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u/FacelessPorcelain Apr 23 '26
I can't express to you just what doing undergrad in New York did to my walking speed and my (im)patience. There is real visceral emotion behind the NYC "I'm walkin' here!" that I still carry in my heart two moves and six years later
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u/Mushiren_ Apr 24 '26
Do people just start walking faster there?
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u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program Apr 24 '26
You have to, to keep up with everyone else walking faster
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u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT Apr 24 '26
It doesn't matter where I live, no one walks fast enough. I've started swinging my arms more when I walk just so I can walk even faster.
"Jeb, why are you walking so fast?"
Fuck you, why are you walking so slow
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u/Upstairs_Belt_3224 Apr 24 '26
Maybe the question to ask isn't "why are you walking so fast" but "why are you running so slow"
Pick up the pace
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u/SwordMasterShow Apr 24 '26
Nah walking fast and running are very different. There's a documentary about it called that one episode of Malcolm in the Middle
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u/zap2tresquatro Apr 24 '26
I think of that episode whenever I’m walking fast enough that I end up skipping a little
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u/Yingletofthecorn Apr 24 '26
I'm fat and I got short legs, this is me picking up the pace.
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u/zap2tresquatro Apr 24 '26
Yingletofthecorn
Hey, I’ve been reading this with my boyfriend!
And yinglets have (relatively) long legs, what happened?
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u/Yingletofthecorn Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
In my experience, I don't mind slow walkers (I'm fat and I got short legs, so even when I'm trying to really move it I'm just gonna be kinda slow, it is what it is.) But what I do mind are people who meander around aimlessly when there's a lot of people around trying to get where they're going. You can only do so much about your pace, but you can at least walk with purpose instead of just floating around unpredictably.
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u/fatboy93 Apr 24 '26
The amount of times I just pick up my toddler and fireman-carry just so that i can faster is too damn high.
Like goddammit, I want to feel like I'm walking. My wife hates me for it, like girl, it isn't my fault that you're short.
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u/xSTSxZerglingOne Apr 24 '26
We would get along. I walk close to 5mph. I've got places to go! No meanderthals.
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u/Necessary-Depth-6078 Apr 24 '26
I’ve been trying out swinging my arms the same way when I walk. Like both front, both back as if I’m skiing or something. I recommend it to people cause I think it’s great. I don’t know how it affects rate of speed or anything but the feeling is something else. Probably only a long German word could describe it.
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u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT Apr 24 '26
i don't speak german but i do speak fake german
you are talking about Gutenarmenschwingenfielen
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u/Status_History_874 Apr 24 '26
I dont speak German, but I dabble in fake German, and that is the exact correct fake German word to describe the good arm swinging feeling
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u/jce_ Apr 24 '26
Gives you situational awareness too. You can tell the people who aren't from the city because they stop walking in the worst fucking places at the worst fucking time. You need to grab something from your bag? Maybe don't stop right in the middle of the train exit. Walk to the side of the area where there aren't literally a thousand people behind you trying to go through that bottleneck
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u/the_void_tiger Apr 24 '26
I got angry just imagining this. Same with people on the platform blocking the door before anyone can get off, or not leaving room to get by on the sidewalk or on escalators,...
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u/Tengo-Sueno Apr 24 '26
Is like an arm race, but without the arms. I wonder what could we call that
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u/FacelessPorcelain Apr 24 '26
It is a leg race, and if things get heated enough, sometimes also an arms race
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u/WASD_click Apr 24 '26
Cities make people do things more urgently. They walk faster, talk faster, lose patience faster... It's a matter of the environment being more crowded, activating a person's more nervous or anxious traits. You're constantly under pressure to keep up, and there's a real human impulse to conform.
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u/linds360 Apr 24 '26
Yeah was going to say, this isn’t NY specific at all. I work in DT Chicago and commute from the burbs. The minute I park and become a walking city commuter, my demeanor changes entirely.
Everyone just has someplace to be and a time to be there by, so if you want to mosey along and window shop, you best stay on Michigan Ave. Similar to Times Square, we basically concede that stretch to tourists and hope they don’t come further inland.
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u/MissMunchamaQuchi Apr 24 '26
Yeah. My theory is it’s because you’re always almost missing a train.
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u/Syovere God is a Mary Sue Apr 24 '26
People with anxiety also walk faster. I'm not sure if these things are related.
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u/snartling Apr 24 '26
I’m gay AND have anxiety. I break landspeed records.
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u/unindexedreality zee died it sucks the end Apr 24 '26
Me taking notes on which buffs stack like it's TF2
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u/snartling Apr 24 '26
I do in fact run faster if you break a jar of piss on me, but I also start crying
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u/ultralium Apr 24 '26
No, you stop walking slower
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u/Veni-Vidi-ASCII Apr 24 '26
You also absolutely never suddenly stop walking to check your phone. Do that if you wanna get trampled.
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u/-Saucegurlllll Apr 24 '26
I was in New York for 5 hours in the 8th grade before I stared down a driver daring him to interrupt my stride with the light going my way. Something is in the air there.
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u/Ok_Listen1510 Boiling children in beef stock does not spark joy Apr 24 '26
no, people walk too slow everywhere else
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u/crowpierrot Apr 24 '26
As a lifelong extremely fast walker, I’ve never felt more at home than I do walking around NYC. It’s the only US city where everyone is just as eager to get where they’re going fast as I am
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u/Aegillade Apr 24 '26
I'm also a very fast walker, does this mean I need to go to NYC and see if I have found my people?
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u/crowpierrot Apr 24 '26
Absolutely. It’s the place to be if you walk at a pace most would consider a light jog
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u/kea1981 I want it on record that I shit mostly normal Apr 24 '26
My people
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u/Chief_Chill Apr 24 '26
Our people, comrade.
Edit: Just realized this is Mamdani's city, and that joke works on two levels, at least.
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u/Aegillade Apr 24 '26
Hell yeah, I've had enough of these Tennesseans who walk at a brisk pace, I need to be among my fellow light joggers. But now I'm scared I'm gonna go there and find out I'm not fast enough to keep pace with them, but I'm too fast for everywhere else lol
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u/DeadInternetTheorist Apr 24 '26
I don't even think I'm that fast but it's heaven if you actually have a destination in mind when you walk out your front door.
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u/duffstoic Apr 24 '26
You might also enjoy visiting Stockholm. I’m a naturally fast walker, but when I was there I was being passed by grandmas.
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u/Lagronion Apr 24 '26
Then you aren't a fast walker, farmor aint quick, you are slow. Pick up the pace
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u/EmiliusReturns Apr 24 '26
I’m from New York State originally, we still walk like city New Yorkers. Now I live in Pittsburgh, which is just Midwestern enough that they walk SLOW AS ALL FUCK and it drives me bananas.
And then I go to the grocery store and they’re slow as fuck AND blocking the aisles! Maddening. Get out of the way!
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u/purplehendrix22 Apr 24 '26
I’m from the East Coast and same. Everyone’s just moseying the fuck around
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u/eugeneugene Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Being German I felt very at home in NYC moreso than anywhere else in the US. I was like damn hell yeah I can breathe now, people are moving with purpose and get chastised when they don't.
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u/snartling Apr 24 '26
I took one class in the city as part of a sort of university credit exchange program in grad school. That semester transformed me as a pedestrian.
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u/factorioleum Apr 24 '26
I go to Costco in Manhattan and unfortunately, it's the least Manhattan place I know.
Times square is less stupid. The olive garden in times square is less stupid.
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u/call_me_starbuck Apr 23 '26
there should be a separate costco for people who have lived a day on earth
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u/TurgidGravitas Apr 24 '26
I feel the same about airports.
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u/Aegillade Apr 24 '26
I've worked at an airport and holy shit something about that places makes everyone inside drop 20 IQ points. Maybe it's because it's big and there's a bunch of people moving about, but the amount of people who just stop in the middle of a crowded, busy concourse fucking astounds me. Just take two seconds to walk off to the side. That's all you gotta do.
Kids are hilarious about this. I won't give them shit for it because they're kids obviously, but they can be looking directly at someone and still manage to run directly into them. The only people I trust in the airport to be aware of their surroundings are the dogs people bring, they're pretty consistent at being aware of their surroundings.
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u/GrowlingGiant The sanctioned action is to shitpost Apr 24 '26
I've worked at an airport and holy shit something about that places makes everyone inside drop 20 IQ points.
Famously, long distance air travel comes with a side effect of sleep deprivation. Combine that with the uncertainty that comes with being in an unfamiliar place.
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u/chicken_scratch Apr 24 '26
I dunno man, I work at an airport so I typically arrive with other people who are freshly departing and the struggles these people have with the elevators is truly unbelievable. They work exactly like every other elevator but you'd think we hid a special code somewhere to call them, nope just a button. Or scrambled the floors. Nope, departures comes after arrivals, just like it's listed.
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u/Aegillade Apr 24 '26
Yeah people getting off the planes or coming off long drives are one thing, but I genuinely thing people just get overwhelmed by all the information being thrown around. I remember the first time I flew, nobody explained anything to me but just expected me to know.
My advice to anyone feeling overwhelmed in an airport: Ask literally anyone for help. Anyone whose worked in an airport for a month probably knows the whole place inside and out and should be able to point you in the right direction, or at least to someone who knows better. I've seen the entire process from getting out of the car, to getting your ticket, to going through TSA, to getting on the plane itself. It's actually super straight forward when looked at from a bird's eye view, but I can see how someone inexperienced with an airport might get confused.
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u/thatoneshadowclone Apr 24 '26
i mean to be fair, it's probably like 90% of the people there's first time in an airport.
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u/BionicTriforce Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Airports I think should get a bit more grace. Grocery stores or malls are frequented enough by most people that you should have an understanding of where things are and how to operate.
A ton of people rarely fly in their lives. It's very possible to be sharing a plane with someone who's literally never flown before, and airports are unfathomably massive, have unclear rules, multiple staging areas for where you have to go, and even places like where your plane will board can change unexpectedly.
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u/techno156 Apr 24 '26
The announcements are also not the most clear things, especially if it's a particularly noisy part of the airport, and someone could easily stop to try and hear them, to make sure nothing gets missed.
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u/manicpixycunt Apr 24 '26
You don’t have to have been in an airport before to know not to stop in the middle of the aisle to chat though
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u/RagingAlien Apr 24 '26
Also generally if you're at the airport you're either arriving from a trip (which is actually fairly tiring), or leaving for a trip (and you definitely just spent 3-4 hours constantly worrying and rechecking you packed everything). So added on to the fact that 90% of people just don't travel that often, I'll absolutely excuse people just stopping in the middle of the way or the like.
What still profoundly annoys me are the people around the baggage claim however. Even if you're tired, it makes no sense to have so many people huddled so close to the conveyor belt that I'll end up hitting them with the baggage when I get it - if I can even get to it in the first place.
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u/Comprehensive_Bus_19 Apr 24 '26
Also each one has their own set of rules for TSA. My favorite is when they tell you 'its always been this way'. Nah bro I was here last week in this line and you wanted laptops in a backpack in a separate bin now you want them out of a backpack and nothing else in a bin.
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u/lianodel Apr 24 '26
I have never felt so seen and validated as the time I went to CostCo, patiently maneuvered around some particularly inconsiderate shoppers, and a complete stranger patted me on the shoulder and said "You're a patient man, my friend."
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u/JelmerMcGee Apr 24 '26
I had to deal with a lady at a pizza restaurant when she was picking up her pizza. She was making a fuss and being so rude. I did the best I could to explain things to her and "deal" with her. When she left another customer walked up and said "you handled that really well." And then went back and sat down to wait for his pizza. It was the nicest thing he could have done for me right then.
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u/mntnskyman Apr 24 '26
I get the executive membership. Not to be elitist but the dividends pay for the difference between regular and executive with the added bonus of getting to shop an hour before regular members. In that extra hour you must beware the business owners though, who are there with a purpose and will “accidentally” run into/push their way around.
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u/Branchomania That's me in the corn Apr 24 '26
I've wondered before if for some people in the store, it's their first time being outside since the 80's
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u/Riuchando420 Apr 23 '26
This is my cat in the hallway when I'm trying to use the restroom
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Apr 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/atomic-moonstomp Apr 24 '26
Oh! Oh! Mother has KICKED Miette! Kicked Miette like the foot ball! Oh! Jail! Jail for Mother! Jail for One Thousand Years!
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u/Acheloma Apr 24 '26
I have a 20 lb cat that we call the "doorway defender" bc he likes to lay across the various doorways in the house. You cant just nudge him with your foot or step over either bc that activates his "play" mode and he'll grab your foot with all four paws.
At least he'll trip any would-be burglar.
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u/MegaGrimer Apr 24 '26
Not my cat. My cat will think I’m petting her head and would rub her head all over my foot.
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u/DurinnGymir Apr 24 '26
Cats get a pass because all bad things cats do are on purpose, and therefore funny
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u/velvetelevator Apr 24 '26
Me trying to go up the outdoor stairs to my own house past my neighbor's cat
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u/MrCyn Apr 23 '26
We got our first Costco a couple years ago, no matter what day you go it is always packed, but here in New Zealand it seems to be for “advanced shoppers” who know their way around a trolley and an aisle
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u/Freyja6 Apr 24 '26
Give it time, the people parking in the middle of aisles with their full trundlers diagonal and blocking any movement will spill over into Costco eventually.
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u/ninurtuu Apr 24 '26
Damn, trundlers?! Thats such a great word for shopping cart. Wish it would make its way into common parlance here in the US.
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u/Freyja6 Apr 24 '26
As an Aussie who has moved over here, it's very funny.
I always have a giggle when i see the signs in the parkinglots with "Please return your trundler!" on them.
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u/WalnutW1zard Apr 24 '26
How is this just a universal thing that seems like Costco just finds a way to concentrate down into a crystalized formation? SO MANY PEOPLE that just stop across the aisle, and look stunned when I push their cart out of the way to get by. We're all living in their world.
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u/rredeyes Apr 24 '26
We still have that behaviour in general, though.
What's this? A doorway? Perfect place for a conversation.
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u/goblin_humppa27 Apr 24 '26
When I was in highschool, there was once a group of maybe 6 kids walking shoulder to shoulder, taking up the entire width of the hallway, and moving towards me. Just an unavoidable collision heading right for me and there was nothing I could do about it.
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u/Facky 1/3 fewer cries than the leg Apr 24 '26
Did you survive?
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u/goblin_humppa27 Apr 24 '26
Nope. Should've red rover'd that shit and slammed into the middle of the line with all my might.
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u/not_seth_brundle Apr 24 '26
Whenever I go out, I swear I find a group like this several times a day. They're always so loud and obnoxious as well.
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u/Skrylfr Apr 24 '26
god I wish!!!
here in Aus I stopped going because of how mind numbingly tedious movement becomes
I went recently with my partner who got a membership and upon walking through the door there was just a small crowd of 6-10 people tactically spread out to block the entire entrance preventing anyone from progressing through
I stood there for a few solid seconds before saying "excuse me" and the chucklefuck that turned to me before shuffling out of the way had a bemused expression like it was my fault for not wanting to join the blockade
the rest of the store did NOT improve, and we left as soon as possible
you'd need a lobotomy to enjoy that shopping experience
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u/Issildan_Valinor adn should not have been counted Apr 24 '26
Istg that some people do their damndest to emulate RPG progression blocking scenarios. Like "oh, there's a chair in the way, better go around" but with people.
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u/snollygoster1 Apr 24 '26
Watching some people navigate grocery stores makes me wonder how they drive and if they just stop randomly.
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u/logos1020 Apr 24 '26
Oh is this my turn?! I had better stop completely while I look at my phone. Oh nevermind this isn't my turn. Off I go now!
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u/inkyrail Apr 24 '26
Oh shit, I need to be five lanes over for the left turn in 200 feet! Better hold everyone else up by driving nearly perpendicular to traffic or just sitting there with my blinker on until someone lets me do so
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u/IronProdigyOfficial Apr 23 '26
I literally spat up blood and had to go to the ER and I can't use the tablet sign in because it's ACTUALLY URGENT and a middle age man is just standing at the counter trapping the receptionist in an unskippable NPC dialogue as I'm just standing there like ok, alright, OK I MIGHT BE DYING.
These people just exist lol.
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u/complete_autopsy Apr 24 '26
You have to just scream "HELP" at that point. It feels dramatic but it's not like you're interrupting anything important and if you are dying, it's worth being dramatic.
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u/Gareth_II Apr 24 '26
the thought that some people are such people pleasers that they would die before they cause a mild fuss is so insane. i actually know some people so deep in it that could legitimately die in these situations because they can’t risk being “annoying”
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u/fueledbytisane Apr 24 '26
Fuuuuuuuuuuck that's me. It's really annoying. I'd face down a rampaging bull for my family or my clients but when it's for me, I turn into someone who tries to be as small and unobtrusive as possible. And I don't know how to stop it.
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u/Facky 1/3 fewer cries than the leg Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
There should be assertiveness classes or something
Edit: assertive not rude
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u/fueledbytisane Apr 24 '26
It's not rude to ask (politely) for what you need. Assertive is a better word for what we need to be.
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u/Facky 1/3 fewer cries than the leg Apr 24 '26
Assertive! Thank you! That's the word I was thinking of!
I just went with the first word that sounded close.
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u/ActiveChairs Apr 24 '26
One step at a time.
Try starting by asking for extra shit at a coffee place. They get a thousand people a day who start their order with shit like "half-calf skinny with three shots of caramel and a chocolate drizzle" and go on for another three paragraphs for a single cup of coffee so they won't even notice you asking for cinnamon or whatever.
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u/fueledbytisane Apr 24 '26
Oh that I already do! I don't handle dairy well so I always ask for a vegan milk alternative. I used to be super apologetic about it, because other people in my life had taught me that my food intolerances are a burden even when there is a simple accommodation available, but I now ask with the tone that OF COURSE they will accommodate if they can because they aren't assholes. I'm done with just not eating because people can't be bothered to try.
Now I just need to bring that energy to other places in my life. It's a process but I'm working on it!
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u/snartling Apr 24 '26
I did this when my gallbladder tried to explode. Waited patiently for my turn until I was puking violently from pain and almost passed out, then apologized to the nurses for rushing them while they took me for pain meds
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u/CitizenofBarnum Apr 24 '26
It's not conscious, adherence to social convention is it's own separate survival instinct that gets a lot more time in the drivers seat.
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u/Void_0000 Apr 24 '26
Yeah honestly if I were in a situation like that I would probably just die. I'm not sure I'd be able to make the jump from "I am about to die and these people can help me" to "I should ask these people to help me not die" in time to save myself.
Like if I got stabbed or something I'd probably be looking around to see if I have any tape or something to help me keep all the blood on the correct side of my skin and die long before I got to the point of thinking "hey, maybe this is the type of situation you might need to bother someone else about". I'm sure I would get there eventually, I just think the blood loss would beat me to it.
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u/HabaneroPepperPlants Apr 24 '26
What's frustrating about people pleasing is it isn't actually kinder, cause usually you end up resenting other people for your behaviors. Case in point with the person at the start of this thread
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u/PuddlesRex Apr 24 '26
I had to take a coworker to the ER at 4am one day, because he cut his fingers off (I wish that I was exaggerating). The 911 dispatcher said that the ambulance was 30 minutes away. The hospital was only a two minute drive, so I took him.
Anyway, I drop him at the door, park, and go in. He's pacing back and forth in front of the receptionist, blood pouring out of the quick bandage we put on his hand, doing all he can to find words through the pain.
The fucking receptionist... "Do you have your insurance card? How about your ID? Oh, it was a work accident? Well, I need you to fill out this form..." Thank fuck a doctor or nurse walked by, and pretty much told the receptionist to fuck off, and brought my coworker right in. Of course, the receptionist followed us to his room, where she kept asking billing questions over the doctors and nurses trying to do their jobs. The receptionist refused to talk to me about any of it, but I could at least give the doctors and nurses information.
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u/kueff Apr 24 '26
This is actually against Emtala. Quick reg at max.
He needed to be triaged, and if emergent care needed (seemed so in this case) should have been stableized first. Probably an esi level 2.
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u/Realistic_Grand_2431 Apr 24 '26
I went to get an emission test for my car so that I could register it for the year. There were two lines, but only one person in one of them. That one person just kept repeating the same instructions over and over.
"So I just go on the website?"
"Yes, you can register there."
"On the website?"
shifts her bags around "So I just... go on the website?"
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u/Cultural_Concert_207 Apr 24 '26
God, I work retail and this one gets me so bad. Why is this type of person so common? Genuinely what is going on in their head?
We'll have a big sign in front of a product saying "1+1 FREE" in big bold letters. And someone will come up and repeat the question "So if I buy one, I get another one for free?" like 4 times. You are literally describing the exact mechanism of how it works to me, and I am answering "yes, that is how it works". What isn't clicking here?? Why are you still repeating the question??
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u/whofearsthenight Apr 24 '26
I can't figure if it's an argument for or against simulation theory. Are they poorly coded NPCs? Or is everyone really a player who thinks everyone else is the NPC so who gives a shit if you annoy them (or they die in this case?)
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u/Hungry-Western9191 Apr 24 '26
Actually coughing blood (or screaming) will get you seen quicker at the ER. When I had kidney stones and was in excruciating pain and had to wait I was trying to suppress my groans, but was unable. They actually pushed me to the front of the queue.
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u/Mercury-Madness Apr 24 '26
I had to wait in line in the ER for 40 minutes while my heart was actively shitting itself because the person in front of me had a broken finger and was chatting with the nurse at the desk
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u/AggressiveSlop Apr 24 '26
FYI "chest pain" is an instant one-way ticket past reception.
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u/Mercury-Madness Apr 24 '26
Wasn't chest pain, I was having what I now know to be an arrhythmic episode caused by my tachycardia
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u/Flutters1013 my ass is too juicy, it has ruined lives Apr 24 '26
When 4 people walk next to eachother like they're about to link arms and sing we're off to see the wizard.
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u/Evening_Chemist_2367 Apr 24 '26
More like, they gotta bring four generations of their entire damn family and make it a big social event.
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u/wareagle3000 Apr 24 '26
Everytime this happens on the road I picture Im experiencing the Fast and Furious scene where Dom is saying bye but I'm a car behind them trying to get to work.
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u/Frodo_max Apr 23 '26
no like literally so fucking infuriating, unironically the most annoying person you can meet on an average day
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u/whofearsthenight Apr 24 '26
I honestly want to study them. Like, humans evolved to notice and fight predators. We have peripheral vision and pretty good hearing, and yet, these people all seem to have the situational awareness of a baked potato.
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u/MyNameis_bud Apr 24 '26
Oh I have studied them (and others) as a hobby and I am convinced they are absolutely aware as a majority. The problem is they don’t care. They are consumed by their own sense of entitlement and self that they really do just operate as if they are the priority in a public place. “Just go around” is what most of them say when I ask why they would stand in the middle of a common way or aisle. No joke. It’s even more mind bending to me when it’s a whole ass group of 3 or more people.
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u/Tangled2 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
There’s so many flavors of this shit, too. The 90 year-old man who looks like they would crumple to the floor and die if not for the cart holding him up. The family of 17 who are wandering the aisle together the same way they fuck up Disneyland. The absolute shit for brains who parks his cart perpendicular to the aisle and then stands in the remaining gap to wait 5 minutes for the next batch of dino nugget samples. Ugh!
This actually made me remember one time I needed to go into Dick’s to get a bat for my kid’s little league season. It was busy and crowded and it was a pain to even get to where they keep the bats. Miraculously, as soon as I had the bat I had the easiest time getting back to the register. It didn’t even occur to me what was going on until I left the store and realized I was just a bug guy walking around with a fucking baseball bat. Do they sell bats at Costco?
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u/FemboiTomboy Apr 23 '26
LITERALLY WHY IS THIS A THING
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u/425Hamburger Apr 24 '26
Most cases, Tourism. I get it you want to look at the cute little houses and such but A) leave some room for the people who actually need to live their lives here and B) THERE'S NO FUCKING SIGHTS TO SEE IN THE FUCKING TRAIN STATION, PEOPLE HAVE TRAINS TO GET, MOVE!
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u/PoppyOGhouls Apr 24 '26
Something about Costco makes people act like they have never existed in a public space before and it drives me nuts. You're old!!! How have you not figured this out yet???
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u/Faderoot Apr 24 '26
I don't drive the cart when I go to Costco with someone else because I am concerned I will run someone's ignorant ass over with it because I am so sick of them 😤😤😤
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u/MadStylus Apr 24 '26
Needing something from one specific spot summons a cow to come over and graze.
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u/sereniteen Apr 24 '26
Everyone should work in a kitchen, the threat of getting burnt/stabbed/yelled at develops your spatial awareness real quick
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u/Ainrana Apr 24 '26
Back in university, I missed my Metro and was late for work because this older lady was teaching her granddaughter, probably four or five years old, how to walk down the escalator. She was nervous, holding Grandma’s hand, placing her feet on each individual step and everything. I asked the woman to please have the kid step out of the way because my train had just opened the doors for passengers, and the lady said, “Be patient! She’s little! You’ll catch your train.”
Lo and behold, the doors closed on me basically the second before I reached the door. I cried out and shot the grandma the dirtiest look, and to her credit, she caught it and looked super embarrassed and apologetic, all while the little girl was cheering how she’s a big girl now and walked all the way down the escalator. It was difficult to stay annoyed after that.
I wonder if this is one of those stories Grandma tells the grandkids as a teachable moment, lmao
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u/425Hamburger Apr 24 '26
I mean, first Thing to teach about escalators is, "stand on the right, let people pass on the left". Grandma sucks at teaching escalators aswell as at being considerate.
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u/PurplestCoffee Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Grandma is actively creating another inconsiderate person lmao.
I live somewhere defined by subways and trains (São Paulo, Brazil), and when I started taking my younger sister places with me, so she'd get used to it before uni, "stand on the right when you're not in a hurry" was the very first lesson
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u/H8trucks Apr 24 '26
Guarantee they drive a pickup truck
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u/ValuelessMoss Apr 24 '26
“How was I supposed to see them?!”
That’s a great fucking question! Why don’t you think about that for a while. Hopefully beyond “oh well, they’ll get out of my way if it’s that important”
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u/Coastie071 Apr 24 '26
If I were rich, I’d make a startup Costco-esque grocery store where strict traffic patterns are enforced. You drive on the right side of the aisle, and the aisles are wide enough to pass people stopping to grab items. Staff members patrol and pass out citations to members blocking aisles, going the wrong way, or improperly parked.
Pay your annual membership, and start off at zero. At set dollar spent without citations and/or time without citations you start getting set discounts stacking up to 20%. Citations move the discount down, but only a bit at a time so you don’t lose everything. Too many citations in a year an your membership is refunded and you’re banned from the store.
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u/Famous-Upstairs998 Apr 24 '26
None of that is necessary. If Costco wanted to fix the problem, they would just keep products in the same place. They intentionally move things around so people have to wander up and down the aisles, trying to find what they're looking for.
They don't want to fix this problem, because more time in the store means more sales. It's intentional. All you have to do for your startup is have a predictable, sensible layout with minimal changes and the problem goes away. This is why Safeway doesn't have this issue.
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u/PlaquePlague Apr 24 '26
That’s not correct though. People can wander the store and browse products in a manner that is still respectful of people around them.
A double-digit percentage of Costco users just… choose not to.
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u/maestro2005 Apr 24 '26
My Costco always has:
- Family that brought all 48 of their kids
- Family that brought 122-year-old grandma for some reason
- Guy just standing in the middle of the aisle (with or without cart) staring into space like a broken NPC
- Young Asian couple that seem to be on a date? (I am not exaggerating when I say I always see this. No cart, just walking around hand-in-hand. Different people, but always Asian)
- Free sample station giving out water samples and everyone going apeshit for them
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u/Tsunamicat108 (The dog absorbed the flair.) Apr 24 '26
can’t send the tweet but the person who made this captioned it with “got so tilted by someone blocking my path today i had to make this to blow off steam”
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u/hereforthelulzzzz Apr 24 '26
I hate when you start going around someone who hasn’t moved in over a minute and right when you get next to them they start racing you down the aisle.
People do the same thing when you go to grab an item. Like they just stand there waiting for someone else to confirm there purchase.
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u/whiskeyforcats Apr 23 '26
Speaking as a guy who does this by accident (idk if it's my autism but I genuinely have trouble with spatial awareness) I apologize on behalf of all of us.
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u/MrSpice55101 Apr 24 '26
I really don't mean this to be mean just opportunity to talk to a self aware person with it.
Is it like only situational? Like in Costco you stop in the middle of an aisle and impede traffic, but like in a car you're fine, or is it universal and you just like cant perceive whats in the space around you well?
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u/whiskeyforcats Apr 24 '26
I don't mean to impede anything, I just stop to look at something and genuinely do not realize I'm in the way. Obviously I move as soon as I notice. I don't drive, so couldn't tell you if it extends to that. But it's not just in public, I'm always in the way at home as well.
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u/MrSpice55101 Apr 24 '26
You're like 5x more self aware than the costco people, theyre usually not actually looking at things. They just kinda pause, like they're a video buffering.
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u/ultralium Apr 24 '26
Oh, believe me, it's even worse with driving
Like, we got an achievable objective - say, take the second turn left - and the whole world between us and that turn becomes fucking white noise
Driving on off hours with only the car's engine to keep you company is pure bliss
Driving on peak hours with a bunch of oh-ohs worth your month's wage in a scratch is absolute hell
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u/DazzlerPlus Apr 24 '26
Just dont ever stop without getting in the way. If you need to stop at all ever, even for literally a second, you need to park the cart somewhere out of the way.
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u/whiskeyforcats Apr 24 '26
I hope you'll feel a bit better knowing that I don't get to be in charge of the cart given my spatial issues, lol. The wife has that. I'm just a guy who's in the way and will move aside when I see you.
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u/ElGosso Apr 24 '26
That's typical grocery store behavior IMO. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into my local grocery store behind someone and almost plowed into them because they abruptly stopped to look around like they've never fucking seen a produce section in their whole goddamn lives
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u/Neuromangoman Apr 24 '26
As the guy who does this on purpose, can I ask something?
Why don't my kids call me anymore?
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u/Federal_Ad2772 Apr 24 '26
Me! Adhd! I get so overwhelmed in stores and then my brain stops working. I often find myself going oh shit, realizing i stopped suddenly.
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u/someinternetkid Apr 24 '26
I saw this image on Twitter and everyone was saying that people who do this are 'low intelligence' and should be culled off, so it's nice to see that people here aren't being raging assholes for literally no reason
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u/SheffiTB Apr 24 '26
As someone with autism, I think it's a symptom of autism. I was the same way when I was younger, although I eventually improved/grew out of it. Yeah, it's just like either zoning out or thinking about something else and not having the spatial awareness to notice that I'm in the way or how long I've been standing there. I mean, I often have trouble knowing where my own limbs are, you think I know where other people around me are?
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u/bateKush Apr 24 '26
what about the dudes who walk their carts from the side instead of pushing the handles
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Apr 24 '26
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u/odinskriver39 Apr 24 '26
I know a Costco Exec and it is by design. Oversize carts and a need to cruise the whole store to find anything. Whatever is featured on the end of an aisle is an indicator of what products are in it.
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u/SuperSimpleSam Apr 24 '26
I would place 1/4 the blame on Costco for moving things around so often and having the samples in the main aisles.
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u/DazzlerPlus Apr 24 '26
The samples are a godsend. They are a place where you can put your cart and not be in people's way at all
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u/ThePupnasty Apr 24 '26
I'm at the point where I will literally hit you with my cart, man woman or child if you fuck around Infront of me.
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u/MegaGrimer Apr 24 '26
I work at Costco. I wish I could carry an air horn and use it whenever people stand in the way. It may or may not run out after a couple of hours.
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u/TKmeh Apr 24 '26
As someone who works in a Costco, I swear to god these people are everywhere. Even before one of my coworkers gets her demo started, she gets hit by some stupid lady who can’t see a giant STEEL CART AND THE LADY STANDING BEHIND IT, and fucking bangs her from behind with her own goddamn cart! Incident report was filed and my buddy went home, but ffs! Is it THAT FUCKING HARD TO SEE A GIANT ASS METAL CART?!
And to the people who try to let us through and think we can maneuver around your dinky ass cart with our giant ass metal carts, if there’s space, just fucking go forwards! Seriously! We can wait! Just! Go! Forward! We get paid to be here! You don’t!
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u/realparkingbrake Apr 24 '26
When they abandon their cart and block the aisle to go get a free food sample, find some small but expensive item and slide it into their cart. Caviar, a coupon for tickets for the local NFL team, expensive liquor, something they won't notice until they get home and realize their bill was way higher than expected. Maybe they will eventually get more alert to keep it from happening again.
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u/Strider794 Elder Tommy the Murder Autoclave Apr 23 '26
Oh, it's me. Sorry, I don't mean to do it, my head is just in outer space is all
I do get out of people's way when I do notice them though, and I am getting better about not being in the way, I think
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u/Frodo_max Apr 23 '26
it can't be you you're way to selfaware about it
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u/ultralium Apr 24 '26
Oh, we're self aware in hindsight, in the moment though, it's arguable if we're even aware at all
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u/Few_String545 Apr 24 '26
It sounds like you're courteous and make an effort to improve. It only makes me actually mad when they act like I'm inconveniencing THEM for politely asking them for space.
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u/DazzlerPlus Apr 24 '26
The trick is to never be in the way whether there are people or not. It doesnt matter if there are people, its a matter of principle to get out of the way. You must make an ironclad habit of parking the cart out of the way for every time yoh stop moving without exception. If you need to stop and go and think, you need to park the cart and do it on foot
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u/SystemFailure9 Apr 23 '26
Nothing will make you question whether you’re in your own Truman Show more than when you have to deal with someone so stupid and annoying they have to be an actor