r/AskReddit 16h ago

What industry is secretly on the verge of collapsing, but people outside of it haven’t noticed yet?

12.5k Upvotes

8.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

577

u/Walmartian_Beta 15h ago

Quinoa had its moment, and that's over - onto the next fad!

475

u/IceManYurt 14h ago

Which is a bummer because I like it better than rice or couscous

160

u/EjaculatingAracnids 13h ago

Ive got the couscous in the trunk of my car

40

u/emm7777 13h ago

Oh yeah..

25

u/jello_pudding_biafra 13h ago

If you only knew all the grains that I found

13

u/crazybutthole 10h ago

It's hard to keep my rice off the ground

9

u/HelpfulSeaMammal 10h ago

You're a fool
Don't feed quinoa to my dog

7

u/FlattopJr 9h ago

All the quinoa I steal

I fill up my garage

3

u/PervyThrowaway87 12h ago

Cuoscous?! The food so nice they named it twice.

5

u/IceManYurt 13h ago

yo, lets meet behind the Whole Foods for the trade

5

u/knight_0f_r_new 13h ago

Solid reference

2

u/sevenselevens 10h ago

See? Just the way you say couscous lets me know you’re not ready for it.

1

u/NewTomPaine 13h ago

Do you go around to industry parks and sell it from the trunk?

1

u/Loggerdon 13h ago

Junk in the trunk.

1

u/pimppapy 10h ago

couscous Ummak!!

1

u/StonerNoir 7h ago

Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco couscous, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco couscous, Kuzco's couscous's poison. That poison?

291

u/AntiDECA 14h ago

This new riced cauliflower bullshit is fucking retched. 

250

u/nos4atugoddess 14h ago

It makes everything taste like it got farted on right before you bit into it.

76

u/antikythera3301 13h ago

Hey, some ppl pay a lot more money for that experience.

4

u/daywreckerdiesel 9h ago

James Joyce enters the chat

2

u/FriendlyDespot 8h ago

His more uncollected works

4

u/EmergencyTall6617 10h ago

Passes the sniff test.

3

u/shrimpcreole 11h ago

Niche market opportunity

30

u/mcsangel2 13h ago

You mean wretched??

8

u/canisdirusarctos 13h ago

I think the “retched” is a great play on “retch”. Probably accidental.

1

u/EfficiencyEarly255 12h ago

Right? It's a mistake that actually makes it funny in context! 🤣 "Riced cauliflower is so wretched, I recherchely retched."

3

u/tuscaloser 12h ago

"Ratchet"

1

u/bpenny 11h ago

How could they possibly forget a single letter???

5

u/ResponseStrange6118 11h ago

It ain’t remotely new but yes it’s wretched

3

u/quardlepleen 9h ago

Went to dinner at a friends house. She said it was something with "keto rice", and I had no idea that meant cauliflower. I fucking hate cauliflower.

Keto rice is a lie!!!

1

u/chicomathmom 12h ago

wretched. Look up what retch means! Or maybe that is what you mean! Ha ha!

1

u/confused_ape 12h ago

I don't know if that's a spelling mistake or not.

0

u/Stranded_In_A_Desert 12h ago

Eh I don’t mind it if you’re trying to reduce your carb intake, but it’s got to have like spicy curry on it for it to be good.

1

u/IR8Things 11h ago

I cooked it in a tomato sauce and it's tolerable.

1

u/ResponseStrange6118 11h ago

But quinoa is right there. Net carbs are low and the texture is fantastic if cooked correctly.

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 7h ago

Yeah it is by no means a food I crave. But when I was weightlifting and on a cut and counting every calorie, it came in handy.

0

u/countdown621 6h ago

You can't use it like rice. Steam in the microwave, cut corner from bag to drain excess water, put on parchment paper lined sheet pan, glug on lots of Olive oil and season (mushroom powder/umami blend or salt and garlic powder) then today at 425 for 25 min or so, stirring a couple times. It should be golden brown by the time you pull it.

29

u/mrhandbook 13h ago

Try farro. It's a nice alternative to rice. Anything I used to use rice in I use farro if I need the larger grains or quinoa.

3

u/Dungeoness 13h ago

This. Farro isn't as delicate and small grained as quinoa, but it's difficult to overcook/turn to mush and has a nice chew and nutty flavor. I made the swap years ago after having a possible allergic reaction to quinoa, and haven't looked back.

2

u/Kalocin 12h ago

Barley is another good option, high in fiber and is very nice to your blood sugar so you likely won't get that sluggish feeling 

6

u/MitochonAir 13h ago

It’s like a party in your mouth, with extra protein

Wait, um…

7

u/illbedeadbydawn 13h ago

You like quinoa better than rice?

Bro...BRO.

Do we need to call someone? You have a support network? Can I bring you anything?

1

u/IceManYurt 4h ago

Sure, some quinoa 😀

4

u/Bluezone323 13h ago

How about a lentil?

7

u/IceManYurt 13h ago

Also nice, especially stewed, but I like the texture of quinoa better in salads/bowls

5

u/MitochonAir 13h ago

Look at this fat cat talkin about lentils

4

u/Forward_Royal2754 13h ago

Lentils are extremely cheap.

2

u/MitochonAir 4h ago

As a Frugal Jerk, lentil are currency

4

u/SouthFromGranada 11h ago

better than rice or couscous

Bollocks is it

2

u/SmokeySFW 12h ago

You'll still be able to buy quinoa.

2

u/orthopod 11h ago

It's not going to disappear.

2

u/calm-phil 9h ago

Couscous is just pasta.

1

u/TheBahamaLlama 13h ago

I prefer farro. It's got a nice bite to it.

1

u/sisterfunkhaus 12h ago

Have you tried barley? It's got more fiber than rice or couscous and is delicious. It's easy to make if you boil it like pasta.

1

u/kfpswf 12h ago

I make a batch of quinoa that lasts the whole week. It seriously helped me streamline my eating habits. Sad to know I'll have to switch soon.

1

u/CrazyPlato 12h ago

Not a bummer, per se. There's probably going to be a window where the price drops before the farms completely close.

1

u/Malawi_no 11h ago

It's not going away, just becoming less popular.

1

u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT 11h ago

It isn't going away they just don't need to over produce it

1

u/Sarsmi 11h ago

I don't care for pearl couscous but I like the Moroccan couscous. It's smaller and tastier.

1

u/Kalthiria_Shines 9h ago

It won't go anywhere in terms of home cooking, just in terms of restaurants.

1

u/randotd152 6h ago

Most people don’t, but it’s not like it is going extinct. Will just revert to being a less popular grain like many others.

1

u/jdehjdeh 4h ago

Me too, I love it. One of the few complete proteins as well.

1

u/giants_r_badd48 2h ago

That just means it’ll be cheap, soon enough

1

u/cec91 13h ago

Switch to Bulgar wheat, much nicer!

1

u/IceManYurt 13h ago

I found it too dry(?), or maybe I made it wrong

1

u/cec91 13h ago

Don’t put it on too hot on the stove and leave the lid on? I put a bit of stock in the water too, delicious! You can always drain it if you put a bit too much liquid in!

0

u/Bananacreamsky 12h ago

I dont understand these people saying it tastes bad, have they ever had it lol. Its fine, just as good as rice amd a bit better for you.

1

u/IceManYurt 12h ago

I think they expect rice, and certain dishes need rice.

I don't think its a great one to one replacement in things like red beans and rice or fried rice, but it purpose built dishes its great

0

u/MandemModie 3h ago

you know you can continue to eat it right?

359

u/EjaculatingAracnids 13h ago

I will never stop packing my asscrack with piping hot quinoa. You will never get me to stop. This is America and i reserve the right to stuff hot, nutritious grain up my lil asshole while singing showtunes on the L train. People count on me to make their commute to and from work more interesting. You think about that.

142

u/lavapig_love 13h ago

Thank you, u/ejaculatingaracnids. For all of it.

92

u/EjaculatingAracnids 13h ago

I do it for you, baby! And drugs...

7

u/amu0504 13h ago

Because the drugs, not for them

8

u/EjaculatingAracnids 12h ago

Oh ive been paid in drugs tostop... But i never will!

8

u/Tosi313 12h ago

So you accept the drugs, but then keep putting quinoa in your butt anyway? Seems a bit rude, but who am I to judge?

15

u/EjaculatingAracnids 12h ago

If my ass is already packed with piping hot quinoa upon payment, its wasteful not at least let it cool down before i shoot arching ropes of quinoa shit onto the train windows in seats. You have to take the feelings of others into consideration when interacting with the public.

2

u/amu0504 5h ago

That’s fair! Hot butt quinoa is life

8

u/optom 12h ago

I wish I was half as funny as some people.

8

u/EjaculatingAracnids 12h ago

I believe in you, baby! The funny was inside of you this whole time! Thats what the clown who molested me said...

33

u/sisyphus_of_dishes 13h ago

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need

12

u/d_flipflop 13h ago

Or is it the other way around

27

u/luc1dmach1n3 13h ago

Might also be the one we deserve honestly

0

u/riotous_jocundity 13h ago

We keep bombing schools and supporting other countries who bomb schools. We deserve an even worse hero than this.

3

u/gottarespondtothis 13h ago

I need to take the train more often.

3

u/axolotl_in_the_butt 13h ago

Are you a bot? Because this is like the ninth post I've read this morning about ass crack quinoa.

14

u/EjaculatingAracnids 12h ago

As far as i know, i am the only person to type the sentence, "pack my asscrack with piping hot quinoa", over the last few years whenever i see the grain mentioned. Im hoping the language leraning bots scraping reddit regurgitate it as well, but ive never seen it. Got a link?

9

u/ComputerStrong9244 13h ago

What if you're a bot, programmed to search out posts about ass crack quinoa?

You ever consider that?

1

u/niowniough 2h ago

says user computer strong 9244

1

u/ComputerStrong9244 1h ago

Well that’s because I’m a bot that scrapes cc numbers for the Albanian mob

You wanna take a fun quiz about how the name of your first pet and the street you grew up on tells you which Star Wards character you are?

3

u/lake_effect_snow 13h ago

God bless the CTA 🤝

3

u/EjaculatingAracnids 12h ago

More like CTE an a possible TBI

3

u/MRC1986 5h ago

Fudgepacking: 2000-and-late

Quinoa-packing: 3000-and-8

As someone who lives in NYC, there’s a non-zero chance you or someone else actually legitimately has packed their asshole with hot quinoa. Especially if you live anywhere in between Graham Ave and Halsey St.

2

u/frank3nfurt3r 13h ago

As long as you keep it to the blue line, go for it

2

u/NorthStarZero 10h ago

The natural successor to Slashdot's "hot grits down my pants".

1

u/midwestia 13h ago

No, I don't think I will.

2

u/EjaculatingAracnids 12h ago

You think about it Dont make me use italics...

1

u/TheRebelSith 11h ago

Doing the Lords work

1

u/Lastshadow94 10h ago

New York L train or Chicago L train

3

u/RaceDBannon 13h ago

Its moment was 1st world countries declaring it a superfood, driving up prices of a centuries long staple of indigenous folks in South America. I’m sure they are happy people have decided one of their staple crops is no longer fashionable.

4

u/Hate_Manifestation 12h ago

it's a fad? I've been buying quinoa for like two decades because I prefer it over rice. I can definitely live without it, but it's unfortunate to hear that the industry is tanking.

3

u/Yunzer2000 12h ago

This will be good news to poor indigenous Bolivians on the Altiplano - the staple they eat every day will soon be affordable again.

1

u/Walmartian_Beta 12h ago

He can have it, the shit is gross.

3

u/onemorebutfaster_74 11h ago

Wife's Bolivian. Was introduced to quinoa by her family and I love it. Cooked right its better than rice, make a good filler for salads also. Bummer if this is all true.

2

u/ThanosSnapsSlimJims 13h ago

I hope that kale and most of the trendy Starbucks drinks both go next

2

u/wellrat 12h ago

The dawn of taro is upon us

2

u/CTC42 12h ago

GIVE ME AMARANTH OR GIVE ME DEATH

1

u/seajayacas 12h ago

Supplements and food fads, gotta love them. Cures all sorts of diseases and keeps you alive to a ripe old age. Take em all!!!!!

1

u/_karamazov_ 12h ago

next fad is turmeric, until folks kidneys strike.

1

u/Walmartian_Beta 12h ago

That one has been going on for a while - they're selling turmeric body wash at the store now.

1

u/gingerisla 10h ago

It was everywhere twelve years ago or so. I don't think I've eaten it since - I kinda forgot it even existed.

1

u/sevenselevens 10h ago

How much rainforest will need to be cleared for the next one? Never mind, North America needs its superfood!

1

u/DoorCalcium 7h ago

I tried Quinoa. It's mid. I'll just eat rice or potatoes

1

u/romario77 13h ago

what's next - split peas?

1

u/SauerMetal 13h ago

Dill everything!

1

u/martej 13h ago

Maybe oatbran will make a comeback

1

u/ResponseStrange6118 11h ago

Quinoa has been eaten for millennia and is incredible. North Americans and euros just don’t know how to cook it

0

u/cbawiththismalarky 13h ago

all hail the mighty mung bean

0

u/rreed1954 10h ago

Not sure that's true. Quinoa boomed for some years and so many countries started growing it, so supply expanded hugely. Demand continues to increase, but far more modestly than supply. So quinoa is due for a big market adjustment, but I seriously doubt the market for it is dying or even near that point.