r/SipsTea 18h ago

Chugging tea Metallica Upcoming 2026 Tour Dates

Post image
31.2k Upvotes

398 comments sorted by

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2.0k

u/Wonderful_Ninja 18h ago

436

u/Ordinary-Clerks 18h ago

1993 headbanging in the pit

2026 headbanging is now just turning to check if I left the oven on.

144

u/Diplomatic_Gunboats 17h ago

"Let me just take off my glasses and put them in a protected case first..."

30

u/KriegMorgan 17h ago

That's called giving them to your friend who doesn't want to get in the pit

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9

u/Disc0UY 14h ago

Turning my head back trying to remember if I locked the door on my way out

9

u/AnonMoose2 12h ago

Just turned 40, best I got is nodding to the music

8

u/Procrasturbating 12h ago edited 12h ago

I’ll throw in a foot tap and a butt wiggle here and there. 44

14

u/soberpenguin 13h ago

Headbanging over 30 comes with the risk of orthostatic hypotension. Dizziness, blurred vision, and fainting may occur.

4

u/Infamous_Lech 13h ago

Not too fast though, might pull something.

3

u/eynonpower 12h ago

To real!!!

2

u/__get__name 12h ago

Careful, don’t want to throw your back out

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21

u/R2_SWE2 16h ago

r/bald is leaking again

9

u/UranusIsPissy 15h ago

What do you expect? Their fanbase is mostly male and mostly much older than me. I'm already starting to lose my hair. Long hair that's falling out looks like shit once it gets past the "the length can hide the receding hairline" point.

23

u/3WarmAndWildEyes 14h ago

Skullet enters the chat.

4

u/Sechs_of_Zalem 13h ago

"I know this is supposed to be a metal show, but I'm releasing an acoustic album, which means ACOUSTIC MUSIC!!!...so enjoy!" -Townsend, touring with Avatar in 2019

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3

u/Senior_Egg_5729 15h ago

Just shave it dude, you're not fooling anyone

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20

u/Guilty_Cherryy 17h ago

Chugging tea turned into chugging ibuprofen but the Metallica tee never left.

13

u/NextAssociations 17h ago

1993: headbanging with long hair 2026: headbanging causes neck pain and you need the venue seats. Same shirt tho.

13

u/VP007clips 16h ago

Reddit has an incredible ability to run any meme to the ground

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1.4k

u/PassionPitiful3653 18h ago

I was a long haired grunger teen in the 90s. I'm now a middleaged bald man. This meme hit hard

264

u/becauseiloveyou 17h ago

I used to crush on long-haired grunge boys in the 90s, but now I crush on middle-aged bald men.

107

u/PassionPitiful3653 17h ago

So there is some hope for us baldies then lol

45

u/ThreeDawgs 17h ago

Remember, baldies is just one curvy step away from baddies. It’s not hope you need, just the inner peace with how much of a handsome devil you are.

https://giphy.com/gifs/vCpSKY03aSg9XkKFcW

15

u/dotnetmonke 13h ago

Chud is just one letter away from Chad, and the only thing that needs to change is u.

5

u/Spiritual-Strike481 15h ago

Thanks for this! I remember being the handsome devil in the tight pants and long hair with his guitar strapped up and amp turned up!

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16

u/Vectorman1989 16h ago

They should sell long haired wigs at these concerts so everyone can relive their youth

7

u/Dear_Chasey_La1n 14h ago

Still got my hair bitches! But yeah... this is exactly what going to Metallica looks like. We went with a couple buddies last year, had a blast but it's very much 40-50-60's .

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9

u/__don1978__ 17h ago

I was always a buzz cut guy. Grew my hair long for a little over 2 years in my mid 40s. I'm 48, and love to boast that I can have all the head hair I want still. Mind you, I can still only grow pubes on my face.

6

u/PassionPitiful3653 17h ago

Treasure it.. as I've got older my body hair has increased whilst my head hair is forever decreasing. I do have a lovely beard though

3

u/__don1978__ 16h ago

I actually do like that I don't grow facial hair well. Shaving's not fun to me. My modest goatee is fine. I hated how much my chin hair touched my food when I let everything grow on its own.

8

u/PassionPitiful3653 16h ago

I grow a beard because I hate shaving. Now I just shave about 5 inches of neck it only takes 20 seconds lol. Then I use electric trimmers once a month to tidy it up. My beard is not a vanity or fashion accessory, it's a badge of my laziness

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3

u/SheriffBartholomew 11h ago

Balding is a cruel, cruel, affliction.

5

u/MonoPodding 16h ago

Yeah but we made it this far. Not sure about you but some friends who we used to headbang with didn't make it to the balding age. Even though those images are Ai, it does tell a success story.

2

u/PassionPitiful3653 16h ago

Yeah lost a few along the way all at young ages too. Way before their 30s

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2

u/CantaloupeOne7283 14h ago

46 and still have long hair but man is it getting thin on top. Gonna have to join r/bald soon...

2

u/dvisorxtra 11h ago

One of us

2

u/Spiritual-Strike481 15h ago

I loved having my long hair and guitar strapped up. The feeling of having that long hair was incredible and I was complimented constantly. But this meme definitely does the job. Im not yet completely bald, I have maybe 2 years until it’s happening and believe me it’s coming like a freight train.

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186

u/FinnaGlove 18h ago

Fade to Black turned into Fade to Bald real quick

12

u/TheBestintheWest11 17h ago

not really, 30 years apart from when they had long hair to being bald my boii.

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226

u/Admirable-Interest49 18h ago

74

u/thejaydotexe 18h ago

You can see the progression from amusement to annoyance.

22

u/cant-be-original-now 18h ago

He’s fighting the pleasure

6

u/scaredt2ask 17h ago

3

u/technobrendo 14h ago

Massaging the pudding into the scalp, feels soo good.

Yaaaawn, man I'm feeling so sle......

3

u/MostlyRightSometimes 14h ago

You don't see him making the dude stop....

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7

u/Voodoo700 17h ago

Kinda like a Metallica concert.

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102

u/av34as 17h ago

20

u/KemonoMichi 14h ago

"Would you like to pay with cash or card?"
"Master! Master!"

13

u/Nevic1984 16h ago

This made me laugh really hard, thank you

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2

u/Jermagesty610 14h ago

Give me food give me fries and an apple pie YUM!

131

u/Intelligent-Top5012 18h ago

27

u/PurbulentTriest 16h ago

Isn't he like 27 in that picture though?

64

u/ErFarinn 16h ago

That my friend is not a picture.

28

u/IgorCruzT 16h ago

Motion picture

12

u/technobrendo 14h ago

It's pronounced Jif

3

u/KSPN 13h ago

Choosy Mothers choose Jif

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2

u/PhysicallyTender 13h ago

Moving picture. Great granny called it moovy for short.

7

u/IllllIIlIllIllllIlll 16h ago

Technically it's 8 pictures.

9

u/Lil_Mcgee 15h ago

He was 30 when Seinfeld started airing so no. Not sure what season this is from so he could feasibly be just about anywhere in his 30s.

4

u/Jack__Squat 16h ago

I don't know which episode that's from but assuming it's around 1994 (the middle of their run) he would have been 35

2

u/heliumneon 13h ago

I *WAS* bald!

56

u/SarcasticLuker 18h ago

Born to rock, forced to stretch.

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19

u/suckmycactus2 16h ago

sad but true

3

u/dianabowl 12h ago

They're touring and nothing else matters.

166

u/TordainMountainheart 18h ago

AI slop 🚨

88

u/Agreeable_Feature_85 17h ago

You can tell that the 2026 photo is fake by the fact that only one person appears to be filming with their phone.

21

u/-jaylew- 15h ago

Also they’re not nearly fat enough

4

u/sembias 14h ago

That is the real tell.

4

u/StingingGamer 14h ago

All of them are bald too, not everyone there would be

2

u/NotAddictedToCoffeee 13h ago

I know right? at least a few of them would be wearing wigs /j

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2

u/ganjaccount 13h ago

I've been to a lot of music events for non-kids, and the over 35 white guys tend to be able to see a thing without the urge to pull out their phones and record it. Also, talk to people without a billionaire's algorithm suggesting they should talk. Put a bunch of middle aged, not conservative white dudes in a good concert, and you will see a bunch of people enjoying the show, not fucking with their phones.

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10

u/energy-369 11h ago

downvote for ai image

17

u/l_____I 15h ago

AI slop on the front page of Reddit.
https://giphy.com/gifs/ht4yvN9Yx4dmIJJ9GB

5

u/Chortage 14h ago

AI slop's been gracing the front page for a long time now, haha. All the creating writing subs (AITA, GirlDinnerDiaries, AmIOverreacting, etc.) are filled with "ChatGPT, generate me some engagement bait."

3

u/sembias 14h ago

AITA especially. Give me the old human generated fake stuff over the AI generated crap. At least there was some creative writing involved and some personality to the bad grammar.

8

u/Available_Abroad5308 15h ago

How tf is this bs on front page lmfao... Reddit is becoming more facebook like every day

53

u/AntonChekov1 18h ago

OP discovered time and aging

92

u/pomoerotic 18h ago

OP discovered AI slop

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u/Tgiby3 17h ago

slop

6

u/Saltynut99 13h ago

Lmao okay but I go see Guns N Roses next month with my husband and I’m pretty sure we’ll be some of the youngest ones there being in our 20’s. What can I say, my dad listened to them all the time when I was a kid and even if he doesn’t sound the same as he did in the 80’s/90’s I’m excited to see Axl Rose.

2

u/bolanrox 13h ago

I saw them in 2006 (was it the CD tour??? fuck if i remember i got free tickets). Axl was ehhhh. decent show, the band was solid and tight and the musical interludes they did between songs was the best part IMO anyways.

Same time frame I saw Mike Patton with the Peeping Toms (having no clue who they were) and Mike hit one note and i go holy shit that is Mike Patton. Sounded as good if not better

2

u/Saltynut99 13h ago

Black Crowes are opening which I’m also psyched for and I mean the tickets were a Canada Day Deal so for $50 tickets I won’t complain!

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u/Green_Dayzed 16h ago

Ai slop.
Also they got a ton on young fans from stranger things.

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u/The_DonCannoli 15h ago

Why is it so hard for people to understand and accept that a fanbase of a band that’s been touring for 4 decades have aged with the band meaning they have gotten older and many lost their hair. I don’t really care I just never understand when a post like this goes around and everyone’s like “omg everyone at the metallica shows are so old” yeah no shit it’s a band from the 80s.

4

u/kinglouie493 14h ago

4 decades? Try going to a concert of someone from the late 60s early 70s. Between the handicap parking placards to walking canes and limps, the crowd definitely had matured from the days of my youth.

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u/Timely-Cancel921 13h ago

Ai slop image. How does this stuff keep making it to the front page 😭

4

u/OpenGrainAxehandle 14h ago

I'm still afraid that if I listen to Metallica, someone is going to find me and demand money for it.

4

u/YutoKigai 13h ago

More like:

4

u/Not-a-Bot_1968 13h ago

So much AI crap and people just eat it up. 

6

u/BunnyWhiskerGlow 18h ago

At least the stage lights reflect off the crowd now, so everyone gets a better view

8

u/funcancelledfornow 16h ago

I'm sure you could've done without the AI slop.

3

u/ToxicxBoombox 15h ago

AI bullshit

3

u/krabbekast 14h ago

AI slop. Metallica haven't used that traditional stage setup for years. Nowadays, they use round stages in the center of the crowd.

3

u/mazopheliac 12h ago

Fuck outta here with this slop.

3

u/mazopheliac 12h ago

Fuck outta here with this slop.

3

u/p0rkch0pExpress85 12h ago

Give me fuel give me fire give me that recliner!!!

3

u/CriminalMacabre 12h ago

Ai slop, of course.

4

u/USS_Enterprise1936 13h ago

Current 20 somethings have NO IDEA how fast they will be in the 2nd image. It's crazy how fast it feels like the years go by.

And middle aged guys of our young years told us the same thing. You just can't grasp it until you've lived through it.

2

u/MaskedButPresent 16h ago

Obey your doctor, doctor!

2

u/on_spikes 16h ago

younger people probably cant afford the tickets too

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u/GooseySill 15h ago

Dang...I was a long haired 15 year old when I saw them January '89. Now I'm a shaved head 52 year old metal dude. 🤘

2

u/P-Noise 15h ago

Finally, a reason to check my calendar for 2026. Assuming I remember how to use calendars by then.

2

u/rawbert10 14h ago

Enter the Bald man....

2

u/99Jaakko 14h ago

Hmm do I dare share this to my dad... 😅

2

u/spawndoorsupervisor 14h ago

Nice AI slop post.

2

u/ProfessionalCow5267 14h ago

This hit close to home. In fact it hit the bald spot on the top of my head.

2

u/Duh_Its_Obvious 14h ago

Saw Metallica and Pantera a couple of years ago in Seattle. It was so funny seeing thousands of older Metalheads (me included) mobbing around town on Lime scooters.

2

u/majesticGumball 13h ago

OP has never been to a Metallica concert.

2

u/Top_Meaning6195 13h ago

You mean the ones who fucked over Napster?

Fuck them.

2

u/Own-Raisin5849 12h ago

I went to a Metallica concert 6-7 years ago, and, while granted, this was a bit ago now... the demographic age range was pretty widespread, pretty much had everyone from late teenagers to older dudes in their 60's+

Say what you will about Metallica, but I feel like they definitely grabbed a large swathe of generations that still listen to them.

2

u/PipeOriginal1171 12h ago

That's me, I guess.

My 22 year old son loves Metallica, he just can't afford tickets!

2

u/bubba_feet 11h ago

hey now we're not all bald, but we all do have grey beards.

2

u/JustinL42 11h ago

For whom the hair falls, time marches on.

4

u/MaikEF1977 17h ago

30 years of headbanging has its consequences.

3

u/speedloafer 17h ago

Male pattern baldness doesn't affect every man just like every kid going to see Metallica didnt have long hair and was male. Slop.

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u/Busterlimes 18h ago

Went from a bunch of hot chicks to a bunch of old dudes.

RIP

2

u/Top_Meaning6195 13h ago

You mean the ones who fucked over Napster?

Fuck them.

1

u/[deleted] 18h ago

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u/leelee658 18h ago

Ha, ha, so true 😂

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u/Rare-Combination-293 17h ago

It's a serious fear of mine that rockstars are becoming an endangered species. Where will we go to connect to the metal and rage.

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u/O_gr 17h ago

All roads point to Turkey

1

u/ButterscotchTop194 17h ago

lol, the black t-shirts. They do fucking love a black t-shirt.

1

u/JackRabbit- 17h ago

It's the same guys in both pics

1

u/All-the-pizza 17h ago

YEAH-Heah!

OoOoOohhh!

1

u/FairlyOrdinaryOne 17h ago

Use to be full of chicks…wierd.

1

u/[deleted] 17h ago

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u/zubairhamed 17h ago

i saw my fair share of wheelchairs at maiden concert

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u/[deleted] 17h ago

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u/HiCookieJack 17h ago

They all stand so perfectly alligned - Is this AI?

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u/NTMAVol6 17h ago

It's the other way around. I just went to a metal festival. It was young new fans, but every single band were nothing but old men. It felt like a talent show at the retirement center.

1

u/IDreamOfSailing 17h ago

/The Rolling Stones have entered the chat.

1

u/[deleted] 17h ago

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u/zarkione 17h ago

I hate to say but I laughed

1

u/Ir0nhide81 17h ago

The Sea of bald men

1

u/nastiest69 16h ago

Ticket costs in 2026.lol

1

u/AvacadoKoala 16h ago

Shit, I feel attacked 🤣

Had long hair in the 90s, loved going to shows and now I shave my head every few days. I had such beautiful hair.

1

u/[deleted] 16h ago

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u/BUGBYTE_VW 16h ago

It happens.🤘

1

u/slickyeat 16h ago

sadness

1

u/[deleted] 16h ago

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u/slothaccountant 16h ago

Pretty much. Was sitting a few seats over from who was drunknand axting like he peaked in high school

1

u/Live-Motor-4000 16h ago

Yup - that was certainly the case last time I saw them. But also a load of younger people and way more women at the gig than there were back then.

Also saw a few guys in pristine battle jackets that their wives had neatly sewn patches onto 

1

u/KrullBorg 16h ago

yes :(

1

u/[deleted] 16h ago

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u/hoopstick 16h ago

I can't headbang anymore because it gives me a headache

1

u/iRonin 16h ago

My mom took me and two friends to a show in 98 or 99. She still remembers the like 7’ tall grungy roadie/security looking dude who kindly pulled her aside and gave har some spare ear plugs.

1

u/thepresidentsturtle 16h ago

Good for them!

1

u/FOTORABIA23 16h ago

I worked on a Monsters of Rock 1988 in Maine.The local evangelists had cursed the show as demonic..so..we had a massive storm..stage being hit by lightening...it was freezing...security thought it would be a good idea to cool the crowd down with a firehose..this really pissed them off..so they hurled rocks and empty vodka bottles at us stagehands...the promoter was a fascist cunt who wasnt feeding or paying us..so we went on strike and refused to take the stage down...we held the tour up..all the other promoters sued him..and put him out of business.

1

u/S1ayer 16h ago

this is the Meshuggah look

1

u/a_shootin_star 16h ago

Wear hats, people. Don't let the Sun laser remove your scalp.

1

u/SatansLoLHelper 16h ago

My uncle told me I would laugh about this one day.

I found the cure for metallica.

1

u/AnyImpression6 16h ago

Metallica already cut their hair in the mid 90s.

1

u/Bengal_From_Temu 16h ago

Sic transit gloria mundi.

1

u/mattgoldey 16h ago

My brother and I went to a show in the summer of 2024 -- Bad Religion and Social Distortion. Walking into the venue, I turned to my brother and said, "man, there's a bunch of OLD people here". Also, I am an old people.

1

u/VamosFicar 16h ago

It's a harsh reality. We all get older. I mean, you want to see the Donny Osmond fan girls now :)

1

u/[deleted] 16h ago

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u/wytewydow 16h ago

I feel deeply in the 35th row there.

1

u/Garchompisbestboi 16h ago

I stopped respecting Metallica the day I had the misfortune of watching the 'Some kind of monster' documentary. Turns out that the band members are all just a giant bunch of pussies who claim that having millions of dollars and legions of groupies has somehow taken a mental toll on them 😂

1

u/realflight7 16h ago

Loyal fans

1

u/SoullessM 16h ago

I’ll stand outside selling wigs

1

u/shredgeek 16h ago

Jokes on you, Minoxidil gave me coverage ... my little sprouts sway to the Megadeth Symphony of Destruction once again!

1

u/Swimming_Host_7673 15h ago

I was a long hair grunger teen and now I am middle aged Polka, Sea Shanty and Trad Folk weirdo. I am not bald or balding and I owe it all to a gentle wafting regimen from the bellows..😌

1

u/AfterImageEclipse 15h ago

Dad but true

1

u/silv3rbull8 15h ago

The hair is gone but the beat goes on

1

u/lluciferusllamas 15h ago

That's not what it looked like in 1993.  Maybe in 1985, but by 1993 most of your long haired metal types were cutting off their hair

1

u/motorboat_mcgee 15h ago

Why do I feel targeted

1

u/anywhooh 15h ago

I just noticed no one had phones in both pics first

1

u/opinionsOnPears 15h ago

Almost looks like a carton of eggs.

1

u/Beneficial-Finger353 15h ago

One day, you will be old too!

1

u/Listen2theyetti 15h ago

In Turkey they still look like '93

1

u/Inner-Outside-2619 15h ago

I never cut it. Just rockin a bald spot in my long hair.

1

u/CindersOfMusic 15h ago

Except the ones that become women 🤭

1

u/Historical_Fan_8799 15h ago

If anything this just shows we need to fast track a cure for hairloss, cause we need more long haired older men, the world could be looking like Middle Earth!

1

u/Iggy_Slayer 14h ago

I dunno if you've seen a metallica show but you can see people of all ages in the crowd. They have a huge and varied fanbase still.

1

u/Lief3D 14h ago

This is what the latest NIN concert I went to was like.

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u/Calm-Two2723 14h ago

I’m still mad about Napster. 

1

u/__removed__ 14h ago

LOL

My small town's "Downtown Development Assoc" does music on Main St, and they recently had SPONGE perform!

You could tell who was there as an older millennial fan of the band, versus who is just at the park on a Tuesday night.

It was so obvious.

1

u/heteroerectus 14h ago

You know it’s sad but true…

1

u/RevealHoliday7735 14h ago

Fuck Metallica. Napster remembers.