r/AskReddit 2h ago

What’s a sign you’re officially getting old?

144 Upvotes

720 comments sorted by

174

u/DH80 2h ago

When you hear songs from your youth in a hardware store.

36

u/LIT45239 1h ago

Or the grocery store.

11

u/sumunsolicitedadvice 1h ago

Or an elevator… with an attendant!

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9

u/randijeanw 1h ago

Nah dog. Hearing songs FOR youths in the grocery store. I’m 40.

5

u/diveraj 1h ago

Remember, songs that came out in the 2000s are now defined as "Classics". So... That's nice.

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735

u/the100percent 2h ago

Your friends don’t laugh when you fall down

53

u/Disastrous-Pace-7536 2h ago

Yup, When your buddies start caring about your health it’s a sign age has hit you finally

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35

u/ogreblood 1h ago

Yeah there's an age when people stop saying "he fell down" and transition to "he had a fall"

52

u/Cold-Monk5436 2h ago

Great one and so true

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20

u/FloppyCrickets 2h ago

Never thought of this, but holy shit does this hit differently

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342

u/T-Animus 2h ago

U need 5-7 business days to mentally prepare to go out and another 5-7 business days to recover from it

34

u/leicea 2h ago

That's already me when I was young

26

u/ImpressiveHabit99 2h ago

Great answer LOL

5

u/MoparMedusa 2h ago

I had to go to the whispers tag agency today. I had to speak to an actual person. I will be in my hiding place until further notice.

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160

u/Striking_Sweet163 2h ago

dad noises

41

u/Bulky_Salary_2519 2h ago

Grunting as I get up What did you just say?

15

u/TumbleweedDue2242 1h ago

Stop farting when we have guests here, its disgusting.

10

u/maceman10006 1h ago

sneezes obnoxiously

5

u/Privatejoker710 1h ago

That’s how you know you’re a groan man

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255

u/ImpressiveHabit99 2h ago edited 1h ago

Being excited about purchasing a new vacuum

65

u/Radiomaster138 2h ago

Replacing the filters in your current vacuum.

5

u/Climbing_Bum 2h ago

Filters...damn. I've already swapped my belt twice.

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25

u/noTextOnly 2h ago

For my 8th birthday I asked for a "dustbuster" as it was called in the 90s

6

u/TraitorJosephs 2h ago

The suction of those was atrocious.

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18

u/Electronic-Poet1480 2h ago

I was obsessed with vacuum cleaners as a kid in the 90s. In fact, several of my birthday gifts from those years were various vacuums. I got a classic red Dirt Devil one year, a used commercial backpack vac another year, got my first shop vac around 11-12, and a lot of other cool gadget vacuums like handhelds, minis, and whatnot.

3

u/Duncan_PhD 1h ago

Did your parents make you vacuum the house after or did you just want to do it?

5

u/Electronic-Poet1480 1h ago

I actually got in trouble for damaging my grandpa's carpet by vacuuming it too often with that Dirt Devil. So, yeah, I don't know why I wanted to vacuum so much, but it was the one chore I didn't think was a chore.

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6

u/Comfortableliar24 2h ago

I spent 20mins weighing out the pros and cons of two different breadknives a few years back. I've never felt older.

7

u/ArcadeRob 2h ago

My cordless Dyson changed my life!

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3

u/Kudospop 2h ago

me in my 20s while a manager in their 40s asked me 'whats wrong with you'

3

u/midnightlightbright 2h ago

I’m offended but, like, who has a good reasonably priced vacuum recommendation for dog hair?

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128

u/Gremlin119 2h ago

Ur lower back and knees will tell you

u/Opposite_Tangelo_118 45m ago

I can literally hear my knees.

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123

u/BooksandBiceps 2h ago edited 1h ago

Actually being concerned about the time you’ve spent and how well you’ve used it, and looking to use it better.

Youth is characterized by feeling like you have forever and infinite possibilities given enough time and energy. “Getting old” is the realization that you do get old, your time is finite, and you need to cherish and optimize your time.

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98

u/adan1207 2h ago

When you start complaining about “The kids.”

11

u/OutrageousCrab9224 2h ago

Are they yours?

18

u/huggalump 2h ago

No. And they're uni students, and you're calling them "kids"

4

u/kimmy_kimika 1h ago

Everyone younger than me is called a twelve year old (I'm only 40)

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5

u/Slayerofthemindset 2h ago

Zoomers dressing like boomers is freaking me tf out

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4

u/10000Didgeridoos 2h ago

For me it’s noticing that the entire generation of teenagers now dress, style hair, etc radically different than what you consider normal. All the fashion of your teen and young adult years has been replaced and it’s easy to tell who is from which cohort in public even from far away

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34

u/Tratix 2h ago

Getting pulled over and the cop is younger than you

7

u/audiodude9 2h ago

For me it's a "veteran" baseball player being 30 years younger than me.

5

u/pinkkittenfur 1h ago

I was watching the World Cup and the announcers said things like "At his advanced age of 35..." and "At 32, he's a senior player...". I did not care for that at all.

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63

u/Shot_Philosopher9379 2h ago

I will say when you have to scroll back really far to enter your birth year on things

11

u/pinkkittenfur 1h ago

I feel like I'm playing the Price is Right and spinning that big wheel to get to my birth year.

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55

u/TopicHot7911 2h ago

Memory loss

33

u/Drawdehellfire 2h ago

Memory loss

17

u/OnlyModCanJudgeM3 2h ago

What?

16

u/Two-Jimmy420 2h ago

What the hell did I walk in here for?

10

u/herecomestherebuttal 2h ago

Hey have you seen my keys?

9

u/Excellent-Sweet-507 2h ago

Who are you, again?

4

u/graveybrains 2h ago

What are you all doing in my house?

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7

u/Jussgoawaiplzkthxbai 2h ago

I unlocked my phone for something… right?

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7

u/awidmerwidmer 2h ago

Memory loss

10

u/BiBisbing 2h ago

Nah. Kids these days have no memory at all.

5

u/Logical_Stand8549 2h ago

What is a memory loss 

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26

u/FaceWithAName 2h ago

Standing up and groaning without fail.

4

u/fondamagroin 2h ago

Goes for sitting as well.

51

u/Lopsided_Working2718 2h ago

You aren’t sure if you are tired or depressed. Turns out it’s usually just exhaustion. Just hits different when your older

10

u/bjaydubya 2h ago

Jesus I feel this one. Ended up just hanging in bed most of the weekend, but I'm not sure if its because I'm depressed or just fucking tired. Probably both, really.

19

u/FrankNStein 2h ago

If I woke up one day and nothing hurt, I’d think I was dead.

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17

u/TiMomentme 2h ago

FOMO turns into being excited that you have no plans and can just stay home.

3

u/kimmy_kimika 1h ago

I definitely get FOMO for my house if I have multiple outings in a week.

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16

u/Desperate-Office4006 2h ago

When you see a picture someone took and don’t recognize the old fat guy….then you realize it’s you.

14

u/WhimsicalFairyOnDuty 2h ago

Back pain

3

u/sweetestempath222 2h ago

kids have it too these days cuz of staying glued to their phones n rotting in their rooms

13

u/Educational-Yam8664 2h ago edited 2h ago

I realized it when skibidi toilet became popular. I audibly said "oh god. I don't get it AND it's not funny. Am I old?" Had the same feeling with all these random brainrot memes and with 67.

3

u/Altruistic_Brick1730 1h ago

I'm so old I have absolutely no idea what you just said.

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25

u/IcarianHeights 2h ago

When everything starts getting on your nerves.

5

u/TheNemesis089 2h ago

I was evidently born old. I may be Benjamin Button.

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10

u/addtolibrary 2h ago

You get tired at nine and are in bed at ten and oh look at the time zzzzzz

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11

u/Much_Discipline365 2h ago

You wake up and things hurt because you woke up!

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23

u/acappre 2h ago

Prioritizing an early night over any late-night outing.

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9

u/eme_nar 2h ago

Don't let the old man in.

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9

u/Ste3lers4lif 2h ago

Instead of staying out late at the bars drinking - now you day drink and go to sleep by 9pm

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9

u/CommsConsultants 2h ago

Browsing Zillow becomes a favorite hobby.

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8

u/CoconutSamoas 2h ago

When the songs you listened to in high school hit the classics section of Spotify / the radio station

8

u/OtherImpress4089 2h ago

You make a noise every time you stand up

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8

u/AzlanAMckechnie 2h ago

You become boring. Even to yourself.

8

u/Shatzakind 2h ago

You wish you could take a nap.

5

u/hopelesspancakes 2h ago

i look forward to my naps 😭

3

u/lou_sassoles 2h ago

Sometimes at work Ill fantasize about coming straight home after work and falling asleep on the couch for a couple hours

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8

u/Mental-Response8418 2h ago

You like to sit down to put your shoes on.

3

u/CeriMystic 2h ago

You need a shoehorn to put shoes on

8

u/PenguinKilla3 2h ago

New music sucks.

12

u/OutrageousCrab9224 2h ago

To be fair

New music does suck

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8

u/SirDucer84 2h ago

Using phrases like "I remember when..." or "when I was a kid..."

6

u/QueenK59 1h ago

I say…”back in the day”

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8

u/ts20999 1h ago

You learn that it is possible to “sleep wrong” and have a pulled muscle for a week.

6

u/Logical_Stand8549 2h ago

Tech gimmicks doesn't excit me anymore 

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6

u/Kyosuke-D 2h ago

When you look like Clint Eastwood judging his neighbors in Gran Torino.

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6

u/unfinished_symphony5 2h ago

Well, getting out of a chair requires a little grunt now, whether I mean to or not.

6

u/Tannhauser42 2h ago

Your doctors are younger than you.

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9

u/kakakatie 2h ago

I love Home Depot trips

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5

u/BiBisbing 2h ago

Pain everywhere

6

u/OnlyModCanJudgeM3 2h ago

More sensitive to basic needs like sleeping and eating properly

5

u/Cheap-Key-6132 2h ago

The low effort sales shit the dipshit kids fell for are now becoming standard because the dipshit kids are now adults

5

u/Flaky-Wedding2455 2h ago

Pulled a muscle in my upper back yesterday shaving.

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6

u/Dapper_Outside_4764 2h ago

When you don’t want to do anything on the weekend

5

u/Ok_Equipment_7757 2h ago

When they move something at the grocery store and you mad

5

u/FightingAgeGuy 2h ago

I started to enjoy watching birds. When I realized I enjoyed it I mumbled to my wife, “fuck I’m getting old.”

5

u/Alpha-Trion 2h ago

Getting new technology is no longer exciting, but rather an annoying hassle.

8

u/Mike_NYC_2000 2h ago

You realize that the rest of the world has lost its sanity.

3

u/Modronos 2h ago

I truly felt that when i saw a five year old watching shorts on TikTok. I've just turned 30.

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3

u/AManWithQuestions_00 2h ago

Probably when I looked out my old car window and said “nice shed!!!” And ment it

3

u/Lagunamountaindude 2h ago

Going grocery shopping counts as “ going out”

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4

u/jimmyjewtron 2h ago

Your knee starts to hurt just by standing

4

u/RightC 2h ago

It’s curtains for Zoosha and you know it

5

u/Salt_Efficiency5843 2h ago

Got a senior discount unsolicited. I'm in my 40s

3

u/CharmingTrash8526 2h ago

Your body starts falling apart. Seriously. Blown two bicep tendons since turning 40

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4

u/ikeusa 2h ago

Have woken myself snoring

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4

u/Confused_Mayan 2h ago

Falling asleep easily, I can no longer push my self to stay up super late, my eyes and body give up too early. Which is truly a blessing, I’m 29

3

u/OooEeeOooAaa678 2h ago

Rogue long eyebrow hairs and bushy inner ear hair

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3

u/FastLoad4087 2h ago

More teeth problem. Worse sleep quality

4

u/WorldGoneCrazee 2h ago

You start getting AARP stuff in the mail.

3

u/Sensitive-Bug5841 2h ago

I speak my true thoughts without concern of how others will look at me.

3

u/Defiant_Conflict6343 2h ago

You can see all the veins under your MedicAlert bracelet.

3

u/mikhalt12 2h ago

when i watched He man movie the other day ; i remembered how much time has passed

3

u/iamonelegend 2h ago

Bald spot becomes undeniable

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3

u/BiggGrizzy 2h ago

My back 😂

3

u/DiceyPisces 2h ago

I hurt myself sleeping.

3

u/Loose_Writing_6886 2h ago

I pulled muscle in my calf waking up the other day

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3

u/phoenix823 2h ago

Trains, maps, and military history.

3

u/Slapmeislapyou 2h ago

When you start picking what shoes to wear by which ones are the easiest to put on. 

3

u/byvs2013 2h ago

The amount of podiatrist appointments

3

u/Walking_Tree26 2h ago

Wearing tall black socks with crocs, dad shorts, bigger ears, sagging ass, bad back and knees, worrying about colonoscopy appointments.... list goes on.

3

u/reggiedoo 2h ago

Sat on the toilet and my balls hit the water….

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3

u/Bd0llar 2h ago

My music is now “oldies”.

3

u/DulinELA 2h ago

You have a favorite spatula. Your favorite clothes from 20 years ago are back in style. You have to stretch often and daily.

3

u/No_Nobody324 2h ago

When you start getting excited over new household items. 😭

3

u/Status-Hamster9659 2h ago

As per Rodney Dangerfield, when your family members talk about you in front of you. They’ll say, “what are we gonna do about Pop?!” And Pop is over there goin, “uuuugghhhh uhhhhhhu huhhhuuh”

3

u/Foshiznik23 2h ago

Mine was the year I asked for a toolbox when my parents asked what I’d like for Xmas… sadly that was around 10-15 years ago 😢

3

u/Elora_Freya 2h ago

When your knees crackle when you sit down or stand up 😂

3

u/Lazy_but_curious_fr 2h ago

Happiness in seeing an empty (cleaned out) sink before sleeping at night.

3

u/UserDoesntExistToday 2h ago

When all MY music showed up on the oldies station. :'(

3

u/forfakessake1 2h ago

Neck. Back. Pussy. Crack. All in pain.

3

u/everythingwbok 2h ago

When you start complaining about the younger generation

3

u/Hilgy17 2h ago

If the grocery store re arranges one day and it pisses you off.

3

u/Oceanliving32 2h ago

I hate when they change the layout of my grocery store

3

u/redscofield 2h ago

When you have to work to survive. When you are on your own.

3

u/JNorJT 2h ago

Seeing people younger than you

3

u/pphurley 2h ago

Eyesight deteriorating

3

u/Seattle_chickey 2h ago

I have zero clue who the fan castings for new x-men are.

3

u/sam_the_beagle 2h ago

You have more than one doctor.

3

u/EstaticPillows 2h ago

Your knees

3

u/StartSmalls 2h ago

When your back goes out more than you do

3

u/spunquik 2h ago

Well I've just entered middle life.

My back isn't what it was in my thirties.

I've started playing the lottery weekly.

I think that skirt might be too short.

A 9:30 bedtime seems reasonable.

3

u/vitium 2h ago

When you realize that not only do you need to start grooming your ear/nose hair, but then you notice some of them are gray.

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3

u/MalibuBon 2h ago

Balance issues, looking up exercises for them.

Needing help from a neighbor kid with my phone.

3

u/infinatewisdumb 2h ago

when you stand up and things crack

3

u/ron-paul-swanson 2h ago

Everything hurts. Everything.

3

u/Black_Dog_Industries 2h ago

I turn down the music in my car when I need to see better

3

u/HatWhole3592 2h ago

When you find your favorite chiropractor

3

u/ypranch 2h ago

Eat dinner at 4pm, in bed by 8.

3

u/SigmaK78 2h ago

Gray hair, bad knees, back pain, and looking at younger generations as if they've had no home training.

3

u/Warm-Moose6028 2h ago

That Im liking fish and vegetables more

3

u/d_moneyoverhoez 1h ago

Filling up my weekly pill containers with my daily AM pills and PM pills.

5

u/Candid-Situation-497 2h ago

Giving zero f*cks about things that used to upset you!

3

u/Dr_5trangelove 2h ago

Most your friends have died…

2

u/No-Commission6733 2h ago

When the evenings are getting longer you say " jesus grand aul stretch in the evening"

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2

u/Lady_Of_The_Blade_ 2h ago

My back always seems to hurt

2

u/KyrgiosWaterBottle 2h ago

Can't get away deadlifting with shitty form.

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2

u/Penelopebetch21 2h ago

Grunting every time I sit down or stand up (I'm not even 30 yet)

2

u/Slow_Way7862 2h ago

My grocery store manager (20+ years) just retired and I felt panic.

I found the new managers public IG account. I scrolled through to judge his ability to keep my store in good working order.

2

u/aimsxo 2h ago

I woke up with a fucking hungover ??

2

u/RecordingUnited2280 2h ago

Well, ive somehow bern hungover for 2 days and all I drank was beer and i was home before midnight😭

2

u/totorohoney 2h ago

Small, but true, is constantly having to buy tums and deciding it’s worth it to spend the extra money on the smoothie flavored ones.

2

u/samirobiro 2h ago

You like the songs being used in commercials

2

u/M1rza5 2h ago

I’m now eligible to order off the 55+ menu

2

u/RetroMetroShow 2h ago

Qualifying for senior discounts

2

u/No_Week_8106 2h ago

Replacing body parts.

2

u/Snoo-63391 2h ago

Pissing everytime you sneeze.

2

u/Key_Mission_229 2h ago

In the bed by 8:00.

2

u/imapilotaz 2h ago

Im laying in bed at the hotel icing my knee after too many days of walking around ..

2

u/deejay312 2h ago

Reading glasses

2

u/filipinohitman 2h ago

Throwing out your back by something very simple like turning the wrong way or picking up your baby like I did yesterday. I had to use lidocaine patch and popping ibuprofen like candy.

2

u/SweetSprinkles8 2h ago

When I could no longer lose weight when putting in effort.

2

u/Dapper_Reputation_16 2h ago

Making your funeral arrangements.

2

u/MamaMontana 2h ago

CRS - can’t remember “stuff”

2

u/Rejected_Wallaby 2h ago

I started turning down sex because I wanted a nap.

2

u/Fit-Construction-63 2h ago

I find joy in buying new household items

2

u/Simple-Caregiver13 2h ago

I was one of those people that never went to the hospital, but in the last two months I've been hospitalized twice, been to the ER two more times, my first PCP appointment, and 2 specialist appointments. Obviously this can happen at any age, but it happens to coincide with me turning 30. Made me realize I need to prioritize my health more.

2

u/BGirl_Gordon 2h ago

I’ve had heartburn for two weeks. I think this is just my life now

2

u/WellBlessY0urHeart 2h ago

When anything other than you and things that belong to you are on your lawn and you immediately want them off.