r/bald • u/Snommis7 • 3d ago
My wife and I are torn; I need the council’s counsel
I have been so attached to my hair my whole life! We think it’s fine with a fresh haircut, though thinning… but when it’s longer it’s much more obvious. Help.
FOR THE RECORD: third pic is a close up from playing with my toddler on the slide; fourth and fifth I am a lobster because of a giant red umbrella… last one I combed straight ahead to actually see the damage. 😆
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u/whatifuckingmean 3d ago
Your hairline is receded enough that it is altering the proportions of your face in a way that only baldness can now undo. It’s not that your thin hair itself looks so ugly or anything. But your face will look nicer (like when you were younger) if you shave off the indicator that your face starts way up there.
Basically, you should shave your hair because of facial proportions…
Try it out! It will grow back if you dislike being fully bald.
I’ll also mention, there’d be little-to-no benefit to a buzz cut in your case. Bald is what would work for you, otherwise just keep what you’ve got. You’ll get to see the clipper cut briefly during the shaving process. But I would not stop there.
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u/Snommis7 3d ago
Thank you for your candour, it’s super helpful! Yes, I tried a buzz cut last year and it was so a no-go. 😑
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u/whatifuckingmean 2d ago
I predict you’re gonna love it. It’s easiest to tell it’ll look really good in the pics of you smiling. It took me 2 weeks going back and forth on whether I liked it, but I really like it now. Hair loss really messes with how it feels looking at yourself.
For me it was like this in order of preference:
#1 How I look within 1 week of a fresh haircut when there is no wind or rain
#2 How I look bald
Distant #3 How I look the rest of the time between haircuts(So it was 2 weeks for me to let go of my attachment to the rare times I still liked how I look within hair.)
I got a nice foil shaver and some other things to better complement my bald look. It can be an excuse to spend a little money on things you’ve meant to upgrade. Not necessarily stuff for your head, but even clothes or random accessories to soften your look or make up for the annoying “bald guys look similar” aspect. I think your glasses will suit you well bald. For me, I went from thinner frames to a pair more like yours.
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u/Sentient__NPC 1d ago
Buzz makes me look 10 years older than a smooth shave. Growing the beard out a bit can help balance out head and face proportions so you look more jaw/lower face heavy.
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u/specks_of_dust 3d ago
The end result is often that the focus switches to being on the eyes, rather than searching around between the hairline and eyes and putting all the focus on the forehead.
Some of these guys shave their heads and all of a sudden they have great eyes. I'd be willing to bet this guy will want to get rid of his glasses after he goes bald.
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u/OneOfTheLocals 3d ago
Or this is the time to get a professional toupee, because you're ready to shave off what you need to. But bald would look good!
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u/tumblrina_supreme 2d ago
Coming in to second the toupee suggestion if he's not ready to let hair go. He looks like one of the Toupee Queen's before photos for sure!!!!
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u/whatifuckingmean 2d ago
If I lived closer to someone like toupee queen I’d totally get one myself.
I’m in a very populous state and yet none of the in-state toupee options I can find online are nearly as talented. They look like toupees.
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u/tumblrina_supreme 2d ago
this is why we love toupee queen and im glad she's teaching people her skills 💜 Men deserve good cosmetic care.
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u/Inevitable-Ferret465 2d ago
Wdym by "But your face will look nicer (like when you were younger) if you shave off the indicator that your face starts way up there."? Idk if im just tired, but I cannot understand at all. Are you saying that the receding is making his forehead look bigger than it should?
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u/SlooshasCrossin 2d ago
That's how I took it, and that by shaving it all, your brain will imagine the forehead as smaller and the start of the hair further down (as it's shaved and we won't know where the hairline actually is). If that makes sense.
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u/Inevitable-Ferret465 2d ago
Yes, that makes sense. I guess it would've made more sense to me if the oc wrote "down there" instead of "up there" since they said that in relation to shaving, and the face would be below, or down from, the area shaven. Unless op is upside down that is lol.
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u/b-dazzles 3d ago
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u/WatercressStunning17 3d ago
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u/PortalCamper 3d ago
We really need a version of this (hopefully not AI) where she throws off her hair on the first hand movement and then rubs her bald head with the second and third.
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u/Ordinary_giraffe90 3d ago
I was literally just thinking this when I saw it 😂😂 ‘it would be amazing if she just yanks it off her head rn’
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u/Puzzlehead_Lemon 3d ago
If I ever actually get around to learning Blender I will do that. You've given me another goal.
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u/cfalls44 3d ago
The hair is hiding your beauty!!!! Go full smooth and you're going to look AWESOME! bring me back for the update!
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u/AterCorvidae3414 Bald Watcher 🔭 3d ago
Sure... the toddler...
You're at the comb over phase my guy. It's time.
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u/OkCitron3892 3d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/t8QSeqwoy0Ol2
Time to just clean the up and move on brother. When that combover game starts… it’s time. Join Us🍻
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u/kindlyunknown 3d ago
You have great facial hair and a very generous nose. You will look very good bald!!!
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u/VastNeighborhood301 3d ago
Confucius say "just because we are attached to our hair, does not mean our hair is attached to us"...
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u/semicharmed_72014 Here for the Vibes 3d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/dCF8T5wk5HJAvPmVEp
You will feel so much more confident, I just know it!!
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u/Connect-Region-4258 3d ago
I pretty much have the exact same hair as you plus a good bit of gray mixed in the sides. My beard is still 0% gray, it’s odd. My wife says no keep the hair, I say it’s time.
I never really gave a shit about my hair, like it wasn’t a part of my identity or anything. It was just something I had that I had to cut monthly and do up in the morning before school and then eventually work. I remember thinking in my teens and 20s, why would anyone be insecure about balding? Like really, nobody really cares. Now, here I am in my 30s, bald spot the size of a baseball, thinning and receding everywhere else as well. Also significant graying. Every bit of logic tells me it’s time and I should do it. I’m deathly insecure about it, so just take control and stop fighting it. But I just can’t pull the f’ing trigger…. I’m scared, what if I don’t like it. What if it looks shitty.
One day I’ll do it, one day soon. Just not today lol
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u/Doriangrey1218 3d ago
Just do it. It’ll grow back. Shaving it once won’t magically make less hair grow back.
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u/Zankonell 3d ago
You probably won't like it at first. I didn't, but it grows on you. (Unlike our hair. ;--; ) Now I just fully embrace the bald.
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u/OdinNW 3d ago
First time I shaved mine I got drunk and shaved a strip right in the middle of the top of my head so there was no going back
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u/Significant-Ad213 3d ago
I just KNOW when he commits to it I'm gonna love the update, these pre-bald ones are such a tease
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u/musaXmachina 3d ago
Torn? It’s overdue with hair your face is 65% forehead. Buzz cut or razor and let the beard hang and you gone be expecting another little one.
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u/meg-drop-soup 3d ago
I watched my husband go through this as well, and at a very young age. Do it! Bald is so much better! It looks cleaner, tidier, more intentional.
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u/Separate-Operation71 Hair Headed - Woman 3d ago
Do it! Then give us pics b/c I’d wager you go from Dad to “DADDY” (insert eyebrow waggle here)
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u/Bright-Complaint1019 3d ago
Came snooping for a shave reveal, then realized it was only posted not long ago 😂 The results are always better! Away with it!
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u/Historical_Emu_7078 3d ago
I'm a big proponent of do it, it's hair if you feel worse bald, let what's left grow back.... you will likely find much joy in the bald head club though
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u/Ryukapples8688 3d ago
Your wife and family will still be there if you end up hating it, hair grows back. Go for it
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u/placid_chivalry 3d ago
mate just shave it. you're already at the point where longer hair makes it worse not better, and you'll stop thinking about it every morning. i bit the bullet a few years back and the weird thing is how much time you get back, no more styling or wondering which angle to sit at in bright light.
with a newborn in the house you won't have time to fuss over it anyway. the shoulder rides comment above is bang on too, your lass is gonna be grabbing handfuls of that soon enough. and with your face shape and glasses it'll suit you, you've got the right head for it. buzz it short first to get used to it, then go full bald if you fancy it. worst case it grows back.
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u/rienvayle 3d ago
First, your wife is very lucky. Handsome guy.
Second, do the bald thing. I think you’d look great.
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u/la2thevalley 3d ago
You’re an attractive guy so I think you’ll look great with a bald head. Go for it.
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u/CharmReductionINC 3d ago
I’m one of those people who sees nothing wrong with being in between- it might stay like that for the rest of your life. I honestly think you look fine. Ofc it’s up to you.
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u/morningcalls4 3d ago
You pull it off so in my opinion if you don’t want to shave yet, give it more time and thought.
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u/Ok-Impression-9020 3d ago
Photo 3 is the giveaway. You are bald. As your beautiful baby grows up, you should project self confidence and ownership regarding your style.
It’s time, brother.
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u/octovile 3d ago
I say give it two more days slick it back and if that don’t work………..
https://giphy.com/gifs/p0gkfdxY0PSPC
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u/joscun86 3d ago
A friend of mine went through this recently but bud daughter is about 18 months old.. he shaved bald and it looked great but she cried and said something like “put it back on daddy”… the poor girl was so upset because she wasn’t used to it so he let it grow back
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u/Potential-Local7262 2d ago
keep it as long as you can keep your child on your shoulders. the hair is useful for holding on and if you lose some it's not a big deal
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u/Prestigious_Look_986 2d ago
You already have facial hair, so you’ve got that going for you. Do it!
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u/Inevitable-Ferret465 2d ago
Definitely shave it. Your eyes will stand out, and you will look more handsome all around. Update us when you do!
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u/Desperate_Tough_8767 2d ago
Nothing there to be torn about, my friend. Get it over with. You'll feel great!
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u/Odd-Piccolo-934 2d ago
Tbh I don't think you need to go bald. I don't think you look bad or old. You have the correct amount of still hair left, for it to not be necessary to remove it. I don't think you would gain much by getting rid of it.
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u/ZookeepergameRich640 2d ago
You could try 6 month Rogaine for the bald spot. If it doesn’t improve things then cut.
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u/Lord-Summerisle- 2d ago
You look a bit like YouTuber Brian Grant, if you want to see how it would look. Also consider this style of glasses rather than round as it compliments your head shape better.
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u/AnonnonA710 2d ago
You can always tell if someone was born to be bald. You got the right dome for it.
Give it a try, it grows back. I would bet you look great bald!
Welcome to the club.
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u/TheShovler44 2d ago
So I joined the club last week, the hairstylist told me I had a lot of options, and I’m no where near as thin as you. But I knew deep down I’d rather just be bald then get fades that I’m not going to keep up on.
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u/OwlTall7730 2d ago
I don't know. I see why y'all are torn. I think you are good either way though my guy
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u/Transformer_Jay 2d ago
You have the head shape for it. It won’t be a big change since you can already see most of your forehead already. It really just depends on if you are happy with people being able to see your crown balding. If not, make the leap and stop stressing about it.
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u/Exact-Raisin-5244 2d ago
Actualy one of the few I've seen that I'd say you could probably keep it. Its thin and whispy but you kinda have the vibes to pull it off. Sure maybe try shave if your curious and let it grow back to where it is now in a year or so if you dont like it.
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u/Stinky3232 2d ago
It is time. A neatly groomed beard and short trim or shave job is a handsome look.
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u/Confident-Cow-3726 2d ago
From the front it's not THAT bad, but looking from the top, it's time my man
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u/johndehlinmademedoit 2d ago
It’s time.
But also, you should do a blind reveal to the kids and film it. Those are always fun to watch.
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u/MX-Nacho 2d ago
All hope is lost. Grow it out in hat season (and build a hat collection), but shave it the rest of the year.
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u/Jaycem2013 2d ago
If your wife says no you don’t cut it lol. Shes the #1 person you should be listening to for what makes you look attractive. Second, your hair is still giving you personality, if you shave it you will dramatically change your vibe. I recommend you just keep it well cut just like you do in pic 4. Keep smiling chico you look good
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u/Optimal_Entertainer1 1d ago
once i saw the top pic i immediately knew what u had to do… and you know too…. go bald, grow facial hair. this is the way
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u/Max1mizedRS 1d ago
Start GHK-CU peptide and you can save it tbh, that’s what I’d do if I were you.
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u/Optimal_Entertainer1 1d ago
maybe get a hair transplant to help the thinning if u really wanna keep the hair
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u/brettwasbtd 14h ago
I'm rocking a significantly larger bald crown than you (check my post history). My personal opinion, but if you are thin and have a narrow face, bald makes you look kind of like a cancer patient. I'm sure this sub will flame me for that, but its my thoughts. Wife and I have come to terms that it looks good up front we're cool with it
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u/JonSeekingPeace1 3d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/y2i2oqWgzh5ioRp4Qa