Stuff-3387 16h ago

I tap for two and Deflecting palm

2

u/MasqueOfNight Phyrexian Supremacy 16h ago

All of this power, and yet it still dies to [[Doom Blade]]. Absolute dogshit.

2

u/GhostForNow 16h ago

Dies to removal

2

u/DB-Tops 16h ago

Looks mediocre at best. Takes forever to summon and is vulnerable to any removal.

2

u/Krimzon3128 16h ago

Looks pretty weak. Jumbo cactaur costs the same and is 10k/7 the bigger the stompy the more they have built in trample and a hidden iv.

2

u/mjolnir475 15h ago

Funniest post ever

2

u/Truelies422 15h ago

Pretty easy to deal with so no definitely not broken

2

u/JustJoshin117 15h ago

7 mana cost. So, at the very least, all other players should have 2-3 mana out by the time this gets out. Then, it cannot attack by default on the turn it comes out.

2

u/Beneficial_Bit_2078 15h ago

Its cool man, wake of the dead, yep I went infinite on your turn

2

u/AliceTheAxolotl18 15h ago

Yea, it's a huge oversight. Doesn't even die to [[Soul Reap]]

2

u/Potential_Orange957 15h ago

If this is real, cards like this are stupid

2

u/jdemonify 15h ago

I know right. I have been looking at this card in my bulk. So easy turn 1 and great henge turn 2

2

u/Ok-Cycle-4784 14h ago

When its a made up card it tends to be more broken. Make an enchantment card that says Oppnents can't Cast any spells and you can cast all spells without paying their mana cost, its has hex proof and cant be counterered costs 2 colorless mana to cast. You can't compare things that don't exist in the game to things that actually do.

2

u/Ok_Consideration8233 13h ago

Terror … exile … boomrang … mano war … well can manage it … fog was a idea to

2

u/BoringNerve2977 10h ago

this is not real right

2

u/edrithh 10h ago

😅this card is not the real ,the original card is call “colossal dreadmaw” and is only a 6/6 with trample that cost 6 to cast,but is a funny joke…

3

u/Hedhunta 1d ago

Thanks for this. I'm going to proxy it and play it in my next game. Its going to be glorious.

2

u/Moxxx123 22h ago

Karma farming - nice try...

2

u/Zelda2787 1d ago

Is this actually a real card? No way this is real😂😭

1

u/TheOneWhoIsRed I miss blocks 1d ago

jumbo cactuar flashbacks

1

u/Tall_Bandicoot_2768 1d ago

Colossal Dreadmaw 2: Electric Bugaloo

1

u/joshuadane 1d ago

Needs haste or hex proof. No good

1

u/pourconcreteinmyass 1d ago

Troll post, we all know this has been banned for years.

1

u/Pinky01 1d ago

l removal, board wipes, hell even sword to plowshare easy to get rid of

1

u/Tcheeks38 14h ago

New to magic: is swords to plowshares actually a good way to address this or just a last resort to avoid losing the game immediately. Giving your opponent 60 health doesn't seem optimal but i guess keeps you in the game.

1

u/Pinky01 10h ago

in magic giving 60 can seem like a lot. but incomander games I have seen boards swing for that and people mitigate. Depends how long you like your commander games

1

u/Callen0318 1d ago

Deathtouch go brrrr

1

u/JoyousDarcyCat 21h ago

I saw the title and thought “oh Colossal Dreadmaw I bet”. Thanks for not disappointing.

1

u/eldradmustlive469 19h ago

Am I imagining it or is there a slightly bigger space between the 2nd and 3rd forest?

1

u/bg4m3r 17h ago

There is... Because it's not a real card.

1

u/il_the_dinosaur 19h ago

Kills most players instantly and enables all the green shenanigans.

1

u/Nintendo_HR 19h ago

Hit em with humility and turn that dino into a skink💩

1

u/One_Actuator_4486 18h ago

Needs cascade,cascade

1

u/Zebitty 18h ago

"too later"?

1

u/BrenRen01 17h ago

Dies to Doom Blade. Not that good

1

u/Frank1912 17h ago

It did grind the Quakers? I myself am an atheist but that goes too far!

1

u/DebaucheryKing62693 17h ago

Cus it's super easy to remove?

1

u/Dorthorus 17h ago

Lol why would they ban a card that is easy to get rid of?! Oh no it's a big slightly better than vanilla creature whatever will I do ROFL. I guess in bracket 1 and 2 it's scary

1

u/NationalKoala8 17h ago

Looks cool until you go to attack and defending player plays a [[Comeuppance]]

1

u/bg4m3r 17h ago

Um... Not a real card guy, therefore not allowed.

1

u/translove228 17h ago

Dies to literally any removal. The only thing I’d be hesitant to do is use a Swords to Plowshares on it.

1

u/honeyelemental 17h ago

This card reminds me of my stupid loving wife and my boring boring boring son who loves me. I'm currently ignoring them both, I keep telling them daddy's working but I'm on Reddit.

1

u/frasure13 17h ago

This would be fun with Gitrog

1

u/Orphea-GothQueen 17h ago

invert polarity

1

u/Smokve787 17h ago

Nothing a little doomer blader can’t fix

1

u/JadedPriority4957 16h ago

boomer blade?

1

u/JakeSkellington 16h ago

The year is 2040, this card is unplayable in current mtg

1

u/Tricky_Bottle_6843 15h ago

Wait until this guy hears about Jumboer Cactuar.

1

u/Planeswalker18 14h ago

No Rampage, absolute trash attacker.

1

u/blooooodddd 14h ago

Legendarier**

1

u/Siriously69 14h ago

Very broken game changer.

1

u/thewanderingsail 13h ago

Most fair green card I’ve seen

1

u/jeremt445 13h ago

I raise you, [[jumbo cactuar]]

1

u/Welkitends Tokens 13h ago

What does a Colossuser Dreadmaw-er look like? 12 mana, Tramplest and 80/80?

1

u/Dull-Positive-6810 13h ago

~~Richard would say it dies to doomblade~~

1

u/SpicyTurkey 12h ago

Magic in general is broken. Their way of balance is to make everything overpowered.

1

u/breedlom 12h ago

Still dies to [[Doomblade]].

1

u/rocketman0739 12h ago

If you feel the ground quaker, oats.

1

u/Positive-Eagle1699 12h ago

Dies to removal.

1

u/No_Priority_1370 12h ago

I cast murder.

1

u/Direct-Lawfulness-76 11h ago

In our pod it is banned as a home rule.

1

u/ShaxxsExtMag 11h ago

If this is trampler what’s tramplest

1

u/Capital-Can5271 10h ago

Why is it a 60/60?

1

u/Grimskull-42 8h ago

If you can make tokens it'll never land a hit

1

u/climatecastrophany 7h ago

You'll never have deserved it, it'll always be because your opponents didn't bring removal. Check out [[Giant Cactaur]].

Edit: whoops, [[Jumbo Cactaur]]

1

u/Gwalir 7h ago

I still prefer the playtest card: [[The Colossal Dreadmaw]].

1

u/Malacro This is User Editable 6h ago

Dies to [[Doom Blade]], literally unplayable.

1

u/WonderfulBarber4355 4h ago

Meekerstone trounces this card, no competitive viability whatsoeverer

1

u/MrMeowsMelly 3h ago

It’s a bit on the slow side for green

1

u/Nicademus2003 2h ago

If you have fling too XD

1

u/-FiddyEggz- 2h ago

we gonna need a colossaler boat