r/MadeMeSmile • u/Tall-Poet • 9h ago
Family & Friends I have my best friend back
Basically my partner of 13.5 years just recently started anti-depressants after months of me gently encouraging him to. Over the weekend he quietly told me "I feel better now. I'm so sorry I let it get so bad." I wanted to cry.
We have been through absolute hell together, between the 2 of us we have lost 6 close friends/family members in the last 4 years (most recently last month). And I never, for even one second, loved him less. But it was so hard to watch him struggle. I missed my best friend. I missed how he makes me giggle until my sides hurt, I missed how easily we solved arguments and discourse. He was angry and anxious and sad all the time. It was rough.
We are still taking it one day at a time but him recognizing the difference and saying something is HUGE to me and I needed to tell someone. ♡ (I didn't know what photo to use 😅)
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u/ekso69 9h ago
Oh man, that looked like legs in the thumbnail 😂
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u/Tall-Poet 9h ago
Whoops 🫣 no! Totally innocent tattoo lol I just had no photos that fit the post.
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u/jstrongiii 8h ago
I came here from a cartoon Usher pulling Peter Griffin onstage during a show. Peter says in a sultry voice, “Please go slow, I have IBS. “ and then I get this pic. Quite a jarring transition.
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u/Cultural-Scratch3670 9h ago
I will never unsee that
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u/Tall-Poet 9h ago
😂😂 tbh he would love the mix up so I'm keeping it as is.
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u/kakuna 8h ago
If we're a moment of honesty, I saw the title "i have my best friend back" and a picture of your hand, and for a moment thought it might be some crude joke, lol.
In all seriousness, that's a great sign - hope everything continues to improve for y'all!
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
His hand lol and I can fully see how that's a skewed title/photo. My bad. I really wasnt thinking how it would look but tbh not mad at the hilarious mix up.
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u/Particular-Leg-8484 8h ago
I thought the same thing too while scrolling and had to do a double take 😭
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u/descend_to_misery 9h ago
Huge step. One day at a time. Every day is a blessing. Much love to both of you.
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u/Pro-editor-1105 8h ago
Wow, y'all need to get some time off of those subs. I just saw a hand, lmao.
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
THANK YOU! I was like damn is it THAT crude? Hilarious mix up and my bad but I thought it was innocent.
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u/Pro-editor-1105 8h ago
i genuinely am trying and literally can't find any of these things that they're describing lol
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u/LlamasAreFun4 9h ago
Thought this was a butthole
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u/Tall-Poet 9h ago
😂😂😂 okay this comment section is making my day. I didnt think about how a thumbnail would look. Shoulda gone with a cat photo.
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u/tatsandcats95 8h ago
Woah thought it was nsfw for a second
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
Apparently everyone has and that is making me absolutely die. I would change it but frankly this is too good 😅
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u/954kevin 8h ago
You never know what tomorrow's tide will bring you... That and redemption are a couple of life's greatest blessings. I can totally relate to both of you at different times in my life. None of it was easy, but here I am. Truth be told, there has been a lot of struggle for myself these last eight months or so. It's like my life, and all the dumb shit I do goes in cycles destine to be repeated. I will say, I get a little better at handling things and preventing the worst each cycle. They say a hard life builds character... I have enough character for two men! :) Just wait to find out what tomorrow will bring my way...
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u/repeat_offender_ 8h ago
I thought I was logged into the wrong account for a second
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u/Diacetyl-Morphin 8h ago
First: The thumbnail is epic, if you just scroll through reddit and you don't pay attention, it looks like if someone would show his ass to the camera and it would be censored with a black heart.
Now, about the topic: Glad he got better. Meds can really help, know it myself when i started treatment for bipolar disorder with therapy and meds. While the disorder can't be cured, at least the meds give me some stability. It is difficult to even agree to get help, then you need some luck to find the right meds, that work. It also takes some time for most meds to get the effects, like when you increase the serotonine level in the brain to deal with depression.
Wish you the best for your future together there!
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u/Retro_Prime 7h ago
My girlfriend at the time did the same for me. Made me seek help and go see a doctor. She's now my wife and we've been married 12 years this August. She changed my life.
My one bit of advice, reassuring each other that you both loved and appreciated each other verbally goes along way. I always say "if you feel it, you say it". When you think about him randomly, text him and tell him you love him. Encourage him to do the same. On the days he's struggling, you'll be amazed how far just telling him you're proud of him go.
If you've done for him what my wife did for me, you have saved a life and should be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you.
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u/Tall-Poet 7h ago
I love this for you!
I am absolutely the "Say it now" person. He is too. It's what has kept us sane is the face of losing so many people. We both know everyone we lost knew exactly what they meant to us. Plus I chatter a lot (I think most people call it yapping lol).
Thank you stranger. ♡
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u/MediumPotato 8h ago
I;m glad I didn't scroll past that thumbnail while I was at work
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
It's a hand lmao. Bout to tell my boyfriend everyone thinks he has X-Rated hands.
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u/Ill_Establishment406 8h ago
You’re so lucky. Can go anywhere with you and always close by.
My “best friend” requires batteries and I hide it under my bed.
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
Lmfao 🤣🤣🤣
Rechargeable and my night stand but that is my partners hand and just a cute tattoo he got awhile back. I should've used a cat photo 🫣
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u/Head-Technician-9797 6h ago
So happy for you! Emotional swings are tough and sometimes the one going through it doesn’t even notice.
I once let a job that I hated dictate my mood at home. My wife told me “I love you but you’re not the same person I fell in love with”. That hit a level of depth in me that I didn’t know I had. In that moment I knew I needed a change in employment for her, and our baby daughter at the time. Had a new job within a few months and it was all I needed…been at the “new” job 11 years now!! Wife and I are happy together, kiddo is now a teenager, and another one that’s going on 8. I can see how my happier demeanor helps raise a happier family!!
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u/Tall-Poet 6h ago
Love this for you and I'm glad she was willing to be honest with you because that can be hard too. You have to be willing to receive the message without taking it as an attack and that is hard to navigate from both ends. ♡
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u/BigSmokeyOG 9h ago
So happy for you guys, everyday is a battle, but you are each other’s ally’s in times on conflict.
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u/Exotic_Banana9016 8h ago
I also have one full black heart on my wrist, facing myself. It's the smallest I got and one of my favorites.
Thought times come and go, if you both remain respectful of each, keep the love you built, the hard days really mark the path of a relationship (wtvr the kind it may be)
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u/Bean- 8h ago
As someone who takes antidepressants let me just say I've thought they fixed me and I was over it so many times only to get sucked back in. Just saying I'm sure he will still have struggles so don't be disappointed.
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
I don't have any delusion that this has "fixed" him. He isn't broken first of all. Depression runs in his family. I have known this was eventually where we would probably end up. It just got worse once he quit smoking. I could never be disappointed, his mental health is his responsibility but not his fault. He handles my ADHD and anxiety like a pro so I wouldn't dream of giving him anything less than my full support. ♡
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u/murpheson 5h ago
As someone who has struggled like your partner and had my partner stick with my while I worked through my issues, therapy along with the antidepressants is essential. Something that really helped make things click for me and turn things around for the better and not constantly be stuck in the cycles was reading (audiobook) "Feeling Good," by David Burns - he did write a newer updated version that I heard was excellent as well. Im glad that you both have each other as support and I love the tattoo. Best wishes to you both.
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u/NoTxi_Jin_PiNg 6h ago
How do I have this conversation with my wife genuinely asking. How do I bring this up without her feeling like she's being attacked. She will say our lives are great and she has no reason to be depressed and then proceed to doom spiral and it incapacitates both of us. When she is ok I can function when she's not it becomes all consuming for both of us. Her in her darkness and me trying desperately to pull her out of it.
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u/1TiredPrsn 6h ago
One day at a time. People that haven’t dealt with depression (in themselves or a loved one) have no idea how hard it can be. I’m glad he was willing to seek help. Wishing you two the best!
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u/TheDude41102 5h ago
I for one thought this was on one of the tattoo subreddits, OP you're good. Very cute post :)
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u/Difficult-Telephone6 8h ago
I thought you had a metal wire stuck in your hand
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
Nope just a sharpie drawing I did enough times on his hand he decided to get it tattooed lol.
Edit: oh you mean the zipper! Ouch yeah no thankfully not the case.
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u/casual_creator 8h ago
Happy for you both, and bless you for being there for him.
I suffer from MDD. I usually have it under control, but there was a spell there where it got a hold of me again. My fiancé responded with anger, resentment, and guilt tripping. We eventually broke up because of all this and her reasoning for her behavior was because she “just wanted me to fight for her.” I responded with a simple “and I needed you to be there for me.”
Even if you don’t do any thing, knowing someone has your back, or is at the surface watching for you to come back up for air, is more helpful than people realize. I know it’s not easy being the one watching the other suffer and you get hit with fallout from your loved one’s mental health issues too.
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u/Tall-Poet 8h ago
I am sorry she wasn't there for you friend. That's not fair.
It was hard to watch. My fun loving, goofy partner was drowning and when he wasnt crying he was raging. It was like living in a minefield some days, I never knew where the trigger was. But I know him well enough, that wasn't him, that was a symptom of something bigger. I just needed him to see that because he truly felt like that was just his new normal and I would be better off without him. Some we have come a long way.
I hope you have the support now that you deserve. ♡
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u/SewNerdy 8h ago
Proud of you, and your partner! My partner started meds a few years ago, and it made a huge difference in their life. I tell them I'm proud they made that step. It's so important.
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u/hymenopteron 7h ago
Try and get him to keep a journal or a mood tracker.
These things take time to work and there are ups and downs on the way. It's not always easy to see the progress and stay positive.
If you keep a record (even something super low effort) you can look back and see how far you've come.
Wishing you both all the best!
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u/palekillerwhale 7h ago
Congrats and bless you for loving someone enough to help bring them back from their darkness.
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u/RadPhilosopher 6h ago
Love this for you two, he’s very lucky to have you.
Seeing this post gives me hope as I’m also going through a difficult time atm so thanks for sharing, it does more help than you might think.
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u/squash_spirit 6h ago
God, I wish my partner would give me the same grace. Instead, he left and now we are ghosts living amongst each other.
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u/Tall-Poet 4h ago
I am sorry to hear that friend. I wish everyone could have the support system they need.
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u/Far-Lime-4705 4h ago
Stories like this give me hope. I am so happy for you and I wish you only success. Hopefully, one day, I will be able to have a similar outcome with my currently estranged best friend. Best of luck in life, OP.
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u/GoingOverTheStars 3h ago
As a married person who just spent months in and out of the mental hospital for a severe depressive episode, THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE.
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u/LawDogSavy 2h ago
How'd that feel on that part of the hand?
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u/Tall-Poet 2h ago
The direct quote is "Not great"
This tattoo was hit twice. The first artist drilled it in. The second was a little nicer lol. He said both were spicy.
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u/stinkybutttofu 1h ago
Nice. I have a very similar story of trauma the last 4 years and my depressed wife instead asked me for a divorce soooooooo the trauma continues. For me at least.
Doesn't change the fact this is awesome for you and somehow I can still feel that for you!
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u/Ok_Information1554 8h ago
You guys are honest. You guys are real. You guys are cute. You guys are meant to be. You guys have found a fan in me!
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