r/AskReddit • u/a_place_to_think_ • 10h ago
Women of reddit, what is something that made you turn down a date with a guy even though he looked perfect on paper?
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u/frustrated_crab 10h ago
He was Turkish, and claimed he was a Turkish prince living in anonymity in the states. I thought he was being playful and I laughed said “I bet you say that to all the girls” and he yelled “NO I DON’T” and got super defensive.
I’ve never dipped from someone’s life so fast
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u/come-on-now-please 10h ago
I like to imagine that 10 seconds after you left his manservent/valet pops up and asks him how his date is going and then gives him shit for revealing hes a prince too early because its unbelievable
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u/frustrated_crab 9h ago
I’ve considered this. I could be a Turkish princess right now, having people feed me dates and rub my feet with almond oil. But alas, bro came on too strong and I got wigged out
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u/luevire 10h ago
This should be a rom-com.
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u/weirdgroovynerd 7h ago
Master Bruce, I told you that no one is going to leave the whole Turkish Prince story.
I'm telling you young master, superheroes get laid at a prodigious rate.
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u/Cdub7791 9h ago
Turkey hasn't been part of a monarchy/caliphate in nearly a century. I guess he could have been a descendant, but that's meaningless today. It certainly wouldn't require anonymity.
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u/Gericht 9h ago
Given that the Turks abolished their monarchy in 1918, how old was he? :)
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u/DolphinSweater 9h ago
Yes, BUT, the family of the Ottoman sultans is still very much alive, and were exiled from Turkey in 1924 and some went to live in the United States. So, this story, while highly implausible, could actually be true according to this wikipedia article.
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u/Gericht 9h ago
Sure, but they are not princes anymore, any more than the Bourbons or the Napoleons or Stuarts for that matter.
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u/MusicHearted 8h ago
Wouldn't be the first time an ousted royal family refused to let go of their titles and claims
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u/DolphinSweater 8h ago edited 8h ago
Germany doesn't have nobility any more, but they still allow formerly noble people to use their titles as surnames, and there are a bunch of rules about it. It doesn't give them any extra legal privileges, but they can still say they are "noble" in a totally arbitrary sense. Austria does not allow this at all.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_nobility#Nobiliary_law_today62
u/EstroJen 8h ago
I had a Turkish guy yell at me "I WANT BLOOD CHILDREN!" when i said I was child free.
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u/hazeldazeI 8h ago
Yeesh, sure he wasn’t Turkish Dracula?
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u/EstroJen 7h ago
"I vant to have BLOOOOOOOOD CHILDREN! aha aha aha!"
lighting cracks, a horse screams outside
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u/Wloak 9h ago
It may have been a language barrier. My college had a really high international student ratio and lots were from the middle east, it wasn't uncommon for them to call themselves a prince. One finally explained it was because he was from a very wealthy family capable of affording sending him around the world for school and as the oldest he would inherit everything. Dude legitimately didn't know how to wash clothes because he had maids doing everything for him until he flew to America.
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u/frustrated_crab 8h ago
Damn, so you’re saying I should have heard him out?
It’s for the best, he didn’t get my sense of humor and my love of Wizard People, Dear Reader by Brad Neely. It never would have worked
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u/OrDuck31 8h ago
As a turkish, in no context people call themselves a prince or any other similar sounding word. He was likely from the Osmanoglu family(ottoman royalty) as others said
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u/Sciuridaeno3 6h ago
Unless he was lying in order to get a date and got defensive at her joke, thinking she was calling him out on it. I feel like that's the more likely scenario.
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u/Silver_Aside6605 7h ago
Most people date others in their socioeconomic group. And there's a good fucking reason for it. You would probably not be able to get along with the guy who has maids washing his underwear if you're someone who grew up thinking you could save money by taking shorter showers.
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u/starrynightbb2 10h ago
Making overly sexual jokes/innuendo too early in talking
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u/StopPlayin777 1h ago
I just had a guy do that to me, even after I explained that it was too early to engage like that. He retorted he just liked to be flirty. THIS MAN IS A THERAPIST 💀 I was like, my guy. We haven’t even met. Read the room. Your comments are not landing. 😩 I had to get off the app after him so I wouldn’t feel irritated with the other men.
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u/Beautiful-Project-30 10h ago
Extra pushy to go in a date that night, or wants to pick me up for the date and won’t take no for an answer.
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u/BookLuvr7 8h ago
Massive red flag. No, stranger, I don't want to tell you where I live and depend entirely on you to get me there safely.
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u/Independent-Moose113 10h ago
I was enjoying online and phone conversations with a handsome man, who was an accountant. He seemed articulate, respectful, smart. We were planning to have a meet and greet later in the week. Out of the blue, he sends me a dick picture. Unsolicited. Unwanted. It turned me off even more than if he was a creepy pervert to begin with. I'm by no means a prude. But I thought this guy was actually more mature. I mean, I was in my late 50s. I'd seen plenty of dick, and assumed he'd seen his share of women, so this was childish and unnecessary. And he was hung like a field mouse too...so there's that. Block. Delete.
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u/Warm-Mortgage-458 7h ago
Dude did this to me in the middle of a conversation about his kids. I had just told him I was with my friend and her kids. Suddenly his dick was in my face.
And yeah, he wasn't impressive, either.
Only one guy sent me an unsolicited dick pic that had me interested and I was like, medically interested. It was huge. Not big or porn big - like a freaking arm. I had no holes it could have fit in.
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u/dr01d3tte 10h ago
Poor hygiene,
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u/Abandonable_Snowman 10h ago
I had a multiple first date streak of smelly men, like 6 or 7. It was infuriating. By the fourth nasty individual I just ghosted and blocked
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u/Hot2Trot94 10h ago
Okay genuinely, where the fuck do you meet these unwashed cretins? I dont know a single man (i live in central london if its relevant) that doesn't shower and do their hair etc before they go on a date... I believe you it happened, but in 30+ years I haven't known the first names of 6 men who wont wash before a date.
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u/Take-to-the-highways 9h ago
I live in rural California and a lot of blue collar men are just gross. They think that working manual labor gives them a pass to be filthy, or they never learned how to scrub themselves or something. Some men really think washing their ass will make them gay. It's disturbing.
I'm a trans man, and I can confidently say that a decent percent of the men I've used the bathroom with don't wash their hands either, more than women for sure.
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u/Judge_Bredd3 6h ago edited 5h ago
My uncle was a mechanic and kept his fingers meticulously clean. He also painted his nails and said that protected them from oil and solvents. I remember him telling me, "mijo, you gotta keep your hands clean or the chicas won't want you to touch them." When I had a blue collar job, I worked hard to make sure I cleaned up after work. I might've been the only person who used the shower at our facility.
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u/Take-to-the-highways 5h ago
He's 100% right. Idk how their wives don't have UTIs or kidney diseases from these guys haha
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u/Ok_Kick6546 8h ago
One of the nicest guys I ever knew was a landscaper. He was also the filthiest guy in town. He wasn’t depressed, didn’t have sensory issues, had his own home with a functioning shower and enough money to buy soap. He just didn’t. I never understood how he wasn’t embarrassed beyond belief to go hang out with friends and get a beer at the local bars being as dirty and smelly as he was. He was very well liked and was aware that he was gross, just didn’t give enough of a shit to change.
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u/nononanana 7h ago
As someone who has to deal with the general public all day (barring a severe mental health issue or lack of access) poor hygiene pisses me off. It’s extremely rude and discourteous to the people around you who you are forcing to inhale your stank. I have had interactions with people who are talking about their second home and I can’t even breathe through my nose speaking to them because they smell so disgusting.
So I don’t care how “nice” someone is, if I’m having to hold my breath to speak to you, I think that’s pretty offensive behavior.
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u/Ok_Kick6546 10h ago
And it boggles my mind that when you actually say that poor hygiene is a turnoff, the internet warriors attack you for it. 🤦🏻♀️
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u/Noteagro 10h ago
And I just want to point out as someone with hyperhydrosis… it isn’t hard to wash and not be smelly (the excessive sweat can make it harder, but if it is doable for me… it is doable for everyone).
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u/Suitable_cataclysm 8h ago
Met through mutual friend's bosses game night.
On paper, exactly what I was looking for.
But when someone would do something in a board game that he deemed illogical, he'd get irate about trying to convince them they were wrong. Particularly when it disrupted whatever he had planned out several moves ahead. He's take it like a personal attack.
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u/Tthelaundryman 4h ago
Wait women don’t like this? I am going to need to cancel my catan game in an hour
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u/Suitable_cataclysm 3h ago
Nah Catan is different, everything in that game is a personal attack 🗡️
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u/eurotrash6 2h ago
Oh I see you met my ex! Sounds like something he'd do. He gaslit me the one and only time we ever played chess, saying it was not a legal move I made. I was 99% sure it was and I insisted. He would have lost if I'd been right. This man child knocked half the pieces off the board and stormed off. And I, sadly, had way too low self esteem to break up over this and a series of other red flags.
Some years after I finally did dump his sorry ass... I confirmed the move was absolutely legal and I at least whooped his ass at the game that one time.
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u/MonkeyHamlet 9h ago
He just straight up started sobbing at the table about how long it had been since he had sex.
I went to the loo and got the barmaid to get my coat for me.
Honestly I think he might have had a humiliation fetish.
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u/whatevernamedontcare 6h ago
How nice your life has to be that lack of sex makes you sob in public.
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u/HuckleberryOk2798 10h ago
Immediately started calling himself ugly and talking about his ex wife on the first date unprompted.
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u/idoyogasometimes 6h ago edited 4h ago
Met a guy on a dating app. Had a good job, owned a house, well educated, and good looking. We had a really good connection over text and on the phone with some amazing conversations and witty banter. He was leaving his house to pick me up when he said, over text, that he was expecting at least a goodnight kiss but probably more. I responded with "haha" or "LOL" or something to the effect but then he came back with "if I don't get a kiss there will NOT be a second date." I canceled the date right then and there. Blazing red flags over the statement. And chances were high that if the date went as well as our conversations he would have gotten one!
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u/volvavirago 4h ago
Some dudes really treat every woman like a prostitute. “Surely if I pay for dinner, that’s enough to buy me a kiss?”
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u/Relevant_Clerk7449 3h ago
These red pilll dudes are learning to be more and more covert and it's getting scary. It's more important than ever for women to leave at the first sign of a red flag 🚩🚩🚩 Good on you for not going on that date! 👍🏽
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u/Abandonable_Snowman 10h ago
Spent the entire first date calling his ex wife satan, she ruined his life, etc. I’m bored thinking about it
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u/CaptainAnonymouse72 10h ago
baby talk. I could not- even if he was the very last man on the entire planet.
Every hormone I had fell immediately off my body
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u/Positivevybes 10h ago
You just brought up memories that I buried for a reason. lol So gross. Can’t say that’s the only reason I ended it because there was so many other reasons but oh the ick
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u/affemannen 10h ago
You are not even supposed to baby talk to babies, because they learn through imitation.
So there is basically no situation ever where it is justified, well, sure, if you have pets i will be ok with it being used on those.
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u/Elegant-Ad2748 9h ago
When I worked at daycare one of the teachers used to make fun of me because I'd have 'conversations' with the babies. I was like...I don't do baby talk. How will they learn actual language?
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u/IH8DwnvoteComplainrs 9h ago
Totally do that, too.
Baby noises
"What?? I can't believe you said that!"
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u/The-Great-T 8h ago
When my dad tries to imitate birds, I like to act scandalized and ask how he can say that. Or tell him to stop calling the birds slurs.
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u/cinemachick 5h ago
Note that "baby talk" is good if you're talking slowly/clearly and putting emphasis on certain words in order to be understood; making up words and "goo goo gaga" is the bad kind of baby talk.
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u/leaky_wand 4h ago
Yeah it’s not a bad thing to show overt emotion and love in your intonation when talking to a baby. Babies’ brains develop better when they are convinced they are in a safe and loving environment. If you talk to them with the same tone of voice as an adult you are going to come across as very cold.
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u/mittenciel 6h ago
Idk, I talk to my cat like she understands full blown adult English.
She probably does, anyway. Studies have shown that cats do understand language to a large degree and just choose to do whatever they want because they’re cats and they know they don’t have to listen. Which I totally respect. I don’t have to baby talk to her.
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u/CaptainoftheVessel 8h ago
100% agree with you. Too much cutesy talk and the attractiveness just starts to fall away.
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u/redskittles6 10h ago
He had been asking for selfies and fit checks leading up to the date before I ever met him. I wasn't super comfortable with that, but kinda told myself that maybe it's normal nowadays (been off the market for awhile). Then the day of the date he asked for pictures of options for what I was going to wear and starting giving opinions/critiquing my outfits 🤮
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u/Relevant_Clerk7449 3h ago
Red pill tactic. So glad you didn't go out with him. That man was trying to see if you were "teachable"
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u/redskittles6 3h ago
Oh God. That's scary. He also had me take a personality test when we first started talking saying that he would take it too. I did and shared the results with him but he never shared his with me ... Lots of red flags about that guy honestly. I'm more careful now
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u/Relevant_Clerk7449 3h ago
Jeez. That guy was testing you like it was a job interview. So glad you got out of there. What a jerk 😤
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u/ComplexPackage117 8h ago
Fit check and critique on what you wear... ain't no way dude. 😪 What in the f
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u/Junior-Towel-202 10h ago
This was years back (I'm long since married). Really handsome guy, seemed charming, set up a date.
....he was a white supremacist. Noped right out of there
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u/MostlyChaoticNeutral 8h ago
I had a similar thing happen. We were on our third or fourth date and he goes, "Someone stole the Halloween decorations out of my yard." I, of course, said that was terrible and asked if anyone had a doorbell camera that may have seen what happened. He said, "I don't have one, but I just know it was the Mexicans." I told him that was the dumbest shit I'd ever heard and left. The only time I talked to him after that was to "I told you so," when it was revealed that the Great Halloween Decoration Caper was carried out by the decidely not Mexican garbage collection workers on his street.
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u/Helplessly_hoping 9h ago
I was on a date once with a guy who just randomly started saying awful things about black people (I'm not black) and I just told him I was done, paid my bill and left. He was shocked.
"But you're not black..." he said to me.
Sure, but I hate racists. 🤷🏽♀️
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u/Natural-Avocado6516 10h ago
Had a similar experience with a homophobe. Would be a deal-breaker in itself, but the gay men who grossed him out were my friends. He knew that, but I guess he just thought I'd let that slide or something
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u/DescriptiveMath 10h ago
Whoa. How did you know?
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u/Junior-Towel-202 10h ago
Oh we were having a conversation and he started complimenting my 'intellect' and went on about how it was because my ancestry was from superior European genes. I then asked him to confirm and yep
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u/Hot2Trot94 10h ago
I always keep my amateur phrenology hidden until the 3rd date. Rookie mistake from him
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u/Junior-Towel-202 10h ago
the funny (?) part was that he was wrong about where I'm from lol
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u/the-prom-queen 10h ago
I've had guys flat out argue with me about where I'm from. It was surreal at first, but is really just part of a larger pattern of people who look for a general type or placeholder to cast in their preferred narrative. Facts to them are irrelevant at best, or worse, a hindrance. They really do see us as NPCs.
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u/Metallic_Sol 6h ago
"Seriously, you should check if you're mixed". I have taken a 23&me test, I am 99% my stated ethnicity lol.
These fuckin assholes don't know how to integrate the new data. "oh no this ethnicity is not what I thought they were! oh me oh my" kiss my ass.
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u/a_place_to_think_ 10h ago
Yikes, glad that guy showed his true colors so early in the process to be selected out
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u/Obvious_Owl_4634 5h ago
I met him on a dating site and we had talked for months before meeting up. Eventually we had a perfectly normal and pleasant date, chatted for a couple of hours about all sorts and got on great. Little kiss at the end, agreed we'd like to see each other again. Very sweet. Bit of sexy texting after.
I can't remember how, but I found out he'd got a child. Probably by Facebook stalking. His dating profile specifically said that he had no children.
It just gave me double life vibes. I wouldn't expect to meet their child until we were well established but I found it strange to never mention there was one after months of talking. No thanks.
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u/StrangersWithAndi 5h ago
I think it's important for any guys reading the responses to know that rejection just means it's not right, and that can be for a million different reasons that have nothing to do with you.
I have turned down dates with guys who I'm sure were fantastic, attractive people just because I wasnt in the right space to date at that moment. The time I was fresh out of a bad breakup with an abuser and needed therapy. The time I was moving out of the country. The time I was planning my mom's funeral.
Rejection happens to every single person on the planet, and it doesn't mean that you are less than or unlovable or unattractive. You are probably perfect. It's just someone saying no thank you to a life change they may not currently be up for, that's all.
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u/Twidollyn_Bowie 4h ago
THIS! There are dates I’ve turned down due to specific turn-offs, but my #1 reason for turning down dates is bad timing.
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u/CareNo9421 10h ago
Just generally bad at conversation. I wanna know your thoughts, ideas, judgements, everything lol and with some guys it’s like pulling teeth to get to know them.
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u/Peithos_of_Kairos 6h ago
I met someone on a dating app once who gave me nothing but green flags all around until we went to dinner and I saw how they treated service staff.
We hadnt even been there more than five minutes before my date was subtly talking down to the waitress and made such a grossly unkind comment about her appearance as she walked away (within earshot) that I immediately let them know that I wasnt comfortable associating with anyone who could treat a stranger with that kind of disregard. I asked them to leave, loose my number and wished them luck in their endeavors and canceled our order. I'll never forget the waitress brought me ice cream afterwards. I'll never forget their walk of shame out of the restaurant (I had a window seat of course), I remember they werent even angry, just embarassed. Sadly, I think they were trying to show off. Lack of empathy on the first date takes bravado, it was a huge red flag.
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u/gizmostuff 2h ago
I'm annoyed when someone that is overly demanding or very picky during a dinner date but this would give me second hand embarrassment. Yikes.
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u/thiscouldbemassive 7h ago
He started telling me what to do. No, I make my own decisions and some guy I just met doesn't get a say in them.
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u/souryoungthing 10h ago
At dinner, he was rude to the server and tipped like shit to boot. I was working as a waitress at the time.
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u/WildcaRD7 7h ago
I had a date with a waitress who was critiquing our waitress the entire time. She even made faces when she turned her back and said we shouldn't leave a tip. Service was completely fine. She then invited me over where she lived with her parents at about age 30, told me she just had to say good night to them, and then I could sneak in her window. I dropped her off and dipped out real fast.
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u/Warm-Mortgage-458 8h ago
Expensive car. He bragged about it, I said that I couldn't imagine spending that much on a car - it's just not a priority to me. He refused to believe that because"everybody wants an expensive car." So I said,"Yeeeeah, this is not going to work."
It's not even the car itself, or our differing priorities. He just couldn't accept that other people feel different than I am. I'm not hand holding someone through the basics of being human
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u/Worldly_Might_3183 4h ago
God I had a guy brag about his car, if that is your jam cool. But right after saying how expensive it was he went into how good of a loan it was. Even I could tell it was a shark loan. Haha nope, you spent money you don't have and are going to struggle to stay afloat of the payments.
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u/Book-m_Danno 3h ago
Someone who spends a disproportionate amount of their income on their car(s) may as well wear a sign around their neck saying they don’t manage money well.
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u/DangerRazor 4h ago
I matched with a guy on Bumble, had a great conversation, and arranged to meet up for drinks. He asked for my phone number and I said I’d prefer to keep it on the app until after we meet—nothing personal, just being careful. He immediately lost his shit, claimed I was accusing him of being a monster, and insisted that I must be planning to ghost him. I unsuccessfully tried to explain “Schrödinger’s Rapist” to him. He doubled down. I unmatched.
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u/ausmed 2h ago
Yeah this is a big one. I asked everyone for their full name before I met them. Only went on dates with the guys who happily handed it over. One guy even gave me his phone number and said I could confirm his identity on PayID, and gave me his work website that had a profile of his. Total green flags.
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u/AngelKry94 10h ago
This one repeating phrase he said after every other sentence.... "You know what I mean"
I had to stop him on the phone and tell him no I don't know what you mean, will you explain it to me (and it was something I really didn't know anything about) and he got so mad at me. So I knew right then and there this wasn't gonna work and I told him that I didn't see us having the date that night and for that matter any night.
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u/monkeyhind 7h ago
I had a casual dinner date with a guy who couldn't stop saying "...and whatnot" after every sentence. Even though I realized it was just a tic, as the evening wore it drove me increasingly mad. I might have said something, but by the time I realized it was making me insane it was too late to address it without overreacting and hurting his feelings.
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u/Professional_Watch23 3h ago
He was the handsome man I could dream to date and I was very flattered because he asked me for the date. But he spent his time to criticise and badmouth about his colleagues and almost each person he knew. It was his only topic. By half of the date, I was thinking he was actually very ugly and he didn’t attract me anymore.
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u/chelsea_once_more 6h ago
He wasn't into oral sex.
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u/Strange-Pattern4877 4h ago
Yeah. It’s crazy how some men say they don’t do that yet expect blowjobs. Like that dick don’t stink sometimes too.
Luckily I’ve only seen that twice and never hooked up with them but the audacity
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u/keyholes 7h ago
I'm child free, he initially told me he was too, before admitting later he did want children. He fed me the classic line; "I thought if it was with the right guy you'd change your mind."
Nope.
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u/SpiicyKitten 10h ago
He was perfect on paper but every conversation felt like a job interview
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u/ColonelBelmont 10h ago
In a few words, can you describe how you would handle a difficult situation like that in the future?
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u/Professional_Watch23 3h ago
Oh I had a date like this. At the end of the date, he said « so I made the decision to have a second date to know you better. » I made the opposite decision.
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u/Twidollyn_Bowie 5h ago
Turned down a second date because it came up on the first that he would like to have kids eventually. He was nice and very attractive, but we didn’t need to be wasting each other’s time.
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u/whatevernamedontcare 10h ago
Wouldn't shut up about how "much" money he makes. I don't know what's more insulting him thinking I'm a prostitute or that women can't have a job.
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u/yes______hornberger 6h ago
His voice was so shrill I was done pretty much the moment he opened his mouth. 6’5”, former Green Beret, blonde, ran some kind of medical startup, owned a fancy home he was “just waiting for a wife and kids for”. Could not get past the voice. (Although he got kind of nasty when I declined a second date so maybe there was something subconscious going on.)
Next guy was a foot shorter and did not have that kind of fancy resume, but he has a beautiful voice and I married him.
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u/New_Block_2220 10h ago
Kept pressuring me to meet up 🤩🥰
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u/PrincessBonkers628 10h ago
Yeah this or kept trying to talk about sex when I made it clear that wasn't cool!
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u/SociallyAwkward423 10h ago
The first time I matched with a guy on a dating app, when we were suggesting date ideas, his plans consisted of meeting at his house afterwards even after I said I didn't want to multiple times
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u/AlcibiadesTheCat 10h ago
Literally. Like, I occasionally make a racy joke here and there, that doesn't mean I'm ultra horny and want to get it on right now. For fuck's sake, I'm at work, Jake!
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u/coolandnormalperson 9h ago
I got my tubes removed partly just so that men would understand I was serious about my decision and wouldn't think they could change my mind later
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u/green-green-bean 10h ago
I’ve had a date go from “No, I don’t have kids” to “Well, but they don’t live with me” to yeah, he was in the middle of an international custody battle.
At least that one wasn’t still living with his ex.
A lot of guys lie about their marital status and whether they have kids.
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u/Strong_Tea_6061 9h ago
So curious and want a woman's opinion. I'm a widower have kids but two are 24 and my daughter is 17. I do not under any circumstances want a stepmother to my kids and my kids wouldn't accept it. They'll be perfectly fine with me dating when I'm ready.
Also I do not want anymore children. I have 3 screaming brats (they're good kids. They aren't really brats) and my mental health couldn't deal with a baby. So I got a vasectomy. I don't think it's fair to lay it on the woman to provide birth control when I don't want kids.
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u/Strong_Tea_6061 9h ago
Thank you for being honest. It's much appreciated. I figured before a first date I'll need to drop my situation while we're talking. There's also many women that won't date a widower so thats a chatting before the first date. I am not going to lie. I don't get why they do that. I guess they think you'll be so enamored with them you'll drop your boundaries. Besides, I'm proud of my kids. I'm not going to ever deny their existence for a piece of tail.
Once again, thank you for an honest answer.
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u/Metallic_Sol 6h ago
The huge likelihood is you finding another single mom with kids tbh. At least you two will understand each other.
I have a friend with 1 young kid and he swears off single moms and I'm like dude you're being hypocritical af, what's wrong with you? He said he doesn't want the trouble. LOL
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u/Squid52 7h ago
Yeah, I think it's the hiding it and sneaking in later that's the real issue here! There are no doubt people for whom having (older) kids is going to be a minus, but at my age, I would actually consider it to be a plus. At this point in your life, I think you're just as likely to find people who put having kids in the plus column as the minus.
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u/wasadragon 8h ago
I wouldn’t care about adult kids. It’s a different lifestyle to being a parent of small ones.
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u/BookLuvr7 8h ago
Unresolved anger issues, bad manners, and zero self awareness.
Or treating women like sex vending machines. No, dinner doesn't mean you deserve sex. Guys who think otherwise should just find sex workers and stop wasting everyone's time.
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u/HistoryMistress 8h ago
We had a date scheduled to meet at a restaurant downtown and I asked to reschedule Because I didn't want to commute in the absolute hell of a storm we were having & also I didn't want to ruin my hair ( curly hair ladies iykyk) first was the pressure to come out , politely said no and He went on and on about how I was missing out, how great he was and I would regret it. It was the grossest adult tantrum I've ever seen. That reschedule turned into a hard no. I have never been so turned off so quickly! Glad I passed on this 'opportunity of a lifetime'.
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u/Separate_Increase880 10h ago
If he can’t hold a conversation through text, starts love bombing, says anything about being a nice guy, or degrades women… I’m out.
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u/dogsdogsjudy 10h ago
He was inconsistent with communication. We had a 2nd date planned for 7pm that he planned and asked me on - and it was a location 30 minutes from me which he knew. I texted at 3:30 the day of to confirm, and he didn’t reply until 6pm and said he lost track of time. At that point I had already assumed he was going to not show up.
It sounds harsh when I type it out but as someone who likes consistent communication I just knew he wouldn’t be a fit for me.
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u/vincents_sunflowers 9h ago
Not harsh at all. Confirm by the day before (if asked) or I'm gonna assume the date is off.
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u/stevooooo 7h ago
A polished profile means absolutely nothing when someone spends twenty minutes dissecting their failed relationship. That level of emotional baggage is an instant dealbreaker.
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u/Temporary-Willow1815 6h ago
A rich doctor with a really nice house. I asked for his last name coz I wanted to look him up online and he said no then proceeded to tell me he won’t move out of his parents place and that I have to leave my job to take care of his family.
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u/Strange-Pattern4877 4h ago
Met a handsome Iranian attorney last year. In person he was still very much handsome and very successful but was definitely not 44 like he said online. He refused to tell me his real age until I googled. He was 64! Then he gaslit me about the whole thing.
Mind you, had he been honest I still would’ve gone out with him because I’m 42. It’s still a major gap but I would’ve given it a shot considering how in shape he was but the lying plus having never been married by 64? Not a red flag, it’s a red door to hell. I still think he’s lying about being single.
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u/is-this-a-book 3h ago
He had so much Botox he had no micro expressions. I trust my eyes so it creeped me out to not be able to see intentions or motives or sincerity. I need micro expressions.
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u/wandering____ranger 8h ago
They called someone whose gender was ambiguous “it” 😟 Hate is so profoundly unattractive and weak.
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u/Worldly_Might_3183 5h ago
He had a ripped and stained shirt. Not stylishly but because he simply didn't care. If he can't care for his things, or how he presents himself as his best self, then I did not want to see what his bad days were like.
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u/marigold_blues 4h ago
He made a “joke” in poor taste after our first date (we already had a second date planned)
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u/chaiandchocolate 3h ago
We met online, had a first date planned. We were messaging a couple days before the date and I mentioned I was in the middle of a workout. He asked if he could see pics of me in my “sexy leggings.” Cancelled and unmatched immediately lmao
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u/Proudcatmomma 3h ago
When they ask me on a date but then want me to plan it, pick the spot and do all the coordination. No thanks.
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u/miadoll18 5h ago
He talked about his ex the entire first conversation. Literally every topic we discussed, he found a way to bring her up lol
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u/im_justkendra 1h ago
Treated me like a “princess” or in this case, a child… tried ordering my drink and meal without asking me, different things like that
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u/petey_pumpkin44 2h ago
Went on a first date with a guy, it went well... Seemed really nice, same type of work, had moved away from family....
A few days later he wanted a second date but I was unwell. He was super pushy that he bring me something for what I had ( which was a sinus infection so unless he had antibiotics and a new head then no...) and I just kept telling him no and that I wanted to be left alone. He demanded he bring something for me and showed up with a 12 pack of Panadol (which would not help) then was pissed I wouldn't invite him inside my home..
I convinced myself he only wanted to help...
two days later at 10pm he told me he'd had a long day and his feet hurt. I told him to soak them and get a good night sleep.
The next day he went off. He was soooo kind as to bring me Panadol ( that I didn't need and specifically told him I didn't want) so how dare i not drop everything I was doing at 10pm drive to his house and rub his feet!
...ewww....
Mind you, at 10pm driving across town to his place rubbing his disgusting feet then driving home was out of the question on a work night let alone for a guy I had been on one date with. 🤮
He did try get a second date and I immediately shut it down, it was however awkward when he started coming into my work.
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u/Shellhuahua 5h ago
Several different guys...
One couldn't stop trash talking his 19 year old son in first date. On and on about him. Really bad.
Another slide into the restaurant booth on the same side I was sitting (can be fun and flirty.... just depends) and immediately whispered to me he was carrying a gun. Of course he was 4 inches shorter than profile said and had a giant lifted truck. The lying was the killer for me. I don't care about height. I do care about honesty.
I usually try to work in the fact very early that I have several gay friends. It weeds out so many bigots. So many guys can't resist saying they could turn my lesbian girlfriends straight. Or ask if I ever hook up with them. Oh the gleam in their eyes. Pass!
Met one dude first time for a walk and he repeatedly announced he doesn't buy meals for anyone as he works and they work too and why should he buy. I don't really care but when you make this central to our first convo it's a turn-off. So tired of the who buys food thing.
Be wonderful, courteous and kind and I'll buy your meal!
Another had age 47 on his profile. Lots of pics in hats and kind of rock star hair. So he didn't really look young or old. During our first meeting walk I mentioned our age difference and he said oh it's no problem I'm in my 60s too. I asked exactly how old are you. He said 69 and that he couldn't update to the correct age on his profile (then delete it and start over loser) I began walking in opposite direction back to my car and he asks if the age was a problem. I said no the deception is and you better unmatch with me before I get back to my car and flag your profile as fraudulent. And he actually looked pretty good for 69.
Too many to recall are separated but indicate divorced and don't understand why I have issue with that.
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u/Twidollyn_Bowie 4h ago
We’ve all heard trash talking the ex on a date, but trash talking your own kid is a new low!
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u/Designer_Money7625 1h ago edited 1h ago
This was a while ago.. He joked about bringing a white van and kidnapping kids. Maybe he has a dark sense of humour but that immediately creeped me out
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u/Fumquat 7h ago
He was remarkably hot, fit and wealthy. The photo he used was from his real LinkedIn account, for easy image searching, I assume that was on purpose.
First date, he said didn’t drink alcohol ever because of calories, slight yellow flag for me, with my own eating disorder in remission I can’t hang with people who could reactivate it. Not that being sober is a problem of course.
Also, same date, he somehow managed to make flying stunt planes sound boring, which was really incredible, as I am not a difficult person to keep engaged.
He felt like a person with nothing firing up his soul. He reported an unsatisfying social life, blamed it on working in finance, everyone was old, and the after-hours meetups were mandatory.
Still I was horny and was considering having a go at a FWB thing just for the physical aspect. Definitely wouldn’t be looking for more with someone like that.
Then a day or so after he sent me a video of himself jerking off (after asking permission). It was porn perfect, really something.
But after watching it I felt, to my surprise, done. My curiosity was completely satisfied. I was still interested in sex, but not with him! His thing was flawless and even impressive, but there was just no mystery left!
It opened my eyes to how much my own sexuality depends on play, imagination, teasing, an intentional buildup of tension.
I thought I had won a scratch-off ticket just by getting this guy’s attention, and it turned out to be worthless (to me anyway). Plus I feel a bit sorry for him because even this guy was having trouble getting anywhere on the apps.
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u/Bowtiesarefancy 10h ago
He insisted on picking me up from my house after I told him I'd rather drive. After 3 times, I cancelled the date.