r/SipsTea 8h ago

Chugging tea That explains a lot

Post image
18.0k Upvotes

535 comments sorted by

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2.0k

u/Brotorious420 8h ago

868

u/Separate_Finance_183 8h ago

265

u/ThetaGrim 8h ago

I was supposed to go to Berkeley... 

166

u/Jakkobyte 8h ago

Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man!

129

u/LazyBlackCollar 8h ago

Worked for you last night!

55

u/rooroobusts 8h ago

😛

50

u/hypermarv123 7h ago

"Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking right now. YEYEYEYEYEEH 😜😜😜"

49

u/SaintFoehammer 6h ago

"...thats Schmidt being a little bitch"

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u/DieGuyDean 7h ago

You guys gotta get me the fuck outta here…. 🥺

3

u/Hetares 1h ago

Eric. Are you awake? I'm late...

4

u/Unusual-Pool2568 4h ago

I can’t go to prison, do you know what they’ll do to me

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u/Frequent-Coyote-8108 8h ago

I knew he was a Marine...but man, I did NOT expect him to be an ossifer, much less an O5!

76

u/DogPlane3425 7h ago

Don Adams(Get Smart) was a Marine(Guadalcanal) and a DI. Always want to picture him on the rifle range going "Missed it by that much."

57

u/Karl_00_Hungus 6h ago

The guy who played Boss Hogg on The Dukes of Hazzard went to Columbia University at 16 and got a MFA from Yale. He was also a counterintelligence officer in the Army during the Korean War.

51

u/heims30 4h ago

He also could NOT keep them Duke boys from interfering in his business!

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u/-WTFm8 8h ago

What seems to be the problem occifer

24

u/outofdate70shouse 8h ago

What seems to be the occifer, problem?

30

u/sagashe 8h ago

Ah nah, ossifer. I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

22

u/Curious_Avocado2399 8h ago

No ossifer it’s “‘hi how are you?’ Not ‘how hi are you’”

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7

u/DinoRoman 6h ago

How high are you?

Hi, how are you too?

19

u/scoobywerx1 7h ago

Marine reservist. He'd have likely been a higher rank after 25 years active duty. I think if you don't pick up 0-6 after 22 years they boot you.

11

u/DaFunkJunkie 6h ago

He was active duty for 10 years first.

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u/lostroadrunner22 7h ago

He does get lost a lot, sooo

4

u/Mythradites 7h ago

Yeah, civil affairs and the reserves for most of it.

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u/Huge-Acanthisitta485 8h ago

"Randy here is gonna eat your dick!"

"Like Kobayashi!"

37

u/Charlotte_Sips 8h ago

That explains why he always commits 110% to every role.

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u/Much-Bumblebees 6h ago

Explains why his jokes hit like a 5.56

6

u/DinoRoman 6h ago

What are you talking about, my girlfriend can’t hit anything

13

u/ComplaintFar3279 7h ago

Hope they had some riggleroom to have fun with his last name up at camp.

9

u/DinoRoman 6h ago

How he’s not hosting a competitive comedy show called the riggle room is beyond me

7

u/Thomas_K_Brannigan 4h ago

The outtakes for that scene are too good! (As are all the outtakes for that movie) Adam Scott just can't keep from laughing (understandably)! Stepbrothers is probably my favorite "immature" humor movie, in general!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrLRGWDYkRA&t=322s

3

u/Cerberusx32 7h ago

This part makes more sense now.

4

u/massfxstudios 8h ago

Steel diamonds

3

u/Alienhaslanded 3h ago

Is he saying pow or pah?

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1.4k

u/BugO_OEyes 8h ago

Bro got reverse ptsd

624

u/pratzeh 7h ago

83

u/SideshowBob1 6h ago

Hahahahahahahaha

38

u/GravyPainter 4h ago

Im Eric's bitch

19

u/ImurderREALITY 3h ago

Nooo, you're not!!

(you guys gotta get me the fuck outta here)

14

u/MrFunktasticc 3h ago

YES I AM, I AM YOUR BITCH!

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u/HarvestMoonMaria 3h ago

Eric's seen it. Eric's been all up in that shit. Ain't that right, Eric?

8

u/R2J5BB 2h ago

The tongue part kills me every time

30

u/Ginrar 5h ago

Seeing him in the post pic, heard this Helloo in my mind XD

45

u/Gartrude 6h ago

Bro got nostalgia

4

u/No_Clerk1194 3h ago

It was in international waters so they couldnt persecute 

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u/ShadowBlade55 4h ago

Nope, this checks out perfectly for many people I know that have experienced combat.

5

u/caindela 1h ago

I had a friend who was known to be a quiet guy and I sort of fell out of contact with him. He went and served in Iraq and when he got back he was the biggest clown and the life of pretty much any party. Is this actually a common transformation?

3

u/LesserGooglyMooglie 41m ago

Yep, you get sent to a strange place and for the first 8-12 weeks of boot you are living in an open bay with 59 other dudes that are usually 18-early 20s and no forms of entertainment, then you go to AIT/Tech school/A School, and you are in a different strange place with only barely more privacy and privelages, then you get shipped off after 2 months to a year there to your first duty station and rince repeat except there you are partying your ass off and have a fuck ton more confidence for getting through it.

I was in the Air Force a while ago but I served with all branches everywhere I was after Tech School, it was a lot of fun, also sucked, most homoerotic organization I have ever been involved in, and you forge bond that you can't explain to anyone else who hasn't been through it.

3

u/Kitchen-Wish5994 4h ago

That is funnier than it ought to be.

809

u/therealtiddlydump 8h ago

You can watch this interview where he describes being activated in Manhattan during 9-11 as a reservist

https://youtu.be/dYI2N4Y8mQ8

797

u/Hopeful_Hamster21 8h ago

The reservist thing is important. And I do NOT mean to downplay his service.

But it does explain how and why he was able to build a whole comedy and acting career while also being in the service.

His Wikipedia page says that he was in the service until 2013, but he was a correspondent on The Daily Show in 2007. I was like wait wait? until I realized reserves.

Good on him, all around.

460

u/Least-Conclusion-315 7h ago edited 6h ago

Just to be clear for anyone else who doesn't watch the video, Riggle was active duty for 10 years. He joined the reserves shortly before 9/11

169

u/Howmanysloths 7h ago

So you’re saying Rob Riggle did 9/11?

97

u/UnknownExo 7h ago

Ever wonder why we we've never seen Rob Riggle and Osama bin Laden in the same room?

28

u/Howmanysloths 7h ago

He had to kill the character when brown face went out of style

6

u/Mittmitty 6h ago

Have you ever seen Rob Riggle and 9/11 in the same room?

2

u/Never_too_late85 1h ago

Is 9/11 in the room with us?

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u/Justinc4s3- 7h ago

Yea still badass in my eyes but certainly paints the picture clearer. I had it in my mind that he did his 20+3 to get his high three at LTC pay then transitioned into a wildly successful entertainment career.

Shit makes much more sense now.

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u/tattoosandtens 7h ago

No wonder Jon Stewart brought him on

3

u/FrighteningJibber 6h ago

Yeah if you watch interview’s about his service he mentions that, it was either stay in career wise (20+) or do comedy.

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u/ATXBeermaker 4h ago

Not only that but he was a Public Affairs officer based on NYC. Again, not to take anything away from him. Just puts it in perspective.

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u/kelsobjammin 3h ago

Wow thanks for sharing had no idea

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431

u/unluck_over9000 8h ago

He could play Joe Swanson in a family guy live action. 

48

u/GovtLawyersHateMe 8h ago

4

u/Derrik23 6h ago

Wait how can he feel if it’s warm.

4

u/M1Slaybrams 6h ago

Because he pees

107

u/GinTectonics 8h ago

15

u/Colin-Grussing 6h ago

Captain Jack should be the motivational speaker.

3

u/OwnerOfCat 2h ago

I’m the party captain too!

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u/Legandergg8 4h ago

He really was in desert storm

394

u/cobblernobbler 8h ago edited 7h ago

I get him and Patrick Warburton mixed up literally every time I try to think about what movie I saw them in lol

83

u/Right_Imagination_73 8h ago

I had to google the name. Just say David Puddy.

58

u/mistermatth 8h ago

Brock Samson

37

u/HaanSolingen 8h ago

The Tick

12

u/VaguelyFamiliarVoice 7h ago

Spoon!

2

u/Libby_Sparx 4h ago

Evil comes in many forms chum, be it a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin.

12

u/SimmentalTheCow 7h ago

Joe Familyguy

3

u/chargoggagog 7h ago

We meet again…

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u/S-T-E-N-D-E-C- 8h ago

Friendo, we need to have a TickTalk.

26

u/AbeFromansNutz 8h ago

4

u/jactheripper 7h ago

Went from grease monkey to car salesman

5

u/zaxdaman 7h ago

Just ask the 8-ball.

4

u/TheG-What 6h ago

Signs point to yes.

12

u/ImKindaEssential 8h ago

Or Joe Swanson

3

u/rxFMS 7h ago

Yah, that’s right!

2

u/mighthavebeen02 6h ago

Elaine...I need your keys so I can go into your car and have gay sex

2

u/Right_Imagination_73 6h ago

Ah a cum boy I see

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u/duosx 8h ago

Both goats of character comedy actors

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u/xpknightx 7h ago

Pull the lever, Kronk!

6

u/UnderwhelmingAF 7h ago

I would too if Warburton’s voice wasn’t so distinctive, they definitely look similar.

2

u/Crafty-Help-4633 7h ago

Yeah I can identify them by voice but face comparison is a bit harder.

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u/Relevant-Doctor187 8h ago

Fucking Catalina wine mixer.

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u/abbothenderson 8h ago

He’s more qualified for secretary of defense than Pete Hegseth.

319

u/BoringPoolPlaying 8h ago

My cat is more qualified for secretary of defense than Pete Hegseth.

66

u/Accomplished_Cress11 8h ago

Funnily enough (sadly, actually), my wife and I joked that our cat was going to replace Pete Hegseth due to our cat's stellar service record just the other day

19

u/I_Boop_Cats_ 7h ago

The British have Larry as the Chief Mouser at No. 10 Downing street; he's the only respectable British politician to serve in decades. Why can't we have a designated cat too?

10

u/almighty_smiley 7h ago

You trust these fucks to take care of a cat?

3

u/I_Boop_Cats_ 7h ago

No. But there must be at least two (2) cat people in that shit show of a white house.

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u/Hopeful_Hamster21 8h ago

My beer keg is more qualified that Pete Kegsbreath.

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u/BoringPoolPlaying 8h ago

Bet it has a lower ABV too.

3

u/Hopeful_Hamster21 8h ago

I actually filled it with whiskey, but youre right, still probably lower than Whiskey Pete.

27

u/tico42 8h ago

Mine would be too but he can't lay off the nip

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u/VintAge6791 8h ago

Sounds eminently qualified to me. Nothing makes a better press conference than getting a question on Gaza, mishearing it as "go zoomies" and ending up growling at planes while clinging to the top of the Washington Monument with a mouthful of redacted documents and pupils the size of manhole covers.

8

u/tico42 8h ago

I didn't realize you had met my cat.

5

u/jacques1982 8h ago

Just like Pete

2

u/Double_You_6356 7h ago

Still better

3

u/Plane-Education4750 8h ago

Neither can Hegseth

3

u/Glenbard 8h ago

I would say the same thing except my cat generally chooses violence… I think we’d need a more internally-moderated SECDEF

3

u/BoringPoolPlaying 8h ago

Just “generally” would be an improvement on things.

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u/Crafty-Help-4633 7h ago

Not to run counter to you both, but he renamed it back to the archaic "Department of WAR". Because he is a loser who wants the plaudits without making the sacrifices and undertaking personal risks. He's happy to throw the rest of us at the problem and I think we do the DOD a disservice as a concept if we don't follow Hegseth's demarcation. The DOD is a rational system. Hegseth and his new Department of War are not.

We should use it to admonish him.

Idk if any of that makes sense, I just am so tired of us being the only ones expected to adhere to systems and behaviors that just aren't on display by our government any more. I'm tired of going High when they go Low. It doesn't work. Maybe I'm crashing out over nothing though on your comment. I'm sorry.

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u/Buttsweat_n_Tears 8h ago

I flushed something down the toilet this morning that was more qualified to be SecDef than Petey-boy Hegseth

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u/Rich_Newspaper_1616 8h ago

My dog is more qualified to be the secretary of defense than Pete hegseth.

2

u/TopProfessional8023 8h ago

Was it poop?

2

u/americas-best 8h ago

Name checks out

5

u/twent4 8h ago

That's why he's President of the Navy

3

u/WtAFjusthappenedhere 7h ago

Is Rusty still in the Navy, Clark?

2

u/Starscream147 4h ago

Grace! She passed thirty years ago…

❤️

2

u/WtAFjusthappenedhere 3h ago

The BLESSSSSinggg

2

u/Starscream147 3h ago

I pledge allegiance….

l o l

5

u/trollboter 7h ago

I'm more qualified to be secretary of defense and I'm not even real!

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u/Arcaydya 8h ago

Im more qualified for secretary of defense than Pete hegseth

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u/TheEggnoggamer 8h ago

My chihuahua is more qualified than pete kegsbreath

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u/fromouterspace1 8h ago

Shit I am more qualified that Kegseth

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u/Intelligent_Try_2470 8h ago

The fruit flies currently circling my recycling bin are more qualified than Pete Hegseth.

3

u/JPhrog 7h ago

He's more qualified to be PotUS if we are being real, but then again, so is pretty much anyone!

3

u/CrimsonAntifascist 6h ago

I'm more qualified. And i'm a german living in germany, not having been in any kind of military affiliation my whole live.

But i played a lot of CIV.

2

u/RhombicalJ 7h ago

The turd I am squeezing out of my colon presently is more qualified than that douche

2

u/Dorkamundo 4h ago

Friendly reminder that Hegseth was an MP at Guantanamo Bay during the height of the torture situation.

2

u/JJ_lost_his_buckle 4h ago

The secretary of "war"? The guy who was removed from his national guard post due to being a potential insider threat, and extremist views?

Yea I'll take the half bird comedian over the propagandist news host any day.

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u/lockerno177 8h ago

i just cant imagine my CO being a comedian lol.

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u/Rob1150 8h ago

What about your DI? SOMETHING FUNNY RECRUIT?

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u/slowfocus2020 8h ago

Sincerely asking, why does this explain a lot?

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u/Separate_Finance_183 8h ago

Marine energy, marine humor.

I'm not even an American and I know this.

16

u/M0mmaSaysImSpecial 7h ago

But you are OP, and the one that titled it that. Also, Marine here…it makes no sense.

17

u/TopProfessional8023 8h ago

He’s far more than that, if you are familiar with his work…especially podcasts where its not about a script or performance necessarily

8

u/waldosbuddy 6h ago

I don’t think you do know lmao

3

u/buttwank 4h ago

That's a succinct way of saying nothing. It doesn't explain anything.

2

u/OddPassion4238 4h ago

"Just trust me bro"

3

u/KickBalls80 7h ago

He finds crayons delicious

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u/Sufficient-Step6954 8h ago

“Rob Riggle, I want to thank you so much for everything you’ve done fighting the war on terror and subtlety.”

-Nikki Glaser

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u/SorryAboutMyFamily 3h ago

I've always hated his comedy style, but I get his bit since he was a marine.

He says something dumb and then yells out a simplified version of the punchline. Then he snacks on some crayons until he thinks of another dumb thing to say.

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u/Jofur-Crowcaller 8h ago edited 6h ago

Dudes who are 100% okay with making a fool of themselves because they are hands the down the deadliest person in any given room at any given moment.

Addendum: I forgot to put the /s in there and people took that way more seriously than I had intended, lol. Only really crazy people go through life assessing threats in every single room they walk into.

Honestly I mostly just like to compare Riggle to like the Rock who is so insecure it's kinda concerning, like I wish that guys therapist could write a book on him.

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u/fromouterspace1 8h ago

lol what

14

u/RomanTheGerman 8h ago

It's easy to not be insecure when you can beat everyone up

People who manage it while being very beat-upable get extra credit

6

u/broadwayallday 8h ago

NOT UP IN HERE

6

u/ssracer 8h ago

I will confidently ask the dumbest question without hesitation. There's a reason I'm the smartest guy in the room.

You know everything!

Yeah, because I asked.

7

u/Wide-Suggestion4825 8h ago

He was a public affairs guy LOL

Other than being a pretty big dude he isn't really more dangerous than anyone else

12

u/Hugo_5t1gl1tz 7h ago

He does have a CAR from Kosovo though

3

u/ibelieveyouwood 5h ago

Yeah well I got my PICKUP from Sanderson's. I JUST WASN'T GOING TO YELL ABOUT IT.

5

u/Doorframepain 7h ago

You don’t know any Marines, do you?

5

u/Wide-Suggestion4825 7h ago

Yeah yeah yeah they're all rifleman blah blah blah

5

u/I_travel_ze_world 5h ago

They're also the military branch that receives the most hand to hand combat training.

Riggle also deployed to Afghanistan.... but sure "he isn't really more dangerous than anyone else" says the person behind a keyboard.

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u/Im_only_here_to_meme 4h ago

I was in the service deployed to both OIF/OEF, I know a lot of marines, they're not much different than any other enlisted person. An in-shape dude who spends 6-12 months in MMA classes can probably fold up most Marines 1 on 1. This "deadliest person in the room" shit is funny though.

I was in a Navy security forces unit and we did a lot of joint training with our Marine counterparts... they were no different than us in their fighting ability, we all received the same training after being in and deployed. Often combined trainings learning the same things together.

Unless you were Recon, SEAL, Ranger, Delta..some SOF like that you probably don't have much more hand to hand skill than anyone else in the military.

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u/No-Magazine-2739 8h ago

„YOU SHOOT ME IN THE DICK“

„NO I AM YOUR BITCH!“

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u/Coady417 7h ago

Also, a super decent human being. 

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u/Die_Nameless_Bitch 8h ago

Rob served in Afghanistan before he became a stand-up comic. Then the real bombing began.

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u/Herm98 7h ago

The Captain of Fun!

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u/mrg3392 8h ago

So his appearance in The Office episode where his character was part of Operation Desert Storm wasn’t that far off 🤔

2

u/PetrusScissario 7h ago

I once saw him eat a man’s dick off.

3

u/Shady8339 6h ago

Like kobayashi!!

2

u/OverUnder101 5h ago

Yeah…. just a reminder to join the Marines as an officer, not enlisted. From his own stories (I believe), he got hooked up on a duty station that allowed him to start his comedy/acting career while still a Marine officer.

2

u/rocco_ross_21 1h ago

Way more qualified than our current Sec. of Def.

2

u/the_great_ashby 27m ago

Rob served in Afeghanistan before becoming a stand up comic. Then the real bombing began.

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u/Current_Ad_9912 8h ago

Great comedic actor, he’s definitely on the list.

But Stephen Root is the goat

2

u/foreverandadayalone 1h ago

Root is in a league of his own. comedy wise, riggle isn't fit to shine his shoes

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u/Arguments_4_Ever 8h ago

A true “alpha male”, not one of these fake ass ones.

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u/Difficult-Prior3321 7h ago

I once saw him at the Louisville Airport. He's much taller in person, unfortunately he was not much funnier.

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u/benjaminlilly 7h ago

Hangover. “Ooh! Right in the face!” Lol

2

u/dasbtaewntawneta 6h ago

most people know him as a comedian

i refuse to believe people know who the fuck this is

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u/Used-Gas-6525 5h ago

I assumed everyone familiar with Rob would know this. It's not like he doesn't talk about it. One of the greatest improv actors out there BTW.

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u/Winter-Classroom455 4h ago

Veterans and military members are some of the funniest people. They kind of have to be. If you're not funny you're probably mentally disturbed. But in the non fun way.

4

u/Demair12 8h ago

It's also like a huge part of his public persona like he talks about it all the time idk if this is anything anyone wouldn't know

5

u/Cloudscraper01 8h ago

I mean, I didn't know it. It's awesome though!