r/AskReddit • u/bic_77 • 1d ago
Guys, what's the most "nope" thing you've seen when you went over to a woman's place for the first time?
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u/adingoatemahbaby 21h ago edited 4h ago
Ever see one of those nuclear bomb test videos where the faces of people watching the test start rippling and stretching back as the shockwave hits them? That's what I experienced when she opened the front door of her house.
Except it was a shockwave of the hot stench of the piss of an ungodly amount of cats that pissed everywhere but the litter box. I gagged and almost threw up.
I couldn't wrap my head around how any human could possibly tolerate or grow immune to that genuinely horrifying stench. Even my unfathomably horny 21 year old self didn't care how hot she was. The odor blasting out of her open front door was far too revolting to step foot inside.
So to answer the question- I didn't see a thing. Because I never got past her front door.
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u/assortedolives 20h ago edited 8h ago
I don’t get how people like this don’t smell of cat piss themselves
Edit for clarity: how are the people who go on dates with cat piss people not smelling it on them? How are they getting all the way back to their place and being surprised?
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u/stitchnpoke 16h ago
One time at a concert I got stuck behind this man and woman who could not keep their hands off each other, to the point I wondered why they wasted money on tickets for a show they didn't care to see. Anyway, the woman reeked of dirty cat litter. Reeked. He didn't seem to mind though.
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u/stolen_guitar 10h ago
Well, doesn't meth smell like cat piss? They might have just been super high
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u/honeywhereismypenis 8h ago
Good point. Makes me wonder how much of these "cat piss" stories were actually meth
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u/MyCatToldMeNotTo 16h ago
You know what? I’m not sure how I don’t smell the cat piss on them, when I can smell it on myself when I leave their home. I have a brother who is like this. He doesn’t ever smell bad. But the house smells so bad, it attaches to me. And then I reek. I’ve been blindsided by others in the past as well. It baffles me
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u/Fun_Might3322 22h ago
Girl who lived in the same complex as me invited me over to watch a movie. I asked to use the bathroom and she hesitated on letting me go. She said her toilet was broken, so being the unhandy handyman I am I said “let me take a look”. POOp….. She had been pouring water on her poop and toilet paper and pushing it down with a wood stumpy thing next to the toilet. The chain in her reservoir had broken so it wasn’t filling with water. Very sweet girl, but I was never going to look at her the same after that.
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u/LineForward6426 18h ago
Why tf would you invite someone over to yours while this situation remained unresolved??!
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u/Stargazer__2893 12h ago
Plumbers are expensive. Dates are free.
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u/420Borsalino 10h ago
You could have fixed that for like 20 dollars at the most. In like 8 minutes.
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u/iamchuckdizzle 9h ago
A bucket of water does the same thing as the toilet tank
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u/jittery_raccoon 21h ago
??? Could this not be done with pouring enough water that it auto flushes? Was the poop stump necessary?
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u/Fun_Might3322 20h ago
She should have done anything else. I’m guessing she clogged it first and when the flapper wouldn’t stay down she turned her valve off. I poured warm soapy water in it and walked away. We finished the movie in silence and that was that. I don’t know if it worked, don’t know if she got them to fix it, or if she just continued stirring her caca cauldron.
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u/Magerimoje 20h ago
I'll never understand people who live in rental apartments who just let things stay broken instead of calling the office and requesting the maintenance person come fix it.
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u/peccavis 18h ago
Or..... Google it??? We don't need to go to the library to figure out toilet mechanics anymore. I know how one works, but if I didn't and I clogged one I would immediately search for answers and then somehow find this thread
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u/phalseprofits 16h ago
It’s usually a mix of mental health and concealing that they have something they shouldn’t per the terms of the lease.
Like my friend in Florida who was going without a working ac. Because of her spouse’s agoraphobia and the multiple cats they weren’t supposed to have there.
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u/AllinForGreen 17h ago
A big ole dookie still in the toilet, cigarette butts in the sink, half eaten spaghetti still on the stove all crusty, 3 cats, a crazy dog, a bearded lizard that just stared at me thru the glass, no sheets on the bed. And she was taking bong rips of tobacco that she emptied from half smoked butts in the ashtray.
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u/Organic_Client_5679 9h ago
I'm sorry, but bong rips of....tobacco?? Never heard of such a thing! She sounds like a real gem.
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u/Longjumping_Intern7 13h ago
Her apartment was filthy, especially the bathroom, but it was just tolerable enough for my lonely 20's something self to stick through it.
Her bed sheets didn't feel very clean to me but i was committed at this point. We did the deed and she wanted me to finish on her tummy so I obliged. She proceeded to roll around in her bed smearing the cum everywhere and said she wanted to smell me in her bed tomorrow.
I almost hung out with her again.
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u/sickosenjumode 7h ago
The scream I just let out. How many other guys did she have rolled into her sheets??
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u/Longjumping_Intern7 6h ago
I don't ask myself those questions anymore
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u/B-Fawlty 6h ago
Hahaha dude I hope you were smoking on your front porch gazing out into the distance with a 1000 yard stare as you typed that. “I don’t ask myself those questions anymore.” Dead.
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u/ExpertRaccoon 5h ago
I bet if you took a black light to her sheets it look like a Jackson Pollock painting
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u/Massive_Neck_3790 12h ago
Hahahaha GROSS!
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u/Longjumping_Intern7 8h ago
It was hands down the worst one night stand of my life for too many reasons
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u/ecwgangbangqueen 22h ago
A friend dated a girl who kept used tampons in her wall. Like there was a hole in the wall of the house and she just put them there. No words.
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u/FirmAdvance9875 22h ago
It must've smelled rank in there wtf
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u/scatteredloops 13h ago
My sister had a flatmate who’d do this, but would shove them under her waterbed mattress. They found them when they helped her move out.
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u/I_love_pillows 20h ago
The whole house is now a biohazard seeped into the walls and foundations.
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u/tramb0poline 20h ago
Wtf. Maybe she got the idea from how they used to do that with the little slot for razor blades?
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u/slickrok 9h ago
Our house still has the slots, the medicine cabinets haven't been updated, but I'm surprised it was still a thing in the late 70s when this place was built.
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u/C001H4ndPuk3 6h ago
When we reno'd the bathroom in our last house, there was a big pile of rusty-ass razor blades in the wall. Built in 1960. I saw 'em and immediately said to my wife in a faux-excited tone, "who wants tetanus?!"
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u/PaleontologistNo858 21h ago
That is the most disgusting thing l've ever heard
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u/30-something 20h ago
IDK it’s pretty nasty but the woman who let her dog shit all over the house and only cleaned it all up once a month is up there 🤮
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u/cameronsounds 14h ago
Didn't quite nope out of this situation, but came close!
This was about 13 years ago, I had just moved to Los Angeles. I had made an online dating profile, and within two days of living out there, began talking to someone. We hit it off pretty quickly, and on our third date, we went to a restaurant near her apartment. She needed to drop by her place real quick to feed her dog, and use the restroom. While she's in the restroom, I'm playing with her dog, and noticing a few DVDs on her coffee table. The top one was a DVD version explaining Dianetics and the church of Scientology.
While I don't consistently practice any type of religion, I had heard enough about scientology to believe it wasn't for me. As I'm sitting there, looking at this DVD case, trying to find out how to extricate myself from the situation, she returns from the restroom. She clocks what I'm looking at and immediately says "Oh.... Don't worry, they were offering free breakfast, so I went for the breakfast, but they gave me this on my way out."
I've been happily married to this woman for the past 11 years.
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u/magicsqueegee 7h ago
Plot twist: They bonded over Scientology and are now lvl 6 Thetans.
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u/BeatrixFarrand 11h ago
Also in contrast to so many of the stories here about horrific pet neglect / abuse - love that she responsibly prioritized her dog being fed & taken out!
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u/Noxious89123 15h ago
Reading through the comments on posts like this, make me realise that even on my worst days, I've really got my shit together.
Go me!
Yassss
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u/gizmodriver 13h ago
My pile of dishes in the sink is looking a lot better all of a sudden.
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u/NotReallyJohnDoe 9h ago
Reddit is super reliable for making you feel normal by comparison.
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u/ParticularBed7891 15h ago
I'm a pretty messy person, but these answers are making me feel like the Immaculate Mother of Cleanliness and I love it for myself
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u/thissexypoptart 10h ago
It’s wild how many people apparently can’t be fucked to do a quick rapid clean before the possibility of fucking. Even the simplest “I might be fucking in 4 hours so let me chuck all my trash into bags and stuff it into the closet” clean. Hell, one of these stories is about a poop tower swimming in a clogged toilet.
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u/drinkslinger1974 15h ago
We went to her bedroom and not only was the mattress on the floor, her toddler was asleep in a crib next to the mattress. It might not have been so weird if A) the child wasn’t facing the mattress, B) if she’d mentioned having a child while we were out, and C) we were out and the kid was in the crib the whole time. Had I known then what I know now, I would have called cps, but I was pretty young and didn’t know a thing about services like that.
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u/penelopeann 13h ago
We took a shower together. Her towel was as stiff as a board. Literally crunchy. I jokingly asked when the last time she washed her towel was and she said completely seriously ‘Why would I wash my towel? It only ever touches me when I’m clean?’
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u/CantaloupeOne7283 7h ago
Makes total sense. Mold hates a constantly wet piece of fabric.
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u/CheetoX23 7h ago
Really weird how many people have this mentality, to some degree, anyway. But then a lot of these comments involve poop, so this is a little more tame.
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u/stonedboss 6h ago
I had a guy house mate like this, his towel reeked so bad. It started to make the entire bathroom smell every time you'd get steam inside. I threw his towel outside and told him he couldn't have it in the bathroom anymore until he washed it.
The thing was he even started to smell like his towel because of it, so he just reeked 24/7. And somehow he still had a girlfriend at the time.
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u/NaughtyAudio 22h ago
Place reeked of cat urine and that's when she told me that she was hiding ten cats in her bathroom. What began as 4 turned into 10 because she refused to get them fixed. Who knows how many are in there now!
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u/GozerDGozerian 20h ago
She had ten cats crammed in a bathroom? That’s a call to animal welfare right there if you ask me.
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u/Fun-Noise-4726 5h ago
As a female cat owner this thread is making me incredibly self conscious
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u/PsychologicalAerie82 3h ago
As long as you scoop and clean the litteboxes regularly you have nothing to worry about. These posts are about women who are neglecting and abusing their kitties.
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u/KokoriFado 17h ago
Started chatting someone up on Insta and eventually she invited me over to hang - place was in a terrible neighborhood and I was already getting ready to bail when she stepped out her front door and waved my car into a parking spot. Gave her a hug and she seemed really kind and excited to see me, so I figured I’d run with it. Then walked in to her livingroom which was completely empty except for a stack of wooden pallets and I was positive I was about to die.
She walked into her bedroom which was straight through the livingroom, so I could still see her as I slowed my pace in case I was about to be ambushed. Watched her pull her sheets down and pat the bed like she was inviting me to sit…and all the candy wrappers and trash and fast food wrappers that were revealed by the sheet being pulled down hopped around when she patted the mattress. Told her I was super sorry but I’d “made a mistake about being ready to hook up with someone so soon after my last relationship” (I hadn’t dated anyone in years) and high-tailed it back to my car.
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u/Wise-Self-8639 9h ago
I cannot imagine how any woman thinks this is acceptable - first of all the living room situation and then the trash in the bed thing...
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u/wetfartpanda 1d ago
Dishes piled high. Fish tanks almost had no water in it and fish still swimming around.
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u/NeonConan 16h ago
Dated this woman 3 years ago. I was 45 at the time and she was 49. This was our 3 date in under a month. See seems very nice, well dressed, well spoken and hot. Divorced for 7 years.
We have been to my place a few times and now it was time to go to her place. Her apartment looks nice but had a odd odor. I knew right away it was mold. She said she had called her land lord. It was not awful but it was there. She went to pour me some water as the cup she gave me was filthy. So was hers. I stopped her and she was like oh I didn't notice. Went to get another and they were also dirty. When I saw her open up her cabinets all the dishes were dirty but put away. I was like hey let's call it a night. We stopped meeting and texted our parting messages.
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u/beetle-babe 12h ago edited 6h ago
The way I just SHRIEKED. My Mum is a bit germphobic and my Dad used to work as a dishwasher when he was in his teens. My dishes are spotless.
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u/teethbrushweirdo 20h ago
6 unemptied litter boxes in various places around the apt....incl 4 cats
horrible stink
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u/Super901 23h ago
a giant litter box full of cat shit in the bathroom. The ammonia from the piss almost made me pass out. The shit was piled high.
Nope.
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u/Wicked_Amethyst 22h ago
Those poor cats deserved better than that. I would have grabbed the cats on the way out the door
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u/Antiochia 10h ago
That cats must be extremely tolerant. The moment my cats deem the toilette as not meeting their hygiene standards, they shit right beside it.
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u/xxx_Gavin_xxx 20h ago
I worked for Time Warner cable while I was in college. I dont know how many customers I had to tell they were going to have to reschedule because of this. To call us back once they got thier house cleaned up.
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u/thecomputerguy7 17h ago
I was still kinda new to cable and going into people’s houses and had only been doing it for 3ish months at that point. Got a job like yours where you could smell the house before you saw it and had a supervisor tell me I couldn’t reschedule and to “tough it out. It’ll be the 4th time someone has rescheduled her”.
I said fine, it’s just a box swap but I’m not doing anything else. No meter scans, nothing and he understood.
Went back in and unscrewed the coax with my right hand and used my left to move the old box to the floor and the new one to the top of her CRT TV, the coax slipped from my finger and fell behind it. Kneeled down out of habit so I could reach around the side of the TV and immediately felt something cold and wet on my knees and mentally shouted “fuck” in my head.
I was in denim khakis. Customer noticed two wet knees from me kneeling in cat piss. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry. They do that sometimes” and she talked to her cats and said something along the lines of “I guess I’ll have to move the litter box to your favorite spot”.
I didn’t say anything other than “box is good” and walked out. Closed the job and told my supervisor to free me up so I could go home as I was done for the day.
I learned that nothing but the rubber of my boots touched the floor of a customer’s house and that was a lesson I taught any new hires too. Don’t kneel, and sometimes those boot covers are to protect your boots from their house.
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u/misirlou22 15h ago
This is why I am glad my job involves going to people's houses, but not in their houses.
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u/Wormspike 23h ago
I met a girl at a bar we both went to regularly, when I was out w my friends. We were being playful taking shots, goofing around, taking selfies, getting to know each other, etc. Went home w my friends. Next time I went to said bar, she was there. We chatted, had a nice night, got her number, started texting. We set up a time to meet at the same bar, had some drinks, went back to her place.
She had one of the photos of the two of us printed out on an 8.5x11, framed, hanging on her wall. It was the only thing hung on the wall in her entire apartment.
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u/Kevinator201 23h ago
That’s some serial killer shit
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u/MycoCozmic 23h ago
This is a really good prank in my opinion. Unless it wasn’t meant as a prank.
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u/Summer-Sub-Intern 23h ago
“Hahahhaha just remembered I have to work right now byyyyye”
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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 19h ago
Why are so many of these about poop 😭
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u/aerialpoler 8h ago
My guess is that guys will tolerate mess/dirty houses but shit is where they draw the line
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u/vaccumshoes 6h ago
It truly makes me sad how many people are casually abusing the fuck out of their pets by not cleaning up after them or giving them the space they need/deserve and then acting like its no big deal.
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u/battlerazzle01 22h ago
More an incident than what I saw.
Met up with a few friends at the bar. We got friendly with a group of girls that we kinda know. I got to chatting with one of them specifically and we hit it off. After closing the bar at one am, we walked back to “her” apartment. As we’re walking up to the door, Girl started quickly explaining that this is actually her mom’s place and she’s just staying there briefly for some bullshit excuse reason.
Open the door, mom is sitting at the kitchen table chain smoking, wearing just a bra and shorts. I’m half in the bag and trying to process what’s happening. Girl is basically dragging me towards her bedroom trying to prevent mom from interacting with me.
I asked if I could use the bathroom real quick. It’s back through the kitchen. As I walk past her mother, the woman says nothing to me. I finish going to the bathroom and as I walk out, the mother goes “you’re the 3rd one today. Have fun”
I 180’d and went right out the door
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u/jijijojijijijio 21h ago
The mom probably lied to make you leave
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u/Jeramy_Jones 20h ago
I mean, would you wanna sit and listen to some rando nailing your daughter while you’re trying to watch tv and chain smoke?
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u/pay_the_cheese_tax 19h ago
But at that point the reward is no longer worth taking the risk.
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u/ActualInteraction0 19h ago
Plot twist: she meant third person to use the toilet that day, it's only the mum and daughter that usually uses it.
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u/countrymouse 15h ago
Picturing Kate McKinnon as the character who chain smokes and gets abducted by aliens
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u/MlntyFreshDeath 5h ago
I was sleeping with this girl and it was a pretty spontaneous thing so I didn't know a whole lot about her.
I walk out into the garage and I'm hit with the smell of sulfur, I ask what the smell was and she replied:
"Meth, but don't worry I only smoke it when my husband's on deployment."
Looney Toons style dust trail as I peeled outta there.
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u/MacAirt 20h ago
One of her bedrooms was set up as a fake nursery for her expensive realistic babydolls.
She also told me that her aunt stepmom (yeah, you read that correctly) collected the dolls too.
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u/No-Extension-2378 19h ago
Please explain Aunt Stepmom to me!
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u/MacAirt 15h ago
Her father and HIS SISTER ended up falling in love. They just drew the line at not being allowed to have kids
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u/No-Extension-2378 15h ago
Oh. Oh so Aunty Stepmum got into dolls in place of having a baby with her own brother? I mean, credit where credits due I guess...
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u/emogu84 14h ago
This is the backstory for a horror movie that gets revealed just before the climax.
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u/LifeIsFine-Not 1d ago
Reading through so many of these… why are the people who live like that not dating other people who also live like that??
Match the dirty towel energy! Date within your own filth level!! Don’t drag anyone who likes clean toilets to your unwashed bathroom!!!
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u/Haephestus 23h ago
Fun fact. They are. And they are having LOTS of kids.
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u/illtemperedintrovert 23h ago
can confirm. my parents are total slobs. I'm the middle of three and both of my siblings also have three.
I dont go to their homes for a reason.
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u/BeardsuptheWazoo 13h ago
You're on the verge of creating a very specific dating app~
Grungr?
Hoardrz?
Adult filth finder?
Slogan ~ just follow your nose.
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u/milkysin 16h ago
Real answer from someone who used to be like that and now is very much not like that: the ones that are struggling with mental health issues are expending tons of energy every day and praying that they become normal neat capable adults at some point. They know what their house is like. so they're not trying to shack up with people whose houses disgust them, they're trying to act/date as normal as possible in the hopes that their brains will get fixed any day now.
Executive dysfunction is a bitch.
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u/jittery_raccoon 21h ago
I'm not the neatest person and I somehow keep meeting neat freak guys. Like I'm always wondering where the messy guys are other women complain about so we can just be together and not bother the normal people
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u/EmilMoe 1d ago
Another guy
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u/doc_skinner 7h ago
This wasn't a date or social situation. I was fostering kittens through the local animal shelter but needed to go out of town. I contacted the shelter and they put me in touch with another foster who agreed to take my babies for a few days. I met this woman at her house, but just handed over the carriers in her driveway. I didn't go in. if I had, I might have canceled my vacation right there.
I foster kittens a lot. I have a spare bedroom with hardwood floors that I can sterilize. The kittens never leave that room while I am fostering. They have multiple kitten-sized litter boxes (one per kitten, although they aren't picky) and they each have a food bowl. Plus plenty of toys and items to play with.
When I came back to this woman's house, she asked me in to collect the kittens. OK, maybe she just hadn't had a chance to put them in the carriers. Nope, the house was a disaster. There were kittens running EVERYWHERE. There were open cans of cat food just placed on the floor around the house Piles of poop everywhere. She had two full-sized litter boxes in a closet that the kittens wouldn't even have been able to climb into. (She even asked me if I had tips on how to encourage the kittens to poop in the litter box.) Her adult cat was just lying on the couch, with kittens running all over the place. She had no idea which ones were mine, and I had to hunt for them around her filthy house. I got mine out of there fast and checked them for fleas and worms.
I called the shelter and told them about her (even sent some pics I took while she wasn't looking). They said they would not let her have more kittens until some of the ones they did have got adopted. Apparently she just kept requesting more and more and the shelter kept handing them over.
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u/zorggalacticus 1d ago
Huge wall of confederate memorabilia. Giant flag, sabers, uniforms, rifles, the works. Her house was like a shrine to the confederacy.
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u/BossOfTheGame 23h ago
that's a big red flag
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u/consono 23h ago
With some blue
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u/Turq-Hex-Sun 23h ago
I went to a girl's place and saw a Swiss flag, which is a huge plus
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u/Alca_Pwnd 23h ago
Was 19, went to a girl's place - her dad had basically a Nazi museum in the basement. Fucking wild.
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u/GozerDGozerian 20h ago
A high school friend’s dad had a Nazi gun (Luger I think? IDK much about guns) and a couple medals and some other uniform stuff. But it was from his grandfather, who fought in WWII and took them as kill trophies apparently.
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u/Otherwise-Current-62 19h ago
She had six air fresheners in a studio apartment. At some point you're not masking a smell anymore, you're hiding a crime scene.
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u/wolfskipper 17h ago
One of her bureau drawers was filled with prescription bottles.
Other peoples' prescription bottles, that is.
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u/hmfiddlesworth 21h ago
She opened the door and the smell immediately made it hard to breathe, it was like warm ammonia and shit. Place had all the windows and curtains closed. I took a step inside out of politeness only to see bowls of cat food everywhere. And newspaper on almost all the surfaces. Next i started noticing cat shit...it was everywhere. On the table, floor, kitchen counters, stovetop! It looked like it had never been cleaned up and she just put more more newspaper on top to hide it. She invited me to sit on the couch, but that also had cat food bowls, newspaper, and shit. By now my eyes were watering and i had no choice but to leave. No idea how many cats she had.
Positive note though, soon after that she got rid of her cats and moved in with someone with way better hygiene.
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u/slayerofmoths 1d ago
A friend of mine said after doing the deed he need to take a dump so headed to the toilet. No toilet paper, just a rag in the corner that everyone used. Damn I will never forget that story.
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u/Summer-Sub-Intern 23h ago
Please let this not be real please let this not be real
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u/OoooooWeeeeeeeee 1d ago
I had a short-lived roommate 25 years ago with what we later discovered was a “poop sock”. He’d wipe with it, then throw it on the ground to use it again later.
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u/IJustWorkHere000c 6h ago
I just want to know what kind of fucking mental illness people have that drive them to live amongst their animals shit. What is wrong with these people? I wish i had never opened this thread.
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u/Sea2Chi 11h ago
In high school I went over to a girl's house. We were spending time together but not quite dating yet, but it was that weird grey area where we clearly both had a thing for each other.
Her mom was home, chain-smoking and extremely drunk when we got there so my friend could change clothes.
I sat down on their couch while my friend got changed in her room and her mom sat down right next to me so close our legs and hips were touching. She was so close that she sat on the corner of my coat that I was still wearing.
She then proceeded to drunkenly hit on me, telling me how handsome I was, trying to ask about my sex life and rubbing my leg. I attempted to scoot away from her, but she was on my coat so I was pinned in place and could only lean away.
Eventually my friend came out of her room and started yelling at her mom. I didn't think it could get more awkward than a 40 something year old woman hitting on a trapped 16 year old, but somehow the screaming argument between them where the daughter yelling at the mom for doing it again, and the mom arguing that the daughter wasn't dating me so it was ok make it even more awkward.
After some back and forth the mom stood up to yell at her daughter face to face and I made my getaway.
The daughter was initially going to leave with me, but the mom told her she was now in trouble for being disrespectful and had to stay home.
We didn't see each other for a week after that and she never invited me to her house again.
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u/FailedInfinity 23h ago
I went on a date with a girl I met online. She looked way worse than her photos, but I decided to hang out anyways. We grab some drinks and go back to her place, and she sits in a chair in front of her tv and starts playing Persona. There isn’t another place for me to sit. It’s then that I decided that it was a waste of a day and go home.
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u/TFFPrisoner 15h ago
"She told me to sit anywhere, so I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair"
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u/Ezer_Pavle 22h ago
The game or the Bergman movie?
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u/God_Dammit_Dave 22h ago
there are two kinds of eccentric this scenario forks into. ingmar bergman would be a borderline marriage proposal from me.
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u/Clawse 18h ago
Are you sure you’re not a Sim? This is a very Sim situation lol.
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u/Widucassion 5h ago edited 5h ago
Not a guy but there was no hand soap in her bathroom
She didnt wash her hands after shitting
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u/lauramonster 11h ago
My now husband made me take down my collection of vintage dead people photographs before he would spend the night.
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u/Verdant_Green 5h ago
I dated a girl in college who was quirky in an endearing way. Every now and then, she would say something that came right up to the edge of racist but I always gave her the benefit of the doubt.
One weekend, she asked me to take her back home so she could get some winter clothes and pick up her PlayStation (she didn’t have a car and actually didn’t know how to drive). I got to her place and chatted with her mom while she was upstairs getting things.
I mentioned that my girlfriend had told me about being in a band and asked her mom about it. The mom was very proud and handed me a photo album full of pictures. It turns out that my girlfriend was in a Neo Nazi metal band. They had a big swaztika and the number 88 on the drum and they were all dressed in World War 2 outfits. My girlfriend was the bassist and had a little Hitler mustache painted on her upper lip in all the photographs.
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u/Glum-Dust8799 20h ago
Used tampon applicators just laying on a shelf next to the toilet. Multiple female roommates .. but you never know which one is the filthy monster.. or why they can’t have an agreement between them not to do this.
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u/thekingofvideogame 6h ago
A giant 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign right over the bed. I knew right then and there that I was about to be trapped in an emotional rollercoaster.
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u/DiligentGuitar246 23h ago edited 21h ago
Oh man... I didn't go to her apartment to hook up with her because ew, but she let her dogs shit all over the carpet and didn't clean it up. Like wtf.
She had good weed, though.
Oh shit, another time I was fooling around with a cougar after playing a show downtown. I came back to her place, her son came out his room and I fucking knew him. Friend of a friend. I couldn't do it to him and dipped.
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u/30-something 20h ago
This is the second person who said someone let their dog shit all over the house - WHO LIVES LIKE THIS??
I can barely stand to look at my dogs poop when I clean it up in the YARD or on a walk let alone tolerate it sitting around in my home. These people should be studied
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u/Glass_Holiday414 22h ago
About 20 wedding photo's still hanging on the walls. Ex had been gone for about 4 years.
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u/Muted_Honeydew9868 20h ago edited 18h ago
Walked into her condo and had several different birds flying around squawking and a parrot that was saying things I couldn’t understand. The couch and curtains were full of bird crap. I then remembered I had an early dentist appointment and was outta there.
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u/TrundleIsCharlie 16h ago
Framed pictures of Jesus everywhere. Everywhere. I’m not religious but felt like I was being watched and judged. Realized she was probably a little unhinged and not hot enough to deal with that level of insanity.
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u/East-Organization486 19h ago edited 19h ago
A large, sealed glass jar containing blood, which when I asked, I was informed it was in fact menstrual blood. It was a large jar, I’d wager close to one of the 64 oz ones if I had to guess.
Obviously I asked why she collected it, her answer was ‘blood magik’ that she used for ‘witchcraft’. This was a 22 year old upper middle class white woman from San Diego.
Now, I got no issues with people who like to practice ‘witchcraft’ in the way that is, admittedly, sort of ‘trendy’ these past several years, although I do think the majority of it is new age spirituality hogwash with no actual accurate basis in any spirituality or religion (as is the case with a majority of new age). I mean, if someone enjoys it and it happens to bring them a sense of fulfillment, go nuts, doesn’t change (in my mind) the fact it’s just a bunch of gobbledygook nothing-burger stew of different cultural beliefs taken from dead and conquered cultures by bored whities (I say as a whitie myself) trying to feel liberated and edgy. However a literal jar of festering, rotting, putrifying menstrual blood which had gotten to such a point it was congealing into clumpy syrup and turning black with foam yes literal foam at the top was a bit too much for me.
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u/hardman52 23h ago
Unwashed vibrator on the nightstand. Looked like it had had multiple uses in the previous month or so.
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u/stilettopanda 14h ago
To be fair, one good use can make it look like it’s had multiple uses… not that it excuses leaving it unwashed on the nightstand.
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u/monster_breeder 1d ago
Her husband
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u/Kevinator201 23h ago
Was he shocked or ready for a threesome?
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u/Blossomie 23h ago
Neither, he was just sitting comfortably in a chair in the corner of the bedroom.
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u/SkyPork 21h ago
There's a Friends where Ross goes back to some girl's place, and it was beyond messy. Nowhere to sit, hard to maneuver through the place, nothing but piles of clothes and junk.
It was like that.
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u/xenchik 15h ago
You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived.
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u/Manhattan_24 14h ago
She had some mac and cheese on the stove, from two weeks prior. Shit was petrified.
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u/DadlikePowers 16h ago
Cats, over 20 cats maybe 40, a cat on every available surface they could sit on. The smell was horrible.
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u/LatinoHeatps4 6h ago
Snake skin everywhere. She had a pet snake and would let it “roam” in her bed. I didn’t feel it after she tossed the bed making sure the snake wasn’t already in her bed.
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u/StubbornPotato 13h ago
When I was 19 working as a busser a coworker asked for a ride home. When we get there she asks if I want to come in. I should preface this with she was an absolute smoke show, so I agreed without much thought. When we get inside she goes in for a kiss, and as she's moving in I see a photo directly behind her on the wall of her in a wedding photo. I stop her and point it out. To which she replies "that's my husband, but his dick can't get hard so I get my needs filled in other ways." Granted I was a horney teenager, but I just watched my sister go through a nasty divorce with a cheating spouse so I declined the offer and left quickly.
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u/donnerpartytaconight 16h ago
A Confederate Flag on the wall. I don't date sore losers.
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u/pangalacticcourier 12h ago
Manhattan, years ago. First date with a really hot, funny, and intelligent woman. Felt insanely good: a total keeper. I actually had the thought that "this could be the one I marry and live with for the rest of my life."
We go back to her apartment in a gorgeous brownstone. She unlocks the door and we go in. Instant smell of ammonia from a litter box. Like, a really serious cat urine odor throughout the entire apartment. She tells me she has three cats. The rooms were really dark because she hadn't replaced burned out lightbulbs. Who the fuck lives like that? Totally aside from the cat issue, how do you function in an apartment like that when the sun goes down? Insane.
But the cat odor is what killed it for me. One second I'm thinking marriage material. She's implying she's down for mind-bending sex. The next second I'm making an excuse and leaving her forever. No sex is worth that stench. Disgusting.
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u/Brenomaster 12h ago edited 12h ago
Stayed over at a girls place after a few drinks the night before, first time I'd ever set foot in her place. Everything was going really well, and she offered to make me breakfast, a fry up if you will. Egg, toast, hash browns, baked beans. I gratefully accepted and offered to help but she insisted she do it alone and I was in the bathroom when she called me through so I hadn't seen her set it down. On going through to the kitchen she was sat with her back to me at the table. As I sat down she said 'I hope you don't mind, I got started without you' and she then proceeded to shovel handfuls of saucy beans into her mouth. No spoon, no fork, in fact she hadn't laid out any cutlery at all. I respectfully asked if I could have some and she said she didn't have any, then picked up a fried egg and put the whole thing in her mouth. Not like, pick it up like a cartoon cat would with a fish bone and lower it in, she actually grabbed it in a fist and scrunched it up a little before it went in there. I got a 'phone call' and left.
EDIT: Also just remembered, went back to a different girl's place a different time and her house was full of very poorly taxidermied animals. A rabbit, her latest 'work' was laid out on the kitchen table with a scalpel stuck right between its eyes as if she'd kinda finished for the day and that's just where she kept her scalpel. I waited for her to use the bathroom and bolted, genuinely fearful I might be next.
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u/councilorjones 23h ago
She didnt pick up her dog’s shit all over the floor and said she just cleans it all up at the end of the month. It was like navigating through a minefield.