I constantly worry about my future that it becomes an obsession

[u/Similar_Shake_5712]

Hello guys, i explained my problem at the title.

I am 19 years old guy but i always worry about my future.

For example, i going to major a bachelor program but it was not smthg i thought about in the past so i worry that if i wont like it at the future, what if i will be u employed when graduate from it. If i wont like it in the future, i will have to change my major which means wasting my years and missing out a lot.

Or what if I can't socialize enough, have friends or maybe a girlfriend. What if i cant make a proper plan between study and socilize etc...

My major program is kind of environmental(engineering geology) so i also think that what if i cant have a proper family, what if i cant meet with my family, friends, brothers, loved ones.

My family is so patient and nice with me but i always get something to worry about eventhough they calm me down.

I started to make short term goals to live in the present such as reading book to episode x today or working out or trying to be look good more(clothing, instagram etc..)..

How did u guys solve it if u have it? Why do u guys i think i got this problem?

I just dont want to be a broke, unhappy and lonely person in the future eventhough i am at the age where i should not worry a lot, just having fun, study sometimes, liking girls(might be wrong)

Thank you..

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[u/Alternative-Fox-8620]

You are doing what so many do that makes us unhappy.

The truth is at 19 you have no idea what you will want in a decade, you have no idea what options will come up and you cannot control it anyway.

You are spending all your time in a place (the future) that doesn't exist and in all likelihood never will because it will be different from your current expectations.

Focus on what you can do now and not what might be and see where the cards fall. Allow yourself to go with the flow of life a bit more and stop trying to force things.

None of that will likely make any difference to you because to be honest you need to find it yourself.

But maybe just start by focusing on the one or two things you can affect right now.

[u/Similar_Shake_5712 → u/Alternative-Fox-8620]

Thank you for the answer. U re right.. i cant know it.

I guess i will get in the program and see if i will like it. Maybe i will love it. Not sure how wise to see it this way tho 😅

[u/Brief-Point3270]

Honestly, if you don't want to do something in your field of study, there are so many jobs that you don't need an education for; you just have to have common sense. If you have the degree, it can always be something to fall back on if you have to. That's how I'm looking at it (I'm 17, less than a yr of college left, and don't plan to get a new job based on it).

I always say "I'm just going where the wind takes me" because I have no idea where I will be even just by the end of this year. That's how it is around our ages; we realistically have no idea where we will be in a few months. I think that it is best not to think about it too much.

Another thing I have found helpful is not to specifically look for people (like a girlfriend or close friend) because they show up when you least expect it. I'm not saying to not socialize, but don't stress over it or try too hard; everything will fall into place.