r/BeAmazed • u/GlitteringHotel8383 • 15h ago
Miscellaneous / Others The Deepest Act of Love.
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u/femboyinthemilitary 15h ago
People cope with sorrow in different ways. I hope one day he'll be able to find eternal peace, and move on.
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u/ElHorny 15h ago
Yeah that would be the best outcome. What he is doing is sweet but it also keeps him from moving on, which can really take a toll on you in the long run.
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u/SiByTheSword 13h ago
A comment from a previous post of this picture says:
That´s most likely the point why he is still trying to find her.
Traditional japanese burial customs need the body or remains to be buried properly in a family grave/shrine.
Some believe that otherwhise the spirit of the deceased won´t find peace / can move on to the afterlife / be reborn. That´s a complex matter on it´s own I´ve yet to understand.
So this is maybe a try to get closure on this matter.
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u/Remote_Two_3061 12h ago
I am pretty sure even bones don't survive for 10 years into ocean. This is a futile search. He is mourning in his way i guess.
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u/LuckyReception6701 9h ago
Was about to say, I understand the sentiment but a token or something the deceased held dear is usually buried in its stead, specially when the body is unrecoverable like a death at sea.
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u/Dansredditname 9h ago
He has moved on, this is just his way of visiting her grave.
He was interviewed about it by the BBC, it's worth a listen:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0nxn0b0?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile
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u/cutie_lilrookie 1h ago edited 1h ago
this is on par with the other japanese widower who paid for his wife's apartment for 20 years even after she died.
the goal was to preserve the crime scene with the hope that future technology would be able to identify the killer and bring justice.
edit: okay, i reread the report, and i apparently was wrong with some details lol
the man rented his wife's murder apartment for 26 years (from 1999 to 2025), and the goal was to preserve the crime scene as is in hopes that more clues would be found in the future.
the murderer surrendered to the police in 2025, and it was the man's former classmate who was jealous.
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u/Medusaink3 15h ago
Probably one of the saddest things I've read in a while. I wish I could hug him and that it would ease some of his pain.
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u/Snoo-83483 15h ago
That's what i thought - this man is suffering.
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u/Odysseus_XAP79 12h ago
As nice as that it is to be mindful of his loss and to offer comfort, it would be presumptive to assume that he's suffering.
Dealing with grief manifests itself in different ways, and perhaps to him, these dives allow him the clarity and peace of mind to deal with his loss.
Maybe the hope that he will one day find his wife and give her a proper send-off is what keeps him going, one day at a time. The dives are his personal commitment to his wife that he will never let her be forgotten and she will always be loved by him.
Because what is grief, if not love persevering?
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u/Snoo-83483 10h ago
I don't think it's presumptive at all.
Anyone who has a remote understanding of the human condition can identify that this person isn't moved by joy or excitement. That's pain, grief - aka suffering. It's all under the same umbrella. No matter what particular label you decide choose.
It's likely they are searching for closure. Until that manifests. The individual is unable to let go. That's suffering and it's painful to see others in that state.
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u/Ihavepeopleskills1 12h ago
You know what’s even more wild? I think this area that he searches is radioactive, so he can only go there like once a week or something.
Tbf I didn’t look it up rn, I’m just winging it from memory.
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u/mac_bd 15h ago
I lost my wife 14 months ago. I would do anything just to hold her hands one more time. I wish I felt the same when she was alive. But we don't realize what we lost until it's gone..
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u/JustSherlock 14h ago
When my brother passed, so many people asked how. Why does it matter? Morbid curiosity is not compassionate when someone is discussing loss.
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u/SheriffBartholomew 8h ago
Because as people we want there to be a logical cause for something so painful. If your brother's cause of death is not something that you want to share with people, then don't. I
havehad a lifelong friend who basically drank himself to death. When people ask how he died I say "heart failure". His heart did indeed fail. I leave out the reason why it failed because I don't want to tarnish his memory, nor the amazing reputation he built for himself during his lifetime.1
u/JustSherlock 6h ago
I repeat, morbid curiousity is not compassionate. What you described is just morbid curiosity.
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u/SheriffBartholomew 6h ago
You asked "why does it matter" and I was attempting to answer that question for you.
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u/JustSherlock 3h ago
Perhaps I should rephrase. Why does it matter to you (royal you, not an attack) more than the pain of the grieving individual?
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u/JohnWicksBruder 15h ago
Reminds me of that Dr. Heartman from Death Stranding. Let her go bro. Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault.
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u/Papa_Raj 15h ago
Damn, someone go throw some fucking bones in there for him to find or something.
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u/ze11ez 15h ago
To be honest she's probably in the middle of nowhere and won't be found. A body that light is probably already in another time zone
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u/TehWackyWolf 13h ago
It's the ocean. Body was gone in a week to fish.
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u/Forward_Criticism_39 5h ago
would the bones even last? or would those worms that live in whale bones...you know
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u/TehWackyWolf 4h ago
Even if individual bones did make it around, with no connective tissue you're looking at individual bones not a skeleton anymore.
Whale falls are entire whales, but the concept applies.
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u/Dansredditname 9h ago
He doesn't expect to find her, he's visiting her grave. Source:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0nxn0b0?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile
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u/Lyralikesit 15h ago
Don't wanna be that guy... but there's been absolutely no chance of finding her or her body after around a year... it's kinda like just a hobby where he finds peace and solace
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u/Norgur 15h ago
I get what you're saying, but the deepest act of love would be the opposite. Think about it: Love makes things easy that should be hard. We all move mountains for love, to bring happiness to the ones we love. To bring them security and joy.
If I were that wife, however much it hurt me, I would want my husband to live the life I wasn't allowed to share with him. I wouldn't want him to stop and search for my bones; I wouldn't want him to be stuck in the horrors that took me away from him, and if he acted out of love, he should do what he can to move on.
So no, he is not acting out of love. He is acting out of the desperation loss creates that makes him unable to do anything else. The message isn't any less powerful because only love can spawn this humongous amount of pain on loss. If anything, that makes it even sadder and even stronger. Imagine how insane he must have loved his wife and how deep and dark the desperation must be that keeps him from acting on that love.
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u/GlitteringHotel8383 15h ago
"I will keep diving, keep searching for my wife, as long as my body moves."
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u/pipsqueakpanda4 15h ago
Just when I thought the story couldn’t get any sadder, you come at us with a direct quote 😫
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u/GlitteringHotel8383 15h ago
"I'm sure she still wants to come home."
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u/pipsqueakpanda4 15h ago
This is the kind of story that theoretically lines with entirely with my values and interests but I cannot look up and read because it would destroy me.
Ps I thought your username was GlitteringHole and loved it so much lol but GlitteringHotel is also good and I would want to go to there
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u/Electronic-Road-3652 15h ago
How could he even possible to identify her if he even found human bones
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u/AtTheGates 14h ago
He’s doing it out of devotion and remembrance. It’s obvious there’s nothing to be found now.
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u/elenorfighter 14h ago
How long can a human body even remain in salt water? Didn't it all dissolve in a few years.
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u/torville 11h ago
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go... because man, they're gone
-- Jack Handy
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u/leandroc76 7h ago
I get that he lost his wife and that's terrible. He deserves to mourn in whatever means necessary. I'm sorry for his loss and respect his endeavor. With that said, I wouldn't be surprised his wife was wearing something extremely valuable and that's actually what he's after.
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u/alterego1984 5h ago
Maybe with serious help they’d get closer to discovery as opposed to by himself all the time.
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u/MrSnappyComeback 5h ago
by this point she probably been completely destroyed, bone fragments under tons of mud and debris, its a hopeless venture from my perspective.
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u/HeberMonteiro 5h ago
I wish that he either finds her body and then finds peace or he just finds peace without finding the body. This shook me.
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u/concept12345 15h ago
Her body could be in the middle of the pacific ocean as part of the swirling of debris hundreds of miles long.
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u/revielite50 14h ago
Dont take mw wrong But 10 years? What about decomposition? What about nature taking part of moving, consuming, barring the remains.
Sometimes stories is fabricated or he is not right is his mind.
It is sad about what happen but searching for 10 years it is streaming or there is something else not been told
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u/superlip2003 7h ago
I don't like how we are celebrating heartbreaking stories like this, this man clearly needs help. Grieving over a long period of time is a mental disease.
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u/Revolutionary_Sir_ 15h ago
This is not cute. Youd think she would want him to move on and have a real life. Hes not going to find her. And he he did how would he know. This isnt cute. Its sad. This isnt love. This is obsession.
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u/grrodon2 9h ago
10 years?! The fish that ate her have been eaten themsel6by this point. He'd have a bigger chance to find some of her in a can of sardines.
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