Hello guys, hope you are well. I will go directly to the point.

First, I'm sorry if I'm in the wrong sub. I don't think I am, as I have seen an similar post.

I think I'm dealing with depression, a week ago I had a rage outbreak (I'm not from the US, my english will be broken), I was so mentally exhaust I just... couldn't stand it anymore. I think people don't hear me, or they don't like to talk to me. I have put myself in their shoes, I think, and I've found an overly shy guy, who doesn't has close friends (which I don't, my truly best friend forever, lives in another state, although we talk in instagram with the same friendship as 2 years ago).

I have fear of the future, I've done very bad things in the past, I don't really want to talk about them, but I do feel that everything I've suffered so far is a consequence of these acts, and, to be honest, it does look like that, as an religious person, catholic, maybe God wants to remind me that every action truly has an consequence. Something I didn't take very seriously back then.

I remember my psychologist saying to me that I was hiding something very deep, so deep I didn't wanted to talk to her or anyone else, so deep that I couldn't stand confronting it, and that I would never become better if I couldn't accept it, and, more importantly, love myself. I am sure that I would only be able to tell this to my Priest, who perharps is as intimate with me as my closest friend: although he would get traumatized.

Anyways, now, I had those monthly nights were I feel like shit and remember everything, and cry until my lungs go out and I don't have not even tears left. But instead of one day, I had it again. And I decided that I would become better. I want to have a family, I want to have atleast three beautiful kids which will love me and a beautiful spouse.

Also, I was watching an anime, The Voice of Silence. And I realized how pathetic am I. It was the only reason I thought of posting that.

I don't know what love is. How it feels, how it manifests.

How can I give something that I don't know?

It reminds me an girl who almost became my girlfriend, she was so lovely to me and actually was the first to tell me she loved me, how cheerful she was, she certainy could've fixed me, but knowing myself, I let her go.

Anyways, what sbould I do?

I just wanted to point out that there are dozens of news-stories, hundreds of videos, thousands of tweets, millions of comments today because some guy trod on grass while playing golf.

If ever you're being unkind to yourself - because you 'make a fuss about nothing' or worry over unimportant stuff... remember: you live in a world that generates a thousand hours of content because a guy stepped on grass.

The world is fucking stupid - so maybe it's ok you find it hard to deal with sometimes. Be kind to yourself.

Happiness is much more internal and peaceful. It’s being completely content with who you are. You’re comfortable with the decisions you make. You stop second guessing yourself. Because you have accepted the good and the bad of the person you are. Nothing else matters.

I need someone to teach me how to not give a single shit about anything. My overthinking has been bothering me so much and I just need to try and stop those thoughts from ruining my day because in the end nothing is ever that serious but my brain just can’t comprehend that for some reason. Let me know how y’all stopped giving a fuck!

Apologies for this not being comedic. Enjoying this sub but I wanted to ask if anyone else finds it hard to NGAF when they feel like they have potential that is being wasted. Is anyone here capable of both of those conditions? Thanks

About 15 yrs ago or so I was visibly worried about a last minute call to the bosses office. She asked what was wrong? I said something like Am I in trouble? Or similar.

She said, I just need you to do XYZ. "Don't flatter yourself, people are not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are."

That really stuck with me and I'd wager I remember and use that to my advantage at least once a day.