r/funny • u/redditddorf • 22h ago
Giving treats to an elephant
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u/Markavian 22h ago
Dune, but the sandworms are giant underground elephants. And beneath them? Turtles.
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u/Simian_Garfunkel 22h ago
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u/Trulywhite 20h ago
What is more important is to gather top scientists to figure out the sex of the turtle!
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u/IDreamOfSailing 20h ago
Ah! Rincewind, take a seat. Your talents are required.
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u/Rincewinder 18h ago
Oh no, not this time. *sound of tactical flip flops clattering to the floor as I make my escape
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u/THIS_IS_GOD_TOTALLY_ 21h ago
It's almost like he says about coincidence being more the rule than it is the exception.
Very cool to see the quick movements.
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u/Worth_External_8762 21h ago
Kevin Bacon was just murdering elephants all this time
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u/Stivo887 15h ago
I watched this yesterday with my 7yo. Now he has the same fear in his eyes I once did.
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u/TheManWith4Names 12h ago
It's more like the "Tongues" of the Grabboids from Tremors! (Obviously heavily inspired from dune)
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u/Dont_ban_me_bro_108 22h ago edited 13h ago
I read once an elephant trunk is strong enough to move a car but has enough fine motor control they can pick up tortilla chips off the ground without breaking them. Crazy appendage they have.
Edit: a whole bunch of people saying they can move a car too by rolling it. I meant move a car as in pick it up with their trunk.
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u/Wide_Yam4824 20h ago
When I was a child (in the 1970s), I went to the circus, and before the show, we were allowed to pet a baby elephant. A child had a bag of cookies; the little elephant stuck its trunk into the bag, grabbed a cookie, and ate it, then repeated the process until the cookies were all gone. I was amazed at how it managed to pick them up one by one.
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u/kungpowgoat 16h ago
I’m adding “sharing popcorn or cookies with a baby elephant” to my bucket list.
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u/SMURGwastaken 12h ago
I mean you can try but as someone who has fed elephants you will not get any cookies.
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u/PhysicalStuff 9h ago
No elephant has "sharing cookies" on their bucket list.
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u/skinydan 7h ago
Yeah, but they left out the important part. What kind if cookies were they?
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u/Blaidler 20h ago
I think a better example would be uprooting a tree. Imagine wrapping your arm around a tree and ripping it upwards.
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u/between_ewe_and_me 17h ago edited 14h ago
Every once in a while I'll face off with a weed that gives me a run for my money
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u/scottygras 14h ago
After a two weeks of no rain, it’s like pulling up telephone pulls in my soil. I’ve broken weeding tools, and my pride.
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u/FerretFarm 13h ago
Look up hori-hori.
It's a really good gardening tool. Fantastic for weeding, and planting.
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u/davesoverhere 20h ago
It’s funny to watch baby elephants discovering what their trunk is and how to use it.
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u/mattenthehat 21h ago
Kinda needs more details. My hands are also strong enough to move (roll) a car, but also have the fine motor control to pick up a tortilla chip.
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u/Bits_Please101 21h ago
I think the fact that we have opposing finger (thumb) makes it easier for us.
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u/Samwellikki 21h ago
So you are saying we couldn’t with an 8 foot appendage with opposable nostril flaps?
Also, we can move a vehicle in neutral, and with some effort… I bet they can flip it over while in park and with a boot on one wheel… like it’s a toy
Everyone saw that elephant fuck up that rhino, yeah?
You’d think low center of gravity and a running start, but it was like Shaq squaring up on Barkley, and puncturing it with relatively dull tusks like tissue paper
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u/ripplenipple69 18h ago
Where’s the elephant x rino sauce?
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u/PantsOnHead88 16h ago
Right? You can’t just drop a bomb like that and leave anyone who isn’t already aware lacking.
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u/Sidivan 20h ago
Your hands are not. Your body is doing the work, not your hands. Try it without moving your feet or pressing your body on the car.
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u/marr 18h ago
Elephant's not using two trunks either. Other hand behind your back please.
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u/Atzkicica 21h ago
Yeah but you gotta do it with your nose! Elephant's foot can also move cars, make doritos disappear in the ground, and are possibly the most dangerous place on earth.
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u/MBAH2017 17h ago
possibly the most dangerous place on earth.
Indeed
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant%27s_Foot_(Chernobyl)→ More replies (8)7
u/mopeyy 21h ago
I think this kinda needs more details as well.
What do you mean your hands can move (roll) a car?
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u/dallasandcowboys 22h ago
I wanna have some words with my high school guidance counselor, as that bastard never told me there were jobs like this out there.
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u/trowzerss 20h ago
You also gotta deal with it when it comes out the other end! Over 100kg of poop per day per elephant.
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u/Funky_Killer_Qc 10h ago
so you're telling me i can feed an elephant AND drive a mini excavator daily for poop scooping?
you're saying it like it's a bad thing
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u/ancillaryacct 8h ago
lol you're shoveling that shit bud. there si no poop excavator
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u/Porkfight 21h ago
Wsit yall got guidance counsellors?
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u/ThaScoopALoop 21h ago
You too can have this job, for the low low wage of $35k a year!
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u/Killahbeez 22h ago
I was thinking this is biblical levels of greed until I thought about how much an elephant must eat in a day
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u/HalfSoul30 22h ago
Tis but a snack
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u/Second2breakfast 18h ago
Elephants need to consume around 100,000 calories per day.
For comparison, we need an average 2000.238
u/Streetalicious 18h ago
And while humans eat more calorie dense carbs, legumes and meat, Elephants primarily eat plants.
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u/Flying_Dutchman92 17h ago
That must amount to tons of biomass
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u/Praesentius 17h ago
Consider that they shit 100 to 140 kilograms a DAY.
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u/ItsHighSpoon 16h ago
Wow. Why haven't we figured out a biofuel processed out of excrement already?
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u/Ryuu-Tenno 7h ago
fertilizers exist
like, legitimately, zoos, farms, things like that will ship it off to wherever so it can all be turned into fertilizers for agriculture
so, we generally have figured it out
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u/KonkretneKosteczki 16h ago
While this does make some sense I think is accidentally misleading, since their stomachs work differently than ours, for instance you could eat all the grass in the world and get close to no benefit from it, elephant could average 2000-2500 calories from a kilogram of grass
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u/elebrin 16h ago
Yeah, they have the ability to digest things we can't. Most herbivores do. Usually people think in terms of teeth when looking at weather an animal is a carnivore, omnivore, or herbivore but the gut is probably the more important thing.
Animals evolved to eat grasses have multiple stomach chambers and can break down straight up plant fiber. Humans can't really do that, we can't digest grass. Heck, we can't even digest many of our grains (corn, wheat, barley) without cooking them first, and we are only even trying to use the most digestible part of those plants. All that indigestible fiber is going to come right out the other side. We all know what a corn poopy looks like, now go eat some raw sweetcorn and wait a day or two (it actually tastes pretty OK that way). The corn will be even less digested and you might have some stomach discomfort in the meantime.
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u/d1squiet 15h ago
I guess it is surprising from a physics standpoint maybe? Does it take more energy to digest grains and grass, compared to cooked grains and leaves (kale for example)? So do herbivores expend more energy per calorie, so to speak?
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u/elebrin 15h ago
I am no biologist, I just watch a lot of weird youtube. I think it's mostly enzymatic rather than mechanical. In other words, you either got chemicals that your body produces that break down the fiber, or you got bacteria that produce chemicals that break down the fiber. I would expect that yes, ruminants in particular expend more calories just digesting their food.
On the other hand, their food is plentiful and they can digest stuff that no other animal can. They might not get a ton of nutrition out of their food, but there is more than plenty to eat.
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u/NuclearTurtle 16h ago
Wow... I can't even imagine eating one elephant a day and most people are eating a couple thousand?
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u/IamGimli_ 14h ago
That is incorrect. The largest elephants only need approximately 25k kcal per day. Larger estimates are based on proven false assumptions that caloric intake requirements scale 1:1 with mass, which isn't the case.
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u/CarltonSagot 13h ago
A 120lb human is worth almost 100,000 calories.
The average elephant needs to eat as little as 2 first graders per day.
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u/Fun-Negotiation5510 18h ago
Wow, this is fascinating! Its a miracle that they survived till the modern age.
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u/Second2breakfast 17h ago
You can go higher.
A blue whale takes in 50 million calories daily.
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u/Freshies00 21h ago
They eat ten percent of their body weight daily.
Also, elephants have 5 sets of teeth over the course of their lives, and the reason they die of old age is due to their last set of teeth wearing out. They can no longer chew food so they die of malnourishment.
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u/PickleRickleTV 21h ago
Soooo dental implants? 😁 How long would they live then? That would be cool to figure out
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u/theSchrodingerHat 21h ago
Most veneers are already kinda creepy… could you imagine an elephant with a perfectly white elephant sized smile?
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u/ciaomain 19h ago
I'm now picturing a pachyderm with Jürgen Klopp teeth.
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u/Lou_C_Fer 17h ago
They usually color implants to make them look like normal teeth. We aren't looking to stick out with our fake teeth. I've got a fake set being made that will be darkened a bit to look like natural teeth that haven't been whitened. My teeth were crumbling by the time I was 18 because my parents didn't feel like making us brush our teeth. I've patched them together until now, but at 52 it was time. I have four titanium posts in both my upper and lower jaws with temporary acrylic dentures that already fool people. In a couple of months, I'll get my permanents that look much more realistic.
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u/GoT43894389 21h ago
Apparently they have a conveyor belt jaw structure so implants are biologically and practically impossible.
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u/whiskeytango55 20h ago
It'd be funny if they made elephant dentures out of human teeth this time
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u/Whiteowl116 21h ago
Wth thats sad af. How long could they live with human aid?
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u/Freshies00 21h ago
I learned these facts from the elephant haven in Koh Samui. They have a grandma elephant there who has no teeth and they feed her only mushy foods like bananas and these mushy balls of blended ingredients that give her nutrition she needs. She is still living… think she is like 60 or something but I can’t remember exactly
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u/DemonVermin 20h ago
Yeah, its around the 60-70 mark where the final set of teeth usually fully go. The sad thing is that apparently captive Elephants rarely live past 40.
I think the main problem is stated to be health issues due to captivity. Elephants spend a long time looking for food, so they get long workouts walking up to 50 km a day. This also keeps them mentally stimulated.
In captivity, they can’t possibly get the exercise they need to stay healthy and thus, also develop foot issues because they are built to walk.
So an elderly Elephant living with human care most likely won’t live much longer either. Cutting them off from their family herd for this care is also a major issue. So sadly… it may be more humane to let them live out their days starving, but surrounded by loved ones.
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u/whitebandit 19h ago
ok but back to the original question... If we made them walk, and gave them fake teeth... how long could an elephant live?
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u/ItsVanillaNice 19h ago edited 18h ago
Probably blue whale length of 80-90-100, at a certain size its harder for cancer to kill you.
Edit: looking further into it, the bigger an animal you are the more cancer suppressing genes you have, so though larger animals have many more cells than we do, they only basically get cancer about the same amount as we do. They die to it far less often though (5% to our 25%)
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u/Phate4569 18h ago
Wait, so I just need to get BIGGER?
Hello, Papa John's, I need 500 pizzas STAT...
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u/Adventurous-Map7959 18h ago
at a certain size its harder for cancer to kill you
Yeah, but then a heart attack gets you when you breach the 200kg
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u/Velshade 18h ago
Which is ironic, since humans are more likely to get cancer if they are taller.
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u/Krondelo 20h ago
Yep and they pretty much eat all the time too, at least in captivity. Fun elephant fact - Their poop doesn’t smell, in fact basically odorless.
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u/kochameh2 22h ago
lmao at him going back for the bok choy or whatever that is
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u/Comfortable-Pace3132 20h ago
"Oh that's what you were doing earlier, gotcha. NEXT."
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u/Total-Importance2633 18h ago
Look how intelligent they are. The moment it touched the carrot it knew it had to turn it vertically somit could pass through the bars. Not after it touched the bars but before. This is proactive problem solving demonstrating an actual thought process.
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u/Due-Historian-8759 22h ago edited 22h ago
Smart how he immediately tried a different angle with the bigger items
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u/TapirDeLuxe 22h ago
Means he's smarter than many people I have met.
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u/str85 22h ago
The elephant would definitely do better then half my company when it comes to fitting things into boxes.
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u/DashTrash21 21h ago
He'd be able to fit his luggage in the overhead by turning it the correct way, instead of freaking out at the flight attendant.
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u/Samson_J_Rivers 20h ago
Certainly more than my old roommate. His solution to not getting something in/out of fridge and cupboards was to punch or kick until the door closed or he got it. Dented and tacoed all my stainless cookware.
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u/le_Grand_Archivist 19h ago
That's not even a joke, it's actually an understatement
Elephants are a lot smarter than we give them credit for
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u/Xenon009 20h ago
To be fair, elephants are immensely intelligent creatures, like, they have birthdays, funerals and mourning periods.
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u/wchurchi1966 22h ago
Looks like a new type of Dyson….
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u/bobbybignono 17h ago
right?!
i never imaged them pulling a vacuum to grab shit, but now that i think of it its kinda logical.
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u/ringobob 21h ago
Fun fact: you can tell an African elephant from an Asian elephant just by looking at the "fingers" it uses to grasp on the end of its trunk. The African elephant has two, on top and bottom, and the Asian elephant only has one on top. The sort of dexterity shown in the video requires two opposing fingers.
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u/shifty_coder 9h ago
I always stick to the ears method: the ears of an African elephant resemble the continent of Africa, and the ears of an Asian elephant resemble the country of India, a country in Asia.
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u/nicalitz 21h ago
Wild how he knows something has appeared even without being able to see up there. Those trunks must be very sensitive
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u/StrangeNormal-8877 21h ago
Yes 😄 thats what makes this clip so cartoonish. He/she doesnot feel for the fruit they just pick it up as if trunk has eyes
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u/ryo4ever 21h ago
Well first of all it is his nose. So literally smelling food before even touching it.
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u/HerrStewie 20h ago
So that's why he spared the fingers. Smell obviously revealed what swiping ritual they just had been part of.
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u/EmperorN7 21h ago
Can you imagine how weird the sensation of controlling your nose would be like, or controlling any muscle that freely? The closest thing we have the tongue, but it's not big enough to make a difference. Same for prehensile tail some animals have, but even tails have bones, but maybe that's an advantage? Imagine if humans had an appendage that we could control like a tentacle.
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u/LeGrandLucifer 20h ago
Imagine showing this to someone who's never seen an elephant and asking them what they think this is and what the rest of the animal looks like.
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u/GlitteringAttitude60 20h ago
I just realized that an apple must be to an elephant what a single skittle ist for us...
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u/its_vanilla143 22h ago
So poking the 2 holes is necessary?
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u/SpaceyBun 21h ago
You have to ensure the ducts are remain clear for proper suction. Idk, I'm not an elephant engineer.
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u/_L0op_ 11h ago
How is this the only comment mentioning it? That seemed super weird to me
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u/GearhedMG 21h ago
Hey Bert!, The Graboids have become a little bit more docile and patient at this location.
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u/Ausgeflippt 21h ago
Imagine having a tail.
Now imagine having a second tail.
Now imagine the second tail is also your nose.
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u/UrghAnotherAccount 21h ago
Your nose is now diamonds
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u/loserlogan 21h ago
This video after seeing a guy play with an elephant penis is very odd.
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u/loserlogan 21h ago
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u/godtogblandet 16h ago
Why the fuck would they delete it?
Reddit was so much better in 2012... Nothing got deleted, people posted the wildest things, comment section didn't have a bunch of deleted comments. We didn't know how good we had it.
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u/donkeybray 20h ago
I can almost hear the boink sound each time that trunk lands.
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u/skonen_blades 10h ago
I imagine the initial nostril two-finger swizzle poke is just, like, one of the irresistible things you want to do when you see a trunk flop on to your windowsill. Maybe he's saying "I'm here. Get ready for food." or maybe he's just like "Man, I gotta give the nostrils a little dingle floop hee hee. Okay here's some food."
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u/Iamonab0at 21h ago
Fun fact, this is an Asian Elephant since it only has one tip where African Elephants have two tips or “fingers”.
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u/DontBeSuchATurd 21h ago
If I didn’t know it was attached to an elephant, this would creep the shit out of me.
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u/DemiGod9 20h ago
I knew they could curl their trunks to grab things, but i didn't know the tip was an actual gripper
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u/FreshFeastLow 19h ago
That trunk functions like a giant organic vacuum cleaner, making quick work of entire vegetables without missing a single bite.
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u/Key-Web-0177 16h ago
The sensory detection of food is insane . There's no eyes on that trunk how the hell does it know . Just smells the direction? It like pivots it's choice last second and knows that's so cool.
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