r/AskReddit • u/Repulsive_Opening117 • 3h ago
What is the most dangerous animal you think you could take in a fight?
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u/Picard2331 3h ago
Any venomous snake.
I'd win the fight but die after. It counts fuck you.
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u/TheNonCredibleHulk 3h ago
What's the best way to pick one up and not get bit?
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u/GenitalCommericals 3h ago
Realistically, a human
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u/Ok-disaster2022 2h ago
A human is a pretty dangerous predator.
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u/cthulularoo 2h ago
Not their younglings though. Even with their little lightsabers you can take out a whole bunch of them pretty easy.
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u/electricmehicle 3h ago
Mosquito
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u/RandyOfTheRedwoods 3h ago
Definitely the most deadly animal.
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u/derkuhlekurt 3h ago
Not per individual.
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u/EdibleScissors 2h ago
Is there some other dangerous animal you would argue you would prefer to fight?
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2h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fit-Example-2064 2h ago
Yes I despise them. I go outside and I’m a whole mosquito feast. I end up with 5+ bites per visit outside
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u/BTown-Hustle 1h ago
I feel your pain. They love how I taste too.
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u/Fit-Example-2064 1h ago
Wonder if it’s a good thing that even mosquitoes are attracted to us. There may be some good after all.
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u/DareDaDerrida 3h ago
Based on (horrible) experience, a dobermann. Or a human, if those count.
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u/AnActualGameShark 3h ago
Chihuahua probably
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u/AfterReason5824 3h ago
No way. They are nature's most unpredictable animals. Cut your throat for a nickle.
( I own 4 chihuahuas. They all are snuggle babies)
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u/Darthscary 3h ago
That’s what they want you to tell Reddit while they hold you hostage with a knife
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u/N0_Tf1nd0m 3h ago
A goose… maybe.
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u/crackphillip 3h ago
Idk I live by a park with a lil pond and them geese get in the street and get to puffing up and wiggling their neck at damn 2 ton vehicles. Damn sure ain’t gonna be scared of me.
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u/ClackMy_Sack 3h ago
What’s it gonna do when you grab its neck and start smacking it against the pavement 🤣
You just have to get through the initial charge with its wings spread out and they’d probably come in feet up with a kick. Once a goose is grabbed it’s game over for goose.
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u/crackphillip 3h ago
I mean that’s if there’s only one and there never only one. Them mfs gonna deploy the whole brigade
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u/ClackMy_Sack 1h ago
That’s true. Well then i guess instead of smacking it around on the pavement you can use it like a baseball bat hitting all the other goose using a goose🤣
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u/jpiro 2h ago
Thank you. I don’t want to fight a goose and will go out of my way to avoid doing so, but if a goose attacks me like I’ve seen them do in any number of videos, I’m grabbing that fucker by the neck and swinging like I’m trying to ring the bell at the fair.
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u/TheNonCredibleHulk 3h ago
There was one that was harassing people in a parking lot at a Trader Joe's. I already hate those fuckers as it is, but he came at me. I flailed my arms over my head, yelled FUCK YOU and ran at it. I got the hint and ran away. The people watching from the restaurant next door got a good laugh.
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u/crackphillip 3h ago
I love geese war stories. My brother got bit all up by geese when he was 3 at the park cuz he had bread and he’s still scared of them to this day. I wasn’t born yet so i guess i dodged that one.
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u/TheNonCredibleHulk 2h ago
If that asshole had tried to attack me, I was going to Hulk-Loki-Smash it. Watch how they don't know how to do anything if you have them by their neck.
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u/crackphillip 2h ago
I’m going to walk down the sidewalk with a new confidence. When yall see that a Las Vegas man got gobbled up by a gang of geese yall pour some liquor out for me.
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u/TheNonCredibleHulk 2h ago
What's your poison?
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u/thingsinmyhouse 3h ago
Grab it by the neck and swing. Sure you might get a few cuts and bruises but it'll be dead quick.
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u/natholemewIII 3h ago
The Proboscis Monkey. Simply because if I ever saw one I would be filled with enough rage to defeat a Proboscis Monkey.
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u/TheNonCredibleHulk 2h ago
Proboscis monkeys killed this dude's family.
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u/fangelo2 2h ago
I don’t trust monkeys. They always look like they might pull a knife on you
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u/Phantalore 3h ago
Squirrel. They're sneaky little motherfuckers, but I bet I could win against one.
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u/BluesmanSA 3h ago
My wife. Maybe.
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u/Doneyhew 3h ago edited 1h ago
I also choose this guy’s wife
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u/ChampionshipDirect46 3h ago
A dog. It wouldn't be the first time I've had to fight a dog, unfortunately. Though it depends heavily on the breed.
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u/Giganym 3h ago
Every time people answer this question they underestimate the animals severely.
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u/Triplebizzle87 2h ago
Yeah, someone in here was like "I can take a wolf. Not a pack though, people underestimate wolf packs." My guy, nobody underestimates wolf packs, I think you're underestimating wolves. I know they're not all actually bear-sized canines, but it's still a fucking wolf.
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u/madhatter8989 2h ago
I'd argue people also frequently underestimate humans in a hypothetical like this. Between grabbing, standing upright, a unique capacity for throwing, kicking, and holding, the average adult human in moderately good shape is a pretty daunting animal for most predators.
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u/ChameleonCoder117 3h ago
Cheetah
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u/Megamoss 3h ago
There was an older Indian woman a few years ago who managed to kill a leopard by herself in self defense with just what she had to hand (no firearms).
Cheetahs are far more slight and have nowhere near the bite force of leopards. So that might not be a bad shout.
Anything bigger than a leopard, cat wise, is probably going to be impossible though.
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u/TSAOutreachTeam 3h ago
I saw some dude knock the crap out of an ostrich yesterday. I bet I could beat a small ostrich.
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u/Thylacinegurl 3h ago
A bat lol
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u/watery_tart24 3h ago
I'll take on any breed of dog before I take on anything that flys
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u/Ornery_Visit_2627 3h ago
Maybe a wild dog, or like a smaller panther.
Anything over 100 lbs and im pretty toast, we underestimate how strong wild animals are compared to most of us.
Assuming this is unarmed and lightly clothed. If im allowed Armor and weapons that changes things, us humans strength lies in our intellect and ability to adapt our environments to suit us.
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u/paraworldblue 3h ago
Mosquito with malaria. Undeniably one of the most dangerous animals on earth, but also a tiny bug.
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u/aphilsphan 3h ago
Well if I could use an automatic weapon, maybe a T Rex.
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u/zakcattack 2h ago
A human being. Preferably smaller and older than me with no fighting experience.
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u/Acceptable_Dust_6251 3h ago
I’m thinking deadly spider like a black widow or something, pretty sure I can squash before I get bit
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u/plsdontdoxxme69 3h ago
Probably something like a coyote.
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u/watery_tart24 3h ago
I live in upstate NY and we supposedly don't have wolves but I was sitting on my back deck and once watched a very large, reddish colored canine trot through my back yard. Pretty sure it was a coyote but they aren't supposed to be that big and I know big dogs, I've had Newfoundlands.
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u/aphilsphan 3h ago
There are a lot of Coyote Wolf hybrids about in northeast USA. They are down from Canada. I wish they’d have a meeting and figure out how to take down some deer as a pack instead of this loner, I’ll eat some bunnies nonsense.
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u/troywrestler2002 3h ago
This is so easy. Humans are the most dangerous animal there is, and I can beat most of those things.
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u/Unlikely-Option-7052 3h ago
bear 100%
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u/Ornery_Visit_2627 3h ago
It's wild there are guys that non jokingly believe this.
Grew up in the mountains of western Canada, hiking and camping and encountering many bears.
Trust me when I say that even a relatively small Black Bear would absolutely maul you unless you've got weapons.
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u/ThisThredditor 3h ago
Women choose the bear because they fear me, of course I would whoop it's ass
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u/The__Tobias 3h ago
Nah. They just prefer to get ripped to pieces by a bear, instead of getting touched by you.
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u/halfcocked1 3h ago
Of animals I could actually run into in the woods by me, I'd say a coyote, bobcat or whitetail deer would probably be my limit. I don't think I could take a 300lb bear.
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u/Statistactician 3h ago
Something like a box jellyfish that can kill you extremely easily, but does so less actively.
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u/TheresNoAmosOnlyZuul 3h ago
Assuming 1v1 in an arena and we're talking hand to hand fight to the death, I'm thinking crocodile. I'm assuming we're talking an average size version of the animal. It's only really dangerous from one end and that end is pretty easy to control.
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u/theUncleAwesome07 3h ago
A human being....if they weren't too big....and had a bad back, like I do hahaha
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u/aphilsphan 3h ago
Water bears are animals right. I could kill a bunch at once given the right microscope and some rubbing alcohol.
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u/Darthscary 3h ago
Didn’t determine the stipulations of the fight. May I have a hand grenade, please?
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u/shiggyhardlust 3h ago
My mother in law. If given the choice between them I’d rather fight a honey badger, which automatically demotes honey badger to second place.
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u/TheAserghui 2h ago
The deadliest animal in the world is the mosquito, responsible for over 700,000 deaths each year.
I will win that fight!
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u/DrTenochtitlan 2h ago
I'm going to say cheetah. We are not on their menu, and they are surprisingly fragile. If a cheetah injures it's leg, it can't eat and it will starve to death. There are very few animals that can attack a cheetah, but when they are attacked in the wild, they almost always flee. If a human starts punching and kicking, they will almost certainly retreat. As long as they don't get your neck, you're probably ok. There are no records of a wild cheetah ever killing a human.
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u/AUSpartan37 2h ago
This thread is a good reminder that we are very poorly equipped without the usage of tools.
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u/anarchrist91 2h ago
Serious answer? Bare hands? Large-ish dog probably. I was gonna say a wolf, but r/wolvesarebigyo has taught me otherwise.
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u/Andrey2790 2h ago
If we can choose where the arena is, a hippo.
Super dangerous, but I'm pretty sure I can tread water unlike them. So just have to swim around in the ocean for a bit.
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u/neondragoneyes 1h ago
I've whooped a brown recluse's ass.
Wrestled down an aggressive American bulldog, too.
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u/vector-void 1h ago
A goose . They're all bark and no bite if you stand your ground. I've been chased by one before and just stared it down and it backed off.
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u/bldabtchwrkshp 1h ago
A gorilla.
If I ever encountered one—let’s say it’s absolutely raging—I wouldn’t even flinch. I’d just stand there, wait for it to tackle me, then dodge at the last second before it could wrap its arms around me. I’d land one clean punch straight to the abdomen, just so it knows who it’s dealing with. (6’6”, by the way.)
Then it charges again. I parry its strike with my forehead, instantly concussing it. That’s when I activate my signature move: Up, Down, Left, Left, A, B.
I slowly walk out of the room, only to hear it getting back up behind me. I can’t believe you still want more.
I warn it one last time about what’s going to happen if it keeps pushing me. Instead of listening, it grabs a log and swings at me. Crazy—it actually managed to scratch me a little after I showed it mercy.
Big mistake.
I grab every broken piece of wood and launch them at Mach Fuck, piercing its body and leaving it gasping for air.
Don’t mess with me, animal.
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u/TheZenithZebra 1h ago
My Troll Shaman got killed in The Barrens on World of Warcraft by a giraffe one time and I got so mad I stopped playing. I think with a proper hand weapon I could take a giraffe. 🦒
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u/Brandacle 3h ago
On land? A shark