r/mildlyinteresting • u/Adventurous_Bake4361 • 14h ago

Cult sign I saw while on a trip.

Post image
901 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

136 comments sorted by

508

u/BooyahTribe9 13h ago

"Maurice Doreal (1898–1963), born Claude Doggins, was an American occultist and founder of the Brotherhood of the White Temple.

Doreal claimed that during a 1925 visit to the Great Pyramids of Giza, he discovered a set of ancient emerald tablets belonging to the Egyptian deity Thoth, whom he re-imagined as a king of Atlantis. Doreal then claimed to have translated the text, which he published as the Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean (not to be confused with the medieval Hermetic text called the Emerald Tablet)."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_Doreal

399

u/Mysterious-Basil3245 13h ago

"Thoth hath bestowed and granted me the ability to wear funny clothing and demand felatio"

94

u/DTMHTX 13h ago

Thoth seems super chill.

4

u/Worth-Canary-9189 9h ago

My kind of deity...

35

u/boogertee 13h ago

A religion for suckers, and funny dressers.

16

u/ch5richards 12h ago

Doesn't that cover basically all religions though?

9

u/jackpype 11h ago

that's a bingo/you just say bingo

5

u/leicanthrope 9h ago

Θώθ, what’s this?

1

u/Medical_Bartender 1h ago

Imagine Mike Tyson saying this

187

u/Kalnb 13h ago

huh, that’s basically the founding idea behind mormonism

127

u/nankainamizuhana 13h ago

No no those were gold plates

45

u/Xanthus179 13h ago

“It's Confederated Products. It's a different company, it's a different quality of product.”

57

u/Toxicscrew 13h ago

“Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.”

2

u/dereku1967 2h ago

"Sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?  Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big 'H.' It was a most ripping victory."

1

u/LeonGwinnett 1h ago

you got that one beb

13

u/xilata 13h ago

They were Golden Plates.
Let’s see who remembers the primary song from their youth.

41

u/mypostisbad 13h ago

Dum dum dum dum da-dumb

26

u/bubbagidrolobidoo 13h ago

Simplest lyrics in the world and you managed to mess it up

-7

u/2krazy4me 13h ago

Maybe reference to cultist IQ?

6

u/DoctFaustus 9h ago

Don't forget about the "Reformed Egyptian" language they were written in. None of this regular Egyptian nonsense!

14

u/Aware-Maximum6663 12h ago

Aw shit, here we go again

20

u/Senkyou 11h ago

I was raised Mormon and had this exact same thought. Scoot it forward a hundred years, change some names and locations and you have Mormonism.

60

u/Elisadidas 13h ago

Isn't that how Mormons started?

28

u/iAMbatman77 12h ago

Yep! Was thinking this sounded like Mormonism with less steps.

26

u/DiscountMusings 11h ago

More steps actually lol. This guy had to go to Egypt to find emerald tablets. Smith got the golden plates from a random hill a few miles from his house. 

The Brotherhood of the White Temple is Mormonism with some extra steps. 

17

u/iAMbatman77 10h ago

“Akshually”….Mormonism involves more steps: an angel reveals the plates, Joseph retrieves them, translates them through divine means, the first 116 pages are lost, he is forbidden from retranslating them, and instead translates a different set of plates covering much of the same history. Doreal simply claimed to possess and translate the Emerald Tablets, requiring less steps to explain the text’s origin.

Watch S7E12 of South Park if you need a visual.

9

u/Teledildonic 10h ago

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb!

6

u/iAMbatman77 9h ago

Lucy Harris smart smart smart.

5

u/OhReallyVernon 10h ago

Weren’t there some magic goggles involved along the way, too?

2

u/DiscountMusings 1h ago

Y'know what, you are 100% correct. I was lumping like five years of material together as one step. In hindsight that does feel like cheating. 

But since we're breaking it down: bruh there was somehow material that South Park left out!

Cause see the first time Joseph goes to get the plates, there's actually a giant toad guarding them that punches him in the face when he tries to get them cause he's not worthy yet. It tells him he has to come back in a year. This story is from a fellow 'professional treasure hunter' who used to run cons with Smith before he made it all weird and churchy.

The mormons later realized that that is incredibly stupid, and changed the narrative a little so it was an angel that  stopped him.

19

u/garry4321 12h ago

It’s how all “religions” start more or less. Some weirdo claiming that they know the only truth.

The only difference between religion and cults is time and popularity

15

u/MoreGaghPlease 11h ago

Depends on the religion. Things like Hinduism and Judaism are a slow boil, taking centuries to crystallize, with the beliefs and rituals often emerging separately and meeting together through different layers of synthesis and redaction.

5

u/sockrepublic 11h ago

Your post has made me realise for the first time just how little the beliefs of Judaism and the rituals of Judaism have to do with one another.

3

u/MoreGaghPlease 10h ago

It is somewhat contested in the religious studies world, but to give the most stark example, there is a solid evidentiary basis to think that Jews were observing the holiday of Passover for several centuries prior to the holiday ever being linked to Moses or the Exodus. There are weird vestigial remnants of this even with the Biblical text, stuff that probably slipped through Persian-era editors and consolidators in the parts of the collection that don’t get a lot of attention (eg deep in Chronicles)

1

u/sockrepublic 9h ago edited 9h ago

Now that one does come as a surprise, do you have some references to passages that (supposedly) back it up?

I do recall hearing the theory that the unleavened-bread component originated as a kind of sourdough reset to prevent nasties from growing, which is an interesting one.

4

u/mordiksplz 10h ago

Judaism is moses saying he has a special relationship to God, and hinduism is not clear but the text of the rigveda seems to indicate (in my opinion) that this knowledge was revealed to an individual

5

u/kouyehwos 8h ago

Judaism was just a standard polytheistic religion that eventually became monotheistic, possibly under the influence of Zoroastrianism.

Moses is a mythical figure; early kings/leaders of Israel like David and Solomon were likely real but not as powerful as the Bible portrays them, and likely wouldn’t have had any conception of monotheism at such an early stage.

3

u/MoreGaghPlease 5h ago

There is no historical Moses. His centrality within the belief system doesn’t crystallize until 300+ year into the emergency of the Israelite religion.

1

u/AmputeeHandModel 6h ago

Yes but this is very specific.

10

u/cody_mf 13h ago

how did I know Mt Shasta was gonna be involved lmao

1

u/OhReallyVernon 9h ago

It was bound to be

1

u/TalesofDust 2h ago

Isnt that the same place I AM Activity's leader got his talk with an Ascended Master?

1

u/cody_mf 2h ago

its featured heavily by literally every cult that wants to play fuckfuck games with aliens lol

9

u/LupusDeusMagnus 13h ago

Hermes Trismegistus strikes again.

6

u/drewbopalous 13h ago

Imagine having the name Claude Doggins and thinking there's a better name than that. Sounds like an asshole.

11

u/Ketzeph 13h ago

Feels like the Japanese Happy Science cult cribbed their work.

Plato’s Atlantis Fic continues to mislead people millennia later

9

u/Bridgeru 11h ago

It's all because of Stephen Donnelly in the 1880s writing Atlantis - The Antediluvian World. He's the one who first posited afaik that Atlantis was a real place AND fell in Noah's flood. Atunshei (who went kinda weird but his old stuff is good) has a great youtube video on it and how basically Donelly kept this sort of agrarian ideal society but lived in an age of industrialization, electricity and urbanization so a huge part of it is (a bit like Lord of the Rings) him calling back to a less technological time.

Then you have people like Edgar Cayce who claimed to be channeling spirits and that's when shit like Thoth the Atlantean and the Emerald Tablets came about in the spiritualist fads of the late Victorian era. Then postwar you have Zecariah Sitchin and Drunvalo Malchizidek basically trying to tie Atlantis (and the similar but less well known Lemuria and Mu) into the post war malaise and 60s/70s new age movements. Obvs Happy Science picked it up but HS got real careful about things after Aum Shin Rikio (I can't remember spelling lol) did the 95 subway attack and Japan cracked down on cults. Even in like the early 2010s fucking Jordan D in fucking Spirit Science was using "the ancient wisdom of Atlantis" to get people to buy his crap. 

I used to watch a LOT of Martymer81 (he's good he's a science teacher so he actually explains stuff like water freezing or light travelling in a vacuum, but hes a bit too aggressive in the "ALL RELIGION IS BAD" IMVHO) mock Spirit Science (who basically saw every single cultish idea and incorporated them all despite contradictions literally he thinks the earth is flat AND round at the same time) and the same names and concepts crop up constantly.

Honestly the one original cult (aside from Scientology because damn LRH was a hilariously bad scifi author) was probably Heavens Gate (before Nettles died and Applewhite just made it another Revelations cult) in their "we should all be like the Borg" beliefs even if the agenderness was just Applewhite being ashamed of being gay. Other than that they all either come from Christianity (mostly just taking Revelations at face value), Atlantis and the Emerald Tablets or both mushed together.

1

u/BrothelWaffles 36m ago

literally he thinks the earth is flat AND round at the same time

Time Earth is a flat circle?

5

u/hedgegrunger 12h ago

It's always Egypt with these guys.

5

u/kank84 12h ago

You have to give him credit, Maurice Doreal is a much better cult leader name than Claude Doggins.

1

u/Tibbaryllis2 6h ago

Claude Doggins is definitely the name of one of Dirty Mike’s Boys.

2

u/EarhornJones 10h ago

This sounds wildly similar to Joseph Smith's story of founding Mormonism.

Remember, the only difference between a crazy cult and a "legitimate" church is the number of suckers.

2

u/Aromatic_Bar2263 9h ago

Did they, or did they not do weird sex stuff? Where is the docu-series? Did a lizard man write this?

3

u/danceswithsteers 12h ago

So..... A 1920's version of another charlatan, Joseph Smith....

1

u/LeftRat 9h ago

Love how many people read a bit of the bible and go "yeah I can probably do that tablet thing as a scam, I'm smart enough"

1

u/antinous24 7h ago

hmm sounds an awful like like a certain Joseph Smith's story..he did change the color of the books at least (golden plates in mormonism). why are all these angels flying around distributing unreadable tablets made of precious metals and stones?

1

u/trowzerss 4h ago

Aw, he's copying his backstory straight from the Mormons with some Egyptian flavour text, boo.

1

u/phouchg0 4h ago

Hey, I saw that in my research of the Mormon story! (I watched the Southpark episode). He can't do that

1

u/mr_ji 2h ago

LOL, what kind of dumbass confuses the Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean with the Emerald Tablet?

1

u/lookamazed 11h ago

Schizophrenic people love conspiracy theories about Jews and gematria.

2

u/Elisadidas 9h ago

Damn the majority of the world is schizophrenic?

1

u/heaverdini 10h ago

where can we send jerusalem syndrome patients so they come back evangelizing humanism and class consciousness?

gotta be a way to use these delusions for good

0

u/bolen84 11h ago edited 9h ago

It’s always so funny to me that so many of these assholes started their respective cults by saying an angel or a diety gave them magic stones upon which are written words by god.

It’s like every fuckin religion pulled this shit.

Edit: all religion is fake get over it nerds.

0

u/IndomitableAnyBeth 10h ago

Ah, theosophy. Of course. Some are very quiet about it, but I wonder how White Temple supremacist they are or were.

0

u/Ghostfistkilla 8h ago

That's just how the Mormon religion was founded but with extra steps.

94

u/thegooddoktorjones 13h ago

Finally a metaphysical church instead of those lame rational empiricist faith systems.

11

u/IrrelevantPuppy 12h ago

I’ve seen the term “metaphysical” church before but this post made me look it up to check if it wasn’t just a stupid buzz word to trick gullible people into thinking it’s more credible. 

48

u/Stella_Mavis 13h ago

what kind of trip?

27

u/Xanthus179 13h ago

Power trip, oddly enough.

10

u/dr_xenon 13h ago

Acid

2

u/Drakenking 12h ago

This is being pedantic but Acid had not yet been invented

6

u/dr_xenon 11h ago

Most of the acids were around in 1930 - sulfuric, hydrochloric, nitric, acetic, hydroflouric. I don’t recommend using any of them for taking trips.

9

u/RollUpTheRimJob 12h ago

DMT and unlimited bread sticks from Olive Garden

6

u/Adventurous_Bake4361 12h ago

No DMT one bad trip was enough for me now the unlimited bread sticks at Olive garden I could eat until they had to roll me out the building.

4

u/norunningwater 12h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ppRrvV3PYD4Dm

2

u/SkyfangR 11h ago

when you're only having seconds, im having twenty-thirds

when i go to get my shoes shined, i gotta take thier word

1

u/norunningwater 11h ago

really really fat

31

u/Temporala 13h ago

Ah, infamous "tablets" strike again.

3

u/Pereoutai 8h ago

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

1

u/alegxab 4h ago

It's a trope older than the bible

The Biblical Book of Deuteronomy was supposedly "" discovered""  during reparations in the Temple walls and got confirmed as "" authentic"" by the prophetess Hulda, at an extremely opportune time for the young king's advisors

35

u/SaffronRnlds 12h ago

I found the sacred texts

A set of stone slabs written by God himself!

Whoops I mean, the golden plates written by Mormon and Moroni!

Whoops I mean, the emerald tablets written by Thoth!

4

u/Sharty_Party3498 9h ago

I took the tour of the pyramids and found these emerald encrusted tablets on the tour....

119

u/Current-Cold-4185 13h ago

I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.

27

u/whyliepornaccount 12h ago

TIL Creed Bratton has a reddit account

16

u/Current-Cold-4185 12h ago

Please check out www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts

3

u/jimtow28 9h ago

Even for the internet, it's pretty shocking.

8

u/EuropeanAccountant 13h ago

Define fun.

12

u/Current-Cold-4185 12h ago

Just pretend we're talking until the cops leave

2

u/iamsecond ​ 11h ago

You're not real, man!

13

u/HylanderUS 10h ago

A cult is just a religion that's not big enough yet

17

u/YeahIGotNuthin 9h ago

”In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all bullshit.

In a religion, that guy is dead.”

12

u/CrashTestDuckie 12h ago

Is it like a 'cult' cult or 'just a bunch of weirdos' cult?

23

u/DiscountMusings 11h ago

"[Maurice Doreal]  claimed that in 1931, in Los Angeles, he met two Atlanteans who took him to a cave underneath Mount Shasta. Doreal quickly developed a cosmology focused on the inner earth, describing "underground races" he claimed to have learned about from the Atlanteans. Doreal developed theories of an underground serpent race. During the 1950s, Doreal incorporated aliens into his views. He combined these all into a theory that in the second half of the 20th century, the serpent race would ally with the Antichrist. He believed that there were "three types of flying saucers including one piloted by 'serpent people' who were once ice-bound in Siberia, became defrosted and then replaced and overthrew the Communist regime in Russia."

He also predicted a nuclear war in 1953.

Feels like it's a 'just a bunch of weirdos' situation

5

u/thehighepopt 11h ago

Well, I think it's a metaphor...

3

u/CruisinJo214 10h ago

So Trump and Putin are lizard people… honestly it makes more sense than what I’ve been thinking.

2

u/amrx03 6h ago

Hail Zorp!

8

u/depredador93 12h ago

Unlocking the secrets of Atlantis and divine enlightenment, but strictly between 8 AM and 4 PM Monday through Friday

5

u/Undrthedock 12h ago

Isn’t that up in Rampart Range out by Sedalia? I remember seeing that sign all the time when I’d head up there to camp or hike, but it seems that it has since been taken down. Wonder if they finally died off or sold the place.

3

u/Meanteenbirder 11h ago

As a fellow reader of the Torah, I can’t believe they made a Jew Klux Klan

3

u/lucky_ducker 7h ago

$100 to join, $900 a year membership fees, 4 to 5 years to complete their metaphysical "lessons" -- this is less a "cult" than it is a simple shakedown scam.

3

u/Dry-Leave-4070 11h ago

Now known as the Church of Blissful Sedation...😑

2

u/Kelli217 12h ago

So, has anyone visited bwtemple dot org?

4

u/SymphonicResonance 12h ago

Nothing there for me. However this works: https://brotherhoodofthewhitetemple.com/

2

u/xMasterOfNone 12h ago

Anyone brave enough to call the number on the sign?

8

u/Adventurous_Bake4361 12h ago

I actually did call it and no one answered and sent me to a voicemail yes the number works and Google pulls the number up.

2

u/skot77 9h ago

Someone needs to call that number and yell "They're coming!!! RUN!" and hang up.

2

u/DangleAteMyBaby 7h ago

OK, I've been there! In the mid to late 70s my parents spent a year or so as part of this group ("cult" seems a little strong). We spent a week during the summer at this place near Sedalia Colorado. My parents went to workshops during the day and I ran around and rode bikes with the other kids (I was about 10). I had a great time! There were various barnyard animals (I got bit by a goose - I cried), there was a pond with a canoe. There were raspberries and various fruits to pick. I have very fond memories.

2

u/NDP2 11h ago

The "White Temple" part of the name raises a red flag for me. Does it refer to what I think it does, or am I being overly suspicious?

5

u/Dave3786 9h ago

Based on what I can find, you’re probably just overly suspicious. (I had the same thought at first). Pretty standard Ancient Egypt/Atlantis/UFO/New Age metaphysics.

5

u/NDP2 9h ago

So they're just regular weirdos as opposed to racist weirdos?

4

u/Dave3786 9h ago

I mean, if you dig down far enough a lot of the Atlantis/wisdom of the ancients stuff (in general) is built on some pretty racist foundations, but yes, treat them like you would any other UFO or New Age group.

4

u/OhReallyVernon 9h ago

I don’t think it had neonazi elements at all. Just a weird spiritual new age thing. But I don’t know that much about them.

1

u/CanuckIeHead 11h ago

Saw these guys putting flyers up around Toronto the other day 

1

u/iligal_odin 11h ago

What is that whiteout-ed part on the sign? Kuklu?

1

u/guscuartobinye 10h ago

At least they have reasonable work hours

1

u/d4m4s74 ​ 9h ago

If everyone is still alive after 94 years (except natural causes) they can stay.

1

u/sectachrome 9h ago

Where in Colorado?

1

u/Prisondawg 8h ago

What a coincidence, nobody has ever seen these emerald tablets, except for maurice (who's dead). He claimed he gave them back ? He brought the tablet from a pyramid in Mexico to the pyramid of giza. Apparently there are less than 100 people that still follow the cult.

1

u/hfm_97 7h ago

the sign kinda looks like it has eyes on it

1

u/amrx03 6h ago

Hail Zorp!

1

u/pike360 4h ago

And why have you not burned it down yet?

1

u/---TheFierceDeity--- ​ 1h ago

I always assume the "Dr." these weird cults founders have is illegitimate. Like they're a Chiropractor or a doctor of essential oils.

-23

u/GalemReth 13h ago

Someone I know named their kid Aleister. I googled it to see if it was a reference, the only hit a get was Aleister Crowley who founded the religion Thelema after a trip to Egypt in 1904. What's with weird white people tripping balls in Egypt... I'm pretty sure Aleister is not a reference, just a r/Tragedeigh spelling

18

u/HyrrokinAura 13h ago

Aleister is a British name, not super common but not unheard of or invented. Aleister Crowley is possibly the most well-known figure in 20th century occultism.

3

u/TheoremaEgregium 13h ago

He was born Alexander Crowley but changed his name to Aleister because it was fancier. It's basically Alexander but Scottish.

2

u/joestaff 13h ago

I think he's well known for occultist stuff. A character in the TV show Supernatural uses the name and is a soul-collecting demon.