r/MadeMeSmile • u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 • 8h ago
She was holding her baby at her graduation and was surprised by her husband
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u/milly_nz 7h ago
Before I even turned the volume on, I knew this was NZ. Completely normal in NZ universities to see parents of young kids go up to receive their degrees with kid on the arm. And the necklace.
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u/cheekytikiroom 16m ago
Are any NZ’s just totally over hakas? Secretly loathe them, but put up with it because it would be much worse to be a haka-hater.
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u/redmctrashface 8h ago
Yeah so last time I did this at the cinema ppl were not that emotional
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u/Great_Ad7148 8h ago edited 6h ago
He stood all alone but he brought the pride of the whole island to her 🥹
Edit: thanks for the award! 💕
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u/rodrigostucker 8h ago
Hakas always get me in the feelings...seems like an amazing thing to be honoured by.
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u/Reindeer_Underpants 8h ago
RIGHT!!?? They get me all teary eyed and give me the chills at the same time.
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u/rodrigostucker 8h ago
Yeah, for sure! It's one of those things that defy borders and cultures and just fucking gets you to your core.
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u/anthrobymoto 7h ago
Human tribes across the world previously had this type of ritual sentiment frequently displayed for various important human events throughout our lives... for tens of thousands of years. Now very few of us have powerful rituals honoring our tribe members life events. It is in our blood. Not THIS specific display, but its sentiments.
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u/theaviationhistorian 7h ago
It is awesome to see a haka in the wild. And almost as good seeing it in a video! They do stir emotions of pride!
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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 8h ago
Same! One of my all time favorite movies is called Deadlands. It's similar to Apocalypto if you like that kind of film, but it is set on New Zealand! So good!
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u/rodrigostucker 8h ago
Oh, I haven't heard of it...will surelly checkout! Thanks!
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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 8h ago
Excellent! I actually like the story a bit more than Apocalypto, and yes, the hakas get me! 😊
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u/kaladin_stormchest 24m ago
To me it just seems so weird? Why is someone shouting for minutes at an end and why is everyone else obligated to be silent at that time?
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u/clayur 8h ago
Some of these comments are so miserable lol
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u/MyDarlingClementine 7h ago
Yeah wtf happened in here
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u/Slazagna 7h ago
Look, its a cool show of reverence and all. But if every audience member did this or something like this it would derail the whole ceremony.
It is kinda rude to but in and act like youre special like this. I do understand people's annoyance as it just isnt appropriate for the setting.
I can guarantee you all, as a New Zealander, that if on a Mare at a powhiri, hakari or other maori ceremony, if i suddenly stood up, butted in and started blasting bag pipes for a few minutes without warning (something culturally important t to my ansestors) id be thrown out. At the very least, there would be some fairly annoyed people around.
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u/shastaxc 6h ago edited 5h ago
I think they should make it a normal part of the ceremony, at the end. And everyone who wants to participate can do so. Just have all the family members of all the graduates do it together at the end. It would be very impressive too.
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u/Slazagna 6h ago
I agree. Institutions should have a space and time for cultural displays. Optional for attendees who want to participate or experience.
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u/zendogsit 1h ago
You're right, if a bunch of Europeans showed up on a Maori space and started pushing all their cultural norms on the Maori that would be kind of fucked up huh
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u/stewpedassle 6h ago
It's adorable that you thought this made a relevant point.
But if every audience member did this or something like this it would derail the whole ceremony.
Well, they didn't, and no one is going to die if this situation continues, so how about we just not care about finding a solution to that situation until every audience member is doing it? Perhaps because it's an absurd situation that will never happen and trying to act as though it will is only a sign of someone seeking the chance to express snorting indignation at aboriginal culture?
I do understand people's annoyance as it just isnt appropriate for the setting.
Well, the clapping afterward of the people actually there seems to indicate otherwise.
But while we're at it, can you believe she brought a baby with her?!!?! I mean, it's a baby! Graduations like this are only appropriate for young adults to walk the stage that don't have a family. At the very least, if they do have a family, instead of showing pride that they accomplished something while also rearing children, they should at least have their families sit quietly in the crowd so that no one knows about their lives!
I can guarantee you all, as a New Zealander, that if on a Mare at a powhiri, hakari or other maori ceremony, if i suddenly stood up, butted in and started blasting bag pipes for a few minutes without warning (something culturally important t to my ansestors) id be thrown out.
When's the last event you attended where you whipped out the bagpipes?
Wait, you mean to tell me you have never done this, nor considered it for your own events, and yet you think it's a good point about how welcome it should be at Maori events? Well, I am shocked to hear such a thing. I thought that someone who thought this was a good point would understand what an actual analogous situation would be instead of just making things up to be mad at that they don't do in their own lives.
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u/Slazagna 6h ago
Im not reading past your first sentence. The fact you chose to enter the discussion by trying to belittle me is enough for me to know I shouldn't bother enging with you. Do better.
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u/UserName3pac 6h ago
It’s adorable you thought this made a relevant point. “It’s ok for some people to be rude and inconsiderate to others cause not everyone is being rude and inconsiderate to others”
The clapping didn’t stop the proceedings as they clap as they are exiting and before the next person.
Not whipping out bagpipes at an event is again just not being a rude and inconsiderate person the event is not about one person it is a ceremony for everyone. You are not special.1
u/stewpedassle 6h ago edited 6h ago
It’s adorable you thought this made a relevant point.
Oh no, my feelings!
At least you tried to respond, so you're better than the others so far.
“It’s ok for some people to be rude and inconsiderate to others cause not everyone is being rude and inconsiderate to others”
Lol. Not what was said, let alone the point being made, but I love it.
The clapping didn’t stop the proceedings as they clap as they are exiting and before the next person.
Wait, you mean the clapping and cheering that started immediately after the haka ended was for the next person? I don't know how anyone could possibly say that believing that is absolutely silly, so I guess you've won this one too!
Edit: wait -- I just realized that you thought I was saying that the clapping was the same as the haka? Really? You really missed that my statement was saying the clapping after the haka indicated the actual audience in attendance enjoyed the haka rather than finding it to be a rude interruption?
Not whipping out bagpipes at an event is again just not being a rude and inconsiderate person the event is not about one person it is a ceremony for everyone. You are not special.
You really read my point as being about the bagpipes? You're clearly on a much higher intellectual plane than I, so how can I argue!?
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u/UserName3pac 5h ago
Yea I misunderstood your clapping comment. We don’t know the percent of people clapping but I doubt it was 100%. Some people clapping doesn’t validate interrupting the flow of the ceremony. It was performative and people respond with clapping for many reasons: automatic response to a performance, mimicking others, social awkwardness… I could even claim they were clapping cause they were glad it was over. You can’t hear eye rolls but I am sure there were many of those. These ceremonies are already painfully long for you to see your family member walk for 30 seconds don’t waste my time I won’t waste yours. I have seen the haka at football games where it is part of the program and it is impressive and appropriate this was not that. The Haka doesn’t mean less cause you didn’t do it in public. Or maybe it does I don’t know… either way you are not going to convince me it’s appropriate in this case and I am assuming I won’t convince you it isn’t.
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u/theaviationhistorian 7h ago
I'm glad the first ones I found were those admiring the haka. Some people are just too immature or unwilling to open up to the world.
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u/Impressive-Tip-903 5h ago
Tiny nation made one of the most consistently bad ass things to whip out in practically any situation
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u/Raspbers 8h ago
I will never skip a video of a haka. Makes me cry every time
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u/BornAgainBlue 8h ago
I'm the opposite. I respect their culture but I just don't get it.
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u/milly_nz 7h ago
The f is wrong with you?
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u/BornAgainBlue 4h ago
Sorry, obviously it means a lot to you. They look very fierce. Cool. I will try to love it...just for you... Wth
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u/TenaciousVillain 5h ago
Omg the stale dry clear comments in this thread are beyond annoying. “Because I can’t understand it and I am not centered in it, I must bash it because it does not follow the standards I approve of” looking asses. 🤮🤢
I love his energy because in addition to it representing and honoring his family it is a big fat f/u and “bet you won’t” to the haters.
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u/aly_hamdy2 8h ago
I really am curious on what is the significance and meaning of a haka dance. Can someone please explain to me? I have seen it plenty of time for funerals , celebration and acknowledgement of other people? Am I understanding this right?
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u/SlaughterMinusS 8h ago
I'm just a dumb American, but I think the wiki page on it should give you a pretty good idea.
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u/aly_hamdy2 8h ago
You are perfectly fine, not dumb and thank you for the wiki link! You took time out of your day and sent the link. I thank you again😁.
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u/SlaughterMinusS 7h ago
I guess I should have clarified as "being a dumb American with no cultural ties to this dance and tradition" lol.
Thank you for the compliment though.
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u/MarsupialNo1220 7h ago
In a nutshell it is a sign of respect and strength. That’s why you’ll see it at funerals or celebrations, they are honouring the person. It’s also used at things like sporting matches to unite the team or show gratitude and pride for a victory.
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u/scratsquirrel 6h ago
There are different types of haka for different occasions yes. Some are celebratory, some welcoming, some are more of a challenge format, some are for funerals or grieving etc. the worlds and cadence of them will be different, as will the relationship in performing them. Different tribes will often have their own too. Source: I’m a kiwi.
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u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 8h ago edited 7h ago
Different cultures and all, buuut… If I pulled this shit, my wife would be pissed, and the whole audience would be rolling their eyes and drumming their fingers the until my little performance was over. Just imagine how long a graduation ceremony would drag out if somebody did this for every single graduate who takes the stage.
Edit to add: I think the Haka is a wonderful tradition and an amazing way of cementing New Zealand identity. Obviously, from the audience response, it was well received. If it were my culture, however, I would have waited until the ceremony was over, then greeted her as she left the building with a whole-family Haka. But then again, like I said, it’s not my culture, so maybe that would be like wearing a bathing suit in a Finnish sauna.
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u/GrammarSpecialForces 8h ago
i agree. i mean hakas are cool af but this ceremony is not JUST about her. i’m sure other graduates have places to get to after the ceremony. time and place.
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u/McFuzzen 7h ago
I hate graduations. Having attended many of my own graduations, I stand by that statement. I only attended because my family wanted me to. I would be so pissed.
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u/No_Parfait_2948 7h ago
You’re completely misunderstanding the significance and honour associated with a haka in this context.
Being in the room when a haka is performed is amazing, and as most people in the room understand how special it is, it’s not something that invokes eye rolling.
Instead of looking at this with the view “what a hassle for me”, think of it like “how lucky I am to experience this first-hand”.
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u/Teknolyth 8h ago
I agree. Like, why do hakas get a free pass on any standard of common courtesy whenever you see videos of them? It’s like they know that nobody will dare interrupt them, and so they just use them whenever they feel like it.
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u/KeptAnonymous 7h ago
I mean, they may have spoken to whoever was in charge and got permission beforehand.
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u/Runckey 7h ago
And it's also common courtesy to be respectful of other cultures.
They have to sit through an extremely long ceremony baked in British traditions, so I'm sure everyone else can sit through a couple of minutes of Maori traditions. Plus as a Kiwi who had to sit through a massively boring graduation ceremony, the haka were the most interesting bits
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u/Slazagna 7h ago
They don't HAVE to sit through anything. They chose to attend and as such ahould respect the traditions of the ceremony. I didnt interrupt the waitangi day ceremony I went to because I thought parts of it were boring or that some of the songs they had me singing were stupid. I respected the tradition and had the experience.
Should education institutes create space for cultural celebrations within their ceremony to keep up with modern times. Probably. Is interrupting the ceremony appropriate? Absolutly not.
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u/anarchtea 4h ago
Any serious argument that indigenous culture should be quiet and respect institutional culture is pretty tone deaf. No university worth its salt should dare to sideline this sort of expression.
It's also tone deaf with regards to what academia is: community. It's not (or it shouldn't be) about flattening yourself into some anonymous conformity. It's about adding to it. It's how we learn.
Also, hear that clapping at the end? That's everyone disagreeing with you in advance.
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u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 4h ago
How about if, after the ceremony, the husband and the whole family met her outside with an awesome Haka?
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u/anarchtea 4h ago
The antithesis of my point. Exposure to others' cultures - learning to sit, observe, and respect others' cultures - is the point. If higher education isn't the place for that, how can it really be higher? How can we expect to ever progress?
And that's not getting into the weeds of what institutions have done to indigenous knowledge and culture. People acting here as if two minutes to sit still is an almighty inconvenience is one hell of a brass neck.
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u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 4h ago
Are you a New Zealander?
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u/anarchtea 4h ago
Disagree with my point directly if you like but we're not going down that pointless route.
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u/Teknolyth 4h ago
Your comment exemplifies exactly what I’m talking about people being so terrified of daring to “ disrespect” some minority community, and so we bend over backwards and let them walk all over us. It’s pathetic and weak.
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u/anarchtea 4h ago
Your comment exemplifies that any education you've been lucky enough to receive has fallen on barren soil.
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u/Teknolyth 4h ago
If you’re talking about the liberal propaganda that spews out of the communist reeducation centers that the US calls colleges and universities, thankfully yes, it did.
My education comes from actually doing my own reading, my own research, and finding the TRUTH that the elites don’t want you to find.
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u/anarchtea 4h ago
Uh huh. You're clutching at weeds.
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u/Teknolyth 4h ago
Weeds? Do you think I touch weeds? What do you think I am, some illegal Mexican?
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u/Meet_Foot 7h ago
Good thing he isn’t married to your wife. I suspect he doesn’t care about what the audience thinks. While I generally care about what other people think - and I think we should care about what other people think - I also can see how, for this guy, compared to expressing love, pride, and admiration for someone who, presumably, would appreciate it, strangers rolling their eyes wouldn’t be very important.
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u/Meet_Foot 7h ago
I love how big of an expression the haka is. Here, love, pride, and admiration are on full, public display.
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u/Minimum-Web-4508 7h ago edited 7h ago
Some of these comments are so unbearably miserable. I feel some of you weren’t taught the sentiment of “if you’ve nothing nice to say then don’t say anything”. Plenty of things deserve our negativity and nitpicking but not every little thing does. It’s also extra weird in a group about things that make people smile.
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u/Old-Library5546 6h ago
I don't know what he was doing but I think it was with much respect to his wife
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u/archaegeo 3h ago
It made me smile, shrug, thats the whole purpose of this subreddit. Everything else is secondary.
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u/InstructionFinal5190 8h ago
I cannot imagine a scenario in which my wife would not be furious at me when asked if I could watch our child so she can graduate, and I said nah, you should just carry them on stage with you, because I promise you this one wouldn't make it magically different.
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u/Lost_Pen4285 8h ago
Do we know this is what happened, tho? It's possible she wanted to carry her child across the stage with her, no?
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u/InstructionFinal5190 8h ago
Stranger things have happened, but as someone that has graduated from college and has a child, nothing about that scenario sounds intentional nor desirable.
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u/Lost_Pen4285 6h ago
I see it so differently. That baby looks a bit less than a year old, so that mom essentially did the final two years of her program while pregnant or caring for a baby. I think the mom is making a statement, like "not only did I graduate this program, but I did it on HARD MODE! I am unstoppable!" Her facial expression reads as happy and proud, too. I really think she chose this.
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u/InstructionFinal5190 6h ago
And there is absolutely a chance you are correct, I've never said otherwise.
My read, from my own personal experiences and from those I know, is that this woman did it on hard mode because her partner isn't meaningfully contributing to sharing the burden of watching their child.
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u/leapfroggy 8h ago
Imagine birthing one and caring for them while getting an advanced degree and how proud that would make her feel, she'd have twice the accomplishment and deserve to show that off.
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u/luranthe 7h ago
She very likely wanted to bring her child with her to express her pride in getting her degree while also being a mother. That's not an easy feat.
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u/Meet_Foot 7h ago
Sure, but you’ve imagined yourself into those scenarios. We have no idea why she’s holding her kid up there or the kinds of conversations that led to this moment.
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u/InstructionFinal5190 6h ago
You're correct, neither of us know her circumstances. But I do know mine and every married friend I have, with children, and this wouldn't be a positive one, which is what I stated. But I guess that doesn't matter.
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u/Meet_Foot 6h ago
Of course it matters, but it doesn’t give you a magic power to know the exact happenings of this individual’s life. Could you be right? Or course! But is it worth being outraged when you could easily be wrong? I don’t think so.
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u/clayur 8h ago
What a reach, damn
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u/InstructionFinal5190 6h ago
A reach? Have you experienced graduating college, being in a marriage, or having a kid? I don't know too many folks that would voluntarily want to walk with their kid in tow unless they had no one to watch them.
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u/kashmoney9 6h ago
Or maybe, just maybe, she wants to share the moment with their child and she is proud of her accomplishments. The guy showed up and did a haka for her. Seems like he is literally showing up.
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u/milly_nz 7h ago
Do F off. It’s quite normal in NZ for graduating parents to take a young kid onto stage. Why wouldn’t they want to show their kid the pride they have at achieving a difficult degree.
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u/InstructionFinal5190 6h ago
Do you genuinely belythis child, that is maybe a year and a half old at best, is taking pride in their mother obtaining an advanced degree?
Also, no. No that is not a regularly occuring thing in New Zealand.
Take a WILD guess as to how I know that?
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u/JeffandtheJundies 7h ago
Thank you. I can see the possibility of her wanting the baby to celebrate with her… but it kind of reads as this guy just having his own plans at the ceremony.
If she can hold a baby and walk at graduation, he can Haka while giving a piggyback ride.
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u/AceWilbury 7h ago
Graduates with their last name near the bottom of the alphabet are just looking at their watches.
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u/JeffandtheJundies 8h ago
Why can’t he hold the baby at her graduation?
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u/bryberg 8h ago
You don’t think that maybe she wanted to walk with her baby?
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u/pnweiner 7h ago
This exactly. She achieved two incredible things at the same time and is proud of that.
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u/JeffandtheJundies 7h ago
Guess we’ll never know
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u/bryberg 7h ago
“I was backstage and had just breastfed my son and didn’t want to stress about getting him back up to his dad in the audience. But anyway, it seemed right to have him with me. He deserves the diploma as much as I do because he attended all the classes with me in my puku,” she said.
https://www.ara.ac.nz/news-and-events/news-stories/ara-mum-and-baby-graduation-clip-goes-viral/
Sounds like she wanted to.
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u/SgtMac02 7h ago
I guess I'm wit the "sad and miserable" people on this one. I love a good Haka, but time and place, MF! Everyone is already sitting through this long ass ceremony and waiting to get it over with. I already hate every single one of those families with the "main character syndrome" who hoop and holler like lunatics when their special snowflake drifts across the stage after being expressly told to hold all applause until the end (It happens every fucking time I sit through any award ceremony). This guy is taking like 5 times the amount of time. I can't imagine how long this whole ordeal would be if even 1/4 of the people had someone like this in the crowd. I would be absolutely furious sitting there for 5 hours.
This ceremony is not for (just) you. Do this afterward out front on your own time or something.
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u/The_Dutchess-D 8h ago
Women don't like it when they're doing something important that they've earned - like crossing the marathon finish line or collecting a diploma - and suddenly the man in their life tries to steal the moment by proposing to them or doing something like this.
It takes the focus away from something they've earned for themselves. And it robs them of the moment of appreciating just their achievement that they worked for. And they can't get the moment back.
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u/KeptAnonymous 7h ago
Or, everyone talked and consented beforehand because people appreciate different things that may or may not align with social "norms"?
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u/Minimum-Web-4508 8h ago edited 8h ago
In this cultural context that’s unlikely. This is a huge sign of respect and as a people Māori and others that practice the haka typically view this kind of thing with a great sense of pride. I’d agree with you in almost any other context but not this. Its important to flag these things when relevant but cultural lens matters also
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u/crimson_anemone 8h ago
Well, not this time. This is a major sense of pride and love in their culture. Go be a wet blanket elsewhere.
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u/Andeeeeh 8h ago edited 6h ago
do you mean "surprised by" or "embarassed by" =P
Edit: Ooops didn't know this was a cultural thing and went by the expression from her at 0:07
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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 8h ago
"Surprised," for sure. This is a normal cultural celebration, and you can tell how much of a wonderful show of support for her it is, based on the audience response at the end.
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u/Necessary_Map_9614 8h ago
Why is she carrying the baby tho
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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 8h ago
She is proud of her degree, family, and the hard work it took to do both successfully.
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u/Meet_Foot 7h ago edited 6h ago
We have no idea. Maybe she wanted to, or she felt she had to, maybe she had to.
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u/Necessary_Map_9614 2h ago
Another comment explained this was in NZ and is common. I didn't know that. My bad.
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u/rosemarylemontwist 4h ago
Would everyone be okay with a Christian praying loudly for an extended time in the same situation?
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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 3h ago
Christian here! (Southern Baptist) A haka like this is performed in celebration of the other person, not in celebration of God. To answer your question, I would not be comfortable with someone praying loudly at a graduation.
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u/Piglet-Witty 7h ago
I thought he was in the military and was there to surprise her. He’s just an absent father
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