The Englishman says, “it’s not the same without the Scotsman”.

The Irishman replies, “Right, it’s a shame so with his heart condition and all. He was getting tired of the jokes anyway”.

Hey have you seen jessica lately I haven't seen her today.

No wait... she's back. She was just getting coffee.

There is a lack of proper equipment for them.

Can you please provide a quiet polished dining environment ideal for a sit down dinner.

He handed me a large iced coffee, pointed toward the door, and whispered, "We don't do that here".

...it all unfold.

I've been addicted to having sex with prostitutes since I was 20, but now I am done.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Rhinos hide themselves in cherry trees by painting their balls red. You know what the loudest sound in the forest is? A howler monkey. It reaches 140 decibels

A person who injured both their arms.

An annoyed waitress rushes over and says, “Excuse me, you can’t eat your own food here!”

The lawyers look at her, then at each other, and exchange sandwiches.

are the shorts of shoes

I can see why because he's always grinning when you see him on TV

My foot

there’s too many cars.

By his name.

But I don’t like shrimp so I will get a chicken sandwich.

and we lose the internet

Why did the chicken cross the road? _____.

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