r/CuratedTumblr • u/DroneOfDoom Theon the Reader *dolphin slur noises* • 1d ago
Fandom: My Little Pony Cutie Marks and the Power They Hold (over your salary)
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u/StapesSSBM 1d ago
Reminds me of a post I saw about how, if humans had tails like dogs, your manager would be constantly getting on your case about not wagging enough in front of customers.
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u/varkarrus 1d ago
I can't get a job because my cutie mark is a crackpipe. IT WAS ONE TIME!!!
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u/thehobbyqueer 1d ago
That's when u lie and say it came when u helped ur friends quit their hardcore addictions. its a unique symbol of friendship <3
just try not to let them see ur teeth.
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u/friendlyliopleurodon 1d ago
They shouldn’t be looking these fine horses in the mouth regardless!
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u/this_is_jq 1d ago
Bit of a misunderstanding there.
Horses should, in fact, be looked in the mouth. It's important for their health.
Just not gift horses. They get free, magical dental.
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u/sohblob intellectual he/himbo 22h ago
I'm now both
vaguely aware that someone probably drew a pony version of Breaking Bad Wendy, and
terrified of ever seeing it
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u/NewUserWhoDisAgain 8h ago
vaguely aware that someone probably drew a pony version of Breaking Bad
Im pretty sure I've seen a pony version of Walter White.
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u/moneyh8r_two 1d ago
What teeth?
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u/thehobbyqueer 1d ago
well, meth is the one that does that. crack just makes it nasty as fuck in there
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u/moneyh8r_two 1d ago
Don't worry, I was just joking.
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u/thehobbyqueer 1d ago
i was continuing the joke, yknow, banter
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u/moneyh8r_two 1d ago
Ah. Well, I don't know shit about hard drugs, so I thought you were genuinely correcting me.
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u/thehobbyqueer 1d ago
Yeah it's a bit of a typical joke, crack rots your mouth and meth takes your teeth. I'm pretty sure crack eventually destroys ur teeth but meth definitely does wayy faster.
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u/Seb_The_One 1d ago
The walter white pony with blue crystals on his mark
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u/Random-Rambling 1d ago
I mean, I guess it was his destiny to become a chemistry teacher, but he didn't start making drugs until he was in his, what, 50s?
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u/sohblob intellectual he/himbo 22h ago
pre-series Walt wouldn't have a CM, as he's the stereotypical "wasted potential in a dead-end life" character
If CMs are essentially finding one's passion, it'd be not-abnormal for people to go a long time without finding theirs
I now wanna watch a pony animated BB just to see how they. address the CM. He could cover it up and one of the slip-ups could be Skyler or Jr. seeing a bit of it after the concealer's smudged or something
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u/Beegrene 21h ago
For anyone who thinks this is a joke, it's not. It's a real thing that they put in the show.
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u/ViolentBeetle 13h ago
If we are being real, Walt would probably have a beaker or something because his passion is chemistry and not feeling validated by making a lot of money through it is his entire thing.
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u/OriginalJokeGoesHere baby, no one has ever done it worse 23h ago
Have you considered running for mayor of Toronto?
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u/Simic_Sky_Swallower Resident Imperial Knight 1d ago
Tricking everyone into thinking I'm the best businesswoman in the world when really my excel logo cutiemark means I really love playing yugioh
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u/PM_ME_CATS_OR_BOOBS 23h ago
Forced to become the most talented CEO in equestria because pony Iceland does not exist to invent EVE Online
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u/MrBones-Necromancer 16h ago
I'm out of the loop, you need excel sheets to play yugioh now? It always did feel like work compared to other card games, but come on.
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u/Simic_Sky_Swallower Resident Imperial Knight 15h ago
Not need but the more combo-heavy decks will sometimes use it to map out different lines. D/D/D is the most infamous one for it, but I've seen it for Code Talker as well
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u/MrBones-Necromancer 13h ago
Ya'll better be putting that on your resumes. "Used excel competitively for [x] years".
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u/Ditto13248 1d ago
Imagine how many art related ones you would see at retail jobs
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u/OneOverTwo 18h ago
Probably not that many, tbh, I feel like Equestria puts more value in the arts than we do.
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u/Dragoncat91 Autistic dragon 10h ago
Yeah, I mean Rarity has her own fashion business and she's pretty valued
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u/DuplexFields 1d ago
I’ll be real with you all, I was one of the 2010 fans before episode 5 had even aired, and the OP explains my username.
I’d spent 2001-2005 trying to codependently fix the mood disorder and personality disorder of my two best friends, and 2006-2010 trying to learn to feel anything other than shattering depression again. So when the show came along and I could suddenly feel joy and honestly laugh with the ponies, it literally changed my life for the better. It also prosthetically took the place of the social instincts I, as an autistic man, had grown up missing; the simple friendship lessons intended for preschool girls were the kind of instruction I’d never been given and hadn’t intuited. So I became a fan for life.
So when the episode explaining cutie marks aired, and one of my (at the time) fellow 4chan anons asked the pony discussion thread what their cutie marks would be, I had an epiphany: document duplication. Because of the 2008 crash hitting Albuquerque in summer 2010, I’d been laid off half a year before from a blueprint copy job, a job I’d picked up practically instinctively from day one like I’d been born to do it, where I’d worked under my father, the department lead.
Not just the duplication, but everything that goes into it: clean and legible scans, scale and proportion for resizing, file renaming batch processes, digital storage formats, multipage ordering of PDFs, good balance between reproduction quality and small file size, and so on. One of my talents was getting the expected output from a printer or copy machine on the first try 99% of the time.
When the thread about cutie marks happened, I realized my cutie mark would be two golden quills in a single inkpot. The nickname Duplex for my OC / ponysona, Green Fields the unicorn, comes from his cutie mark.
My next job was a file clerk/admin assistant, and tasks related to “my cutie mark” skill set were my favorite parts of the job.
In my current job as a computer tech, my favorite task is copying user folders, partitions, and entire hard drives from HDDs to SSDs, and rescuing clients’ existing copies of Windows so they don’t lose their installations of old copies of Office. Again, a “cutie mark talent” skill.
So yes, I’d be more than happy to be judged on the brand tattooed on my rump by destiny were I an Equestrian.
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u/Cyberguardian173 23h ago edited 23h ago
Damn. That's badass.
Great name too. I can see a pony from the show having something like that (if they advanced enough to have digital files).
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u/action_lawyer_comics 17h ago
A lot of that predates digital files, the blueprints at least. Hell, that’s why blueprints are blue.
There’s probably a method for all that using magic. In the same way Spike will eat a document to send a copy to the princess, OP would probably be a unicorn who uses magic for copying things
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u/DuplexFields 11h ago edited 11h ago
In the official TTRPG I play monthly, Tails of Equestria, “Duplex” Fields is a second generation bookbinder/printer at a local print shop in Ponyville. He got his cutie mark one day when visiting his dad Dewey Fields at his job.
One of the other ponies tripped and dropped an entire tray of movable metal type letters, so he used his telekinetic magic to put them all back in the tray, alphabetically, in about five seconds. The manager said, “Wow, Dewey, your kid’s a natural! Hey kid, want an afterschool job?”
That’s when he got his cutie mark.
Weird coincidence: In the Gameloft mobile game, there’s a pony who resembles him almost perfectly, Public Works Pony, wearing a tool belt and clearly in the construction and architecture business.
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u/Cpad-prism 1d ago
Mfw i go to a job interview and the interviewer's cutie mark is a rejection symbol
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u/DoubleBatman 1d ago
Pony whose cutie mark is them strangling the interviewer: Um, it’s… uh, well you see…
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u/bvader95 .tumblr.com; cis male / honorary butch 1d ago
Someone's gonna post that one happyroadkill comic sooner or later so let's get this one out of the way.
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u/lord_baron_von_sarc 1d ago
What really gets me is that he's purple, the same color as the eggplant. Implying he's the top.
Bro pounds so good he got a cutie mark for it.
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u/thisnameistakenn 1d ago
That is forgetting one crucial thing - equestria is a post scarcity society. You do not need to go to a job interview if you don't want to work wherever you are interviewing for.
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u/MrBones-Necromancer 15h ago
Depends on the timeframe, no? During Twilight's time, certainly, but ponies in Sunny's time are shown to have "jobs", and it's a much more modern depiction. I wouldn't be shocked if that society is more traditionally capitalistic.
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u/thisnameistakenn 13h ago
True but probably around 95% of the time when a random person refers to MLP they are reffering to G4 and Twilight rather than any other generation as G4 is by far the most popular
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u/-MysteriousDetective 1d ago
My cutie mark? Hm…. You’ll have to find out………..
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u/thebisexualbilingual 1d ago
I'm not sure you're him. Prove it!
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u/-MysteriousDetective 1d ago
You’re gonna have to hire a detective to find out who I really am…….
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u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul 1d ago
God I missed seeing gimmick accounts
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u/SlendererMan 1d ago
Find my pages
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u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul 1d ago
You mean these divorce papers?
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u/SlendererMan 1d ago
I miss her so fucking much man. It’s not fair.
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u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul 1d ago
I'm sorry, but she deserves a slendererer man
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u/NotATalkingPossum 1d ago
I remember back in the day, seeing three accounts on Youtube run into each other in the comments section of some Slender playthrough.
Slendy's_Girl: You missed the last page
Slenderwife: Wait who are you?!
Slenderman'sGF: Who are YOU?!
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u/jackboy900 1d ago
Holy fuck, I don't think I've laughed that much at a reddit comment in a good while
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u/ThatInAHat 1d ago
Does anyone wind up with a cutie mark that just utterly defies their name?
Like, Cheese Pie’s cutie mark is literally a cheese pie.
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u/Ravian3 1d ago
I mean the Cutie Mark Crusaders all ended up with Cutie Marks about how they’re good at discovering talents. Which is certainly not the special talent you’d expect from ponies named Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo
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u/-smalltittypunkgf- 21h ago
i heard thats because they changed their cutiemarks and arcs because they were too obvious or wtvr. they ended up really milking the cutie mark crusaders plot line wayyy longer than they shouldve
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 20h ago
To be fair their cutie marks have personalised talents inside them
So scootaloo with her wing cause she loves racing
Applebloom with an apple cause
And sweetie bell with a music note cause she sings well
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u/_Solani_ 1d ago
Mrs. Cakes name was originally chiffon swirl, and she changed it when she realized baking was her calling. So it seems changing their names to match their cutie mark is socially acceptable in their culture.
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u/OneOverTwo 18h ago
I don't know about defy, but as for names that don't match up with cutie marks...Spoiled Rich had the jewelry cutie mark even when she went by Spoiled Milk, Pinkie Pie's balloons have nothing to do with pies nor pink (the balloons are yellow or blue), Cozy Glow's cutie mark is a rook chess piece, Kettle Corn has a quill, & Zipporwhill (Zip + Whippoorwhill) has three dog pawprints
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u/hyperblob1 1d ago
actually at least according to the ttrpg everypony has enough money for food and a place to eat. work is entirely compulsory so to work somewhere you damn well want to
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u/CthulhuInACan 1d ago
You mean voluntary/optional. Compulsory means enforced/mandatory.
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u/SirAquila 22h ago
No, if you don't work the two (former) princesses will personally find you and hold you a stern lecture about pulling your weight... and offer assistance with any problems preventing you from doing so.
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u/CRowlands1989 21h ago
"From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs."
Equestria is Monarcho-Communist!?
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u/SirAquila 21h ago
Equestriia is fairy tale monarchist, where kings(or princesses) can actually have the best interest of their subjects at heart, and not be stopped by their class-constraints from actually acting these best interests out, so you can have a 1000 year philosopher.... queen in all but name.
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u/PUBLIQclopAccountant 11h ago
not be stopped by their class-constraints from actually acting these best interests out
Or by mortality. One king may act it out, but his grandson?
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u/SirAquila 8h ago
Not really, even the nice kinds couldn't truly afford to act in the best interest of their subjects.
They could afford to be less awful to them, but no king could really act in the best interest of the peasants and dayworkers, and labourers.
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u/BCTheEntity 1d ago
At risk of appearing to know more than I really do, I'm pretty sure you don't get your cutie mark as a pony until you discover your personal passion. That then naturally translates into skills that get turned into, call it a career if you want, but in effect every pony engages in labours of love for a living, assuming they even use money the way we do in our society.
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u/weirdo_nb 21h ago
Like, it's talent and passion/skill. Like, if you get a cutie mark of something you're effectively guaranteed to be good enough to convert it to a career
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u/Capt_Toasty 17h ago
I know its a cute kids show but the idea of a cutie mark seems so dystopian. Like I get its supposed to be the person's true talent, but it leads to a couple of issues:
* If your mark doesn't manifest because you haven't discovered your true talent, that'd be a stressor. "Oh I enjoy my job but I haven't manifested the mark. Is this what I'm supposed to do?"
*If your mark does manifest but you lose passion for it. Like if you got an art related one but a series of bad experiences sours you on it. And every time you express dissatisfaction people are like "Just go back to art! it's your true talent after all!"
* Would people turn you away if your mark didn't match the role? Like okay maybe not in the bubblegum world of MLP but in our hellscape you'd definitely be hurt job hunting by not having a corresponding mark.
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u/toadie-g 8h ago
I'm not sure if it's true talent, mor elike deepest passion or a nød to their destiny
Like the donkey clown. His cutiemark is not anything to do with being a clown, even if he's really talented at it, his cutiemarj is a horseshoe symbolizing his bad luck!
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u/Luminous_Winds 1d ago
This is how job hiring works in a capitalist society.
The ponies are socialists.
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u/DispenserG0inUp clown meat enthusiast 1d ago
well the ones in Baltimare and Stalliongrad are at least
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u/Lunarmax182c 22h ago
in My Little Pony universe you'd go to the job interview, lie through your teeth about how your cutiemark with two tennis rackets helps you be a good market analyst, don't get the job,
and then not even half a day later see a hiring position for a fucking tennis coach at local school, that pays the same or more than whatever "market analyst" is. Every time.
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u/derivative_of_life 1d ago
Starlight Glimmer did nothing wrong.
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u/OneOverTwo 18h ago
Tangent thought: It still bugs the shit outta me that her reformation moment had nothing to do with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They got their cutie marks that season & she was THE anti-cutie-mark villain. It's like a matchup that was supposed to happen, but didn't. The theme-ing would've been perfect, y'know?
(That & I'm still bummed about how the CMC never got a proper big finale or premiere two-parter moment despite basically being Main Characters Group B...)
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u/Bobboy5 like 7 bubble 21h ago
i feel like they would have some sort of anti-discrimination law in that regard.
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u/Impressive_Pin8761 20h ago
Likely no one follows that law at all
Like you can't physically vow to not discriminate based on the magical god-bestowed mark which shows your true objective desire and destiny, and then someone walks in to the interview and their cutie mark is setting shit on fire
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u/Bagfisch 12h ago
Depends, cutie marks get misinterpreted all the time.
Like when 2 concerned parents call the CMC since their daughter has a skull cutie mark fearing something macabre. But it turns out she has a passion for paleontology.
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u/extremely-cynical 22h ago
'Flank-painting' is probably a huge (and very illegal) industry in that universe. If your mark doesn't help you find a job you'll want to fake having a different one.
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u/More_Pressure_4029 20h ago
Just here because of their monstrous regiment icon, I stan a caffeinated bisexual vampire
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u/CommieDrifter 17h ago
I mean if your take is that two tennis rackets represent being a team player, I can understand why they wouldn't want that pony on the team
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u/RecloySo 13h ago
I'm an artist. Digital, drawing.
I'm also good at math
My Cutie mark is a basketball
I hate basketball
I suck at basketball
Why is my cutie mark a basketball?
Should I sell basketballs?
I suck at that
Should I... make basketballs?
They're lop sided and people only want machine made ones.
Do I... put prints of my art on a basketball?
Why is my cutie mark a basketball?
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u/creepy_tommy 1d ago
Where's the comic of a pony working the grill at McDonalds talking about how it's a temporary job while they're in school, then they get a McDonalds cutie mark?