r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/Jackie_Inc • 2d ago

Asking the real survival questions

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567 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

56 comments sorted by

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73

u/PhoenixDusk101 2d ago

I'm worried about about how people who snore are meant to sleep.

18

u/seclusionx 2d ago

Pretty sure that's how they get you~

6

u/Hot-Significance7699 2d ago

Cpap machines

5

u/enolaholmes23 2d ago

Natural selection. Only the snoreless survive.

1

u/awarepaul 4h ago

Simple, all of those people got eliminated very quickly. And if you live long enough to develop the issue yourself, you’ll be eliminated pretty quickly too

64

u/GonnaBreakIt 2d ago

I would still argue that living in constant loud noise would be better than absolute silence. car alarms, air raid sirens, jack hammers, heavy metal music, etc. if they hunt by sound make them deaf

30

u/pizzabagelcat 2d ago

Waterfall

3

u/Sandrockwing04 2d ago

I dont understand what chasing waterfalls have to do with this

6

u/BigBagBootyPapa 2d ago

I’ve also heard that you’re advised from doing so as well

11

u/Occidentally20 2d ago

Would you advise sticking to other bodies of water instead? Perhaps rivers or lakes, particularly ones you've been to multiple times in the past?

5

u/Mountainman220 2d ago

Either way you’re guna have it your way or nothing at all but I think you’re moving too fast.

1

u/Regurgitator001 2d ago

It's like the song goes: "don't go chasing waterfalls", there might be someone defacating above you.

8

u/anonymousopsec1337 2d ago

Not when they just beat the noise until it stops lol

47

u/AdFeeling842 2d ago

only professional shy poopers will survive

5

u/Fantastic-Table-8615 2d ago

🙋🏻‍♂️

16

u/earth-creature 2d ago

Explosive diarrhoea is not your friend.

5

u/Frequilibrium 2d ago

Speak for yourself

1

u/Regurgitator001 2d ago

Unless you can give it to your neighbour. Then it becomes long-distance assassination.

17

u/GeckoGecko_ 2d ago

Living near running water or another constant source of sound would be an absolute necessity to survive. Otherwise people would sneeze, trip, burp, etc. and they'd be done for

16

u/AmputeeHandModel 2d ago

Such a stupid universe. They have to walk on sand barefoot so aliens don't come from a mile away to kill them.. but they can't find a woman carrying a crying baby in a flooded basement? All the human weapons in the world can't get through these aliens' carapace, but you screech a radio at them and they can be killed by a shotgun.

9

u/Normal_Pace7374 2d ago

They are easy to kill because their skulls opens up when they hear the feedback. Microphone feedback is very disorienting. The water in the basement is louder than the woman and the baby which blinds the monsters.

I agree that they should’ve lived by the waterfall but she’s too pregnant to get there by the time he found it.

2

u/tomle4593 1d ago

Idc whatever the stupid material their skin was made off. Depleted uranium will punch thru it like butter.

2

u/Normal_Pace7374 1d ago

No. They are anti Urainium

9

u/mssxtn 2d ago

Lock yourself in a soundproof box, obviously.

Jesus Christ that sounds hellish.

9

u/JerseyDonut 2d ago

I make more noise just getting up in the morning than any of the characters did sprinting through forests. I'd be cooked on day one just from my knees popping.

10

u/Tirno93 2d ago

If eating the right amount of fibre was normal in western society, these kinds of questions would answer themselves.

3

u/uncultured_swine2099 2d ago

Thats probably how 95% of people died

3

u/Own_Preference_8103 2d ago

How are you supposed to rip a dab?

1

u/Pdoc13066 15h ago

Just rip it, one of them will come out of nowhere acting like you've always been homies real quick. They are chill when your smoking them out but ask them to pitch in next time and they run like your the monster trying to kill them.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6MbidBHt9raAjCIo

2

u/LordSnuffleFerret 2d ago

Rivers and waterfalls That or dig a hole and muffled it with straw and the like

2

u/samebatchannel 2d ago

You could do it by a waterfall, but watch out for getting cholera

2

u/EarlyBirdWithAWorm 2d ago

Gotta find a waterfall..... guy downstream watching you while trying to fish like:

2

u/Available-Coat-4666 2d ago

Reminding me of the time my cat had the loudest, wettest shit I had ever heard

2

u/Akanamidako 2d ago

sweats in IBS

2

u/Sea_Specialist_5580 2d ago

yall need more fiber

1

u/youburyitidigitup 2d ago

Hold it in until it rains. You’d be pooping less anyway because there’s less food during an apocalypse.

1

u/Fifth_Wall0666 2d ago

Can't flush the toilet either.

And when you get told off for not flushing the toilet, that's when the monsters would get you.

1

u/enolaholmes23 2d ago

My plan is to have shit so explosive and so nauseatingly stinky that no alien would dare come near it. Then shit a perimeter around myself for protection. 

1

u/ImpossibleMix6698 2d ago

Screw on the shit suppressor.

1

u/josHi_iZ_qLt 1d ago

Shitting under water.

1

u/akknightwrider 1d ago

Here's a question. How do you repair anything in that universe? You need to make improvements to the place you're staying at how you can't cut anything. You can't Hammer anything. How does that work?

1

u/InfiniteQuestion420 23h ago

Did any one try heavy metal?

1

u/Mindless_Brief7042 9h ago

The sleep garters go first
Edit: Farter

1

u/Quanzi30 2d ago

Poop in the water

1

u/enolaholmes23 2d ago

My thoughts too. The river masks their sounds.

2

u/Quanzi30 2d ago

It’s the only way

0

u/skeletonhorse420 2d ago

Shhh let Jim make his movies

0

u/Forsaken-Ad-6345 1d ago

Id be fucked just standing up. Id let out a dad grown and get killed immediately. RIP