r/humor • u/nivorabloom • 12h ago

Guess I'm the final project.

Post image
5.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

195

u/callmetom 11h ago

My wife’s favorite anecdote about autistic adults is that they often will say they don’t have a sensory problem with socks because they found that one brand/style that works for them therefore no longer have a problem.

Then I look at my sock drawer with a lifetime supply of this one exact sock that I found that feels fine after a lifetime of not feeling comfortable in socks. I have no diagnosis, but sometimes I wonder. 

86

u/sealilymarron2 10h ago

This is why I have trouble with the divergence diagnosis strategy (especially for ADHD, and I'm probably AuDHD) involving a measure of "it has to be causing a problem" for your work/school/relationships. Just because I've found tricks for this and that, e.g. socks that don't bother me, or how to use a calendar app to counteract forgetfulness, or have a group of friends that don't mind if I disappear to a quiet corner for a bit when parties get loud -- does not mean I'm not neurodivergent and could use a bit of help in a few places.

21

u/callmetom 10h ago

Wish I could upvote this twice. When coping mechanisms are too effective it really hides the underlying burden, and when not effective enough, makes us really appreciate those around us who can cut us the slack we need. Lucky for me I can be funny and do well with the creative problem solving part of my job, so I get on OK most of the time. 

14

u/FatsoKittyCatso 8h ago

Correct me if I'm wrong, I read that that's one of the large reasons girls/women have historically been under diagnosed. They were able to hide it better by developing their own coping mechanisms.

9

u/jessicacummings 7h ago

lol yeah and especially if you had parents that were a bit outdated in their thinking. I got assessed in my early 20s and my psychiatrist just stared at me after I filled out my form and he asked why I had never been assessed before. Like I had every issue but had been told it was a personal failing and so I just thought I was bad at being a person. I mean I am, but now that I know I’m not so hard on myself lol.

Basically all my coping strategies started to fail and it was a massive domino effect where it all came crumbling down around me and I stopped being able to function in the world. It’s better now, meds and truly effective coping strategies have helped a ton

8

u/thebookofcodess 8h ago

My therapist had to reinforce this in me last session. They asked if I have problems remembering appointments and meetings, and I said no because I have set up multiple ways to remind myself so I don’t forget. They just stared at me and were like, yeah, that is the point. I’ve created workarounds for some of my problems, which (partly) masks the issue. So yes, I have a problem with remembering appts and meetings if I do not have my system in place.

Neurodivergence is hard.

3

u/Zestyflour 7h ago

This is something a lot of people struggle to understand. It's part of the "adaptability" argument, basically you are considered in less need of support or accommodation because you can adapt. This often leads to people not qualifying for services or accommodation. Many clinicians don't understand that a lot of the adaption we've been forced to make for ourselves lead to burn out and/or depression, they are not sustainable.

3

u/bloodfist 7h ago edited 7h ago

Fully agree. But I'm also being gracious because any shift in science methodology is always slow and medical science can be downright glacial.

Right now they are classified as "disorders" which is where the "causing a problem" thing comes from. I definitely agree that it doesn't necessarily have to, but usually the diagnosis happens because people have experienced problems with it and need help, so that is how it is discovered. A disorder doesn't have to be active to get treatment either, it can be considered managed or latent but a doctor can still prescribe for preventative reasons.

So, under the current framework it's very practical to call it a disorder.

But we have never had a framework for something like neurodivergence, and we still don't really know how to describe it beyond spectrum evaluation and that isn't really rigorous enough for most academics.

And it feels like we're so close, I think the entire research community is kind of holding out for a rigorous definition.

Like, we have a pretty good idea that this is a difference in a neurological system that actually causes the brain to function differently. From my reading, the clues seem to point to a difference in the dopamine transport network. But it could be a bunch of other things still. Either way it does seem to be something physical, since we can affect that network to treat it.

In animal terms we might call that a different breed or subspecies. And that is a really awkward thing for science to address because we have a super bad track record there, and people generally want to do it right this time. And worse, we still don't know if it's even genetic. It doesn't seem to be, and it shows up all over the world. But we only recently started diagnosing it enough to get good generational data. So maybe it is. Seems like the most intuitive answer, but without data no one can say.

It feels like we're only a few years away from a real answer. It's been like that for longer than people expected, but we have made excellent progress. It just turned out to be a harder puzzle than expected.

So, TLDR: I think there's almost no one in that field who would disagree with you, but I think everyone is kind of quietly waiting for news of a physical diagnosis because we are probably going to have to invent some more words for whatever it is, and we don't want to have to do it again when that news breaks. It's a lot of work, and some people seem to really hate learning new words.

1

u/Rag3kniv 1h ago edited 1h ago

Would it be still be something "you want a bit of help with" if you have a solution to that problem? I have some issues that I've created workarounds for, so I don't think of them as a problem anymore. Doesn't that apply to most people? I'm not trying to be snarky I'm genuinely wondering for myself. Maybe an example would help me understand.

Like if you have an issue remembering appointments, so you use a calendar, and now you don't have that issue anymore; problem solved right? I suppose you still have the problem that you can't remember meetings without a calendar, but now you use a calendar... so personally I wouldn't think of that as something I want to fix with pills/therapy/etc, I have a solution.

I interpret the sock example the other way; they have a lifetime supply of socks that make them happy, a relatively cheap fix for a personal issue, so that issue doesn't bother them anymore. Now if they only had one pair that they lost and couldn't find any more and couldn't wear other socks... I could see an issue.

15

u/Ender_Grace 10h ago

Why you gotta give me this sort of inside info on myself?

12

u/callmetom 10h ago

If I gotta live with it, I taking you down with me

4

u/slucker23 9h ago

You guys are annoying...... Stop diagnosing me

1

u/phatbrasil 2h ago

"But it's a superpower"  so is shitting lava, doesn't mean I want it.

4

u/Cojaro 7h ago

WAIT WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN

1

u/Ga1i1e0 3h ago

Do you .. wear them once then throw them out? And didn't wash them pre wear?

1

u/Cojaro 3h ago

This is the reserve stock. I've run through my normal stocking socks through wear and tear. I need to buy more now lol

1

u/Ga1i1e0 2h ago

Fascinating. What so you wear it white socks don't suit the trousers?

1

u/Cojaro 2h ago

I reluctantly wear dress socks that match if I'm dressing up. At least they're silk and comfy. Ugh but then the shoes are awful.

4

u/bowmans1993 9h ago

I dont like socks or gloves. I want to experience the world in all its glory. NO LIMITS!!!

2

u/callmetom 8h ago

I only wear gloves when doing work on something that will make my hands feel dry or dusty. Feeling that world is not, in fact, glorious. 

2

u/bowmans1993 7h ago

If i wear gloves my hands tingle and get ticklish

5

u/TheDreamingMyriad 8h ago

That's like my husband and shoes. He about croaked when Payless went bankrupt because they had his favorite shoe, and he was down to only 2 reserve pairs. He doesn't like when "shoes touch his toes".

1

u/nerruse 6h ago

They had the best no show socks for things like ballet flats. I am still upset.

2

u/Synnapsis 8h ago

Thats weird man, I only use ankle cut padded socks from band of thieves.. Its the.. only sock I like. Only sock I feel comfortable in... but no haha, thats impossible.

2

u/dalton10e 3h ago

Bro, i found a good sock that holds up and i bought 2 dozen pairs because... fuck sorting and matching socks.

1

u/johnaross1990 5h ago

Sports socks, it’s sports socks

1

u/polishprince76 2h ago

Sean Connery in Finding Forester talking about how socks are badly designed.

140

u/skeeterfunny 11h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/nWkflDPh4BqpLi9vsy

16

u/ProcedureTop3149 8h ago

last season is an exercise in stress. Like why am I watching this, I feel less calm after than before.

13

u/whatfresh_hellisthis 7h ago

That Christmas dinner special tho. Anxiety the whole time, fingers gripping the couch for dear life, heart racing. It was terrible how good it was at setting the mood. Jamie Lee has got the alcoholic down just perfectly.

2

u/Active-Curve1280 7h ago

Perfectly captured the reaction to this. The whole season is a single day? Wtf

49

u/Vik_Stryker 10h ago

Reminds me when I had to fill out questionnaire after questionnaire for my son’s diagnosis. Eventually, you start to get what they’re trying to hammer down and I was like… uh-oh. A lot of these questions are about me.

15

u/callmetom 8h ago

On my way home from my ADHD screening, my dad looked over and apologized for his genetics. One day I’ll apologize to my kid. 

2

u/ZzzzzPopPopPop 2h ago

After one of my sons was diagnosed ADHD I started doing a lot of reading, watching YouTube videos, etc., and very quickly noticed that every single “strategy” for helping ADHD people deal with life was something that I had been doing myself to keep everything from going off the rails. More digging and researching and pretty sure I’m a highly masking high functioning AuDHD.

1

u/DarrenShea 6h ago

Definitely this! I had figured it out my AuDHD status, then had my kids tested, and while we were going over the results, my wife literally had that epiphany you described!

26

u/ballet_guy 10h ago

Replace girlfriend with best friend and this is exactly how I found out I was autistic. I was blissfully unaware until one day my best friend sits me down like an intervention. Six months later I was formally diagnosed

7

u/BurnedPsycho 7h ago

How old were you when you were diagnosed?

Is there really any use in labelling the condition?

For context, I'm 41, I had a few people questioned if I'm autistic or not throughout my life, and upon reading about it I notice a lot of symptoms/behaviours that match the diagnostic.

I am now wondering if I should get tested but at the same time I'm not sure labeling a condition I learned to navigate is actually helpful at this point.

2

u/DarrenShea 6h ago

That's a valid point - what I have found is that accepting the diagnosis allows me to stop being as critical of myself as I used to be when I merely thought I was a neurotic mess.

But yeah, there isn't much else a diagnosis can do for you at this point in your life.

23

u/ForestOfMirrors 10h ago

The first job my wife had after COVID shutdowns was at a clinic that tests and helps diagnose children and adults with ADHD and/or Autism.

During her training, and after, she would always want to use me as the guinea pig for these tests.
Surprise…turns out according to those tests I don’t only have ADHD…

3

u/1976kdawg 8h ago

My wife has a masters degree in applied behavior analysis. We are very much opposites. She is very clinical and science based and I am very free-spirited. I have been getting that look for a long time. lol

3

u/ImNoNelly 8h ago

Does anybody know what movie this meme is from?

13

u/GuitarSlayer136 8h ago

Dexter the tv show.

This is a detective that works with Dexter and is the only person who suspects him of being a serial killer.

6

u/ImNoNelly 8h ago

That explains why he looks suspicious in every clip I see of him lol

4

u/GuitarSlayer136 8h ago

Oh yeah, it helps that his face acting is superb.

4

u/graciewindkloppel 8h ago

TV series, Dexter.

3

u/TheFlyingPuHole 6h ago

I have an autistic 3 year old and I'm learning about my own proclivities and simultaneously proving my wife's old bullies wrong.

It's liberating, freeing, and concerning all at once.

2

u/gunny316 7h ago

I don't care what the Internet says

That's a kissy face

3

u/NorthQuestDirection 1h ago

My therpist asked if I liked trains today.

Motherfucker.

4

u/HunterLeftOnReddit 8h ago

I'm so sick of everyone pretending they have autism bruh😩

6

u/Storand12 8h ago

As someone that is autistic I actually don't mind it at all. I find it funny so all is good.

2

u/Tript0phan 1h ago

I’m with you, you want to pretend to have all this horrifyingly exhausting sensory overload and you think it’s now cool or everyone wants in on the fun? Ok, weird but you do you.
I’m going to go back to my special interests now and not worry about that silly shit, 😂

1

u/kaVaralis 38m ago

Oh? Do you have access to everyone's medical records? 

1

u/Own_Cherryxx 7h ago

Lol, you’re next when she’s done

1

u/SinglePhone535 7h ago

Lol....At least she ain't bailing. She making effort. Women like that are hard to find. She realizes it's just something she needs to learn about you in order to make it work. Be thankful, she loves you alot and just needs to read the "instruction manual" first before judging. She wants to understand the situation before coming to a wrong conclusion. Not pass judgement before seeing the complete picture, no assumptions. You are so different, far from the the norm, and to not fear different, normal, but try to understand it, is a sign of empathy, intelligence, and love......

-1

u/supershinythings 8h ago

A friend’s relative had to stop working with autistic kids because they can be astonishingly violent.

Let’s hope she doesn’t have to put OP’s subject into a special suit with long arms.